Why cant you be yourself?????

Jozee74 said:

Why is it that when a dominican comes to the U.S.A to work and better their lives they save up all of there hard earned money (usually after they get their Income Tax refund) to go to the Dominican Republic and act like they making big bucks spending thousands a day just to show off how they want others to think that life is easy here. When usually the ones that act like they make thousands, struggle to get by just to pay rent, buy food, and clothes.

Someone correct me if I am wrong.

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I believe it's a case of trying to show their friends and families how successful they are rather than trying to give the impression that life is easy in the US. I've been told that this is not unique to Dominicans and happens with immigrants from other countries that come to the US.

Jozee74 said:

...If your family actually knew how hard of a struggle you put up with in the U.S. they wouldnt be calling you all the time asking for a ridiculous amount of money.

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Yes they would.

This applies to many Caribbean immigrants

Jozee74,

What you described is an example of poverty culture mentality at its best. Not only among Dominicans but among many immigrants from the Caribbean. I think it's also attributed to their financial situation when they left the DR. Mostly likely they were getting by in the DR and then having to struggle in a foreign land is not easy to accept. Especially if they came on a false ideal in the first place. So instead of being humble as you said they try to be ostentatious with their false sense of wealth. But ask them where they live, how many jobs they have and how much debt they owe. Yes, I agree with you it's truly annoying.


LDG.

Lesley D said:

Jozee74,

What you described is an example of poverty culture mentality at its best. Not only among Dominicans but among many immigrants from the Caribbean. I think it's also attributed to their financial situation when they left the DR. Mostly likely they were getting by in the DR and then having to struggle in a foreign land is not easy to accept. Especially if they came on a false ideal in the first place. So instead of being humble as you said they try to be ostentatious with their false sense of wealth. But ask them where they live, how many jobs they have and how much debt they owe. Yes, I agree with you it's truly annoying.


LDG.

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Agree. But this behaviour is old as the street and seen many times in history as well as all over the world. For the US it might be Dominicans or other Caribbean nationalities. Go to Scandinavia it is Russians and Baltic nationalities, elsewhere it is others...

It is just a part of us humans, and not the best one.

Jozee74 said:

...If your family actually knew how hard of a struggle you put up with in the U.S. they wouldnt be calling you all the time asking for a ridiculous amount of money.

Yes they would.

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rellosk said:

Yes they would.

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The thing is...untill they live in another country they do not understand the concept of us struggling to get by. They compare what we make to what they can make, and do not understand the fact that we don't have lots of money to spend based on that.

I have a friend in Germany married to a Domincan, and the mother knows that they are working looong hard hours, and that they have lots of bills to pay..but she also knows how much money they are making and gets very upset if they will not send her what she wants.

I believe Simpson Homer has commented on that before too, how it's hard for a Dominican to understand untill they come here that you can be making "so much", and not have a bunch to spend.

But in a way I understand them wanting to show off when they go back. It's like when you run into old friends you haven't seen for years..don't most of us naturally want to play up how we are doing and how great things are going for us??

PeachezNcream84 said:

But in a way I understand them wanting to show off when they go back. It's like when you run into old friends you haven't seen for years..don't most of us naturally want to play up how we are doing and how great things are going for us??

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Its a human behavior. It is not a domincan behavior or a carribean behavior.
People naturally want to show off things they know other people don't have. How they got it doesn't matter.

We all do it in some form or fashion. Heck the tourist in DR or the Gringos that live in DR do it. Anything to give the impression that you have more money than you really have. If you do have it, then you have to buy something to show to everyone how much you really have. Its all attitude. Basically everybody has an attitude problem if you ask me.

Having travelled to many different latin american countries I would say that it is worse in the DR for some reason. I never felt that I stood out so much until I went to the DR. And when I tell people I'm from NYC? Forget about it.

Dominicans going home seem to make a point of not only bringing stuff(and lots of it) that many in their home communities don't have but they are so ostentatious about it. Overdressing, too much make-up, way too much jewelery and tons of luggage. So to a degree I agree with the thread because I have seen it and have compared it to my experiences going to other places. But it's only an opinion.

when immigrants return to their native lands after spending some time in the country where the streets are supposedly "paved with gold"..it's kind of hard for them to admit that they do the "paving"...

paddy said:

when immigrants return to their native lands after spending some time in the country where the streets are supposedly "paved with gold"..it's kind of hard for them to admit that they do the "paving"...

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Wow! Honestly..that was a very good comment. Very true...it makes you think.

Well said and worded.

I can't comment so much for how people from other contries are...but I do know Dominicans who are back for a vist do like to show off what they had.

This NY family who was back in the DR was there for a few months..about 10 of them back from NY were going around to every resort they could fit in while they were there...1 resort per night or 2 to try them all out..they went to most of the ones in Punta Cana...and were working through all the ones in Playa Dorada Complex. They also made a point to tell that to every worker there who would listen. The younger guys int eh family were wearing their "bling bling" big sparkley chains with diamons etc. even in the pool....BIG "diamond" rings...etc....You shoulda seen how the girls got dressed up for the evening supper buffet...you would think it was the Oscars or something!!!!!!!!!!!!!And I know Dominicanas like to always look good..but this was a bit excessive...

I agree...with poster.

I believe the native Dominican's actually enjoy this, it has become part of the Dominican dream, when I travel there I go there trying to be myself, but in the capital Santo Dominigo this is very difficult.

If I walk in shorts, T-shirts, or flip flops, to the Super market I get that look like he is not from here, so why does he dress like that! and in the street, I stick out like a sore thumb, and when they find out I'm from the states I am highly critisized for not wearing GQ gear, and jewelry everywhere, the local tigeras want to see bling :nervous: just to see if you are rolling in dollars, and also availiable for those (potential travel oppurtunities)

It's part of the human condition.....

But it's worse with Dominicans that live in the Northeast US or in the Netherlands. I was taught to not brag about the things I have because they can disappear in a minute. Not to say that there aren't success stories out because there are, but there is no need to flash in my mind. There have been times that I'm on a flight to DR and would just observe the people getting on and all the jewelry and expensive (but ugly) clothing that they wear only to have to come back to the States and work for another whole year to do it over again. It's masochistic in a sense. I can talk all day about the money I'm making during this deployment but what would that do for me? Nothing, although I'm not gonna starve for a long time

Even down there, I remember one time that I went out with some of my friends to one of the trendier clubs in Sto Dgo and one of them said "you gotta put the big bills on the outside and the little bills in the middle of the wallet so when you pay your tab they see the big bills first" and I just laughed at him. Not only is it bragging, but if someone felt like pickpocketing you, they would already have an incentive to take your cash after seeing what you have. So it's not confined to Dominicans in NYC or Providence or outside of the DR. I sure would love for the people of the DR to have a change in mentality but it won't help if they keep believing the images they see on TV or the phone calls from their NYC relatives telling them that there are $5 dollar bills floating in the air or the drug dealers that buy those expensive vehicles and drive around El Monumento in Santiago...........I can't even say anything anymore, it pisses me off.

It's behaviour exhibited by all immigrants all over the world who have made it to the land of milk and honey.. once back for a visist it is both expected and they are complying with it..

This is actually a reason why a lot of immigrants take little to no trips back home.. they are expected to shell out a lot of dought that they don't necessarily have or be labeled a failure in the eyes of the people back home..

It's all about keeping up with the Jones as well.. so and so has a son in Neuva Yoll.. look what he bought his mom... why don't you?

This behaviour is common amongst Russians, Africans, and Carribean immigrants..

My father left Germany for the US when he was 18 years old and when he returned a few years later, everybody expected him to 'be rich' and to 'have it made.' He said he was quite embarrassed at the time.

People in other countries expect you to strike it big in the US and thats how you will act, according to their expectations.

Remember the Disney (? ) cartoon movie Fievel goes west?
They emigrated to America, and on the ship the mouse told them about America and how the streets were actually made of cheese there...

I wrote it before, and do it again, this is all human behaviour, a behaviour old as the street, found in all aspects in history, and is common all over the world for emigrants from poorer countries. In Scandinavia, where I lived before the absolute same behaviour was among Russians, from the Baltic countries, from Poland etc etc.

If we look in history, how many emigrants to the US ( millions of Scandinavians emigrated 1850-1920 ca ) did not write home or visit their motherlands, as winners... as the ones who made it... never mentioning a word about the struggle, about the hard life...

paddy said:

when immigrants return to their native lands after spending some time in the country where the streets are supposedly "paved with gold"..it's kind of hard for them to admit that they do the "paving"...

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Very clever.

why cant u b yourself

I used to live there when there was no turist in purto plata. I was the only one that spoke english. I married a man from there I met in las vegas . I have2 children by him. He comes here every year for 6 months to make money and bring it down there. Child suppport? Never got a penny. He's on a green card and no one would ever help me here in the states. So I have decide to take matters into my own hands. He owns lots of condos down there and im going the 6th of sept to get one. Or he wont come back here again. But this is not just carrabean people. Costa rica is full of american and Europian people with there money there. The money helps the econamy.
I love the dom. people . There hearts are full , and yes poverty had been so bad I had seen mothers burry thee babies in Inbeir because they could not feeed them. So wouldn't you want more?
These people are so strong and loving and limpio. I would love to spend my last days there, god willing.
Hopefully I will find my girls family when im there.
If any one is intrested in meeting a new freind . ill be at the sun village the 6th . I'm traviling by myself. clauida

calbano said:

I used to live there when there was no turist in purto plata. I was the only one that spoke english. I married a man from there I met in las vegas . I have2 children by him. He comes here every year for 6 months to make money and bring it down there. Child suppport? Never got a penny. He's on a green card and no one would ever help me here in the states. So I have decide to take matters into my own hands. He owns lots of condos down there and im going the 6th of sept to get one. Or he wont come back here again. But this is not just carrabean people. Costa rica is full of american and Europian people with there money there. The money helps the econamy.

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Are you just venting or are you trying to make a point relevant to this thread? :nervous:

They just don't know

I have resorted to the fact that my Dominican family and friends in the Dominican Republic just don't comprehend that life can also be tough in the United States. Why? Because even though I am swamped with several mortgages, astronomical taxes and management costs of my properties as well as other costs of life they see me keep coming down there with pockets full of money. I mean, it is staggering! I have friends and family that are educated and have (in Dominican terms) very good jobs as teachers, lawyers and business people. But, when they tell me that they are living on 400-600 dollars a month (which is considered to be very good money in the DR) I cringe. But relatively speaking we in the states and Europe also have our problems! However, when you try to tell them that you have to pay that $1,000 monthly oil bill to provide something that they get for free (heat) they just shrug and say "oh" and then go on telling you about their problems. It's not that they do not care, they just don't comprehend!