Some good hillbilly advice

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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An Old Farmer?s Advice



Your fences need to be horse-high, pig-tight and bull-strong

Keep skunks and bankers and lawyers at a distance

Life is simpler when you plow around the stump

A bumble bee is considerably faster than a John Deere tractor

Words that soak into your ears are whispered - not yelled

Meanness don't jes' happen overnight

Forgive your enemies. It messes up their heads

Do not corner something that you know is meaner than you

It don't take a very big person to carry a grudge

You cannot unsay a cruel word

Every path has a few puddles

When you wallow with pigs, expect to get dirty

The best sermons are lived, not preached

Most of the stuff people worry about ain't never gonna happen anyway

Don't judge folks by their relatives

Remember that silence is sometimes the best answer

Live a good, honorable life. Then when you get older and think back, you'll enjoy it a second time

Don't interfere with somethin' that ain't botherin' you none

Timing has a lot to do with the outcome of a rain dance

If you find yourself in a hole, the first thing to do is stop diggin'

Sometimes you get, and sometimes you get got

The biggest troublemaker you'll probably ever have to deal with, watches you from the mirror every mornin'

Always drink upstream from the herd

Good judgment comes from experience, and a lotta that comes from bad judgment

Lettin' the cat outta the bag is a whole lot easier than puttin' it back in

If you get to thinkin' you're a person of some influence, try orderin' somebody else's dog around



Live simply - Love generously - Care deeply - Speak kindly



:D:D:D

HB
 

carina

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Mar 13, 2005
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Thanks HB...A good start of the morning to read!!
Are you trying to be nominated at Poster of 2005????
 

jackquontee

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May 20, 2005
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I've always appreciated the one liners. I find that they speak volumes, unlike some folks who speak volumes and, yet, say nothing.
 

Teacher

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Nov 27, 2004
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Wonderful HB. I too am offering this to my 125 students tomorrow, the last Monday of October.
 
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Teacher

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Nov 27, 2004
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Wonderful HB. I too am offering this to my 125 students tomorrow,the last Monday of October.
 

Mirador

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Apr 15, 2004
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more good corny hillbilly advise...

Thoughts For Those Who Take Life Too Seriously

1. Change is inevitable, except from vending machines.
2. A day without sunshine is like, night
3. On the other hand, you have different fingers.
4. I just got lost in thought. It wasn't familiar territory.
5. 42.7 percent of all statistics are made up on the spot.
6. 99 percent of lawyers give the rest a bad name.
7. I feel like I'm diagonally parked in a parallel universe.
8. Honk if you love peace and quiet.
9. Remember, half the people you know are below average.
10. He who laughs last, thinks slowest.
11. Depression is merely anger without enthusiasm.
12. The early bird may get the worm, but the second mouse gets the cheese in the trap.
13 I drive way too fast to worry about cholesterol.
14. Support bacteria. They're the only culture some people have.
15. Monday is an awful way to spend 1/7 of your week.
16. A clear conscience is usually the sign of a bad memory.
17. Save the whales. Collect the whole set.
18. Get a new car for your spouse. It'll be a great trade!
19. Plan to be spontaneous tomorrow.
20. Always try to be modest, and be proud of it!
21. If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
22. How many of you believe in psycho-kinesis? Raise my hand...
23. OK, so what's the speed of dark?
24. How do you tell when you're out of invisible ink?
25. If everything seems to be going well, you have obviously overlooked something.
26. When everything is coming your way, you're in the wrong lane.
27. Hard work pays off in the future. Laziness pays off now.
28. Everyone has a photographic memory. Some just don't have film.
29. If Barbie is so popular, why do you have to buy her friends?
30. How much deeper would the ocean be without sponges?
31. Eagles may soar, but weasels don't get sucked into jet engines.
32. What happens if you get scared half to death twice?
33. I used to have an open mind but my brains kept falling out.
34. I couldn't repair your brakes, so I made your horn louder.
35. Why do psychics have to ask you for your name?
36. Inside every older person is a younger person wondering what happened.
37 Just remember - if the world didn't suck, we would all fall off.
38. Light travels faster than sound. That is why some people appear bright until you hear them speak.
 

Moca

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Jul 1, 2004
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rafael said:
If nothing sticks to teflon, how does it stick to the pan?

If 7-11 is open 24 hours why are there locks on the doors?


SO they can put that note "Be back in ten minutes" up.

LOL.

Thanks HB,

Moca