Trouble adjusting

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Lilymom

New member
Apr 13, 2004
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Hello all.

I've been living in the DR for 6 years. But I am not adjusting.
I use to live in NYC since i was 5 yrs old. I did a total move. We bought everything over. I resign from my job. I left my family and friends.
It's such a long story. Is anyone out there in the same situation i am. Please let me know what you have done or think about my situation. Later on I'll write more.
 
NALs

NALs

Economist by Profession
Jan 20, 2003
13,474
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We need more info. to be able to help you.

What are the things that you miss about NYC that Sto. Dgo. has not provided? What do you actually like about Sto. Dgo? Is the weather a factor, the lack of seasons? You know, give info for questions like this and we'll be able to help you with your problem.
 
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JAMIE

New member
Jun 10, 2002
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I believe you can adjust yourself in DR if you want

Lilymom said:
Hello all.

I've been living in the DR for 6 years. But I am not adjusting.
I use to live in NYC since i was 5 yrs old. I did a total move. We bought everything over. I resign from my job. I left my family and friends.
It's such a long story. Is anyone out there in the same situation i am. Please let me know what you have done or think about my situation. Later on I'll write more.
Click to expand...

Lilymom:

Don't think negative, you are not alone find out hard to adjust yourself in a foreign country, I think most of the foreigners have same kind of feelings as you do, but only in the different levels and how quickly they can melt into this system.

I have been living in DR for 4 years, I am still not so used to a lot of things in here yet, but you need to adjust yourself while you are staying in DR, "When you in Romes, do as Romes do." Don't get me wrong, I am not saying everything you have to learn or do as Dominicans do (those bad things), but you have to compromise a lot of things surrounding you.

YOU CAN MAKE IT.
 
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navarra

New member
Apr 14, 2004
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Lily Mom,
I can totally relate to your feelings. Moving can be difficult, regardless if it's in the same country that you live in. Living in a poverty stricken country, can make the situation much worse. I can only tell you that maybe you can consult groups that may have been NYrk'ers, or people who have lived in the states at some point in time. I would think that a good start is contacting the American embassy and seeing if they have any info about doing this.

I don't know who would ever want to live in the DR, so I definately feel bad for you. It's nice to visit every once in awhile, but it is the worst place that I've ever been, and I surely wouldn't want to live there. I know it's hard for you being there, friends will help you get through it, but you may be having difficulty making friends, considering you are "american", by Dominican standards. Good luck. Dominicans are great people, they are accepting, after they get to know you and trust you, but prior to that happening, I'm sure that you are feeling alone. Hopefully things can get better.
 
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suarezn

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Feb 3, 2002
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navarra said:
Lily Mom,

I don't know who would ever want to live in the DR, so I definately feel bad for you. It's nice to visit every once in awhile, but it is the worst place that I've ever been, and I surely wouldn't want to live there.
Click to expand...

What the hell is going on in here lately? Where are all these people, whom we never heard of before, coming out of lately and completely bashing the country? Wouldn't be surprised to find out that they all share the same IP address.

LilyMom: What's making you stay? Why did you move there in the first place? Had you spent some time down there, before you made your move? What is it that you miss (I can't think of anything I could get in NY that I couldn't get in the DR...except maybe better shopping)? Anyhow, give us some more details.

To each their own...Personally, I couldn't see myself actually living in NY. Like Navarra said, it's nice to visit every once in awhile, but I don't know who would ever want to live there.
 
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Fiesta Mama

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Jan 28, 2004
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In Lilymom's defence ...

She is not bashing the DR at all - she simply stated that she is having a hard time adjusting (read "feeling homesick").

I feel for you Lilymom. No matter how great a place may be, it is inevitable not to miss what you have grown up with... especially family and friends. I think if you work on accumulating a network of friends (either likeminded or not) you will feel more a part of your community and would have more fun. For me, one of the main reasons I want to come to the DR is for the people... no matter where you are in the world, people make the place! Good luck.

suarezn said:
What the hell is going on in here lately? Where are all these people, whom we never heard of before, coming out of lately and completely bashing the country? Wouldn't be surprised to find out that they all share the same IP address.

LilyMom: What's making you stay? Why did you move there in the first place? Had you spent some time down there, before you made your move? What is it that you miss (I can't think of anything I could get in NY that I couldn't get in the DR...except maybe better shopping)? Anyhow, give us some more details.

To each their own...Personally, I couldn't see myself actually living in NY. Like Navarra said, it's nice to visit every once in awhile, but I don't know who would ever want to live there.
Click to expand...
 
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suarezn

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Feb 3, 2002
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FiestMama: I was talking about Navarra, not LilyMom...Notice that I quoted her post.
I think Lilymom should just move back to NY. She's been in the DR for almost 6 years now and still has not adjusted, so I don't think it's going to happen.
 
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conchita

*** Sin Bin ***
Apr 14, 2004
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You know what's funny? I have read alot of these past posts, and some have bashed the Irish guy who wrote the TRUTH about his experiences in DR, and I have read bashes about Americans, as well as Europeans, but as soon as someone says something about the DR, it's like, everyone gets defensive. Oh, it's okay to bash other cultures, eh?

Well, what I told Lilymom is how I feel about DR. It is a great place to visit, you can say what you like about NY, but I lived there until I was 10, and no, I wouldn't ever go back to live there. It is a great place to vacation, but to live, NEVER. As for NY, I lived there first when I moved to the states, and no, I wouldn't necessarily say that was the place to be either, but I definately would chose it over DR any day. You need to chill out, I can't stand it when people like you can dish it out, but can't take it when the truth needs to be told!
 
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Timex

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May 9, 2002
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1st WARNING!!!!

Stick to the Topic, or you will see your post deleted.

Thanks
Tim H.
 
Robert

Robert

Stay Frosty!
Jan 2, 1999
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dr1.com
conchita - Enough of the thread hijacking.

Either answer the original question or keep out of the thread.

I'm not kind and gentle like Tim, I prefer to lop off heads, it's cleaner and faster...
 
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miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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Hello!!!

MrMike said:
UM, thread's still open, I think the car wash lady just got her IP blocked. You are all still free to comment on my deep insights and wisdom.
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Conchita??, Conchitaaaa?, Conchitaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!!, Oh, sister where art thou?.

LM, just like everybody told you, if you have not gotten adjusted, you will not. A person does not need so much time (6 years) to adjust. I do have a few questions: What do you do for a living?, do you have all you need?, are you struggling?, do you have a business?,ect....
 
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birizarry

New member
Apr 2, 2004
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Hi Lilymom. I'm sure your must be baffled with all that's going on here, but please read my story. I moved from NYC to Santo Domingo when I was 14 years old (difficult age indeed). I lived there for 5 years and 2 in Casa de Campo. The last two years were great, but the first 5 were horrible. I wasn't use to the custom (although my mother is dominican and I spent many vacations there), and I wasn't use to the touchy-feeling and people getting in your business. On the other hand, dominicans are wonderful people who always try to exceed in helping you in any way they can. I also enjoyed hanging out without curfew and dancing. What I'm trying to say is that althouh it may be difficut, there are a couple of things you must like about the country. After seven years, I decided it was time to move on and I did. So if you definitely don't feel like you're fitting in, then move on. As hard as starting over may seem, it has to be harder living somewhere you don't feel comfortable in. :classic:
 
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Timex

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May 9, 2002
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Stick to the Thread!!!!

I just hope, that all of the Sock Puppets are all spent out!!!!

If you feel the need to make a point or post a view that is different from the Thread, please do it with a new post.

Thanks
Tim H. :smoke:
 
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dawnwil

Bronze
Aug 27, 2003
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Robert said:
I'm not kind and gentle like Tim, I prefer to lop off heads, it's cleaner and faster...
Click to expand...

Yeah, evil twin. Do you drive a Ford perchance?

Ok, back on topic.

I've only been here a few months, but am finding the opposite... no trouble adjusting. Maybe it's too soon.

I'd like you to write more, too, Lilymom.
 
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Forbeca

Bronze
Mar 5, 2003
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Is it safe to post on here????

Every other post was erased :nervous:

Lilymom, how can we advice you properly if we don't really know what's making you so uncomfortable? I'm sure there are a string of things that are not to your liking. Why are you still there? You don't do the DR, or yourself any justice by hanging in there. Six years is a long time, you should have been adjusted long ago. It is time to say goodbye.
 
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Fiesta Mama

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Jan 28, 2004
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I don't think it's fair that a lot of people have posted that it's time to say goodbye. Obviously Lilymom put considerable thought into this move in the first place since she sold her house and uprooted from her family, friends and job. Yes six years is a long time and especially for Lilymom if she has spent most of them "trying to adjust". Perhaps it is not possible for her to just go back to where she was living before, it's not as easy as one makes it sound. Perhaps family/other obligations require that she stay in the Dominican Republic and therefore she is asking for advice on how to adjust and not escape.

Lilymom, the Dominican Republic is a very different environment than what you grew up in and you may find that you will never fully adjust but with the right frame of mind you can come to love your new home and enjoy your time there. Maybe you isolated yourself and you just need to make some changes in your lifestyle. As many posters have said, you need to provide more details so that we can help you.


Forbeca said:
Every other post was erased :nervous:

Lilymom, how can we advice you properly if we don't really know what's making you so uncomfortable? I'm sure there are a string of things that are not to your liking. Why are you still there? You don't do the DR, or yourself any justice by hanging in there. Six years is a long time, you should have been adjusted long ago. It is time to say goodbye.
Click to expand...
 
F

Forbeca

Bronze
Mar 5, 2003
729
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Fairness is a tricky thing my dear. She asked, we replied. That you don't think our advice is a fair one, is neither here nor there, is it? She is unhappy where she is, so naturally people w/ advice her to move on. Lilymom did not really go into much details, how do we mere mortals give advice under such limited circumstances. We advice the obvious: Six years of your life is too much time to spend it in a place you're not particularly fond of.





Fiesta Mama said:
I don't think it's fair that a lot of people have posted that it's time to say goodbye. Obviously Lilymom put considerable thought into this move in the first place since she sold her house and uprooted from her family, friends and job. Yes six years is a long time and especially for Lilymom if she has spent most of them "trying to adjust". Perhaps it is not possible for her to just go back to where she was living before, it's not as easy as one makes it sound. Perhaps family/other obligations require that she stay in the Dominican Republic and therefore she is asking for advice on how to adjust and not escape.

Lilymom, the Dominican Republic is a very different environment than what you grew up in and you may find that you will never fully adjust but with the right frame of mind you can come to love your new home and enjoy your time there. Maybe you isolated yourself and you just need to make some changes in your lifestyle. As many posters have said, you need to provide more details so that we can help you.
Click to expand...
 
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santanatwins

New member
Jan 20, 2004
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MY 2 cents and experience

Until I know more about your situation I can only guess and share my experience.

I was born and raised in NYC and both my parents are Dominican born. I am fortunate in that my job allows me to visit DR whenever I please. I even met my present girlfriend and had my first child in Santiago. I myself, wish I could spend more time in DR than I do but making money comes easier outside of DR for me at present. Maybe one of your reasons for not adjusting to DR.

It's hard to compare any city in the world to NYC, believe me, I've been to over 45 different countries in the last 8 years and there's no city like NYC. But even NYC has it's faults. I for one can't stand the traffic.

No place is perfect. You have to look for all the positives and concentrate on those aspects. Surround yourself with people who share similar like's and dislikes. Take up a hobby to occupy your time when your not working or doing basic chores. Start a small biz that doesn't require much money to start just so you can meet and interact with people.
 
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