Buttercups

XanaduRanch

*** Sin Bin ***
Sep 15, 2002
2,493
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Toward the end of the golf course, Dave somehow managed to hit his ball into the woods, finding it in a patch of pretty yellow buttercups.

Trying to get his ball back in play, he ended up thrashing just about every buttercup in the patch. All of a sudden...POOF!!! In a flash and puff of smoke, a little old woman appeared.

She said, "I'm Mother Nature! Do you know how long it took me to make those buttercups? Just for that , you won't have any butter for your popcorn for the rest of your life; better still; you won't have any butter for your toast for the rest of your life. As a matter of fact, you won't have any butter for anything for the rest of your life!"

THEN, POOF....she was gone.

After Dave got hold of himself, he hollered for his friend, Fred.

"Fred, where are you?"

Fred yells back, "I'm over here, in the pussy willows."

Dave yells back, "DON'T SWING, FRED!! For the love of God, DON'T
SWING!!"
 

XanaduRanch

*** Sin Bin ***
Sep 15, 2002
2,493
0
0
Another One for Larry

One Saturday morning he gets up early, dresses quietly, gets his lunch made, puts on his long johns, grabs the dog and goes to the garage to hook up his boat to the truck and down the driveway he goes.

Coming out of his garage rain is pouring down; it is like a torrential downpour. There is snow mixed in with the rain, and the wind is blowing 50 mph. Minutes later, he returns to the garage. He comes back into the house and turns the TV to the weather channel. He finds it's going to be bad weather all day long, so he puts his boat back in the garage, quietly undresses and slips back into bed.

There he cuddles up to his wife's back, now with a different anticipation, and whispers, "The weather out there is terrible."

To which she sleepily replies, "Can you believe my stupid husband is out fishing in that shit?"