Help!

S

sunshine_79

I made the 300,000th post!
Jun 1, 2005
684
0
0
45
Okay everyone, I need some advice!

I've been with the old ball and chain for about three and a half months now and am finally ready to meet the parents. I think he might be the only Dominican I've met who is an only child so I don't have to worry about siblings, nieces or nephews, just the 'rents down in Santiago.


We are going there for Sunday dinner and I want to make a good first impression. This is particularly important to me because I don't want the notion to even enter their heads that I'm some weird, freaky tourist chick.

I'm the first non-Dominican girlfriend he's ever had so this is even more nerve-racking for me.

When we arrive, I want to have something to show my appreciation for the invitation and hospitality. I don't, however, have any intentions of bringing anything that resembles a real gift.

If they like me, they need to do so because of who I am, not what I buy them.

And if they don't like me, then well - it's a good thing they live in another city.

I've always done really well with parents so I hope this time follows suit.

I've some girlfriends here who buy loads and loads of presents for their boyfriends' entire families each time they visit. And then they actually say "Wow! His family likes me sooo much!". Geez - wonder why.

I need suggestions on what to bring. I was thinking a nice bottle of wine but he informed me that they don't drink.


Flowers for the home seem too generic but I don't know.

Can anyone give me some ideas?

Thanks!

Sunnie
 
Keith R

Keith R

"Believe it!"
Jan 1, 2002
2,984
36
48
www.temasactuales.com
Sunnie, just bring flowers for the lady of the house to decorate her dining table with. It's not expensive or flashy, but just the type of thoughtful touch a Dominican mom likes from her son's significant other.

Regards,
Keith
 
A

amy2761

Island Body
Mar 16, 2003
881
0
0
41
www.dr1.com
Hey Girl ..... let me tell you lol

My ex introduced me to his parents (we'd been together for 2 months at the time I think) who live in Santo Domingo (we lived in Sosua) .... on their 33rd wedding anniversary!! I had NO IDEA, all he said is "There's a party at my parents house in the capital, lets go". Nevertheless, what I bought them was a very nice bottle of wine and flowers for his mother.

Maybe flowers is a good way to go if they don't drink?

Stay well,
Amy
 
K

KIMMYGIRL

New member
Dec 9, 2005
114
0
0
I agree with the flower thing and perhaps a vase or something to put them in. When i went to see my now husband, he met me at the airport with a beautiful bundle of flowers. We then went to his mother's house in San Juan. This was my first time meeting the family. I took his mom some perfume, pictures of him and i in frames, and a bag of essential ie. toothbrushes, toothpaste, soap, cream, tylenol, cold meds, deoderant, and women products (had sisters). Needless to say the first thing she worried about was putting the flowers in water, which she used a juice container. She set them on the dinning room table with the pictures on each side of it. I left her the flowers because she was so proud of the arrangement. She liked the essentials and did not take it as an insult as she was very appreiciative. The perfume was not a favorite.

Relax!!!! You will be fine. In my situation, she saw how much her son liked me and tried very hard to take care of me....feed me!

Good luck!
 
L

laurapasinifan

Silver
Sep 19, 2005
4,632
91
48
let me ask this: do you think that even on eof his previous girlfriends brought a house gift the first time they met the parents? I think you have it in your mind you need to bring something because you are different. Well as far as being a better girlfriend thats fine, but you are no different, in terms of how you should interact with his parents on a first meeting basis.

otherwise this is a hugely dynamic situation...so many things would come into play to make the best judgement....something along the line of ann landers. Whats prudent and whats not?...depends. Does your boyfriend live in america? or the DR? how old you both are makes a difference in my mind. Those are just a few things that would influence your choice If you choose to buy something. I like a plant, or simple candlesticks and or candles. But i dont think it is incumbent on you to bring anything at all. hey you may HATE each other right away! .........oh but i hope not ha ha ha ha

good luck , enjoy. How long will you be there, and what city do they live in?Santiago?

bob
 
D

dresposa

New member
Oct 7, 2005
80
0
0
Flowers would be nice..... its a nice thought. I see nothing wrong with you bringing a small token of appreciation. I think it should be done whether youre in DR, Canada, or the States. Stand out, be different, I doubt if any of his other girlfriends had the courtesy to do what you are thinking of doing.
 
Keith R

Keith R

"Believe it!"
Jan 1, 2002
2,984
36
48
www.temasactuales.com
Sunnie, trust me on the flowers thingy. Don't bring anything else. Not the first time, anyway. It would be overplaying it. I've seen the flowers thing work time and again among Dominican ladies (for that matter, I've seen it done in Brazil too). It's a small sign of respect for the hostess, never overplayed and always appreciated.

Regards,
Keith
 
Tamborista

Tamborista

hasta la tambora
Apr 4, 2005
11,747
1,343
113
What's wrong with bringing your In Laws a bar of Dove Soap and Ban Roll-on as a gift? It's very appropriate. Flowers wilt after a few days.
 
A

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
83
When you live in the same country I don't think bringing soap and such is very appropriate the first time. It's like saying take a shower or something. If sunnie was coming from the US and wanted to bring things that are hard to find in the DR that would be different.

Flowers sound great sunnie.;)
 
Last edited:
C

carina

Silver
Mar 13, 2005
2,691
4
0
Sunnie, the very best thing, also to stay down to earth here, would be a cake. There is a local place on Calle Beller that have good, fresh cakes. Just after the cinema.
It will be very appreciated.
Add a bottle of wine or some flowers. Not both.
If you buy flowers, you can get a poisinetta in a pot as it is christmas time or just about anything ( Tropical has poisinettas and as you know outside you can get about any flowers from the vendors).

If you prefer to buy the wine, you can buy a bottle of the popular fruitwines that are in store now for christmas. They are light and goes well with the cake.

It is more common here though to bring something to eat or drink to the table, than flowers, but mom will like that too!

Good luck!
 
C

carina

Silver
Mar 13, 2005
2,691
4
0
Keith R said:
Carina, Sunnie said in the OP that wine is not an option.
Click to expand...

Keith, these fruitwines have no alcohol in them and they are very popular with sweets and cakes for christmas, they are less strong than a cider.

I do not see what?s wrong in giving her that suggestion, along with the other ones.
 
Keith R

Keith R

"Believe it!"
Jan 1, 2002
2,984
36
48
www.temasactuales.com
carina said:
Keith, these fruitwines have no alcohol in them and they are very popular with sweets and cakes for christmas, they are less strong than a cider.

I do not see what?s wrong in giving her that suggestion, along with the other ones.
Click to expand...
Oops, you meant the non-alcoholic ones -- I thought you had missed the remark about no wine. My bad. Sorry.

I might note, though, that some of the non-drinking Dominicans I have met refused anything called "wine," with or without alcohol. If Sunnie is going to meet them for the first time and wants to make a good impression, she might not want to be spending time explaining that the wine is actually ok because it's non-alcoholic....

But then, I'm just a guy, not the best judge. Have had 20 yrs marriage to a Dominican and very good relations with my suegra, tias and abuela, and have watched how my wife and her cousins handle (successfully) these type of situations, but...

I've just seen flowers never fail. They are never considered too little, never too much, to give to a hostess. Always appropriate.
 
P

planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
4,409
26
0
My two cents: I agree with the flowers but would rather it be a pointsettia.... (did I spell that right) A plant will last longer. Maybe a small box of chocolates?

Sunnie anything more and I think you run the risk of becoming the source of future gifts, requests and outright demands for things. Don't go the way of being seen as the "rich" foreigner.

Whooops, forget the chocolate, bring that to the office.....
 
A

AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
519
113
I have a simple solution. Just bring 10 packs of lapela for the dad, this will make the mother very happy as well. problem solved.
AZB
 
L

laurapasinifan

Silver
Sep 19, 2005
4,632
91
48
can I ask.....are the parents in the DR... does the BF live in the DR?

sorry if it was obvious to the rest, it wasnt to me , or i missed it. Sunny does live in the northeast(usa) ...right??

I went to see my GF aunts 2 nights ago, and they live in NEW YORK CITY..lower east side.....right across from the 7th precinct!!!! on the 23rd floor!!!!!!!! man was it COLD down there!!!!!!!! they served me rice and beans and chicken and salad...just like my GF parents do! their place looked like it was right out of the DR....forget the surroundings, and youd think you were in the dr.... thery have lived there 15 years now . Seems they take life with them when they move out! sorry about the side track....bob
 
A

A.J.

New member
Jan 2, 2002
444
0
0
The flowers are a great idea.

Also if you see any great looking fruits on your way there in Navarette or on the tourist road (depending how your are going) that can also be a great token. When I used to go from Puerto Plata to Santiago I would stop to get mandarinas for my old college boyfriend's dad - he loved them and it made a great impression.
 
A

AnnaC

Gold
Jan 2, 2002
16,050
418
83
laurapasinifan said:
can I ask.....are the parents in the DR... does the BF live in the DR?

sorry if it was obvious to the rest, it wasnt to me , or i missed it. Sunny does live in the northeast(usa) ...right??
Click to expand...


Keep up to date Bob,
sunnie's been living in the Puerto Plata for over 5 months and even has a blog now;)
 
You must log in or register to reply here.
Top Bottom