Girlfriends can help each other out

azuacanadagirl

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Jan 24, 2005
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Just something you girls who are dating guys working at resorts should think about doing while on vacation in paradise.

Almost a year has gone by since I met Norberto in Punta Cana. Although I had caught him lying to me before about his affairs with tourists, I told myself well these things had gone on before we were really serious about each other and I did not eject him from my life cause he kept on calling and calling and calling when I had tried to.

Well, thanks to the advice of people here, I have never sent a dime. He had only asked once in the beginning and I didn't blame him for trying, after all they are poor, RIGHT. I told myself what the heck, he is the one calling (he lost his cellphone so I cannot call???? I know RED FLAG). I tell myself, I have a friend in DR and when I go down there I can always have FUN. So for months we are in contact about two times a week.

Last month I tell him I have a girlfriend whom I see here everyday who is going down there to the club he works at in september. All of a sudden, last Friday sept. 9th, he has two weeks vacation and gives me a two day notice begging me to come down and wants us to be married so we can be together as soon as possible.

I got all wishywashy and got to wonder again... Am I being too hard on this guy? Could he really after all this time have feelings for me since he is not asking money and he has been spending money all this time to call me and all?

Well, here is where I really appreciate having met Patricia a barmaid working at the hotel. I had given her gifts, clothing and toys for her children. And had taken her phone number of course. I decide to give her a call to see how things are doing and to investigate a bit. I ask her about Norberto and if she see's him sometimes. She says yes, he gives me news about you and I even asked him for your phone number about a month ago and he took out his cellphone to look it up and give it to her. (the cell phone he lost). She tells me "el te quiere mucho" until.... I tell her about his proposal for marriage. She says you know you are like a sister to me and I don't want you to get hurt. when you left in January he immediately had a girl from Argentina and promises to investigate a bit more for me.

The next day.... I get her on the phone and she announces me, he has a girlfriend from France who is working at the hotel for six months and she will be leaving in two weeks. I am so angry now, not that he has a girlfriend, just that he is so much of a LOW LIFE that he asked me to marry him. He was probably soooo afraid that my girlfriend going down there would find this out that he skipped town before she got there.

Well I called him (on his friends cell phone) and confronted him with this, he says he knows this girl from France that she is in love with him but he is not. He loves me and ONLY ME. Yeah right! I didn't tell him I got the info from Patricia, she could be in trouble for this with her fellow co-workers. Just told him my girlfriend had investigated a bit. Thing is my girlfriend is still here leaving only on the 25th, but he did not know the exact dates.

I asked him do you mind if I call this French girl to verify this story. He kept answering me please come down, I need to see you face to face. I kept telling him if she is not your girlfriend you should not mind. If you want to be with her, I will respect you and I will not call. He finally told me to call. I did. What a coincidence??? She is on vacation.

Anyway, I could go on and on about all the excuses he had or all the phone calls he is making here this week but that was not my point starting this thread. Just wanted to say that the friendship I have developped with Patricia has been of great help here. She is a wonderful girl and if I ever go down there again, I will always have a friend in DR.

FRIENDSHIP IS FOREVER
 

Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
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Dear Azua,

I wish I could say I am happy that you are finished with this guy but I don't think that you are. If appears that this guy can do anything to you, lie to you, disrespect you, use you, have you make a fool of yourself calling strangers to check on his lies, and yet he still has your heart.

I sincerely mean it when I say that I hope he doesn't hurt you too much in the end.
Take care,
Nelly
 

project9

New member
May 29, 2004
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Way to go! it only took you a full year to understand what everyone told you since the begining ...
 

princess86

New member
Sep 4, 2005
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sorry to hear your story.... at least you found a good friend out of the horrible situation :nervous: take care x


Anyway, I could go on and on about all the excuses he had or all the phone calls he is making here this week but that was not my point starting this thread. Just wanted to say that the friendship I have developped with Patricia has been of great help here. She is a wonderful girl and if I ever go down there again, I will always have a friend in DR.

FRIENDSHIP IS FOREVER[/QUOTE]
 

RHM

Doctor of Diplomacy
Sep 23, 2002
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www.thecandidacy.com
azuacanadagirl

Go back into your post...edit it and take out any real names and locations. No need to get anyone into trouble.

Just some advice.

Scandall
 

azuacanadagirl

New member
Jan 24, 2005
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about the names

At first I had written the hotel name but took it out and I also changed the names of the people concerned precisely because I didn't want to get anyone in trouble, especially my girlfriend.
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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A few ?'s!

azuacanadagirl said:
Just something you girls who are dating guys working at resorts should think about doing while on vacation in paradise.

Almost a year has gone by since I met Norberto in Punta Cana. Although I had caught him lying to me before about his affairs with tourists, I told myself well these things had gone on before we were really serious about each other and I did not eject him from my life cause he kept on calling and calling and calling when I had tried to.

Well, thanks to the advice of people here, I have never sent a dime. He had only asked once in the beginning and I didn't blame him for trying, after all they are poor, RIGHT. I told myself what the heck, he is the one calling (he lost his cellphone so I cannot call???? I know RED FLAG). I tell myself, I have a friend in DR and when I go down there I can always have FUN. So for months we are in contact about two times a week.

Last month I tell him I have a girlfriend whom I see here everyday who is going down there to the club he works at in september. All of a sudden, last Friday sept. 9th, he has two weeks vacation and gives me a two day notice begging me to come down and wants us to be married so we can be together as soon as possible.

I got all wishywashy and got to wonder again... Am I being too hard on this guy? Could he really after all this time have feelings for me since he is not asking money and he has been spending money all this time to call me and all?

Well, here is where I really appreciate having met Patricia a barmaid working at the hotel. I had given her gifts, clothing and toys for her children. And had taken her phone number of course. I decide to give her a call to see how things are doing and to investigate a bit. I ask her about Norberto and if she see's him sometimes. She says yes, he gives me news about you and I even asked him for your phone number about a month ago and he took out his cellphone to look it up and give it to her. (the cell phone he lost). She tells me "el te quiere mucho" until.... I tell her about his proposal for marriage. She says you know you are like a sister to me and I don't want you to get hurt. when you left in January he immediately had a girl from Argentina and promises to investigate a bit more for me.

The next day.... I get her on the phone and she announces me, he has a girlfriend from France who is working at the hotel for six months and she will be leaving in two weeks. I am so angry now, not that he has a girlfriend, just that he is so much of a LOW LIFE that he asked me to marry him. He was probably soooo afraid that my girlfriend going down there would find this out that he skipped town before she got there.

Well I called him (on his friends cell phone) and confronted him with this, he says he knows this girl from France that she is in love with him but he is not. He loves me and ONLY ME. Yeah right! I didn't tell him I got the info from Patricia, she could be in trouble for this with her fellow co-workers. Just told him my girlfriend had investigated a bit. Thing is my girlfriend is still here leaving only on the 25th, but he did not know the exact dates.

I asked him do you mind if I call this French girl to verify this story. He kept answering me please come down, I need to see you face to face. I kept telling him if she is not your girlfriend you should not mind. If you want to be with her, I will respect you and I will not call. He finally told me to call. I did. What a coincidence??? She is on vacation.

Anyway, I could go on and on about all the excuses he had or all the phone calls he is making here this week but that was not my point starting this thread. Just wanted to say that the friendship I have developped with Patricia has been of great help here. She is a wonderful girl and if I ever go down there again, I will always have a friend in DR.

FRIENDSHIP IS FOREVER
Can I ask you a few questions?. Ok, here I go:.

1- Is this the same guy you met from December 5th to the 12th?

2- Is this the same guy you went to see again 3 weeks after meeting him?

3- Is this the same guy you started a thread tittled: "Sankie got caught rapido"?

4- Is this the same guy that you had his email address password and you saw that he was sending emails to girls in Spain and France?

5- Is this the same guy that your knew that by reading his emails, that he had spent the holidays with with one of those girls whom was going to see him again in April?.

6- Are you telling us that after so many of us gave you some advices back then, that you still stayed with him?.

Seriously, for someone that do not cared much for this man, you sure take a lot of crap from him. He has been sending you, not red flags, BUT RED SUBMARINES, and you still could not stay away from him.

You did not needed "Patricia" to tell you what HE, HIMSELF, HAS BEEN TELLING YOU FOR ALMOST A YEAR: THAT HE IS A SANKIE AND THAT YOU WOULD TAKE HIM BACK NO MATTER HOW MANY RED FLAGS HE SENDS YOUR WAY!!.

Back, when you posted your thread about him getting caught, I congratulated you for catching him but many here thought that it would be the end of him. We were wrong!!.

Now I wish you good luck and I can honestly tell you that the two of you deserve each other.

Btw, whenever you are ready to "let him go", you may want to change your nickname, you know, the one that you have because he is from Azua!.
 

jruane44

Bronze
Jul 2, 2004
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A, A
That was more than a few questions. Why do I get this funny feeling she's not done with this creep yet?
 

Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
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Your instincts are good...

because she not done with the creep, which is all rather depressing, if you ask me. I don't beleive that the post was about friendship at all. This guy has a serious hold on our Azua, and its so sad because she seems like a very smart and loving person. This guy can do nothing wrong, and he knows it. To the extent that he doesn't even let her have his cell number! (You all know what that means.) Yet, she can't let him go. He has this hold on her heart. Maybe it is the begging her forgiveness time and time again, that makes her feel special, more special than the other women. Who knows. I wonder what he will have to do to her to get her to see the light and make a clean break. What will it take? How bad will it have to be? Only time will tell, but I have a feeling it won't be a happy ending.
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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Indeed!

Nelly said:
because she not done with the creep, which is all rather depressing, if you ask me. I don't beleive that the post was about friendship at all. This guy has a serious hold on our Azua, and its so sad because she seems like a very smart and loving person. This guy can do nothing wrong, and he knows it. To the extent that he doesn't even let her have his cell number! (You all know what that means.) Yet, she can't let him go. He has this hold on her heart. Maybe it is the begging her forgiveness time and time again, that makes her feel special, more special than the other women. Who knows. I wonder what he will have to do to her to get her to see the light and make a clean break. What will it take? How bad will it have to be? Only time will tell, but I have a feeling it won't be a happy ending.
I tried to say on my previous post that her thread had nothing to do with "Patricia". She already knew what Patricia told her. She said all herself on her thread, back almost a year ago. She knew that he was lying and bedding other girls.

I am with you, this WILL end very badly.

This is why I blow my top sometime. I mean, MANY of us gave her advices, left and right, when started her other thread. SOME of us were happy for her and congratulated her because we thought that the sankie was going to be "gone". Now, it goes back to what I always say:

YOU GET WHAT YOU DESERVE!!. I just hope that her kids (the ones that she took to the DR when she met him) are not witnesses to all this fricking DRAMA!.

Someday she will learn that there are other things in the DR that are much better than a fricking sankie!!.

Ps: it's beyond my beliefs what a few phone calls can make a person become!!. Truly amazing!!.
 

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
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She is spending alot of time and money-but for what? To find out that she is being played? Is this what she goes on vacation for, to look for drama that she could easily find back home?
He's not hurting her-she is hurting herself. Poor people who can't wait to leave that island cannot really be faulted for trying to take advantage of any situation to get out or get over. We all know this. So why go over there and expect love? What's wrong with just a good time? Why is this never enough for some of you?
And I got news for all of you-that little friend of hers who is ratting out her fellow co-worker is not her friend. My experience is that these low-paid resort workers and anyone else making their money interacting with tourists will do anything to stab each other in the back. Thats' not a friend. A friend would give her advice but not act like a stoolie.
 

Nelly

Bronze
Jan 1, 2002
614
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please, dont make this about poor people ...

Poor people are not sankies aka con artists. You cannot justify anyone lying, conning, defrauding, stealing, etc. from innocent people just because they seek a better life. That's BS. It just too bad for Azua that she has fallen into the trap that has been laid out for her, for whatever reason.
 

azuacanadagirl

New member
Jan 24, 2005
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Just clearing things up here

I don't know what people here may think. But there was no way in hell that I was going to marry the guy even if I got a little wishy washy when he mentionned it. I just hate being lied to and that's why I verified with my girlfriend over there, just so I could say to him... "hey, I am not that stupid". I guess I wanted to get to the bottom of things, don't ask me why, I don't know.

I have not traumatized my children with this, they could care less. We are going on with our lives here very normally, we've been on a few vacations since... but not in DR.

I just wanted to point out to others that will eventually have affairs with dominican resort workers and that will be had by the lies and all, that it's always nice to have someone down there who could help us out before taking bad decisions for ourselves. Don't worry about this girl "Patricia", she had her motives, since she is hung up on my best friend whom I was on vacation with.

I could have gone back to see him plenty of times, since I have the money to do so and own my business, so I can take vacations whenever I want but I haven't done that. The fact that I have answered his calls does not mean that "I am still with the guy"... whatever that would mean since he lives thousands of miles away.

He did have my heart at one time BIG TIME. But I HAVE taken everyone's advice.

Thanks anyway
 

azuacanadagirl

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Jan 24, 2005
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questions answered

Numbers one through five.... yes to all of the above

Of course, it's the same guy, I didn't go to the DR often enough to meet others and God knows I don't ever want to meet someone wherever on vacation again in my life.

And for number six...... no.

Like I said, whatever staying with him would mean, since he lives thousands of miles away. I have only been talking on the phone with him... thought it was interesting, that's all. I can't even count the amount of times he called and that I looked at the caller ID, noticed it was him and didn't answer cause I just didn't feel like talking to him at that time.

Also, I am sure that if ever I was to visit DR again and that I would be in any sort of trouble, he would help me out. He is a typical Dominican macho... and could never be faithful... he is not a monster, just a liar, like many many many of them working in resorts.
 
Sep 19, 2005
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I really dont see anything enlightening here...The DR doesnt have an exclusive on people working resort type jobs to get action with the opposite sex... it happens in Bars, tennis clubs, boat clubs, and places like them all over the world..... no matter who you meet , or where they work, they could lie to you, or be the last one you ever fall in love with...if you love him enough youll put up with his stuff.... maybe you'll turn him around( maybe youll hit the lottery)..i doubt it, but "things" happen... or the balance of give and take, will fall to the side of leaving him for good.. you would think that each person who works at these resorts would eventually find their mr-mrs right... and settle with them....EVENTUALLY.. ha ha ha ha.....good luck...bob
 

mofi

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Feb 9, 2005
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azuacanadagirl said:
I don't know what people here may think. But there was no way in hell that I was going to marry the guy even if I got a little wishy washy when he mentionned it. I just hate being lied to and that's why I verified with my girlfriend over there, just so I could say to him... "hey, I am not that stupid". I guess I wanted to get to the bottom of things, don't ask me why, I don't know.

I guess my question is, were you trying to get him to admit that he had done these things that you were told by your friend? Because, first of all no sankie will ever admit, you could catch him red handed and he would still make up some bullsh*t story, he will never admit that he cheated or lied, so you might as well stop now because you are wasting your time. 2nd, he probabley already thinks you are stupid for believe the lies he has been feeding you, so now trying to make yourself appear less stupid is stupid in itself......Not that I am saying you are stupid, but from his point of view.
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
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Ay DIos de la vida!!!

azuacanadagirl said:
Numbers one through five.... yes to all of the above

Of course, it's the same guy, I didn't go to the DR often enough to meet others and God knows I don't ever want to meet someone wherever on vacation again in my life.

And for number six...... no.
If my questions 1 though 5 are correct, then you did not needed "Patricia" to tell you that he was seeing other girls, you found out yourself when you read his emails.

If question number 6 is a "no" that means that you are not with him so why are you asking "Patricia" for information about him and telling him that your girlfriend was going over there, as in trying to catch in on a lie?. What do you care if you are not with him?.

Just let it go!.

Btw, just because a person makes a few calls does not, automatically, mean that the person cares about you.
 

shadInToronto

On Vacation....
Nov 16, 2003
1,988
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Sankie lovers are illogical

miguel said:
If my questions 1 though 5 are correct, then you did not needed "Patricia" to tell you that he was seeing other girls, you found out yourself when you read his emails.

If question number 6 is a "no" that means that you are not with him so why are you asking "Patricia" for information about him and telling him that your girlfriend was going over there, as in trying to catch in on a lie?. What do you care if you are not with him?.

Just let it go!.

Btw, just because a person makes a few calls does not, automatically, mean that the person cares about you.
Miguel, I know you're a logical thinker but, you ought to know better than to logically analyze responses from a sankie lover. The whole premise of someone thinking that they can develop a long lasting relationship with a sankie is illogical so, it's futile to discuss this topic in a rational manner. :speechles
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
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I know!!

shadInToronto said:
Miguel, I know you're a logical thinker but, you ought to know better than to logically analyze responses from a sankie lover. The whole premise of someone thinking that they can develop a long lasting relationship with a sankie is illogical so, it's futile to discuss this topic in a rational manner. :speechles
I know what you are saying!!.

It's just that sometimes, rather than strangle some of these people, I would like to get into their heads and say "listen dummy, he is not for you. How many times does he needs to throw you red flags in order you you to understand that he is bedding more girls that you can count".

MOST of them seem to think that just because a person makes a few calls, that they are "sooooo into them".

When are SOME of these people going to understand that when a SOME men wants something, he would go to any length in order to get it, even if that means standing on his d*** and doing push-ups with it!!.

Some of these people need Cher to do to them what she did to Nicola Cage in Moonstruck(I believe), you know, give them a big slap on the face and tell them "SNAP OUT OF IT!!!!!!".

But I am a true believer in people finding their self-pride and self-respect again.

shad, this is exactly what I mean when I say that I have no patience for people when after finding out that their "love" is a sankie, they still have hopes of being with them or give them the benefit of the doubt. Some learn and leave them and some are SOOOO desperate that they get blinded by all the "red flags" thrown at them, I guess.

Is lovemaking so important that it would make SOME people forget about their values, morals, self-respect and pride?.
 
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