sad story

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Anita

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Jul 10, 2002
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Sad story

Hi everyone,

I have been reading many posts and finally decided to start this one telling my story... hoping it will make me feel better.

My first trip to Dominican Republic was in December 2001, with my brother and my father. We went there to spend Christmas holidays. I was going through some delicate times, and was visiting a psicologist. The trip went really well. I was not planning meeting any guys or getting together, but as it happens I ended up with one of the dancers from the hotel. Well in fact first I was with his friend, and through his friend I met him, dancing in one of those dancing competitions in the hotel. I took it as a joke, thinking nothing serious, but I found myself really liking this dancer. I absolutely love dancing. And it was a mixture of him being really good looking, dancing well, the way he talked...

Anyway, I came back home, and two months later I was back in the same hotel, my father and I. I didn?t know what to expect... but the trip went really well. I was with the guy again, but even better I made excellent friends with the rest of the dancers. After two trips, I got really close with everyone there. I wan all the dancing competitions in the hotel, and always had people to dance with.

And I went back home, although I had a job in Brussels and moved there. By that time I had really fallen for this guy and the country. I was absolutely in love with everything there. I started phoning the guy, and we had long conversation, sometimes over an hour, it felt great talking to him, and to the rest of the dancers, hearing all the stories of one getting married, the other meeting some nice girl, I really felt as if I was part of them.

From the beginning it was clear that it was me really making the effort to keep in touch with them. They would never phone, it was only me phoning. Not even on my birthday he phoned or sent an e-mail. But the problem was living on my own, I felt quite lonely, in the mean time my best friend got married, and even though I knew I was not acting correctly I kept phoning... I think to the point where he was starting to get a bit fed up with me...

And there was a third trip, in May. I was really excited about it, really looking forward to it, I had talked to them many times telling them when I was going... and the trip wasn?t as expected... from the beginning he told me he was in love with a girl who worked in the hotel, and later I found out he was snogging one of the guests in the hotel. We had a big argument, he nearly lost his job. But at the end, we kind of ended as friends.

And I went back to Brussels. Even though the trip had been disappointing, I was still convinced I wanted to go and live there. And I started looking for a job, and finally got an excellent non-paid internship. I was really excited about the opportunity to be able to live in Santo Domingo. I checked this forum every day looking for places to live. I was back in touch with all my dominican friends, who also offered me a place in their house, I had already planned to see them and how we were going to meet. I lost a lot of weight, trying to look good for when I was there. Everything was planned, but just 2 weeks before going, when I had my tickets bought, things got really nasty at home, my father?s business was going bankrupt and somehow I found myself in the middle of all his problems... I had a nervous breakdown (don?t know the technical words for it), had to start taking medication and I could not go.

The weeks after were terrible. I was sad, angry... it was hard. I kind of gave up the idea of the internship. I started working for a bank at home, trying to make new friends here, settleling here. Everything was going a bit better. For Christmas we went to the Dominican Republic, but to a different area, again many men came to flirt with us, most of them only looking to shag with you, I was a bit disappointed because none of them were friendly or nice as I remember my other friends.

I did not enjoy work in the bank, and currently I am looking for a job in hotels. I still have the hope to be able to live and work in the Dominican Republic at some point... My father suggested making a trip this May, probably to the same place we went last May. I phoned my friends, and to my surprise they told me the dancer I had been with, is now married with an american girl, and they are both living in the Dominican Republic, and he is no longer in the hotel. I must admit it has been hard hearing that. Things seem to change and move so fast over there, compared to here.

Anyway.... so that is my story... sad, silly, I suppose usual in some way... still I have nice memories, I still hope I can go and enjoy life there, their way of life....
 

crazy_4_u_l

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Mar 15, 2003
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R.E.S.P.E.C.T

SHUT UP PETAKA..... LIKE GIVE HER SOME RESPECT! I COULD JUST IMAGINE WHAT SHE FELT LIKE!!!!!!! KEEP UR COMMENTS TO YOURSELF, IF U DONT LIKE WHAT U READ! THEN DONT READ THEM!!!
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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Anita

You seem like a nice girl.It probably took a lot of courage to write what post.Remember that life is like riding a wild horse...when you get thrown off you just have to brush yourself off and get back on.If I got down and out everytime life threw me a curveball I would be dead already.Learn from your experiences.As you encounter new forks on the road of life, the quagmires become more visable and the right direction becomes clearer.Take a step back and decide what you have learned from this whole experience.Dont get discouraged and move on.
Larry
 

carlos

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May 29, 2002
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thanks for sharing that with us

Live neither in the past nor in the future, but let each day's work absorb your entire energies, and satisfy your widest ambition.
Sir William Osler (1849 - 1919), to his students


now the important thing is to try to move on little by little
 
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AZB

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Jan 2, 2002
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When you live at home (where ever you are from) do you make friends with poor low class people from the government project type neighborhoods? Do you go dancing with your local street scums? If not, then why do you people always seem to be so attracted to people in DR whom are looked down upon by their own people? If these resort dancers are not worth 5 cents to their own people then what expectation you have from them? The resort dancers are mostly all uneducated, make 200 dollars / month and have no social status in society. The dominicans who stay at those hotels never talk to these people as they know there is little to gain from their friendship. These people will lie to you to get whatever they want. Most of these dancers already have are married and have kids with more than one woman or man (in case if she is a girl). They only want visa or money to get out of their situation. Almost all the guys have several girlfriends in all over the world. They are your friends as long as you bring them gifts and help them in financial difficulties.
They often laugh at dumb foreign girls who call them on regular basis and talk about hopeless romance on the phone. Most of these girls are overweight and older than the young studs. Some of these girls are actually hot looking but can't help but be seen as the dominican laughing stock by walking around with a gorilla.
This past weekend I was in a resort with my current dominican wife (well I had 2 there over the weekend- seperate days) and both didn't understand what you girls see in these low life men?
So when these gorillas don't get the attention from their own girls then just imagine what kind of an opinion they would have for girls like yourself who call them for hours from over-seas.
My advice is to stay within your own circle of people (equal class and education) and enjoy the beauty of this country with out added stress. If you must sleep with one of these gorillas then take them for what they are, sex machines; have fun and move on. Don't bring them gifts and don't bother calling them on phone. If they have a desperate story to tell you then make sure you have a counter story to let him know that you are in deeper financial trouble then they are. Lets see how long that love will last. Hahahaha
Good luck next time.
 

Tony C

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Jan 1, 2002
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AZB said:


This past weekend I was in a resort with my current dominican wife (well I had 2 there over the weekend- seperate days) and both didn't understand what you girls see in these low life men?

Isn't it obvious?
2 basic reasons.

#1. They are just doing what they would never have the nerve to do back at home in front of their friends and family.

#2. No decent guy back home would put up with their flaws(Physical or mental) so they fall for these animacion guys tricks.

I have no problems with these women tasting the "local color" when in the DR but when they start whinning about their lost Sankie Lover I have no sympathy.
 

MommC

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Mar 2, 2002
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Anita has learned a valuable lesson........

You notice she said she was doing the chasing.........

So she has learned to first review HB's Golden rules.....now a "sticky" on the main page of this forum.
Second she has learned that you can't "find" of "create" love. It will find you when the time and person are "right"!
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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no MommC

MommC

I think she learned to spot and avoid sanki con men that work in resorts and not to be so blind and foolish in the furure and to learn from the negative experience.I tried to say it nicely to her,AZB and Tony were much more blunt...you missed the picture completely.

Larry
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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You are running "AWAY" from something,

not "TO" something! Happened to me about 16 years ago.Came to the DR to get a "Dominican Divorce"! Had more sex in one week,with more women,than I had had in a year! Not hard to see which is "BETTER",here or there!It is usually harder on the women who come here,cause they think the "romance" is for real! The men only care about the SEX! Those men who still think that sex=love get all wrapped up,but they get what thay deserve!
Stay home,work on your "Problems" and go to Burmuda next time.You are "Ripe" to be hurt/taken BIG TIME in the DR!!! Cris Colon
 
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anitabonita

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Mar 6, 2003
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lo siento

i am sorry you had such a bad experience... we all know how difficult it can be to realize that someone you love isn't all you had hoped they would be...but you should also see that there is an upside to what you've been through.

you were fortunate enough to have been saved from the ordeal of moving to the DR for the wrong reasons and possibly even marrying the wrong person. there are a lot of people who were not fortunate enough to have been spared that ordeal.

just remember true happiness can't be found in a relationship or on a tropical island... it can only be found in your own heart. it's up to you to create the circumstances that will make you happy in your own life, you can't go out looking for others give them to you because you never know what other people will do. you only have control over you. :)
 

MommC

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Mar 2, 2002
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Nah Larry!! I'm just minding my P's & Q's!

I've been told (to put it mildly -don't want ALL my posts deleted) to be "warn & fuzzy". In case you hadn't noticed when I start in on all the "cons" in the resorts/resort areas I get "deleted"!
Remember....I've lived here 14 yrs in a resort/tourist area and I've heard and seen just about all of them.
I believed Anita when she said she was doing the chasing......the "object of her desire" obviously got what he was desiring!! (Who wouldn't take an American over a Belgian??)
 

Bugsey34

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Feb 15, 2002
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Re: Nah Larry!! I'm just minding my P's & Q's!

MommC said:
the "object of her desire" obviously got what he was desiring!! (Who wouldn't take an American over a Belgian??)

WHAT??????!!!!!!!!!!
 

MommC

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Mar 2, 2002
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What what????

It's a rumour down here (actually almost world over) that Americans have more money and less "smarts" that other nationalities!!



Can we please leave rumours where they belong. ( In the coffee shop or cafe,) please!!
 
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Danny W

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Mar 1, 2003
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Perhaps I misread Anita's post, but when was she being "conned" or "taken"? She got her hopes up for the wrong reasons and describes herself as being emotionally fragile - but who are the Dominican evil doers in this story? If you lose alot of money at a casino, do you blame the dealers?
 

Frenchies

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Mar 8, 2003
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AZB said:
The dominicans who stay at those hotels never talk to these people as they know there is little to gain from their friendship.

AZB......... We saw dominicans who "stay at the hotel" and believe us, we saw some (not all, thx god) with no education at all.... They were treated the resort workers as if they were nothing and if as the fact to be rich could buy them an education.... Wrong.
If we treat the waiters here in France the way they treated the waiters in DR, we would have a glass thrown on our faces... But we are polite and educated people (with not a lot of money).
We can all learn a lot about others... We learn a lot with people who have less education than we do. We have lots of friends in the resorts, for years. It is true friendship. No gift, no money....... Just the heart talks.
We prefer a poor person rather than a rich idiot!
Who do you think you are? you are happy to go in a resort for a week end and to see people working for you, right? Then respect them a little, if you have a brain & an education.

Edith & Cora
 

AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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You have a good point Danny W. Like I always say unless you're a child no one can take advantage of you without your permission.

Frenchies that was very well said. These people aren't dirt. They are only humans with less money than some people.
 

Negro Lindo

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Dec 26, 2002
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Anita

Thanks for posting your story. Count it all as experience. How will we ever appreciate the sunshine if there is no rain. You have to give people chances sometimes, and even though we sometimes find ourselves in situations that we know in our heart of hearts probably will end up bad, it's sometimes fun to go on the ride........ it's like a roller coaster ride,,,, you see how fast it is and all the ups downs ins and outs, you know it's kinda dangerous but you get on anyway. Sometimes it is soo much fun but every now and then you get off feeling like your gonna throw up.
I'm glad he did tell you he wanted someone else instead of dragging you along even further. Keep your head up and keep going.
 
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