dominican lover has me so confused.

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Rio~San~juan

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hi

ok so where to start,

i met my dominican lover in feb 2003, i had the best 2 weeks of my life all because of him. i thought it couldnt get any better. then i went home and the year i spent apart from him was the hardest year of my live so i thought.
we kept in touch during the year and i booked up to return in feb this year (04)i never imagined that when i went back this year that it would be even better. if anything i thought it wouldnt work and i would have spent all that money for nothing.

i spent like the whole holiday with him. i was at the beach with him all day and then spent all night with him. at the hotel disco or just us. (if you know what i mean)

anyways as the holiday went on i started thinking to myself this is getting really serious and i know im going to be heart broken (because i always seem to get s**t on) i guess its just a thing that happens to me. but not this time. i had around 4 days left until i left tog o back to england :disappoin and my man (danny) asked me to marry him of course i said yes, i couldnt believe my luck the one thing that i have wanted with all my heart actualy happened to me. on my last day he asked me again and i was like Yes of course i want nothing more than to become your wife.
i
spent my last couple of hours with him at the beach and then i had to leave, i think this i know that that was the hardest thing i have ever had to do in my life. because of financial situations i cant return until may 05.
at the moment i dont know whats going on in my head. when we speak on the phone i am so happy and then about 10 mins after the phone call i am so depressed i just wish that i could be there with him. hold him. touch him, smell him whenever i close my eyes hes there. i dream about him all the time. and no one understands me, my mother wants to take me to the docotors and peple are starting to worry about me.

i just dont know whats going on with me anymore.
sometimes i think maybe i may be going crazy. i was just wondering if anyone is having or had a situation like mine.

also no one in my family is happy about my decision to marry danny. they think im mad and say it wont work.

if it was anyone else in my family they would all be so happy. i have finally found the love of my life and i truley believe i have. people go on and on about how he is just after a easy way the the UK but thats not it at all he wants me to live there with him. and he is definatly not after my money because i dont have any. lol

what do you guys think on the matter. should i stick with my family and be misrable of follow my heart and be happy?

any coments/questions welcome

Natacha
 

AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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Don't worry while you're gone someone else will hold him and smell him.

Bad Anna Bad.

Welcome to DR1. So you want to marry someone you spent two weeks with in the past two years and you won't be seeing him till next year? hummmm. The fantasy goes on. Long distance fantasy is always better than the real thing.

Please read the following thread
Sankies for dummies and everything else in that forum.
 

MaineGirl

The Way Life Should Be...
Jun 23, 2002
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amity.beane.org
well...

Don't ask us. We don't know. But since you did...

Marry your best friend. Best friendships take time to develop. Stay engaged as long as possible and spend a lot of time together before tying the knot. Remember, the aim is to develop a friendship that can survive a marriage.

So, make yourself a plan to get to know him better without actually getting married. Any chance you can move to the DR for a year and NOT have to depend on him or his family? If you can do it independent of him that is a great start.

I need to reiterate LOOOOONG engagement, it will save you a lot of grief if you really, truly know him well and consider him your BEST friend who ALWAYS looks after your BEST interests. Be around him long enough for the "romance" to fade into "every day matters". When you guys are both acting normal it is much easier to decide if you can really get along.

I'm glad to hear he's not after your money.

My two cents. Best of luck. Love is a funny, funny thing.
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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When do you plan on getting married and how/where will the two of you live together?

You said you don't have any money and you sounded like just paying for a vacation was a burden on you. Do you expect to win the lottery or something?

I just have to shake my head at some people. Why did you let yourself get emotionally involved? You know this guy for a couple of weeks and then you agree to marry him? I feel sorry for you. I hope you wake up.

Larry
 

chuckuindy

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Mar 8, 2004
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No one

Rule #1. No one on this board can help you. They are not involved in your situation and their Dominican love affairs are totally different than yours so they can not provide you with any help of any kind, even if they think they are experts on love in the Dominican Republic.

Rule #2.You are a grown up person, make your own decisions on all maters of love and friendship. You will fail and fail again, but the experience will make you strong.

Rule #3 .Any long distance relationship is expensive, very expensive, be prepared.

Rule #4. Being in love with a Dominican is no different than being in love with your next door neighbor; they just don?t live next door.

Rule #5. Learn Spanish and have him/her learn English. Without good communication your love is doomed.

Rule #6. No one on this board can help you in any way!

Charlie
 

jrzyguy

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May 5, 2004
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Rio...i cant believe you are seriously contimplating marriage with someone you met on vacation.

If deep down in your heart you do NOT believe he is a Sankie.....they why dont you have him pay his own way to visit you and meet your family?

He spent every day on the beach with you and every night with you. Doesnt sound like he is gainfully employed to me.

Honey...if all your friends and family are telling you something they cant ALL be wrong. The probaly know you better than you know yourself and seeing you get sucked in by some esteem issues.

My advise...(if he doesnt pay for his trip to come and visit you....and doesnt have a job)....is to go down there on occasion and get all the boom boom you can from him...but just realize that its fantasy boom boom. If you can handle that...then its cool....but if you are going to get yourself all worked up...then leave it alone.

How old are you btw? just curious.

definitely take anna's advise and check out the sankie threads.

good luck girl!!

(have been dating a domincan man here in NYC for nearly 2 years....and its at the point where we are both ready to let it go. TWO YEARS....and you are talking two weeks! I am bumming out...but we have spent enough time together to get over the "hot" part...and are both realizing that we are just not suited for eachother.

jj

oh...hell...if u want u can PM me and we can comiserate over our men.
 

simpson Homer

Bronze
Nov 14, 2003
559
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Before

You better move there with the guy and get to know Him!

Live and vacation are 2 differents words with differents meanings.

Vacation every thing is happines

Beer
SEX
Beer
SEX
beach
have fun and sex
thats vacation wonderful life 5 stars


think about living there now. make it your self.

Do you see your self making $100 British pound a month?
Living with his family and you feeding his family?
getting use to the public transportation?
Drinking Rain water?
not being able to have ice cream or meat in your refrigerator?

They could be serius but you have to give up a few stuff in you homeland to get to know this guy. or Travel back to the DR at the least every 3 month to stay longer than 3 weeks.

Your family love you and they are trying to make you realize many thing.

Well if you decide to go and live with him then just do it and don't ask just make sure to bring enoght money for you. and get a health insurance.

and WElcome to the DR. Good luck.

Dont forget to read the Link Anna posted:

Your story could be different.

We hope so.

Good luck
 
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Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
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You are the one that knows best

Rio San Juan,

I usually don't like to give any advice when it comes to matters of the heart because it's a very individual and personal issue but in all honesty this sounds like a story book romance to me and you know how those end. You know best only you can decide and I just hope you have the discernment to make the right decision. Sounds like there many of his kind around. Why settle for 10 cents on the dollar. Proceed with caution and good luck.

Sincerely,

LD.
 
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Escott

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Jan 14, 2002
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He sounds like a great guy. I think you should go for it. After reading this thread I have more respect for your thoughts regarding Sosua Beach and will rethink my position on same. I wasn't sure if you were from Canada or England. I am sure Anna is glad to here you are from the land across the pond.

Congradulations and my you have many beautiful babies!

Escottisshakingheadinpain
 

SalsaBlondie

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Aug 28, 2003
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not all bad..

i know everyone has negative opinions on dominican man/american woman relationships but i celebrated my year anniversary with my boyfriend on june 22, i go every other month or so, but what keeps relationship alive is talking. and trust. honestly just keep talking. we talk several times a day. he's working on his papers . he has passport but they told him don't try for tourist visa because it's impossible, so we went k-1. in any case, i am happy, and no one is sure of anything in this life. someone who has made me happier for the past year even long distance than anyone else ever has being close by, means something to me.
i lived with my ex husband for 6 years before marriage and once we were officially married, it only lasted a year... so.. there are no guarantees! :bunny:
 

chuckuindy

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Mar 8, 2004
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Sorry

jrzyguy said:
(have been dating a domincan man here in NYC for nearly 2 years....and its at the point where we are both ready to let it go. TWO YEARS....and you are talking two weeks! I am bumming out...but we have spent enough time together to get over the "hot" part...and are both realizing that we are just not suited for eachother.

jj

oh...hell...if u want u can PM me and we can comiserate over our men.

Hey man, sorry to hear about this.
Charlie
 

Rio~San~juan

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Aug 3, 2004
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hi

i would like to thank everyone for there thoughts.

to some of you, i have not only know danny for 2 weeks i have known him for well over a year and i have spent 4 weeks with him. he does have a job but when he knows im going he takes time off. we speak all the time on the phone.

some people have made me feel bad, so im just gonn take your comments with a pinch of salt.

many people do have bad relationships with dominican men alot of people i know have been hurt badly, not only emotionaly but physically too. and they have also lost alot of money buying expensive gifts. danny and i bought eachother a necklace from the vendors on the beach for valentines day i mean its not the price of the gift the the thought that counts.

i belive that he wants to be with me just as much as i want to be with him.

i really want to thank ESCOTT and SALSABLONDIE for writing such nice comments.
thank you

Natacha :bored:

(im from ENGLAND newcastle)
 
WAKE UP girl you were on vacation and met him twice in 2 years and you want to marry him??????? Is life that bad in England??? Do you get any in England??? Do you think Danny boy is being faithful for even a few days after you leave??? What type of job does he have that he can take off when your coming??? I believe Escott was being facetious, Wake up smell the coffee and get a life!!! But if you do get married leave me the info I want to go, He might have some hot cousins or a sister for me and Larry ;)
Badpiece
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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Rio San Juan, I was trying to be helpful so stop sending me PM's saying, " IF YOU DONT HAVE ANYTHING NICE TO SAY DONT SAY ANYTHING AT ALL!"

Trust me, what I said was not nasty, I was trying to get you to open your eyes.

Now please remove cabeza from culo.

Larry
 

johne

Silver
Jun 28, 2003
7,090
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Huh???

Rio~San~juan said:
i would like to thank everyone for there thoughts.

to some of you, i have not only know danny for 2 weeks i have known him for well over a year and i have spent 4 weeks with him. he does have a job but when he knows im going he takes time off. we speak all the time on the phone.

some people have made me feel bad, so im just gonn take your comments with a pinch of salt.

many people do have bad relationships with dominican men alot of people i know have been hurt badly, not only emotionaly but physically too. and they have also lost alot of money buying expensive gifts. danny and i bought eachother a necklace from the vendors on the beach for valentines day i mean its not the price of the gift the the thought that counts.

i belive that he wants to be with me just as much as i want to be with him.

i really want to thank ESCOTT and SALSABLONDIE for writing such nice comments.
thank you

Natacha :bored:

(im from ENGLAND newcastle)
Scott--You're the badest man in the whole damm town.>: And she thanked you besides. WOW!!!

JOHN
 

SalsaBlondie

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good luck natacha . do what you want.. which is what you'll do anyway.. right? :) probably, you should not ask questions like that on this place, advice will come from suspicious people and trolls more than well-wishers (unfortunately rightly so warning you about the many stories of ill-fated vacationers romances.. they are just trying to help probably... ). (the rest of us all swear we are one of the few girls with the few, rare, nice & honest men who love us for real)
ps-my man also takes off when i visit (OF COURSE!!!) any man would do that for his girl wherever possible.
do you speak spanish? do you like his family?



Rio~San~juan said:
i would like to thank everyone for there thoughts.

to some of you, i have not only know danny for 2 weeks i have known him for well over a year and i have spent 4 weeks with him. he does have a job but when he knows im going he takes time off. we speak all the time on the phone.

some people have made me feel bad, so im just gonn take your comments with a pinch of salt.

many people do have bad relationships with dominican men alot of people i know have been hurt badly, not only emotionaly but physically too. and they have also lost alot of money buying expensive gifts. danny and i bought eachother a necklace from the vendors on the beach for valentines day i mean its not the price of the gift the the thought that counts.

i belive that he wants to be with me just as much as i want to be with him.

i really want to thank ESCOTT and SALSABLONDIE for writing such nice comments.
thank you

Natacha :bored:

(im from ENGLAND newcastle)
 

SalsaBlondie

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oh well... what's important is that he is there when i *AM* there!
you dont ask what i do when he isnt here?! :laugh:



badpiece33 said:
Just a question from a troll, What does your man do when your not there,Salsa blondie? Dont be so naive to think he is sitting in DR waiting for you to return.
Badpiece
 
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