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  1. #1
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    Default Relocating Dominican Children

    After living in the DR for a while, I got engaged to and married a Dominican. Eventually we relocated to Canada and brought my two step-children with us. They have been here a few years now, and my stepson has adapted well and is thriving. His sister, however, is a different story. She has not adapted well, and her behavior is not only unsatisfactory, but destroying our family.

    She is an incorrigible liar, she steals, is consistently disobedient and disrespectful, and refuses to do her homework or otherwise participate in school. She has been to counseling to no avail. I am repeatedly told by my spouse that this is typical behavior for a child in the DR, and of course, I reply that it is not typical nor acceptable here. She is still prepubescent... without effective intervention, I am afraid of how much worse it might get when she becomes a teenager?

    My question: has anyone else experienced this kind of behavior in a Dominican child who has been relocated? What things have you done to resolve the issue?

  2. #2
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    Gero..Do your step-children get to travel to DR to see their mother/father or your spouse relatives ?

  3. #3
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    Default We have similar issues with one of ours...

    We have similar issues with one of ours. I am sure that we will eventually get it worked out, but for now it creates a lot of stress.

    I don't think that it is typical behavior there or here, but I have observed that little girls are given more latitude in the DR than little boys.
    Last edited by DianaC; 08-19-2005 at 12:31 PM.

  4. #4
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    Default delete

    changed my mind

  5. #5
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    Default Move this thread to LIVING, please ANNA....

    First off, the young lady probably needs some "tough love" ...

    By prepubescent you mean she is 10,11,12???

    Has she been checked for a learning disability? Her eyes are in good shape? Is she in any way less loved and adored than her brother??
    I don't really like all this ADD stuff, but I really am OLD school: "Reading and writing and 'rithmatic, taught to the tune of a hickory stick...."

    However, this sort of behavoir is NOT considered to be anything close to normal in decent DR homes. No family of medium stature would tolerate this, and many, many of the low income families would be very tough on this sort of attitude if they were trying to get her educated.

    If you want, send her to me, we need a new maid.

    HB

  6. #6
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    It certainly isn't normal behavior for Dominican children. If my wife has a child like that in her school if the parents and teachers cant straighten them out in short order, they are out. It sounds like, you and your wife aren't on the same page. You both have to agree on an approach to the problem and then be consistant with what ever you decide.

  7. #7
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    Default Yes and no

    She is younger (8), she is on the waiting list to be tested, but ADD doesn't really fit with her "symptoms". She is more likely ODD... yeah, it's new... Oppositional Difiant Disorder.

    Have tried the tough love thing... she doesn;t really care about antthing or react to removal of priviledges, puncishment, etc.

    Sorry, not a great maid either...

  8. #8
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    Default Eight years old

    and with an older brother getting all of the attention?

    Seems like a cry to be noticed...anyway she can pull it off....

    Do go on with the checking and testing..

    HB

  9. #9
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    Quote Originally Posted by contasm
    Gero..Do your step-children get to travel to DR to see their mother/father or your spouse relatives ?
    Yes, they have been back every summer. This year, we might all go at Christmas.

  10. #10
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    Quote Originally Posted by bob saunders
    It certainly isn't normal behavior for Dominican children. If my wife has a child like that in her school if the parents and teachers cant straighten them out in short order, they are out. It sounds like, you and your wife aren't on the same page. You both have to agree on an approach to the problem and then be consistant with what ever you decide.
    I agree that part of the problem is consistency. Another part of the problem is that my wife is stricter with the boy and lets the girl get away with (almost) murder. She can do no wrong in her mother's eyes. The boy can (almost) do no right. When I try to discipline the girl, I am being "unfair".

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