C eh N eh D eh

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trina

Silver
Jan 3, 2002
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C eh N eh D eh (CANADA)

Now that Vancouver has won the opportunity to host the 2010 Winter Olympics, these are some questions people the world over are asking.

Believe it or not these questions about Canada were posted on an International Tourism Website! (Frightening, isn't it?)

Q: I have never seen it warm on Canadian TV, so how do the plants grow? (UK)
A: We import all plants fully grown and then just sit around and watch them die.

Q: Will I be able to see Polar Bears in the street? (USA)
A: Depends how much you've been drinking.

Q: I want to walk from Vancouver to Toronto--can I follow the railroad tracks? (Sweden)
A: Sure, it's only Four thousand miles, take lots of water.

Q: Is it safe to run around in the bushes in Canada? (Sweden)
A: So it's true what they say about Swedes.

Q: It is imperative that I find the names and addresses of places to contact for a stuffed Beaver. (Italy)
A: Let's not touch this one on the other hand why not ask the first blonde Italian/Canadian woman you meet.

Q: Are there any ATMs (cash machines) in Canada? Can you send me a list of them in Toronto, Vancouver, Edmonton & Halifax? (UK)
A: Of what did your last slave die?

Q: Can you give me some information about hippo racing in Canada? (USA)
A: A-fri-ca is the big triangle shaped continent south of Europe. Ca-na-da is that big country to your North--oh forget it. Sure, the hippo racing is every Tuesday night in Calgary. Come naked.

Q: Which direction is North in Canada? (USA)
A: Face south and then turn 180 degrees Contact us when you get here and we'll send the rest of the directions.

Q: Can I bring cutlery into Canada? (UK)
A: Why? Just use your fingers like we do.

Q: Can you send me the Vienna Boys' Choir schedule? (USA)
A: Aus-tri-a is that quaint little country bordering Ger- man-y, which is... oh forget it. Sure, the Vienna Boys Choir perform every Tuesday night in Vancouver and in Calgary, straight after the hippo races. But remember you must come naked.

Q: Do you have perfume in Canada? (Germany)
A: What for, WE don't stink.

Q: I have developed a new product that is the fountain of youth. Can you tell me where I can sell it in Canada? (USA)
A: Anywhere a significant numbers of Americans gather.

Q: Can you tell me the regions in British Columbia where the female population is smaller than the male population? (Italy)
A: Yes, gay nightclubs.

Q: Do you celebrate Thanksgiving in Canada? (USA)
A: Could that be on Thanksgiving Day?

Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: I have a question about a famous animal in Canada, but I forget its name. It's a kind of big horse with horns. (USA)
A: It's called a moose. They are tall and very violent and eat the brains of anyone walking close to them. You can scare them off by spraying yourself with the essence of human urine before you go out walking.

Q: I was in Canada in 1969 on R&R, and I want to contact the girl I dated while I was staying in Surrey, BC. Can you help? (USA)
A: Yes, and you will still have to pay her by the hour.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
 
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Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
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Best bits, IMO:

trina said:
Q: Are there supermarkets in Toronto and is milk available all year round? (Germany)
A: No, we are a peaceful civilization of vegan hunter/gatherers. Milk is illegal.

Q: Will I be able to speak English most places I go? (USA)
A: Yes, but you will have to learn it first.
Click to expand...

I see they've got ricktoronto answering questions on that site too. ;)

Shouldn't be too hard to come up with our very own version for DR1.
 
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trina

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Jan 3, 2002
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I'd love to see the site, too, but I'd imagine it's just a made-up e-mail joke, like most are! But funny...
 
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Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
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"Le Canada"- "tremendo pa?s ".

Trina,

I will refrain from commenting. If these questions were true these people have no clue how ridiculous they sound. Especially our neighbors to the south. No excuses. Where do they come up with these questions?


LDG
 
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Victor Laszlo

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Aug 24, 2004
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Um, well...

Lesley D said:
Trina,

I will refrain from commenting. If these questions were true these people have no clue how ridiculous they sound. Especially our neighbors to the south. No excuses. Where do they come up with these questions?


LDG
Click to expand...
actually, I asked the one about hippo racing, but I may have gotten them confused with the big horses with horns. Hippos do have horns, don't they, or is that rhinos? Hey, are there any rhino races? That would really be cool!
 
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trina

Silver
Jan 3, 2002
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Victor Laszlo said:
actually, I asked the one about hippo racing, but I may have gotten them confused with the big horses with horns. Hippos do have horns, don't they, or is that rhinos? Hey, are there any rhino races? That would really be cool!
Click to expand...

Rhino races right after the hippo races in Calgary. What is very cool is the half-time show: the Vienna Boys Choir. Don't forget, come naked.
 
P

planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
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Too funny

I had read that when still in Canada and loved it the first time too. I also checked out the true facts on the Dominican. Thank you soooo much for shedding light on all those things I have wondered myself......LOL

I am pretty sure I can add to that list....
 
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mofi

New member
Feb 9, 2005
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Lesley D said:
Trina,

I will refrain from commenting. If these questions were true these people have no clue how ridiculous they sound. Especially our neighbors to the south. No excuses. Where do they come up with these questions?


LDG
Click to expand...
You may think some of thoes questions are dumb but my friend plays softball at a university in the states and her coach asked her if there were malls in canada!!

And on another note, You might not even have to pay to get a girl in surrey, they do you for free. (no offence if you live in surrey and don't fall under this category)
 
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Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
4,821
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Mofi my dear that' s why I think the questions are "dumb".

Enough is enough don't you think? As I said especially our neighbors to the south. It makes no sense. In some cases (border towns) Canada and the US are within five minutes distance by car.


LDG



mofi said:
You may think some of thoes questions are dumb but my friend plays softball at a university in the states and her coach asked her if there were malls in canada!!
Click to expand...
 
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Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
4,821
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Mofi,

Soy mujer.

P.D assuming that was a general comment but just in case.


mofi said:
And on another note, You might not even have to pay to get a girl in surrey, they do you for free. (no offence if you live in surrey and don't fall under this category)
Click to expand...
 
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trina

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Jan 3, 2002
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Lesley D said:
As I said especially our neighbors to the south. It makes no sense. In some cases (border towns) Canada and the US are within five minutes distance by car.
LDG
Click to expand...


Lesley, you just reminded me of a trip we took down to Montana, which of course, borders Alberta. We were seated at a restaurant in Great Falls, and the waitress asked us where we were from. We told them we were from Calgary, and she asked us how we got there. My friend Mike said with a totally straight face, "We took dog sleds to Lethbridge, ski-doos to the border, and then were able to rent a car." The waitress said, "Oh. Well, what would you like to order?" She totally believed it, so we thought we'd have some fun with her. I asked for the whale blubber. She said they don't serve that. Mike said, "polor bear steak?" Nope, said the waitress. "penguin feet?" ummmm, errrr, no..... "Well what the hell do you serve?????" She was absolutely clueless, and it really shocked me the ignorance shown towards a country which was only a couple of hours away. On another occasion, we had a waitress in Las Vegas believing I was an Interior Igloo Designer, and my friend was an Igloo Real Estate agent. Now you'd think she came into enough contact with Canadians in Las Vegas to know a little more about the country, but then again, perhaps there are a lot of Canadians who like to fool with some of our neighbors who are gullible enough to believe it.
 
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Marianopolita

Former Spanish forum Mod 2010-2021
Dec 26, 2003
4,821
766
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Trina,

Unbelievable! The worst part is some Americans are just as egocentric about their own country. Some on the east coast can't name states on the west coast and vice versa. Really in my opinion the joke is on them. You are good though because I have no time for jokes. An ignorant question is followed by an ignorant answer. That's how I deal with it now.


LDG


trina said:
Lesley, you just reminded me of a trip we took down to Montana, which of course, borders Alberta. We were seated at a restaurant in Great Falls, and the waitress asked us where we were from. We told them we were from Calgary, and she asked us how we got there. My friend Mike said with a totally straight face, "We took dog sleds to Lethbridge, ski-doos to the border, and then were able to rent a car." The waitress said, "Oh. Well, what would you like to order?" She totally believed it, so we thought we'd have some fun with her. I asked for the whale blubber. She said they don't serve that. Mike said, "polor bear steak?" Nope, said the waitress. "penguin feet?" ummmm, errrr, no..... "Well what the hell do you serve?????" She was absolutely clueless, and it really shocked me the ignorance shown towards a country which was only a couple of hours away. On another occasion, we had a waitress in Las Vegas believing I was an Interior Igloo Designer, and my friend was an Igloo Real Estate agent. Now you'd think she came into enough contact with Canadians in Las Vegas to know a little more about the country, but then again, perhaps there are a lot of Canadians who like to fool with some of our neighbors who are gullible enough to believe it.
Click to expand...
 
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mofi

New member
Feb 9, 2005
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The last part was aimed at the boys but i put it all in one post so i wouldn't need to post twice.
 
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