Electric SNAFU

Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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Our good friend Ricardo of Sosua just dropped in here, complaining that he can't pay his electric bill at Edenorte, as they have no electricity there and can't run the computers.
Could someone lend them a generator and a couple of hundred pesos for gas, please?
 

Ricardo900

Silver
Jul 12, 2004
3,269
37
48
I have one!

I was planning on moving to the DR, so I placed a nice Honda EB5000I industrial generator (retail $1500US) on layaway. If you send me the remaining $500US that is left on the generator(Home Depot) I will ship it to you with the 5yr warranty and you can send me a remainder of $300 when you receive the generator.
 

PJT

Silver
Jan 8, 2002
3,562
298
83
Rocky said:
Our good friend Ricardo of Sosua just dropped in here, complaining that he can't pay his electric bill at Edenorte, as they have no electricity there and can't run the computers.
Could someone lend them a generator and a couple of hundred pesos for gas, please?



I imagine it is the usual case of nobody in the office having the horse sense to collect payment and issue paper receipts. Guess they did not have enough carbon paper or the jefe's permission.

Regards and good luck,
PJT
 

Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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Can anybody translate this into Spanish for me?

PJT said:
I imagine it is the usual case of nobody in the office having the horse sense to collect payment and issue paper receipts. Guess they did not have enough carbon paper or the jefe's permission.

Regards and good luck,
PJT
I was thinking of sending of this letter to Edenorte but am having trouble wording it in Spanish.

Dear cretins,
I have been an Edenorte customer since 9th July 2001, when I gave you a deposit for God only knows what reason. During this three year period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking Marlboros and drinking cuba libres.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat *** waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Dominican robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... HOW? I have no electricity!!! I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, I still had no electricity. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks, you finally hooked me up... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your downtime to be roughly 80% of the time, yet my bill keeps on climbing.
I have made 9 calls to get my bill adjusted, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled ball jugglers. I have been informed that someone will call me back; that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not there is a department that handles these issues(and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to that irritating robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle- moments to attend to. Frankly I don?t care, it?s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
I thought the phone company were **** and that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers.
When it came time to choose my electricity supplier, I chose Edenorte, as there isn?t anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.
Codetel, wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.
Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards Edenorte, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.
 
T

TiberiusMineola

Guest
Pulitzer Prize!! Graphic non-fiction Division!! Rocky!!

This is a masterpiece!! Well done. Pleasantly vulgar. It tells so much @ what life & survival is down here! Please forward copies to Listin Diario, The Wall Stree Journal, & The New York Times. Hilarious, . . & accurate to the proverbial 'T'. It reminds me of a great book by Herman Wouk: "Don't Stop the Carnival"; @ 1955 - 1965. Paperback. I suggest that all of us buy & read it; you'll see the DR in the 1st 15 pages. 1 minor problem: reading a book is a crime in the DR!! Or, . . at least I've never seen a DR reading a book! Have you? Rocky, thank you.
 

Jerry K

New member
Jan 1, 2002
285
2
0
Love letter to the power company

Rocky,
You are truly a blessing to the ministry. Any kind words for the folks that don't bring you water?
 

Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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Inapa

Jerry K said:
Rocky,
You are truly a blessing to the ministry. Any kind words for the folks that don't bring you water?
The funny thing about the water company here, being called Inapa, when pronouced in French, means, "there is none" or as we have grown so accustomed to hearing, "no hay".
Anyhow, yes, I am working on a special letter for the water company but I'm having too much fun with Edenorte right now to be truly focussed, now that I have a certain standard to uphold in my complaint letters...
 

BushBaby

Silver
Jan 1, 2002
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Unlike the person at EdeNorte who will receive the letter/e-mail, I DID read it all the way through. That is probably because (unlike anyone at EdeNorte) I have suffered most of the same frustrations as you have.

I think it may be a good idea if all of us that use the EdeNorte (Services???) & have suffered their Customer dis-service Department, use this draft to make a similar complaint. Getting 50 or 60 e-mails of the SAME base, might have some effect, especially if Cc's are sent to the press, CDEE director AND the Government watchdog (probably a stray without a collar that needs shooting anyway!!).

Can I use it in my complaint to EdeNorte please Marco?? I promise to keep the offensive bits IN & only change the sections that don't relate to my "Beef" with them!!

How many more are happy to send a similar letter to EdeNorte??

I need to argue VIP/Flash connection to Verizon too, so PLEASE get to work on that draft quite quickly!! - Grahame.
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
9,478
410
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www.ginniebedggood.com
Absolutely brilliant, Rocky! Now, record it & get one of those Dominican announcement services to blare it out of the public address system while driving up & down all day long outside Edenorte offices......come to think of it, why don't we All do that? Oh, I know, no hay gasolina........ :D
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
13,993
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www.rockysbar.com
BushBaby said:
Can I use it in my complaint to EdeNorte please Marco??

I need to argue VIP/Flash connection to Verizon too, so PLEASE get to work on that draft quite quickly!! - Grahame.
Please feel free to modify it in any way you like to suit the circumstances.
It should be good for phone companies, water companies, house builders, landlords, ex-wives, lawyers, mother-in-laws, bad neighbours, etc.
Is there anybody I forgot to offend?
 

timelessdreams

New member
Apr 5, 2004
128
0
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I remember this!

Rocky said:
I was thinking of sending of this letter to Edenorte but am having trouble wording it in Spanish.

Dear cretins,
I have been an Edenorte customer since 9th July 2001, when I gave you a deposit for God only knows what reason. During this three year period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking Marlboros and drinking cuba libres.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat *** waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Dominican robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... HOW? I have no electricity!!! I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, I still had no electricity. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks, you finally hooked me up... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your downtime to be roughly 80% of the time, yet my bill keeps on climbing.
I have made 9 calls to get my bill adjusted, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled ball jugglers. I have been informed that someone will call me back; that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not there is a department that handles these issues(and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to that irritating robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle- moments to attend to. Frankly I don?t care, it?s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
I thought the phone company were **** and that they had attained the holy piss-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers.
When it came time to choose my electricity supplier, I chose Edenorte, as there isn?t anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.
Codetel, wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cats litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.
Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards Edenorte, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

Hey Rocky, I remember you showing this to me on your PC, just waiting for the right time to send! Or was that the Codatel one??? In any event, please forward to the appropriate parties!

Preparation is everything!...even in the intention!

Susie