Spoiled kids, faulty parents.

AZB

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What I saw last night in Supermarket Nacional was unbelievable. A young kids around 12 yrs old was needlessly touching 800 pesos special edition Vodka bottle on the rack and then accidently drops it, shattering into small pieces. The 800 pesos bottle was wasted yet the mom didn't even admonish the kid. Simply took him away as though he dropped a plastic water bottle. She was not even noticibly upset or anything. I was amazed to see that she didn't even attempt to pay for the broken bottle. then what really made me upset was that mom was seen busy shopping and the same kid was seen playing with glass juice bottles in another location of the store.
When will the parents take control of their own kids and start acting like parents, or better yet, start raising kids who would act in a more responsible way. I have seen the same attitude in all over the world, Pakistan, USA and DR etc. If that were my kid, i would have given him a smack on his face. Only then he would think twice before touching anything which doesn't belong to him.
AZB

P.S: an ocean spray 1 gallon cranberry-apple juice for 464 pesos???? That is like 15 dollars for a gallon. Holly cow, the prices have gone up insanely in stores here.
 

Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
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AZB,

I agree with you 100% on this issue. The problem is that kids (all over the world) have more rights than the parents until they commit a punishable crime and then everyone points the finger at the parents for not doing their job. However, today's laws don't allow parents to act like parents. Sometimes I think the "children" are the parents. Some kind of discipline was required in this case. Once again I agree with you and the non-reaction of the parent does make one wonder. What role do parents really serve today??!!

-Lesley D-


AZB said:
What I saw last night in Supermarket Nacional was unbelievable. A young kids around 12 yrs old was needlessly touching 800 pesos special edition Vodka bottle on the rack and then accidently drops it, shattering into small pieces. The 800 pesos bottle was wasted yet the mom didn't even admonish the kid. Simply took him away as though he dropped a plastic water bottle. She was not even noticibly upset or anything. I was amazed to see that she didn't even attempt to pay for the broken bottle. then what really made me upset was that mom was seen busy shopping and the same kid was seen playing with glass juice bottles in another location of the store.
When will the parents take control of their own kids and start acting like parents, or better yet, start raising kids who would act in a more responsible way. I have seen the same attitude in all over the world, Pakistan, USA and DR etc. If that were my kid, i would have given him a smack on his face. Only then he would think twice before touching anything which doesn't belong to him.
AZB

P.S: an ocean spray 1 gallon cranberry-apple juice for 464 pesos???? That is like 15 dollars for a gallon. Holly cow, the prices have gone up insanely in stores here.
 

Mirador

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pinch that kids hands off and shoot the mother,problem solved.

When my wife Altagracia complained to me that our three-year-old Aroa was getting out of hand, that he did not obey her anymore, I gave her a small stun gun I had purchased more out of curiosity at a local Armory. I told her to show it to Aroa while pressing the button to make it spark, while warning him that she was willing to use it. However, I asked her to never actually use it against the child. Then one day she got carried away and gave Aroa a small jolt. The next time she threatened Aroa with the stun gun, he taunted her and dared her to zap him. As a father, I find Aroa very easy to reason with, however, I've noticed he respects more his older brother Alan (20 yrs) than his mother or myself.

Mirador
 

AnnaC

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Jan 2, 2002
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OMG there's better ways than shooting a child. That child will never trust to tell you anything in the future. Of course he respects his brother he's never shot him. One extreme to another. Hey your next child maybe you can spray water on them like you do to kittens. :confused:
 

easygoin

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thats the tough thing about mom and dad,children will try to push you to see how far they can push you,his brother is his best buddy in the world so he will listen to him. ;)
 

Criss Colon

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Let Someone Whas Has Five Kids Answer!

First,AZB, I too agree with you,but not 100%.No need to use physical punishment.That only teaches children to respond in the same way.We have all seen those mothers sslapping their children while at the same time telling them to,"Stop Hitting Your Sister!
Physical punishment teaches children to be afraid,and consequently hide their bad behavior to avoid punishment by lying and being deceptive.Ask me,I know!!"And before anyone "starts",I am Faaaaaaaaaaaaaaar from a liberal when it comes to raising children.I believe in discipline,just not "spanking" etc.Taking away the childs "Freedom" , toys,fun things they like to do, is far more effective,humane,and teaches responsibilty,not fear!
Lesley,children ,"All over the World",may have more rights than their parents,but not here.It is still ok to use corporal punishment in the DR.Parents often "Slap,Hit,Punch,and Pinch" their kids here!
Here is the "TYPICAL" Dominican style of parenting.
First,Do Nothing",if that fails,and it always does,YELL at them,and tell them "Pow Pow"! which means that a slap is coming,maybe!Then yell some more.Then tell them to "Go outside"! Out of sight,out of mind!
Then ignore their bad behavior,fighting,screaming,etc.Anything but get up and go to the child and stop the behavior!!!!!If the child makes the mistake of wandering close enough to the parent,a slap on the head or a pinch to the back of the arm is given.But then if the child crys,start hugging and kissing the child,tell them "Ya Ya Ya",and give them something to eat or drink!!!
Dominican "Golden Rule" of Child Rearing....."Never hold a child responsible,so that they will never learn responsibility!!!!
We all can site our own "Horror Story" about Dominican children going wild,while their parents seeming are oblivious to what they are doing,here is "one" of mine.We are dining at "Vesuvio's" on the "Malecon".Two kids about 8 and ten years old,one male,one female,whole family very well dressed,leave their table to look at the large aquarium filled with many exotic fish.Now I can see that the fish tank is a "draw" to the kids,and might let my kids take a look as well.Now for the Dominican part,the kids start to push and shove eachother for the best view of the tank,then they start to yell real loud at each other,everyone in the place can hear them.They stop yelling and pick up "silverware" from an unoccupied table and begin to tap on the glass to get the fish's attencion.The fish don't respond,so they begin to really bang the $hit out of the glass!We are hoping that the glass breaks,but it is too thick,"Damn"!
The waiters are now trying to get the kids to stop,so now the kids are crying!The two parents, who have done nothing but give a few glances at the children during the whole 10 minute adventure,now find the energy to get up go over to the tank,and tell the waiters NOT to bother their children!!!!
I don't want to slap the kids,I want to SLAP the "so-called" parents!!!!!!

If you never bother to "House break" a new puppy,and as it grows older it continues to $hit and Pi$$ in the house,it is NOT the dogs fault,it is the "Masters" fault!!!!!!!
Which brings me to my habitual complaint about what is wrong with the DR.
LACK OF RESPONSIBILITY FROM THE CRADLE TO THE GRAVE!!!!!!!!
Be it personal,familial,governmental,or cultural,...
"IT IS NEVER MY/OUR FAULT!!!!!!!!!!!"
 
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Music

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Wow a stun gun a bit crazy.
My Mom threatened us with the wooden spoon or slipper back in the day lol and my Dad was the belt but he never used it on us. Times have definatly changed that's for sure but back than my Dad's evil look was enough to make me stop.
Also I wouldn't blame parents sometimes the greatest parents have a terror child so it's hard to say.
 

Marianopolita

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Dec 26, 2003
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Criss,

I hear you and when I say all over the world I will clarify then these so-called "first world nations" . I know very well about discipline all over the Caribbean as a matter of fact. You remind me of incident I witnessed a few years ago in San Juan, PR. I was on the bus and I started to look around at all the women who had small diaper-age children and every Mom had a wooden spoon sticking out of the diaper bag and at first I thought "why does every Mom have a wooden spoon" it was an essential requirement along with the diapers and finally it clicked to me it was for on the spot discipline if the child got out of hand. When I got off the bus a lady was chasing her son (about three years old) who was walking way ahead of her and everyone at the bus stop (including me who had just gotten off) was looking at the child who was about to enter into a construction site. Luckily one of workers saw the boy and blocked his entrance. The mother was so angry (she did not have her wooden spoon) she went to the nearest tree and broke off a branch and right there and then spanked her son. Yo te dije---"mam? no me pegues"--- Yo te dije.... Everyone at the bus stop congratulated her including me. Kids need to listen to their parents. Although to most this may sound cruel but sometimes you just have to do what's necessary. The flip side of this is why didn't she have control over him in the first place? I could see both sides of the issue. Discipline begins at home so children will behave outside the home.

BTW, I was happy that some discipline was given but I would not have used a branch. A good "nalgadita" woud have been sufficient.

-Lesley D-
 
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Danny W

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I have 2 grown sons. They are wonderfully respectful and always have been, and I have never hit them, nor has their mother. My Dominican girlfriend has a very well behaved 5 year old. When he misbehaves beyond a certain point, she reaches for her shoe and he immediately falls into line. I've never seen her actually hit him, but judging from his reaction, he must remember ther experience. I think kids are naturally good, and parents do a terriffic job screwing them up. If they are treated with love and respect, and if the parents take the time to explain good from bad, they will be good kids. A little whack now and then isn't the end of the world, as long as the kid knows he is loved. But if parents don't respect others, including their children, neither will the kids. - D
 

Snuffy

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It is true...dominicans do not teach responsibility. In fact, they teach to avoid it. And the problem of a child misbehaving starts very early. But, it is not only a problem in the DR...it is worldwide and it is due to a broken society which is brought on by several factors, among them population growth and the structures of our society which are oriented toward valuing the gathering of wealth at cost to everything else. We have a narrow focus on getting more money and everything else is a pheripheral item.

My brother tells me the story of a guy who works for him in the USA at Adephia. The guy comes in one day and tells that both his children are sick. But the wife has a full time career and so they keep both their children in day care...even when sick...get this...the youngest is one year old. So they are both sick...and my brother tells him...get out of here and go home and take care of your children. The guy says no...they are okay...I need to finish this project. So then he gets a call that his child is throwing up in daycare. Well, my brother tells him to go home and not to return until his children are well.

So...what does that get you. You can imagine what that teaches a child. Yet these people have plenty of money. I don't get it.

Here in the DR I see many children...rich and poor who are well behaved. Just excellent children.

We try to find a good balance with our child. We try to let her experience her freedom to roam and learn. But if I know that she knows she is doing something wrong then I discipline her. Sometime that is just talking firm to her...sometimes it escalates to putting her in her room alone for ten minutes...sometimes it is a few swats on the butt and to bed. But we try not to mislead her or lie to her or make her unnecessarily fear us.

What works for one child may not work for another. I think you have to be involved and concerned enough to find what works for each child and be flexible. And you have to distinguish between when your child is tired, hungry, or not feeling good thus possibly misbehaving....and when they are just misbehaving...there is a difference.

I am no expert....this is my first child....I hope we are doing a good job.
 

MaineGirl

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I think Danny W hit the nail on the head. If your kid knows he is loved even if you spank him, he'll still respect you. I know from experience. I was spanked three times in my life and I remember every incident, and from those three incidents I learned very valuable lessons.

I think the first one was "respect your mother and do what she says". Ok, good thing to learn. The second was when I took some kids to a dangerous piece of property. "Don't endanger the lives of others." Something about a large hole in the ground, rusty nails, I forget? Oh and the third time "Respect your mother and do what she says."

Ok, two valuable lessons...I can be stubborn.

Kids everywhere are "demasiado consentido" and have far too much power in the home. Take my niece, she is 5. (She is my Venezuelan niece.) We went shopping (her mom, grandma, and I--plus the kid). The child is adorable but she can turn on a dime. She asked me for ice cream. I said no. She asked her mom for ice cream. Nope. Grandma? Well, maybe. As soon as she had an "in" she pushed relentlessly, even going so far as to break down and cry, real wailing, in the already-long grocery line. After five minutes and no one doing anything I told her mother to take her outside, saying: "She can cry her eyes out in the parking lot but no one is going to buy her an ice cream at nine in the morning." (In fact I was paying and I knew my limits!)

So, her mother very foolishly asked Mari if she wanted to go outside. Of course the child screamed "Noooooo! I neeeeed ice cream."

I have no kids of my own but I have worked with kids of all ages, so I calmly picked her up and took her out. Then I came back and told her mother to go out there and keep her company so she doesn't get kidnapped by the FARC. With alarm she went out and watched her child who eventually got bored without an audience and moved on.

Too much power....it makes kids realllllly annoying since they don't usually make the best decisions.
 

Music

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I used to babysit two girls and they were good kids there parents didn't believe in hitting. I learned a lot from them, it was so different to see parents talking to ther kids so much and they taught them to be independant as well.
I know kids who are 5 years old and there parents still carry them around sometimes that's just too much. They spoil the child so much it's rediculous and the child is scared of everything.
They need a little independence to learn but also discipline to know what 's right from wrong.
Back in the day my parents didn't talk about stuff all the time but they made sure you knew they wer in charge and always taught you to respect others. I'd have to say they did a good job I"m a great person never got into any serious trouble.
One thing I can't stand is parents who yell at there kids, I hate that. Yelling does nothig your child will not listen to you. My Mom was a bit of a yeller at times I never listened when she yelled I'm telling you lol! It went in one ear and out the other lol.
 

Larry

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Criss Colon said:
First,AZB, I too agree with you,but not 100%.No need to use physical punishment.


Thank you CC! I do not believe in slapping children either. Nothing positive comes from it. The problem is that so many people have children without first considering the tremendous amout of responsibility that comes with being a parent. Then when it comes time to raising the child, they want to take the easy way out by not bothering to teach the child at all like the incident that AZB witnessed OR even worse, slapping him. Being a parent means having to constantly monitor your childs actions and then determining what is the best POSITIVE course of action to take based on what your child has or has not done. It means taking the time to explain......you have to remember that you are an adult and dealing with a child's mind. It means rewarding for achieving ( or just trying his/her best to achieve) and punishing for bad behavior...but never in a physical way. This teaches that there are consequences in life and helps shape the childs actions/behavior in a positive way because of his/her developing understanding of these consequences. Hitting will only make the child feel that he is a bad person who DESERVES to be hit or he will block it out because he knows the sting of the slap will be over in a second and he
can continue the destructive/irresponsible behavior that led to the slap as soon as the sting is gone. Children are just that...children...and they will act like children. If you are an adult and a child can make you lose your temper to the point where you have to hit him, then there is something wrong with you.

Larry

edited to add: the parent of the child in AZB's post should have taken him aside after the broken bottle and calmly explained that what he did was wrong and why. Then if the child went to the juice bottle and did the same thing, the parent should have then explained to the child that he was now to be punished. Over the course of time, it would begin to sink in and if it dosen't, then there is nothing the parent could do but continue trying.
 
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sjh

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now that you folks have it all figured out we should all have perfect kids right? If we stopped after our first child i would be telling all you how you just have to sit down and talk to a kid and they will listen blah blah blah....

Each kid is different and each needs to be handled differently. My oldest just has to be told that she has done something wrong and she never does it again beggs for forgiveness etc..... ooo so easy.

My second needs a spanking at least once a week. he doesnt care what you say to him, he just does as he wants. The only thing that makes him behave is to understand the consequence of his actions is punishment. sure go ahead.. just sit him down and have a good talk with him and see if it works..... hahahahhahahahshhahahahahhs choke sputter hahhahahah
put him in his room fo 10 minutes!!!! you have to be kidding.... he wouldnt care, the kid can entertain himself with just about anything. how about just restraining him? he will wear you out after an hour or two.. been there tried that. take out the belt? instant reformation. what a lovely child.....

One of many reasons i left the states was i dont need big brother telling me how to raise my kids. Here in the DR a parent can raise their kid how they think is best.
 

stewart

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sjh said:
now that you folks have it all figured out we should all have perfect kids right? If we stopped after our first child i would be telling all you how you just have to sit down and talk to a kid and they will listen blah blah blah....

Each kid is different and each needs to be handled differently. My oldest just has to be told that she has done something wrong and she never does it again beggs for forgiveness etc..... ooo so easy.

My second needs a spanking at least once a week. he doesnt care what you say to him, he just does as he wants. The only thing that makes him behave is to understand the consequence of his actions is punishment. sure go ahead.. just sit him down and have a good talk with him and see if it works..... hahahahhahahahshhahahahahhs choke sputter hahhahahah
put him in his room fo 10 minutes!!!! you have to be kidding.... he wouldnt care, the kid can entertain himself with just about anything. how about just restraining him? he will wear you out after an hour or two.. been there tried that. take out the belt? instant reformation. what a lovely child.....

One of many reasons i left the states was i dont need big brother telling me how to raise my kids. Here in the DR a parent can raise their kid how they think is best.

Amen brother!!!
 

Ken

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AZB said:
P.S: an ocean spray 1 gallon cranberry-apple juice for 464 pesos???? That is like 15 dollars for a gallon. Holly cow, the prices have gone up insanely in stores here.

I agree, AZB. My wife drinks a lot of cranberry juice so it is fortunate that the Playero in Sosua has a couple of off-brands that sell for less. My wife complains that the cheapest firments fast, but I buy it anyway. It's almost $10/gallon.

I also agree about the spoiled kids and failed parents. My experience in the DR is that Dominicans don't discipline their children, especially boys, like parents do where I come from.
 

NALs

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Jan 20, 2003
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I have to say that I agree with Colon's comment.

Besides the fact that I am Dominican and have lived much of my life here on the island, I am bothered somewhat by the way people treat their children in the moments that count!

Everybody knows that when everything is fine, nothing horrible is going to happen. However, when the child does something wrong that is when the parents need to show their best attitude towards the problem, but many simply blow up in anger and slap the kid. Not all Dominican parents do this (mine never hit me at all), but many do.

I just don't understand why its so hard to take the child, sit him or her down and explain to that child what he/she did is wrong. Make sure the child acknowledges that what he did is wrong and then, prohibit the child to see television or play with favorite toy for a specific amount of time and explain to the child why he/she is being prohibited from taking enjoyment from those toys!

The point is to make the child understand that your actions have a consequence and (my favorite quote) that there is no suchthing as something for nothing, in this world everyone get's what they paid for!

You act irresponsibly, you pay the price by losing your right to something you like to do! If you want to keep such privilidge or right, then you must act like a civilized person. Parents also should practice such thing, because whether people want it or not, kids value more actions than words.

Telling your kid to not do something you yourself constantly do is foolish.

On the other hand, telling your kid to do something you yourself are not willing to do is just as foolish.

In both cases, the child will not listen to what you said because if what you said was true, why are you doing such thing?!

Children are not stupid, its time many folks realize that.
 

AZB

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Jan 2, 2002
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sjh said:
now that you folks have it all figured out we should all have perfect kids right? If we stopped after our first child i would be telling all you how you just have to sit down and talk to a kid and they will listen blah blah blah....

Each kid is different and each needs to be handled differently. My oldest just has to be told that she has done something wrong and she never does it again beggs for forgiveness etc..... ooo so easy.

My second needs a spanking at least once a week. he doesnt care what you say to him, he just does as he wants. The only thing that makes him behave is to understand the consequence of his actions is punishment. sure go ahead.. just sit him down and have a good talk with him and see if it works..... hahahahhahahahshhahahahahhs choke sputter hahhahahah
put him in his room fo 10 minutes!!!! you have to be kidding.... he wouldnt care, the kid can entertain himself with just about anything. how about just restraining him? he will wear you out after an hour or two.. been there tried that. take out the belt? instant reformation. what a lovely child.....

One of many reasons i left the states was i dont need big brother telling me how to raise my kids. Here in the DR a parent can raise their kid how they think is best.

SJH, you hit the nail on the head. There is no single formula on how to raise a kid. Each kid is different based on his or her hormonal chemistry and characteristics. Some kids are very hyper-active and extremely aggressive and others are docile. Some will listen to what you tell them and others will need a slap here and there. I have 5 sisters and 1 older brother. They are all married and all have kids that make a group of countless kids of all ages. Some are very responsible kids who listen to you when they do something wrong and others will refuse to listen to anything you have to say, even if you beg them. Ex: as soon as the kid (nephew-american born, raised) gets off the car in pakistan, he picks up a bottle and smashes it on the wall. When he saw I was about to give him a kick on his butt, he straighen out quickly. Another nephew managed to break a glass in a fancy restaurant while slapping his younger brother. Then the same kid blew up a heavy duty firecracker in the wedding hall during ceremony. You think a good rational talk would straighten out that kid? i think not. My sister gives him a smack on his face in public and that gets his attention real fast. Same sister has a little daughter who is the sweetest kid in the world but the boys are devil. So some kids need a little kick in the butt while other just straighten out with a little yelling.
AZB
 
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