Thanks I will have to try those.
Tomorrow we will have been married for 2 months...and i married him for one reason...We love each other. Sure a lot of times i have questioned myself and i have read a lot of these threads, but it comes down to what your heart tells you and how he has treated me. He has never given me any reason to doubt him. He makes me happy.
For a little history, i met him in November 2002, and yes...he was a bartender at a resort. He was never pushy, nor a sweet-talker. He just went about his job and i kind of went to him. I was very attracted to him, kind of looks like Denzel Washington! I only hung around where he was working for a few days and then we exchanged numbers before i left. That was it, no sex, nothing! I only tipped him $5cnd. I called him (at the hotel) 2 months later and he was gone. About a month later he called me and told me that his friend told him that i has called. We continued to talk every few weeks. I then went back to Dr for 2 week vacation in 2003 to a hotel close to his hotel. We spent every moment we could together. When i went to go home i knew that we liked each other a lot. I cried and then he cried. Even though he had his life and i had my life, i continued to date others but never found anyone that treated me the way he did.
In conclusion, we tried to get him here on a visitor visa 3 times to just learn that it was next to impossible (wish i had known about the forum). Finally i did a lot of thinking because i was ready to "settle" down and go with what makes me happy. In all honesty we were not ready to get married. I told him in 2004 that i was NOT going to marry him to bring him to Canada. He said that he did not care because he wanted to just be with me and it would happen when we were ready. He never preasured me or asked me for a dime! I have dated a few carribean men and he seemed different. After getting declined the visitor visa in June 2005 i knew that i either had to love him or leave him. There was no way that i was able to leave my good paying job to go live there and there was no way i could leave him so that is when i decided to marry him.
Yes i took a risk, but what isn't a risk now adays?? My heart tells me that i did the right thing and that i do love him very much. He's my Baby! Through the distance and the heartaches of being declined we have always found happiness in each other. I take care of what i need to but he still never asks me for anything. He has a lot of respect for me and my family. He is always asking how everybody is.
For the last year we have almost spoke everyday. Yes, he still works at a resort but he is now a Capiton of the bars and restaurants. I am able to contact him 24hrs a day if i like. He has never given me any reason to question him. If he decides to be unfaithful, i stongly beleive that what goes around, comes around. I also beleive that anybody has the choice of being unfaithful, whether they are living 10minutes from you or 10 hours from you. It depends on if they want to do it and the upbringing of your family values. My husband, Oscar, told me that his father was a casanova and didn't like what he did to his mother. Oscar had to work for money and food when he was 8 years old to take care of the younger children since his father did this. He vowed that he would never do this to me or his children. We are now starting the immigration process.
Bottom line is that we are happy together and it doesn't matter what anybody thinks. I always loved what Trina has wrote cause i know that Oscar and I are similar to Angel and her. She is the one that has made me stick with it and follow my heart.
Maybe one day i will find that i was wrong to be with a Dominican, but then again i could have said that if i was with a Canadian, American, or Jamaican. People are people! Black or white. We are all different. Some are good and some are bad. We will all get what we are destined to have. Right now i know that Oscar makes me very happy and puts a smile on my face. Period
Kim