Someone do something!!
AZB, come back! You know we love you, even HIM.
Escott did yell, but he was only joking, but AZB didn?t believe him, and Escott almost did look ferocious with that joking-yell, but he really was only joking, but was very very grumpy because he was very very hungry. So many ?buts?. If only we hadn?t decided to cook jasmine rice. Why, I remember that day in the Supermercado, months ago, when the decision was made: buy rice, not noodles. So sad, so sad.
See, AZB wanted to make the rice? no, he wanted to make the perfect rice, to honor his host and add the final touch to a perfect meal and exceptional vintage wine. Only the most sensitive of men would worry about perfect rice.
When we started to cook, AZB told us perfect rice takes an hour. Oh oh, only 20 minutes had been allowed, so we were running a little late. Then he made an emergency trip to the grocery store for coconut milk (thanks AZB! You saved my butt!) See, that?s one sensitive man. I knew nothing about perfect rice, so decided it best to wait for his return.
When he got back about 20 minutes later, dinner was ready to go on the stove. We discovered another problem with the pots. The one set aside for the rice wasn?t big enough. We played musical pots and threw the Thai curry into a different pot, so AZB could have the very best pot for his perfect rice.
Alas, none of the pots were good enough for perfect rice. Escott frowned a joking-frown, but had the good idea to check the condo next door for the perfect pot. AZB waited anxiously for the good news. Unfortunately, not a one to be found.
AZB really wanted to make perfect rice. He told Escott he needed a non-stick pot, a big one, for perfect rice. By now, dinner is simmering, only 15 minutes away from readiness.
Escott said a few words? won?t repeat them here, but to the effect that he was going to buy a?. yada, yada, pot. Away they went.
About half an hour later they returned with the biggest yada yada pot you have ever seen, a non-stick beauty. They also had a supply of chocolate and Hagen Daaz? well, that?s what happens when one goes to the grocery store on an empty chocolate.
So, 2600 pesos later...
At last, AZB is in the kitchen preparing his perfect rice. But the burner set aside for him was too powerful? this so sensitive man saw it right away. I really don?t know what happened next, the next few minutes were a whirlwind of musical pots, elements being turned on and off, stove knobs flying, and of course, this was all overseen by a ferociously hungry, joking-yelling host.
And we still had an hour to go before the rice would be ready. Get the picture?
God, it was funny. If one weren?t a sensitive soul like AZB, I mean. I told him Escottisferociouswhenhe?shungry was only joking, but he really doesn?t believe it.
I am really worried now? AZB has shown his incredible sensitive side and Escottisalwaysjoking will never let it rest, and AZB is getting more and more offended and who knows what will happen.
We love you AZB! Even HIM!
Normally, I would laugh and giggle about the entire episode, but this time I simply cannot let it pass. Mainly because Pavan is coming this weekend and I want to see him on Sunday and now who knows what will happen and all I know is I hope Escott gets out a search party and finds his sensitive side somewhere, even though it?s been buried a long time. And I hope AZB gets out a search party and finds his sense of humor, because it got lost in a huge landslide on the weekend.
What a goddam mess, and this is what happens between friends who think the world of one another.
I think I feel another little cry coming along.
Heartbroken over this,
Dawn
PS AZB, that was the perfect rice! Tell him so, EscottishistoryunlesshesaysONEnicethingsoon.