Watch out for Costelau

In one of my usual dine-outs I decided to check that Brazilian place at the Colonial Zone called Costelau. Buyer beware!!

Here is what happened. Their "parrillada" system is like playing roulette. They have dices on the table where you make a choice for "meat", "fast", and "slow". If you choose fast, they start pushing their meat very fast and make you fill your stomach faster than an eating contest. If you choose meat, they start the parade of meats at a consistent pace. They dont let you breath. They start you with cheap parrilladas like chicken, sausages, spare ribs and other super greasy stuff, with enough grease for a car grease job. You pay $595 per person and by the time you see shrimp and filet mignon you are either frustrated enough, or filled with Havoline oil.

I chose a wine that recently competed with Hippo and won...guess it yet? Lat name ends in "Diablo" at $600 a pop. Overpriced!! No water was served unless requested. My usual request for a coke after dinner ended up with the gasless glass bottle kind at $40 a pop. The most incredible thing was their desert cart. Their one and only entry "conconete" dominicano a la Brazileira!! If you know what this delicacy is, you can find it at all colmados and is usually the last resort for poor people. You can find conconete still at 0.50 each!!! All in all I ended up wit a $4000 bill and indigestion.

The only saving grace was the flamenco show below their balcony at Museo Del Jamon. Besides that $20 for parking plus tips. NOT WORTH IT:

TW

Zeus

Stick to the Vesubio at the Malecon. I just hope the wooden statue vendors dont scare you if you dare sit outside. While you eat, all of the sudden you see these African-like voodoo statues rising from underneath the wall. You do not see people moving them. It looks like a scene from Dr. Moreau. The first time I jumped from my seat thinking some African spell was being placed on me. Stay inside in the coolness of A/C. If you want a seaview, just take a walk after dinner.

Keith, thanks for the suggestions. I used to like those 46th. street New York Brazilian places that served black beans and rice in olive oil with your favorite meat. I even like Flagler St. or Orlando*s cheap Brazilian joints better than Costelau.

Costelau is custom-made for Criss. He will bankrupt the place and be declared persona-non-grata.

TW

Conconete eaters, please stand up!!

Eating conconete does not necessarily make you a chopo. What becomes a chopo activity is eating conconete at Costelau and paying $595 for the priviledge. Now, while conconete has its appeal at certain times I find it too dry for my taste and in my opinion was made for poor people. It is still the cheapest dessert or sweet made in DR. The other cheapo is "palitos de coco". This one requires having water instantly to avoid sugar choking.

Another once chopo sweet was "jalao". But due to Dominican/York demand it has increased in value. Yet this is the king of chopo sweets. Dulce de Leche used to be a cheapo sweet until religious fanatics took it upon themselves to conduct pilgrimages to Higuey thus increaing its value. But Dulce de leche requires little investment to make and it is mostly sugar today. The quality today is so bad it should be called Dulce de Azucar.
Another crime has been mixing it with tomato marmelade and calling Dulce de Leche Relleno de Cajuil. It is not cashew I warn you. They also mix it with orange peel, but at a reduced rate today. Some wise guys mix in dry papaya instead of the more expensive orange peel. Chicharron De Leche, a specialty of little towns in the highway from Higuey to Bavaro is not among my favorites.

The now almost extinct "Gofio", made out of corn dust and sugar can easily choke a person and requires a cold drink after inhaling.

Another cheapo chopo delicacy is "Arepa Dulce", the pride of Jarabacoa*s highway. This is a good one when warm and just made. This is the most underrated chopo food. It could be a dessert or eaten as main meal by poor families. Poor children often kill their hunger with arepa.

Dulce de Coco de Colmado, which are made into little triangles and romboids with lots of sugar and coconut, and equally sweet Dulce de Naranja de Colmado, which has more sugar than orange are sold at $1 pesos each. Your sugar requirement for a day can be solved with one of these. Colmado conconetes are really bad news. They are as hard and low quality as Dominican frog legs.

Dulce de Guayaba en Pasta has lost its quality over the years. I prefer the imported kind. There is a glazed kind which is sweeter than the regular paste. When guayaba and cashews are made into slices in cans or bottles they come closer to the real thing, except the quality today is horrible. Unless you find the home made kind you will never know the goodness of these delicacies.

If you buy any of these sweets in the Dominican highways you will be yipped. All highway vendors are overpriced by almost 40%, including bus stops. You are better off buying your sweets at a supermarket.

My favorite sweets are Dulce de Ajonjoli, Bolitas de Cajuil(as sold at Plaza Criolla), Bolitas de Batata, and Bu?uelos(the rarest of Dominican sweets).

I recently saw someone eating raw Algarrobo. I had not seen this in years. This is the stinkiest fruit in the planet. No wonder they call it "mierda en cajeta". The whole corner smelled like shit when this guy was eating that stuff. yet it is delicious.

TW