So Many Stories, Why Can't We Learn

italianchica · May 5, 2003

Hi there everyone,
I'm new to dr1, all i did in the past was read the threads i decided to give my 2 cents. I've been reading so many posts about the men in the DR and all i could say is that Women should be extra careful. The problem withwomen is that we don't think with our heads but with our hearts and be give the benefit of the doubt to these men. I've met them all believe me now i could say that i will never take the chance again to have a relationship with a domenican "sorry for generalizing but i think that time is valuable and i will never waste my time again". I came to understand them they are not bad people, they just want to join the fairy tale life that we portray. The funny part is that when we read of a relationship that involves a DR man the stories are so familiar. To all the women out there reading this If you go to the DR have fun and don't get involved with anyone all it will do is cost you money especially phone bills!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!. be smart Long distance love doesn't last forever.

Ken · May 5, 2003

I am glad you have chosen to stop lurking and start contributing to the board, italianchica. Since you have been there and done that, I am hoping that your message will be better received than when it is delivered by, as someone called us, old "fuddy duddys".

AnnaC · May 5, 2003

And simpletons.

You can tell a child the stove is hot BUT, oh never mind no one's listening anywho. Live and let live.

johnsr · May 6, 2003

You can tell a child the stove is hot BUT,

Is there more to this analogy?

ClippedWing · May 6, 2003

Anna Coniglio said:
And simpletons.

You can tell a child the stove is hot BUT, oh never mind no one's listening anywho. Live and let live.

It's true AC, When I read you guy's warnings to a bunch of young naive girls about reading the archives and reading the sticky's it's YOU all that sound like the simpleton's to me.

These are young, impressionable 20 something year olds... No matter what you say, no matter how many sticky threads you have posted at the top... they're going to do what they want. It's good that they've been warned but you as well as I know, it's in one ear and out the other.

You were twenty once and at that age we 'think" we know everything and there is no better teacher than life itself.

No one can tell anybody something when it comes to their heart. So you guys start sounding like broken records, in my opinion.

I say let these girls do what they want...they'll learn and if they don't then it's their life.

Some of these girls just want to have a little fun.... CanadianKatie for example stressed she was just looking for this guy to rekindle and said she wasn't in love and you guys jumped all over her because you all "thought" you knew her feelings better than she did.

Your analogy summed it up best... you can tell a child a million times not to go near the stove because it's hot but until they found out for themselves, it's just words.

maryanne · May 6, 2003

It's not the age, it's the wisdom....

Don't assume it's "young things" getting involved because it's across the age spectrum! I have seen it all too! Obviously, if someone is asking for your advice or in particular, asking about someone who is DR, then they probably have concerns with their relationship and are not willing to admit it. No likes to make mistakes but we won't gain any wisdom if we are not allowed to make them! Let someone get hurt once and chances are, they'll smarten up and they won't do it again (let's hope!) Respect yourself and don't let anyone take advantage of you. Don't walk off that plane each and every time and leave your morals, respect, pride and wisdom at the Customs booth! If you want to come here and party it up, then by all means, do it! Use twice the amount of protection you would normally do at home and by all means, live out every fantasy! And know that you were not the first person to do this nor will you be the last!

I'm babbling now....enough said by me.

Forbeca · May 6, 2003

we need to keep on advising these women....

regardless of their immediate reactions. They may not pay attention right away, but eventually wisdom will sink in. It's an unfortunate and very annoying situation but we should not give up on them.

maryanne · May 6, 2003

a new line of work for me

Perhaps I should become a private investigator in the DR!

We should never give up on people because the world would be ugly if we did. But what is worse is to attack people! Let these people vent on this platform, ask for advice, and by all means, let them try to gain some knowledge about the DR. But can we try to stop the badgering? As soon as someone has the courage to say something, they are attacked! Let people talk about their experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. And let others listen, take notes and learn something too. Way too much negativity from some people sometimes.

Ken · May 6, 2003

ClippedWing said:
These are young, impressionable 20 something year olds... No matter what you say, no matter how many sticky threads you have posted at the top... they're going to do what they want. It's good that they've been warned but you as well as I know, it's in one ear and out the other.

You were twenty once and at that age we 'think" we know everything and there is no better teacher than life itself.

So why do they post their starry-eyed drivel on the board, ClippedWing? If it is because they really aren't sure they are doing the right thing and would like a reaction from people more knowledgeable about life in the DR, they are getting the advice they requested, though obviously it is not what most want to hear.

If they post because they want applause for snaring a sanki, they aren't going to get that from this board. They are just another scalp on some sanki's belt.

If they post because they think the board is like a women's dorm, where the gals all gather around and let their hair down, they have misjudged what this board is all about.

You, at least, had a reason for posting and were upfront about stating it: where in the DR can I find skillful Dominican lovers. You didn't find it necessary to go on about the men you have "tried" and found wanting, nor was there ever any misunderstanding regarding your desire for advice on whether you were doing the right thing.

If a girl is thinking of posting only to brag that she "captured" one of the animacion guys in one of the AI resorts, she would be well advised to keep the news to herself.

Forbeca · May 6, 2003

Re: a new line of work for me

Let people talk about their experiences, the good, the bad and the ugly. And let others listen, take notes and learn something too. Way too much negativity from some people sometimes. [/B][/QUOTE]

Exactly how I feel.

AnnaC · May 6, 2003

I have no problem with people giving advice or even having to read the same stories over and over but I do have a problem when some people attack the new posters or make smart ass remarks and that is why threads get closed.
I was hoping that if new posters read everything that is written in this forum especially the stickies it might keep them from posting the same questions and avoid being attacked. But since that doesn't always work then let's just answer without personal attacks

AZB · May 6, 2003

You women have a dead end situation in DR. All the women who choose dominican men are all from the lowest step of the socio-economical ladder. These guys are all poor with no future in site. These guys will always attach to you like leeches and totally fool you if you show weakness. These guys are not respected by their own women and have no place in decent society. Thats why they work in resorts to find a way out.
Now the bad news is that a decent well educated dominican bachelor with a good job is not interested in marrying a foreigner. There are plenty of young, well educated dominican girls for him from good families and fine manners.

trina · May 6, 2003

All the women who choose dominican men are all from the lowest step of the socio-economical ladder.

Pardon???

AZB, do you read what you write sometimes?

Robert · May 6, 2003

AZB has hit the nail on the head!

I wouldn't put all the resort workers from a low socio-economical background in the same category, just the majority.

I do not know of one tourist (female) having a relationship with a well educated Dominican bachelor that has a good job. Actually, 95% of female tourists will never come into contact with the above male. Before you jump all over me, working in a resort is not considered a "good job".

But, I do know of a few that have chosen to live in the DR and have found a well educated Dominican bachelor etc etc.

Some woman just don't get it or choose to ignore the facts and the reality.

Bugsey34 · May 6, 2003

AZB said:
All the women who choose dominican men are all from the lowest step of the socio-economical ladder. These guys are all poor with no future in site.

Excuse me? Interested in re-phrasing that sentence? Not all of us are with resort workers.

Forbeca · May 6, 2003

Before you jump all over me, working in a resort is not considered a "good job".

Now I'm very confused. I know these guys are from the lower classes, but I thought to work at a resort was a sought after position in the dr, which leads me to believe that the so called "sankies" want to better themselves... hence the obsession to have a white woman, to get out of the country, etc. etc.

ClippedWing · May 6, 2003

Anna Coniglio said:
I have no problem with people giving advice or even having to read the same stories over and over but I do have a problem when some people attack the new posters or make smart ass remarks and that is why threads get closed.
I was hoping that if new posters read everything that is written in this forum especially the stickies it might keep them from posting the same questions and avoid being attacked. But since that doesn't always work then let's just answer without personal attacks

In my opinion, you guys badger and belittle these poor girls. You guys responses are mean-spirited and insulting. Sometimes you guys don't even take the time to read the entire post like you all did with CanadianKatie.... you all assumed she was looking for love even though she clearly stated she was just looking up an old flame. where's the harm in that?

In my opinion, bottom line... the sticky's aren't working. I've been coming to these board for two years and I see a new thread about some girl and some dancer and "possible love" about once every two weeks.

They will keep coming, they will keep asking the same question over and over and over again. They are seeking validation...that's what they want to hear and I just think there's a nicer way to give them the truth instead of ripping them apart.

They all think there story is different and special. They don't know it's all been heard before even with the sticky's staring them in the face and instead of being ganged up on by a bunch of people who think they know everything... I think a more delicate tone is civil.

But hey this is only my opinion.

leopardlady · May 6, 2003

What a generalization.....

AZB said:
All the women who choose dominican men are all from the lowest step of the socio-economical ladder. These guys are all poor with no future in site. These guys will always attach to you like leeches and totally fool you if you show weakness.

Your post is obviously a generalization, so I assume you are speaking from your own experiences. I am not from the lowest step of the "socio-economical ladder" as you stated, nor am I wealthy either. But I am married to a Dominican man (who is not a resort worker, btw) and we live in the U.S. He has a good job, is a good man and we've been together for ten years. Have ups and downs just like every other married couple. The bottom line is we are a happily married couple.

And my husband doesn't fit into the category that you describe.

trina · May 6, 2003

Personally, I don't get the motive for all the Dominican-male bashing on the Board. Yes, some are bad...I would not even say that close to the majority are bad... Please stop generalizing and putting them all in the same basket...(I don't even know why I bother...sigh...)

You guys make yourselves sound like you have a big old case of penis envy...

Bugsey34 · May 6, 2003

Forbeca said:
Before you jump all over me, working in a resort is not considered a "good job".

Now I'm very confused. I know these guys are from the lower classes, but I thought to work at a resort was a sought after position in the dr, which leads me to believe that the so called "sankies" want to better themselves... hence the obsession to have a white woman, to get out of the country, etc. etc.

First, any steady job is a "sought after position" in the DR.

Second, do you think having a white woman and getting out of the country is the best indication of wanting to "better themselves"? Those that really want to better themselves can do it right in the good old Republica, and some are even married to people that aren't white! Seriously! Hard to believe, I know.

Stick a fork in me, I'm done with this discussion.

So Many Stories, Why Can't We Learn

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