widower playing golf

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paddy

Silver
Oct 4, 2003
3,682
150
0
A man and a friend are playing golf one day at their local golf course. One of the guys is about to chip onto the green when he sees a long funeral procession on the road next to the course. He stops in mid-swing, takes off his golf cap, closes his eys, and bows down in prayer. His friend says, "Wow, that is the most thoughtful and touching thing I have ever seen. You truly are a kind man." The man then replies, "Yeah, well we were married 35 years."
 
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rellosk

Silver
Mar 18, 2002
4,169
58
48
On a similar note:

Four married guys go golfing on Sunday. During the 3rd hole the following
conversation ensued:

FIRST GUY: "Man, you have no idea what I had to do to be able to come out
golfing this weekend. I had to promise my wife that I will paint every room
in the house next weekend."

SECOND GUY: "That's nothing, I had to promise my wife that I will build her
a new deck for the pool."

THIRD GUY: "Man, you both have it easy! I had to promise my wife that I will
remodel the kitchen for her."
They continue to play the hole when they realized that the fourth guy has
not said a word. So they ask him. "You haven't said anything about what you
had to do to be able to come golfing this weekend. What's the deal?"

FOURTH GUY: "That's easy! I just set my alarm for 5:30am. When it goes off,
I shut off my alarm, give the wife a poke... 'Golf Course or Intercourse?'
'Wear your sweater.'"
 
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rellosk

Silver
Mar 18, 2002
4,169
58
48
A guy out on the golf course takes a high speed ball right in the crotch. Writhing in agony, he falls to the ground. He finally gets himself to the doctor.

He says, "How bad is it doc? I'm going on my honeymoon next week and my fianc?e is still a virgin in every way."

The doc said , "I'll have to put your penis in a splint to let it heal and keep it straight. It should be okay next week." So he took four tongue depressors and formed a neat little 4-sided bandage and wired it all together. It was an impressive work of art.

The guy mentions none of this to his girlfriend. They marry and on their honeymoon night in the motel room, she rips open her blouse to reveal a gorgeous set of breasts. This was the first time he'd ever seen them.

She says, "You are the first, no one has ever touched these breasts. "

He pulls down his pants, whips it out and says, "And look at this, it's still in the CRATE!"
 
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ricktoronto

Grande Pollo en Boca Chica
Jan 9, 2002
4,837
0
0
A man and wife on their honeymoon and go to a nude beach. Well not enough sunscreen gets "willy" a lot sunburned. So they retire to their room and he goes to the kitchen and fills a glass of milk to insert and cool the burned member.

His new wife comes in the kitchen and sees this. She says, "I always wondered how you load that thing".
 
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