Dominically confused.

Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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Now this may seem a bit insane, but after seeing some of Larry's sankie posts, I guess it might fly.
I came to the conclusion today, that I have been here so long, with so many things that work assbackwards, that I don't know which way is up anymore.
When I first moved here, I couldn't believe how many fawcets were installed backwards, hot on cold side, cold on hot, clockwise, counterclockwise, and it has now got to the point that I can't remember which way is the right way.
My tap turning instincts have gone whacky.
I couldn't tell if they are right or wrong anymore.
It's time for a lobotomy.
 

Jerry K

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Jan 1, 2002
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faucet talk

Pretend your on a boat, port is hot (mucho putas), starward is cold, another day at sea.
For the land lubbers, left is hot.
 
Rocky said:
Now this may seem a bit insane, but after seeing some of Larry's sankie posts, I guess it might fly.
I came to the conclusion today, that I have been here so long, with so many things that work assbackwards, that I don't know which way is up anymore.
When I first moved here, I couldn't believe how many fawcets were installed backwards, hot on cold side, cold on hot, clockwise, counterclockwise, and it has now got to the point that I can't remember which way is the right way.
My tap turning instincts have gone whacky.
I couldn't tell if they are right or wrong anymore.
It's time for a lobotomy.

Now you trully are living in paradise, Who cares about such things, just have another Presidente and forget about it.
Badpiece
 

El Viejo

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Jan 2, 2002
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Rocky said:
Now this may seem a bit insane, but after seeing some of Larry's sankie posts, I guess it might fly.
I came to the conclusion today, that I have been here so long, with so many things that work assbackwards, that I don't know which way is up anymore.
When I first moved here, I couldn't believe how many fawcets were installed backwards, hot on cold side, cold on hot, clockwise, counterclockwise, and it has now got to the point that I can't remember which way is the right way.
My tap turning instincts have gone whacky.
I couldn't tell if they are right or wrong anymore.
It's time for a lobotomy.

Who cares? There is NO HOT WATER on either side!LOL
 

Rocky

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Hot and cold...

El Viejo said:
Who cares? There is NO HOT WATER on either side!LOL
I do remember that "Hot" goes on the left and "Cold" on the right, it's the way the valves turn that has me all messed up.
I'm concerned that this condition is going to worsen, and that I will soon start driving on the wrong side of the road, like the moto conchos do.
I know the educated Dominicans refer to platanos as "Vita Bruto", or "Dumb Vitamins", but I swear I've only eaten them a couple of times.
Maybe there's a chemical available that can restore my brain back to normal, as EDTA does for batteries...
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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Rocky said:
Maybe there's a chemical available that can restore my brain back to normal, as EDTA does for batteries...

Try taking 1 viagra per day and chase it with a few Presidentes. That should help.

Larry
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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Rocky said:
It's time for a lobotomy.

Yes, but you just need to get a daily lobodomy on your other brain. That's where the viagra comes in.

The presedente will dull your senses and you wont care if you are confused because you will be drunk, happy and sexually satisfied. Nothing to be confused about as long as you have your priorities in order.

Larry (the doctor is in)
 

Rocky

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Hmmmm...

Larry said:
Yes, but you just need to get a daily lobodomy on your other brain. That's where the viagra comes in.

The presedente will dull your senses and you wont care if you are confused because you will be drunk, happy and sexually satisfied. Nothing to be confused about as long as you have your priorities in order.

Larry (the doctor is in)
The scary part is that what you say, makes sense to me.
PS: Is this all part of the "Buffalo Theory"?
 

AlaninDR

Mr. Chunky Skin
Dec 17, 2002
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This is a serious condition not to be taken lightly. Allow me to expand.
The Buffalo Theory only applies to weak brain cells. Yours are existing in a damaged state. Had you diligently practiced the art of drinking, your condition may not have advanced to this dangerous level since the weak brain cells would be constantly purged. Little is written in current medical sources, but, taking into consideration your status and life as a "sunkie" (sunkie is a tall, thin, handsome Canadian man that only has sex with under 30 thin and attractive Dominican women) there is some potential hope for you.
There is hope if you immediately change your life style but first you must understand the nature of this illness. You have an STD. All the young women you are with drink. They are constantly purging their brains of weak cells. By maintaining close physical contact, you are receiving their weak brain cells by osmosis. Beware of any young slut with plantain breath, Vita Bruto. Besides, you never know what she's been doing with that plantain.
The antidote for your condition is to have sex with fat, ugly Canadian women which could elevate you to a sankie. The more drastic cure would be having sex with over 30 year old Dominican women. Or maybe I mean over 30 Dominican women. Whatever.....i'm feeling a bit confused myself. What side is the hot water valve?
 

Rocky

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AlaninDR said:
you.
The more drastic cure would be having sex with over 30 year old Dominican women. Or maybe I mean over 30 Dominican women. Whatever.....i'm feeling a bit confused myself. What side is the hot water valve?
Let me see if I understand this...
Am I to find any 30 Dominican women, or 30 women over 30, and can it be like Clinton sex, or does it have to be all the way, and must I take precautions, does it count if it's wrapped in plastic?
My God, now I'm even more confused.....
I think I need to take a cold shower.
Which way does the cold water tap turn???
 

CyaBye3015

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Jan 8, 2003
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AlaninDR said:
This is a serious condition not to be taken lightly. Allow me to expand.
The Buffalo Theory only applies to weak brain cells. Yours are existing in a damaged state. Had you diligently practiced the art of drinking, your condition may not have advanced to this dangerous level since the weak brain cells would be constantly purged. Little is written in current medical sources, but, taking into consideration your status and life as a "sunkie" (sunkie is a tall, thin, handsome Canadian man that only has sex with under 30 thin and attractive Dominican women) there is some potential hope for you.
There is hope if you immediately change your life style but first you must understand the nature of this illness. You have an STD. All the young women you are with drink. They are constantly purging their brains of weak cells. By maintaining close physical contact, you are receiving their weak brain cells by osmosis. Beware of any young slut with plantain breath, Vita Bruto. Besides, you never know what she's been doing with that plantain.
The antidote for your condition is to have sex with fat, ugly Canadian women which could elevate you to a sankie. The more drastic cure would be having sex with over 30 year old Dominican women. Or maybe I mean over 30 Dominican women. Whatever.....i'm feeling a bit confused myself. What side is the hot water valve?

Alan,

You are one sick, twisted individual; I'm buying shooters if you?re coming down for Turkey day, Ted will poor.

Your biking buddy Joe
 

Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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AlaninDR said:
This is a serious condition not to be taken lightly. Allow me to expand.
The Buffalo Theory only applies to weak brain cells. Yours are existing in a damaged state. Had you diligently practiced the art of drinking, your condition may not have advanced to this dangerous level since the weak brain cells would be constantly purged. Little is written in current medical sources, but, taking into consideration your status and life as a "sunkie" (sunkie is a tall, thin, handsome Canadian man that only has sex with under 30 thin and attractive Dominican women) there is some potential hope for you.
There is hope if you immediately change your life style but first you must understand the nature of this illness. You have an STD. All the young women you are with drink. They are constantly purging their brains of weak cells. By maintaining close physical contact, you are receiving their weak brain cells by osmosis. Beware of any young slut with plantain breath, Vita Bruto. Besides, you never know what she's been doing with that plantain.
The antidote for your condition is to have sex with fat, ugly Canadian women which could elevate you to a sankie. The more drastic cure would be having sex with over 30 year old Dominican women. Or maybe I mean over 30 Dominican women. Whatever.....i'm feeling a bit confused myself. What side is the hot water valve?

Alan, that is interesting but had Rocky diligently practiced the art of drinking as you described, he would not be a "sunkie", but a "drunkie". The only real remedy for his current state as a "sunkie" is to have sex with a "munkie". Now, I am not going to go into detail what a "munkie" is but if Rocky can figure it out and find one ( it wont be hard), he will never elevate to a "sankie"
and will cease being a "sunkie". Then, I believe, he will be able to determine which side the hot weater tap is on. Good luck Rocky.
Larry
 

Rocky

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Sunkie Munkie

Larry said:
Alan, that is interesting but had Rocky diligently practiced the art of drinking as you described, he would not be a "sunkie", but a "drunkie". The only real remedy for his current state as a "sunkie" is to have sex with a "munkie". Now, I am not going to go into detail what a "munkie" is but if Rocky can figure it out and find one ( it wont be hard), he will never elevate to a "sankie"
and will cease being a "sunkie". Then, I believe, he will be able to determine which side the hot weater tap is on. Good luck Rocky.
Larry
I feel a platinum disc coming out of this "sunkie munkie" thing.
If we make millions with it, it won't matter about the taps anymore, I can pay someone to turn the shower on and off for me.
 

DominicanScotty

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Jun 12, 2004
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Marco needs to take a nice trip back to Canada in January or February. The freezing cold, ice, snow and wind restores those brain cells back to where they were BEFORE you went down to paradise. So what do you think Marco? Good idea?

Scottie
 

Chirimoya

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Dec 9, 2002
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Hot and cold taps

A lot of the time there is no water in either of them. Nevertheless I developed my own code some time ago:

H = helado
C = caliente

The direction you turn the taps to open and close them still drives me bonkers. I have observed that downstairs toilets seem to be most popular place to invert the clockwise convention.

A hotel I once stayed in had showers where each tap opened and closed in opposite directions, so when the water was really hot, it was lethal.

:cross-eye
 

Rocky

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That's exactly it..

Chirimoya said:
A lot of the time there is no water in either of them. Nevertheless I developed my own code some time ago:

H = helado
C = caliente

The direction you turn the taps to open and close them still drives me bonkers. I have observed that downstairs toilets seem to be most popular place to invert the clockwise convention.

A hotel I once stayed in had showers where each tap opened and closed in opposite directions, so when the water was really hot, it was lethal.

:cross-eye
You couldn't have described it better.
I know a lot of people wonder why I'm complaining, because all they can see is that I live in paradise in warm weather with warm women and all the other perks, but, dang man, those reversed hot water taps can slam you into the back end of the shower stall, and to get the darn thing to turn off, you have to scald yourself.
Oh woe is me...