I wrote this for "El Sol de La Florida" with regards to VP candidates

Golo100

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Jan 5, 2002
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By Golo for "El Sol De La Florida"

"Porque es que los candidatos durante periodos eleccionarios se meten los zapatos en la boca gratuitamente? Fijense, "El Presidente", como se hace llamar Leonel Fernandez se supone que sea el candidato intelectual, mesurado y certero en sus declaraciones. Entonces que hace un hombre inteligente declarando que el "no sabia nada sobre las actividades desfalcarias de Baninter, y que si hubiera sabido habria tomado acciones correctivas"? Solamente un politico retardado, como hay muchos, hubiera atraido atencion negativa a si mismo con tan tonta declaracion. Sus "spots" televisivos a principio eran mesurados y hacian el papel requerido de presentarlo como un hombre balanceado. Ahora se pone riduculamente a presentarse como cualquier coach del "March Madness". En vez de presentarse como el es en realidad, trata de convertirse en un producto de masa. Y aquello de contestarle al inepto chopo de Cesar Sanchez con una demanda judicial por la denuncia de que Leonel poseia una cuenta millonaria en Baninter? La inteligencia dictaba quedarse callado y dejar que esa noticia se esfumara en la amnesica memoria de los Dominicanos. Y es que un pelotero de grandes ligas como Leonel no juega con "amateurs" de la liga del Club Los Prados como Cesar Sanchez. Cada quien en su puesto. Leonel debe tener perros "pit bulls" que hagan el trabajo sucio de contestarle a los infelices que a diario lo atacan para provocarlo. Leonel solo debe dedicarse a hablar de su plataforma politica y dejar que Hipolito y los demas se les caiga la lengua hablando pendejadas. Pero es que verdaderamente, como he dicho anteriormente, Leonel no es tan inteligente como lo pintan. A Leonel se le metio su barrio de Villa Juana en la cabeza. Y parece ser que el burro calvo insiste en que comportandose como un burdo tiguere de barrio, sin conceptos ni verguenza, es la manera de agregar votos. Quizas sea correcta esta tactica, puesto que la mayoria de los Dominicanos se impresionan con cualquier basura. Miren que gastarse la garganta gritando, cogiendo un bendito sol y gastando las zuelas de sus zapatos para hacerle politica a estos corruptos e innecesarios politicos Dominicanos hay que ser muy tragabasuras. Y si fuera que a todos nos fueran a nombrar embajadores y secretarios de estado. Pero vayan a ver los miserables empleitos que buscan las gentes de la base. Y pensar que tienen que aguantarle mas vainas a estos jefes ministeriales cuando se posesionan en sus aires "split" y se escabullean en sus jeepetas de lujo. Porque somos tan limpiasacos? O es que los que viajan en yolas y prefieren tirarse a los tiburones de las playas de Miches tienen mas verguenza y dignidad que estos militantes de base y fanaticos de pulperia que a diario se matan discutiendo babas sobre su candidato predilecto? La verdad es que la tactica de Hipolito Mejia de inaugurar la misma obra diez veces, presentarse a inaugurar dos o tres tubos a cuales le llama un acueducto, quizas tenga sentido. Porque es que el Dominicano, por lo menos los tontos utiles que vociferan a diario, se creen hasta que Hipolito puede ser modelo de Yves Saint Laurent. Y lo unico que tienen Leonel e Hipolito de modelos es que ambos les cose el mismo sastre, que insiste en que el ruedo de los pantalones debe ser 12 pulgadas mas largos que las piernas. Le recomiendo a Hipolito que cambie a 46 "short" en vez de 46 "long" porque este maco inflado parece un globo de helio explotado, y el otro parece un espantapajaro que se quedo dormido ante los cuervos. De Estrella solo les digo que se veria muy bien con una manta de dracula o si no seria el candidato perfecto para "The Wolf...the movie" reemplazando religiosamente a Lon Chaney Jr. en su obra maestra del 1941.
Bueno, volviendo al punto, bien le recomendaria al "presidente" que es preferible que ni salga a las calles en los proximos 60 dias para que se evite una "vaina". Porque la verdad es que le han caido los palitos. Como se han dado cuenta que el le esta haciendo "coro" a todos los comentario, ahora hasta cualquier buscon lo provoca. Miren que la risa que da ver como hoy es atacado por "pesos plumas" como Josesito Hazim, que solo lo conocen en los bateyes de San Pedro de Macoris, y Ramon Almanzar que no saca nisiquiera el 50% de los votos de su familia. Y ver como Leonel se rebaja a ofrecerle la candidatura vicepresidencial a Troncoso, un hombre que ni da ni dice donde hay. Y ahora Troncoso se destapa diciendole a todo el mundo que le ofrecieron la silla de guano antes que a Alburquerque, mas bien a aburri-l-querque, el cientifico que ha curado la insomnia con su presencia.
Lo mas risible de todo es el protagonismo que se le ha dado a candidatos vicepresidenciales. Si bien recuerdo, a parte de vicepresidentes que heredan la presidencia, no conozco ni tres vicepresidentes que hayan llegado a presidente en el mundo por via del voto. Noten que hasta en Estados Unidos se escogen vicepresidentes si llenan el requisito de "aburridos", "anticarismaticos" e "invisibles". Recuerdan a Gore, Agnew, Lyndon Johnson, Chaney, Dan Quayle? Que cantidad de votos le dieron estos desconocidos e insipidos a pesos completos como Kennedy, Clinton, Nixon y Reagan? Si acaso el voto de sus mujeres y sus familiares. Si Leonel, Hipolito o Estrella no pueden por si solos conseguir aunque sea 35% del voto popular, lo digno seria que se retiraran y no hacer un escandalo con esto de los vicepresidentes. Entre Josesito Hazim, Rafael Alburquerque y Fello Subervi no hay ni 10,000 votos juntos.
Les deseo unos felices 60 dias mas a mis compatriotas Dominicanos antes del 16 de Mayo, ya que el 17 comenzamos con la reeleccion otra vez.
Golo."(Like I said...Leonel stuck his foot in mouth again)
 

trina

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Jan 3, 2002
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I would love to know what you wrote, and can understand most of it, but my head is starting to hurt trying to get through it. Do us a favour and post it in English so all can enjoy.

Thanks!
 
Mar 21, 2002
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No! Please Trina, don't ask for the translation. It's way too long and it's Golo's complaints. I mean what else can Dominicans do but COMPLAIN. That is one thing they are all good at is complaining.

Funding for this statement provided by the anti-complaining Dominican party.
 

tronco

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Dec 13, 2003
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Just For You Mr. Moderator, C. Colon

You see what is the problem here, you get peopple giving opinions about a country they can not even speak the lingo.

I whant to take this (oportunidad) to ask you what on earth i wrote in the other colum, that was out the rules that YOU ( borraste).
att.
SR.JOSE' WILLIAM CID GONZALEZ.
 

mkohn

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Jan 1, 2002
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Politics is not for everybody

For the ?Florida Sun?

Why is it that during election time, candidates freely put their feet in their mouths? Check this out, ?The President,? as Leonel Fernandez is called, believes that he is the intellectual candidate, moderate and accurate in his statements. Then, what is an intelligent man doing stating that he ?had no knowledge of Banniter?s activities, and that if he?d known, he?d have taken corrective actions?? Only a retarded politician, as there are many, would have attracted negative attention to himself with such a foolish statement. His televised ?spots? at first were moderate and gave the appearance of presenting himself as a balanced man. Now, he ridiculously begins to behave like another ?March Madness? coach. Instead of presenting himself how he really is, he tries to portray himself as a product of the masses.

And that about answering to that incompetent jerk Cesar Sanchez with a judicial order accusing Leonel of having an account of a million in Banniter? Intelligence had to keep quiet and let this news fizzle out in the Dominicans? amnesia-like memory. And its like a big league ball player like Leonel doesn?t play with ?amateurs? like Cesar Sanchez from the Los Prados? Club league. Everyone in his place. Leonel should have pit bull dogs to do the dirty job of answering to the poor devils who attack daily just to piss him off. Leonel should stick only to his political platform and leave Hipolito and the others to ?talk bu11$hit until their tongues fall off.? But really, as I?ve said before, Leonel is not as smart as he is portrayed. Leonel?s got his barrio of Villa Juana stuck in his mind. And it looks like the bald donkey insists on behaving like a tough guy from the barrio, with no clue or shame, it?s the way to win votes. Maybe this method works, since the majority of Dominicans are impressed with whatever trash.

Look who?s wasting their breath shouting, spending their time and wearing out the soles of their shoes to make these corrupt and useless Dominican politicians into polititians. It?s as if they were going to name everyone embassadors and secretaries of state. But go and see the miserable little employees who search for plain people. And to think that they must endure more $hit from these ministerial bosses when they take their cut and run around in their luxurious ?jeepetas.? Are we such losers? Or is it that those who go out in row boats and prefer to throw themselves to the sharks at Miches? beaches have more pride and dignity than these base militants and soap box fanatics who kill eachother discussing lunacy about their chosen candidate? The truth is that Hipolito Mejia?s way of starting the same project 10 times, looks like he?s taking two or three pipes and calling them an aqueduct, maybe it makes sense. Because it is the Dominican, at least the useful idiots who preach daily, they even believe Hipolito could be an Yves Saint Laurent model. And the only only thing Leonel and Hipolito have in common with models is the same tailor, who insists that the hem of their pants should be 12 inches longer than their legs.

I suggest Hip?lito exchanges his 46 short for a 46 long because this inflated goof looks like an exploded helium balloon, and the othe rone looks like a scarecrow who fell asleep on the job. Regarding Estrella, I?m only telling you would look very good with a Dracula cape, or if not, would be the perfect candidate for ?The Wolf the movie? religiously replacing Lon Chaney Jr. in his 1941 masterpiece. Well, back on topic, it should be suggested to the ?president? that it would be preferable that for the next 60 days he shouldn?t go out in the streets so he can avoid problems. Because the truth is that the other shoe has dropped. Like we know he is listening to all the commentaries, until somebody ticks him off. Look how funny it was today when he was attacked by a ?pen money guy? like Josesito Hazim, who is only recognized in the barrios of San Pedro de Macoris, and Ramon Almanzar who whouldn?t even get 50% of the votes from his own family. And see how Leonel lowers himself to offer the vice presidential candidacy to Troncoso, a man who has no clue. And now Troncoso starts off by telling the whole world that he was offered the ?guano? seat before Alburqueque, or better ?al-bore-querque, the scientist, who has cured insomnia with his presence.

The most laughable in all of this is the voice that has been given to vice-presidential candidates. If I remember correctly, except for vice-presidents who inherited the presidency, I don?t know of even three vice-presidents in the world who have been voted in. Notice that even in the US vice-presidents are chosen if they meet the requirement of being boring, non-charismatic and invisible. Remember Gore, Agnew, LBJ, Chaney, Dan Quayle? How many votes did these insipid unknowns get as compared to Kennedy, Clinton, Nixon and Reagan? Except for the votes of their wives and families. If Leonel, Hipolito or Estrella can?t get about 35% of the popular vote on their own, the dignified thing would be to drop out of the race and not scandalize the vice-presidents. There won?t be 10,000 votes between Josesito Hazim, Rafael Alburquerque and Fello Subervi.
I wish a happy 60 days to all my Dominican countrymen before May 16th, since on the 17th, we will begin the re-election once again.
mk
 

Golo100

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Jan 5, 2002
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To Mkohn and Onionc & Carrots

The translation offered here, while well intentioned is not accurate enough. Several of the thoughts have been lost in literal passages which do not have the essence of the spanish article. Take for instance the following passage given by Mkohn:
"But go and see the miserable little employees who search for plain people. And to think that they must endure more $hit from these ministerial bosses when they take their cut and run around in their luxurious ?jeepetas.? Are we such losers? Or is it that those who go out in row boats and prefer to throw themselves to the sharks at Miches? beaches have more pride and dignity than these base militants and soap box fanatics who kill eachother discussing lunacy about their chosen candidate?"
The real translation is as follows:
"But go and see the miserable jobs that party militants at the base level get rewarded with for their effort. And to think of what people at the base must endure from their high level official employers once they take possession of their air-conditioned offices and hide in their luxurious SUV vehicles. Are we such losers? Or could it be that boat people who throw themselves at the sharks off the coast of Miches have more pride and dignity than these base militants and Monday morning quarterbacks who spend all day at the grocery store arguing and bullshitting about their favorite candidate?"

While it is sometimes impossible to translate the exact meaning from the local language perspective to another language, what I had in mind is closer to the idea above. I apologize if the entire article is not translated. I hardly do threads in Spanish. This one was a transcript and was not intended to be an thread.
As for Onions and Carrots, he is just like Hipolito...a master at reacting, but never coming up with ideas of his own. But if he read the article, at least he was interested. Being that he reacted is proof that he is alive. If that makes me a complainer, what does that make all political pundits? What about all columnists who write about politics?

Golo
 

mkohn

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Jan 1, 2002
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Thanks Golo, that's a tough paragraph to interpret correctly. I can now see the intention of [aires "split"]. Thanks! And [fanatico de pulperia] ( I would never have gotten Monday morning quarterback from that - not being a sports-minded person).
It's obvious that you've observed and documented the situation in the DR, and I for one appreciate the candid and colorful way that you've described it.
mk
 

Golo100

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Jan 5, 2002
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To Mkohn

Dominican spanish and or slang is difficult to translate, specially because of the cultural things. For instance, our grocery stores in DR are very different than the New York ones. Grocery stores used to be colmados. Now they are colmadones. The reason is cultural. Colmadones added the dominoes game, the political monday-morning quarterbacks, the loud sound system playing bachata, regetton and salsa and the beer drinking melamine tables with plastic chairs. This type of colmadon is not possible in New York due to noise-level and community rules. Old fashioned colmados are now hard to find. A colmado now is a poor people's grocery store. Colmadones are very well equipped to handle many types of activities, including selling chimichurris, natural squeezed juice and even currency exchange/lottery tickets/bets.
The Cubans in Miami have the closest thing to colmadones with their Cuban M/M/quarterbacks who talk all day about overthrowing Fidel. They have the beer, the coffee and cigars. The noise is not permitted though.
Another example is our stray dogs. They are "viralatas". Our stray dogs usually hang around in packs and stay in the same block or neighborhood as if they were part of the community.
Our youth also have a colorful way of expressing themselves. If you want to offend a young man try calling him "menor" or "palomo". That will at best get you an unfriendly stare.

TW
 

Golo100

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Jan 5, 2002
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For El Sol de La Florida by Golo

El retroceso de nuestro pais se acentua cada vez mas. Este fin de semana hemos quedado hechizados bajo dos embrujos. Primero, el "Embrujo Romantico", un decadente espectaculo de abuelos merengueros que dizque son "boleristas". Entre ellos estaban en el Teatro La Fiesta del Jaragua Fernadito Villalona que no es mas que una sombra del Mayimbe de los '80 y mas calvo que Hipolito, la llamada "voz mas alta del merengue" Rubby Perez,que no es mas que el "chillon mas grande que se haya recauchado", Sergio Vargas que no encuentra mas titulos para sus canciones que la palabra "dile", Eddy Herrera quien se hizo famoso con una "licuadora" y el peor de todos, Rafa Rosario, que ni para bachatero puede dar,mucho menos como bolerista. Su feura no encantaria ni a las amantes del bolero de las tribus del Congo. Comparen estas figuras del tigueraje con verdaderos boleristas como Luis Miguel, Cristian Castro, Alejandro Fernandez y Alejandro Sanz y nos damos cuenta del relajo a que estamos expuestos a diario. Aqui hasta se le dio el Casandra a Joseito Mateo,otra figura patetica que en su mejor tiempo no llego a nada y se dedico mas a hacer enemigos entre sus contrapartes que ha lograr exitos.

Pero no nos conformamos con los boleristas. Toda esta semana hemos estado bombardeados por Leonel Fernandez cada media hora de cada hora con sus "spots" y videos de coach de basketball, "town meetings", y sus caminatas de "el presidente". Quizas ya para Mayo 15 estos "spots" nos tendran tan cansados que puedan hacer renacer la popularidad de Hipolito, algo insolito. Como sabemos, Hipolito hizo el milagro de hacer popular a Leonel y convertirse en su mejor publicista. Ahora Leonel le puede estar devolviendo el favor. Pero Hipolito no quiere eso. Cada dia hace lo mejor de su repertorio para ayudar a Leonel. Ahora tiene hasta al jefe de la fuerza aerea repartiendo billetes de $100 sin el famoso sobresito del Haitiano Zorrilla Ozuna. Esto es a la clara. Las guaguas de la OMSA, que no tienen gasoil para nuestros pobres pasajeros, van llenas de empleados del gobierno que son transportados de mitin a mitin como en los peores tiempos del Partido Dominicano. Ya no se usan catareyes. Ahora se usan con aire acondicionado. Se pueden ver en los mitines de Hipolito las mismas caras de los empleaditos de $4000 mensuales que los hartan de ron y galleticas. Mientras todo esto sucede, el "hombre Lobo" Eduardo Estrella, quien no ha perdido un solo pelo de su frondosa cabellera casi duerme a las mujeres del Reformista del aburrimiento en su mitin del Domingo. El lobo nos promete que va a bajar todo,la gasolina,la luz y hasta el dolar. Esto de un hombre que ni siquiera puede bajarle linea a su partido ni al anillo de Balaguer. Hipolito le hizo una visita al ya aburrido empresario Corripio, como si esta visita cambiaria el rumbo del pais. Imaginense uds. a Bush visitando a Bill Gates. Que puede hacer el hombre mas rico del mundo para cambiar la economia de Estados Unidos. Nada!!! Entonces este escenario Hipolito-Corripio es como si estuvieramos viendo a un catedratico de fantasias dando lecciones a un grupo de mongolicos, o eso es lo que se cree Hipolito. Como que vamos a besar la tierra porque este binomio de don-nadies nos va a cambiar el futuro? Pero fijense, que ni el FMI ha podido hacer nada por el dolar. Entonces, que pueden hacer Alejandro Grullon, Corripio y todos estos jugadores de dominoes de Hipolito? Bueno, quizas seguir haciendo embrujos a ver si caemos. El proximo "Embrujo Romantico" va a ser con Tego Calderon, Looney Tunes y Noriega, y Wisin & Yandel!!!
Golo
 

mkohn

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Jan 1, 2002
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strike two

The backward movement of our country is once again evident. This weekend we find ourselves under two spells. First, the ?Romantic Spell? a decadent spectacle of old-time merengue artists who say they are bolero artists. Among which in the Fiesta del Jaragua Theater was Fernandito Villalona who is nothing but a shadow of the Mayimbe of the 80?s, and balder than Hipolito, the cry ?loudest merengue voice? Rubby Perez, who is nothing more than the biggest tire that has ever been re-tread, Sergio Vargas who can?t find any more names for his songs except the word ?dile. ? [say it], Eddy Herrera who became famous with a mixer, and the worst of all, Rafa Rosario, who doesn?t cut it as a bachata artist, much less as a bolero artist. His fervor wouldn?t enchant even the bolero lovers of the tribes of the African Congo. Comparing these ?macho? guys with true bolero artists like Luis Miguel, Cristian Castro, Alejandro Fernandez and Alejandro Sanz and we notice the rubbish we are exposed to on a daily basis. Joseito Mateo, another pathetic figure who in his heyday didn?t amount to anything and seemed better at making enemies amongst his peers than getting hits, was even awarded a Casandra.

But we don?t go along with the bolero artists. We?ve been bombarded all week by Leonel Fernandez? promotional spots, every half hour of each hour, basketball coach videos, town meetings, and his long walks of ?the president.? Perhaps by the 15th of May, these spots will have us so sick and tired, that they will achieve the impossible task of giving re-birth to Hipolito?s popularity. As we all know, Hipolito performed the miracle of making Leonel popular, and becoming his biggest publicist. Now, Leonel could be returning the favor. But Hipolito doesn?t want that. Every day, he does his best to help Leonel. Now he even has the head of the Air Force giving out $100 bills without his famous sidekick Hatian, Zorilla Ozuna. This is true. The OMSA vans, who don?t have gas for our poor passengers, are out there full of government employees who are transported from meeting to meeting like in the worst times of the Dominican Party. They don?t use **catareyes** any more. Now they are air conditioned. In Hipolito?s meetings you will see the same $4000 a month public servants? faces who are stuffed with rum and cake. While all of this is taking place, the ?wolf man? Eduardo Estrella, with nary a hair out of place, nearly puts the Reformist women to sleep out of boredom at Sunday?s meeting.

The wolf promises us that he will reduce everything, gas, electricity, even the dollar. This from a man who can?t even take down the lines within his party, or Balaguer?s ring. Hipolito visited the already bored industrialist, Corripio, as if this visit would change the course of the country. Imagine, if you will, Bush visiting Bill Gates. What can the richest man in the world do the change the US economy? Nothing! So, this scene, Hipolito-Corripio is as if we were seeing a fantasy professor giving a lecture to a group of mongoloids, or at least that?s what Hipolito believes. Like are we supposed to kiss the ground because this binomial of Mr. Nobodys is going to change the future for us? But get this, not even the FMI hasn?t been able to do anything about the dollar. So what can Alejandro Grullon, Corripio and all of Hipolito?s domino players do? Well, perhaps they could keep casting spells to see if they get us. The next ?Romantic Spell? will be be with Tego Calderon, Looney Tunes and Noriega, and Wisin and Yandel!!!
Golo