Need advice please

cbello

New member
Nov 19, 2004
67
0
0
I am currently living in Canada and was married to a Dominican man in August of this year. Now here is the catch, I am coming to SD next week for 3 months possibly more, this is not an easy decision. I have a 12 year old daughter soon to be 13, and she doesn't want to move there at all. We stayed at my husbands family this summer and rented an apartment for a few weeks as well and she didn't like DR all that much. Being so spoiled here in Canada would make it hard for her wanting to live there, plus she has decided to go and live with her father in Canada.

I have no desire in living here (Canada), but I have to also consider my daughter's feelings, even though sheis going through the "I KNOW IT ALL" stage..

I would like some friendly advice and please no insults. ;)
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
514
113
It will probably be fair to say that the family of your new husband

is far below the economic and comfort level of your former husband's capacity to care for her.

If your new husband is earning very good money and can place your daughter in one of the very nice English language schools in Santo Domingo, Santiago, La Romana or elewhere, then she should probably go with you. Otherwise, she will be in for a rough time. And change in life style for a teenager is chaotic, but at this particular, hormonal, level, in her life it is a tragedy mixed with deep psychological resentment and envy (you are happy but she is not).

There must have been some reason for the court to give you custody. Just tell her that your house will always be open for her at any time day or night, and that you will always have a plane ticket for her, as long as you live.

Oh, and be sure to keep your return open..you are going to enter a "male dominated world" unlike anything you have ever experienced.

If you violated any of my three golden rules, you are in for a difficult time.....


HB :(:(:(
 

cbello

New member
Nov 19, 2004
67
0
0
I have mentioned to her ?very nice English schools in SD? etc.. but even so, still prefers Canada. As far as custody goes, we've had shared custody since day one.

I am quite aware of the culture, been around long enough and I must add?
I have a treasure in my hands. All is 50/50, I know this might come has a shock to you but it?s the truth and nothing else.

I've met quite a few "S"'s and believe me... Not interested! Not then and definitely not now!

Thanks for your help?

;)
 

Danny W

Bronze
Mar 1, 2003
999
12
0
Please don't put your daughter through this. Your post indicates that you don't even know how long this trip will be. Unless your daughter needs to be under your day to day supervision, what's wrong with her staying with her father? You can talk to her every day (knowing teenagers, that should be torture for her), and visit whenever you want. Kids go to sleep away camp and boarding schools all the time and it's no big deal. Don't take her from the land of opportunity to the land of no opportunity, and from being with her peers to being an outsider. Think of her, not of yourself. - D
 

Timex

Bronze
May 9, 2002
726
0
0
Hola cbello!

I truly hope, you do not take this the wrong way.

A 12 to 13 year old Gringa, mixed with a little, resentment and rebellion, who knows it all.
Unless, you have the Umbilical cord, reattached, you will have to watch out, as she will be highly sought out. Please tell me, she does not have, blond hair & blue eyes.

I know what I go through with my 15yr old, always chasing the guys away. I consider myself lucky, that she is not a light skinned rubia, with azule eyes.

You as her Mom, are the only one, who can tell, if she can be transplanted, successfully.

I wish you all the luck in the world, on your families, new journeys.

Tim H.
 

cbello

New member
Nov 19, 2004
67
0
0
gracias

Danny W said:
Please don't put your daughter through this. Your post indicates that you don't even know how long this trip will be. Unless your daughter needs to be under your day to day supervision, what's wrong with her staying with her father? You can talk to her every day (knowing teenagers, that should be torture for her), and visit whenever you want. Kids go to sleep away camp and boarding schools all the time and it's no big deal. Don't take her from the land of opportunity to the land of no opportunity, and from being with her peers to being an outsider. Think of her, not of yourself. - D


There is absolutely nothing wrong with her staying with her father... and I must admit you do have a point. I was kinda thinking about myself for a while, just the thought of not seeing her as often made me question the whole idea. You did shed some light there, especially when it comes to dealing with teenagers and thank you.