Help, Moving from US to Santo Domingo due to Husband's Deportation.

dteferreira

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Nov 23, 2004
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Hello Everyone,

I am hoping someone will take the time and understand my dilemna and offer any advice or guidance, as this would be very much appreciated. As stated above, I am forced (by my heart anyways) to relocate with my husband and 3 children and am very conmcerned as although he has some family in the Dominican Republic, they are by no means well off and I am at a loss as to how to find English Schools for my children and work for myself and husband, along with the necessity of housing, food etc. We will not have any US income to rely on as we are too young for pensions, etc. and were always low income to middle class in the US. Once again, any advice, thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! I may be emailed at ferreirad3@aol.com

Diane
 

Lambada

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Mar 4, 2004
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This is not a happy set of circumstances & I empathise. English language schools cost money & the job situation is not promising. Is there no way you could stay in the US & work until you discover if your husband has found work down here? I'm thinking primarily on the effect on your children of being uprooted to a new culture AND having to accept a precarious lifestyle. If it were just you, then that would be different. But with children involved I think one has to rethink one's priorities. I applaud you for trying to keep the family together but I have to ask at what cost?
 

Robert

Stay Frosty!
Jan 2, 1999
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Take Lambada's advice. If you have no strong local support network or finances to fall back on, you will be making a big mistake coming here, one that could very well tear your family apart.
 

PJT

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Jan 8, 2002
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Diane

Follow Lambada's advice.

Allow your good reason rule over your heart.

Regards and God Bless,
PJT
 

Snuffy

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May 3, 2002
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Yes...Follow advice of wisdom...

Dominicans often leave their family to go and work in the USA. It is a sad situation but one they feel is necessary. Your situation is the reversal with your husband needing to leave his family in order to return to the D.R. and establish a foundation whereby you all may live a descent life. It is sad but it can be done.

Later when you join him I would advise to have a way to return to USA with your children if things do not work out as planned. Perhaps you would have a family member purchase return tickets for you and your children, if something goes wrong.

First and foremost are the children. This is a time when you have to do what is most prudent for their sake.

When we are young we tend to allow ourselves to follow our heart moreso when making decisions. As we become older we realize the necessity to be more practical. We have to take into consideration all factors.

It is a fallacy to read this board and believe that this place is inexpensive. Sure you can live on beans and rice, live without any power when the power system fails here, take public cars for transportation, go to a public hospital when your children are sick, put your children in low low quality schools at a very cheap price, clean the dust buildup in your home that comes in when cars pass in front of your home and stir up the dirt...oh the list goes on and on. And some people do live this way. If your husband returns and does find work...how much will he be paid...you need to research this on the internet here.

And help from his family...well...that is probably at best 'a possibility'. Is it something you can depend on? How much help can you depend on? What type of help can you depend on?

I feel for you and for your children. I hope that you will be very careful at this juncture in your life and make the best decision for YOU and YOUR CHILDREN.
 

Talldrink

El Mujeron
Jan 7, 2004
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Snuffy and Lambada offered up the best advise here.

Take your time before you make a life-altering decision like getting rid of your US life and purchase a new one in DR. Some questions to consider:

Is leaving the kids here with a very close relative for a few months an option? What skills do you or your husbands have to find a job there?
Do you have the capital to start a business?
Where will you live?
Do you have a network of family and/or friends to count on in DR? in the US?

These are just some things to consider. Like the others said, dont let your heart guide you there and then real life sets in and you are heartbroken.

BTW - Whatever the reason which brings your husband to be deported, did HE put your family and the family's best interest as his main priority then?
Por bueno a el no lo deportan...
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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Talldrink has said it all

That last name rings a bell and if it is from Mao, I think I know the "who " and the "why" of the deportation order.

You should stay in the states, working, until he gets a job.

If this is who I think it is, there are no English language school in Mao. English language schools in Santiago cost $3000+ a year (dollars)... Normal private schools cost $150 a month plus books, uniforms transportation and activities. Not cheap.

Although your hears wants to come here, you would be most wise to creat some savings and fall-back money, just in case...

Take this very slow...


HB :D
 

Timex

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May 9, 2002
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Hola dteferreira.

DR1 has---
Threads: 33,543, Posts: 242,650, Members: 9,454

Do your homework (Search, Search, and Search again!)
Ask your questions.
And Good Luck!


By the way---
Welcome to DR1!!! :cool::cool::cool::cool:

On a more serious note.
Have you been to the DR before?
Is it possible for you to come, and make a short stay, while you Husband, gets acclimated with his return?

Everybody in the DR, is trying their best to avoid being touched by the Country's finical crisis.

If you are going to survive on your husband?s family's, generosity, be sure they are in the position, to offer it without, causing a hardship, to themselves.

They may be thinking you could be their financial savoir.

Just putting 3 kids in Bilingual Schools, limits you to the Capital (SD), and Santiago, and will set you back, Thousands of US Dollar$ There are other places, but these 2 are the most likely, starting points.

Living here takes Money, different amount for different people and situations.

Read the Message Boards, start with, Searching words like Work, Campo, Moving, Living, Schools.

Or Start HERE
Popular Post's / Past Sticky's. Required reading for Newbies!!! NEW! NEW! NEW!

I'm not trying to rain on your parade, or get into a heated discussion with you or anybody else, but with the kids, dependent on you, you need to have your eyes wide open, and be learning as much as you possibly can, to make the best decision you can, for your Family.

You might wind, staying where you are for awhile and send monetary support to your husband, while he gets everything set, for your family to start a life here.

PM or E-mail me, if you need more info, I will be happy to dicusse this off-line.


Thanks
Tim H.

Help, and be Helped.
That?s why were here!!!
 

enchanting

New member
Nov 23, 2004
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Unfortunately, you forget to say whereto you are relocating.
e-mail me at drleonoffice@yahoo.com, if you care.
We offer referral of door to door movers, we've tried this company various times and it always resulted cost effective and good. There are some bilingual schools in Santo Domingo and Boca Chica (there especially the Little peoples school) which are not all that costly.
You should also tell me what type if qualifications you have, maybe we can be of some assistance to find you a job.
You are up to an adventure girl, I wish you luck and hope I can help with something
 

Dolores1

DR1
May 3, 2000
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Home schooling is always an option. Check on the Internet to see what may be available. That could work as the transition between both languages takes place and your children learn Spanish. Bilingual schools are much more expensive than Spanish-language schools.
 

Mr_DR

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May 12, 2002
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dteferreira said:
Hello Everyone,

I am hoping someone will take the time and understand my dilemna and offer any advice or guidance, as this would be very much appreciated. As stated above, I am forced (by my heart anyways) to relocate with my husband and 3 children and am very conmcerned as although he has some family in the Dominican Republic, they are by no means well off and I am at a loss as to how to find English Schools for my children and work for myself and husband, along with the necessity of housing, food etc. We will not have any US income to rely on as we are too young for pensions, etc. and were always low income to middle class in the US. Once again, any advice, thoughts or suggestions would be greatly appreciated!!! I may be emailed at ferreirad3@aol.com

Diane

How old are your kids?

You have to let this guy go, there is no other ways.
If you do go there you will be doing harm to your kids, and the way it sounds you guys were low income to middle class in the states the land of opportunities, and that was with the two of you. For yourself is going to be much harder, and if you were low income in the states imagine what you would be in the DR? At least in the states you have welfare programs that would help you with your kids, which is something you will not find in the DR.

Your kids would hate you for life if you have them grow up in the Dominican Republic, a country where opportunity to succeed are slim to none.

Divorce this guy and then you would only have to worry about 3 kids instead of 4 kids.
 

marliejaneca

Bronze
Oct 7, 2003
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Exactly my thought!!

KenoshaChris said:
Why'd this guy get deported anyway?

It must have been something serious, wouldn't you think? Now why would someone want to follow this person, if this person did something so wrong to get deported in the first place. I would then think that their life in Santo Domingo would be very precarious.

Follow Lambada's advise !!! Give your children a chance to grow up right, what kind of a life would this man be able to give his children, being a "felon" and all.

Always remember, your children did not ask to come into this world, you brought them into it, so you owe it to your children to give them the best that you can give.

Sorry if this sounds harsh, but you must clarify if your husband is the "villian" that we are all thinking he is, otherwise he won't get any kind words about him from us! Also, like another poster said, were you and his children foremost in his thoughts when he got himself in whatever trouble he got into? Will he continue this bad behaviour in Sto. Domingo, to try to make a living for his family? Do you want this person as a role model for your children and have them learn from his ways.

We need more information !!!
Marlie
 

dteferreira

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Nov 23, 2004
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Questions and Answers

Many thanks to all who have replied in kind and some not so kind :cry: .
As for my husband being a convicted felon that he is not, if anyone were so abreast on immigration law they would realize that even a simple mistake created over 10years ago as a juvenile and considered a misdeameanor can be deported under Clinton's 1996 Immigration Reform Act, so please do not judge as all of us have done something we regret atleast once in our lives. His having worked 80+hours for years on end while I went to school and raised our children does not mean that now is the time to hang him out to dry for something foolish he did as a youth. In regards to welfare anything nowdays in the $30-$40,000 yearly range in my eyes is considered low to moderate income and does not mean automatically that we were on welfare or charity cases, as some of you assumed. Lastly, anyone who has taken such sacred vows as marriage and been married to the same individual for 15 years cannot possibly just up and divorce someone unless you are shallow and never meant the words for better or worse. This to me is the most important lesson my children will learn, what it is to love and be loved regardless of where we were. If I was not thinking of my children and their quality of life, I would never have asked for suggestions or guidance in the first place. My children are not toddlers, instead in their teens and are fluent in Spanish and desire to be with their father or mother as a family and that is why I am considering making such a huge sacrifice...for them, not just because my heart says I can't be without a man for a week or two. I sincerly do appreciate the kind comments and concern that some of you have shared with me and appreciate the dialogue and NO I do not know who or what is in MAO but I can assure you it was not my husband.

Once again many thanks,
Diane
 

SafireDream

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Jul 5, 2004
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My heart goes out to you

Diane,
My heart goes out to you and your family. You will be in my prayers. I am proud to see you stand up for your love for your husband as well as your family. Your children will learn a valuable lesson about life, marriage and love from their parents that no one on this earth would be able to teach them. Yes, children as well as adults do get use to a certain way of life but we are human and capable of adapting. But your children will learn that there is more to life than materialism and not to put down others for what they do not have. It is a plus that your children are bilingual as that will make the transition a little less shocking. Also, no one knows your situation or your husband. You know him best. People always jump to the worst conclusion. I think that it makes them feel a bit better about themselves and the lives that they lead. Hopefully one day they will learn to stop pointing fingers and passing judgement. There are many ways other than major criminal acts to get deported under the Immigration Reform Act.

I wish you nothing but best wishes and love.
 
Last edited:

swake

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Oct 27, 2002
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Mr_DR said:
How old are your kids?
Divorce this guy and then you would only have to worry about 3 kids instead of 4 kids.
Nasty comment without you knowing the facts! And witty ;)
 

jruane44

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Jul 2, 2004
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Sorry but nobody gets deported for a misdeameanor committed as a juvenile. If he told you that he is not telling the truth. I wish you nothing but the best.
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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Upon reading your second comment

I have to say I admire your tenacity and devotion. It is laudable and corageous at this very difficult time in your life.

FYI: The mention of Mao comes from the Ferreira name. It is very well know in that town, one membring th local DA and another being a playerin the illegal substance market in NYC. So you can see what I was thinking..

If you are a college graduate, you can earn money here in your field. YOur kids will probaably go either to the public schools or the Private, Spanish-speaking Colegios. Neither are absolute hell-holes nor are they heavens. But a child can learn if the parents keep on his case. Major change for your kids. But if you instill the same values that you seem to have, they will survive and probably get into a good college in the states on scholarships or with Federal loans...

I think I would tend to have the same doubt as the previous poster regarding the impact of the juvenile misdemeanor...

HB:D
 

Spirit7

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Aug 26, 2004
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My two cents.

Diane,
It really doesn't matter what the reasons for the deportation are; what's important is YOUR relationship with him and what you feel. Of course, the children should come first.

I still think the best advice was given by Lambada and Robert at the beginning of the thread. Let him come ahead, feel things out and get settled, and then if conditions permit you can follow with the family.

When I returned to the DR, under good circumstances, I spent three years looking to find decent (read decent-paying) employment and went through most of the savings which I still had (after depleting them while staying in Europe for 4 years). Unless you have quite a nest-egg, go easy and don't make a drastic move which you may regret later. Best of luck!