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  1. #1
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    Default I've been dying to ask this question

    Back here in the states I literally go to work, and go home. I usually have my boys every other weekend, and I run errands periodically, when I need to. That is the gist of my life here. I don't foresee developing a relationship here, for a couple reasons.

    I will, of course continue to travel to the DR with the hope, and intention, of moving there at some point. One of the things that I've questioned is whether or not I would be willing to become involved in a relationship with a woman there. I'll admit that a large part of my reluctance to be in a committed relationship here in the states is because I've simply met too many women who, in my opinion, are just outright gold diggers. Yea, there goes that term again. But, that has been my experience.

    However, one of the more common themes I seem to have noticed is that many men who talk about being involved with a Dominican woman usually follow it up with talk about what they've bought for the woman's family during the course of the relationship. So, my question is this: Is taking care of a Dominican woman's family usually part of the prerequisite for having a committed relationship with her?

    I'm not bashing anyone, in spite of how strong my opinions may seem. So, please offer some legitimate advice, opinions, and suggestions. I'm not interested in getting into an arguement over the issue.

  2. #2
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    Quote Originally Posted by jackquontee
    So, my question is this: Is taking care of a Dominican woman's family usually part of the prerequisite for having a committed relationship with her?
    It generally depends on the family of the woman you date. If the family is poor (as is the families of most of the women tourists date) the family will expect support at some level from the rich American/Canadian/European. The expectation of support becomes even greater if you significant other emigrates to America/Canada/Europe.

  3. #3
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    Quote Originally Posted by jackquontee
    involved with a Dominican woman usually follow it up with talk about what they've bought for the woman's family during the course of the relationship. So, my question is this: Is taking care of a Dominican woman's family usually part of the prerequisite for having a committed relationship with her?
    All depends on the woman's social/economic level.

    95% of the male posters on this board have never dated a "professional" woman here in the DR, . By professional, I mean... has a "real" job, university educated, has no problem traveling overseas, can hold a conversation about various topics, other than cell phones, new clothes or who's doing who.

    If your considering dating someone that fits the above description, then no.
    The family will be more than capable of taking care of themselves.

    If you plan to run with the 95% pack, then it might well be a prerequisite.

  4. #4
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    Ditto to the above posts. My advise would be If you do start going out with someone then watch their demeanor. A respectable woman will not ask you for anything even if she's poor. Do not offer anything (even if you see that she needs it) until you've gone out for a while and you are sure she's not a gold digger.

    I would say that you must understand that most women in The DR do not make much in terms of income (one of the reasons why they will go out with an older guy) so I would help out here and there...BUT...it must come from you - That's the key...

    If you do help her out then do so sporadically. Don't make it an expected thing and definitely do not give her tons of money (100-200 USD max)...I remember a thread about a guy who was "helping out" a girl in The DR and he was giving her 1000+ USd a month. He wanted her to go to shool, etc...This is more than most people who went to school make, so she saw no need to attend college and saw this as someone supporting her.

    Have fun, but tread carefully ...

  5. #5
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    Decent dominican women from decent families will be embarassed to accept anything from you. There have been a few girls in my life that wouldn't accept anything from me, not even taxi money. I once offered a girl to pay for her taxi and her face turned red. try dating a girl with a full time job or a professional person : example lawyer, doctor, banker or simply a person who holds a good job. You will eliminate 95% of your troubles if you go out with a person who is more compatible with you. Follow hillbilly's rules, this guy is here for 40 plus yrs. He is no fool, he knows what he is talking about. I am sick and tired of hearing the losers repeating the same old stories , she is poor but very down to earth, loving, caring and how they knew a educated girl who was from a middle class family and what a bitch she was etc etc. they make it sound like the poor girls are down to earth humans and the richer girls are all snobs. The truth is these losers can only date the poor girls of this country thats why they put down the girls who are not impressed by their white color.
    Anyway, a decent girl from a good family can't go out alone with a tourist to spend a weekend in a resort. This is simply not allowed. No wonder most foreigners support and are compelled to buy everything she needs in order to maintain the relationship.
    I never buy a damn thing to any girl and never pay them any money. thats because my girls are always employeed and have honor. They don;t look at guys as piggy banks. Some foreigners have so much to learn.
    AZB

  6. #6
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    Hey mister, what is the difference between D.R. and the U.S.A.? So many folks these days are money grabbers. If you find someone you care for, set boundries, and go for it. Life is too short to get to worried about a few bucks.

  7. #7
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    Quote Originally Posted by SweetSue
    Hey mister, what is the difference between D.R. and the U.S.A.?
    How long have you lived in the DR?

    I rest my case....

  8. #8
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    Default Folks, thanks for the replies

    Rellosk:
    The expectation of support becomes even greater if you significant other emigrates to America/Canada/Europe.
    This would not even be a consideration. There seems to be a common opinion by guys that I know here in the states that, if one should ever meet a woman from another country, you never bring them back to the states, for fear of them becoming "Americanized".


    Robert, my intent would very well be to look amongst the %5 you've mentioned, though my impression is that that %5 might indeed be difficult to find on the North Coast, i.e., POP, Sosua, Cabarete.


    suarezn:
    If you do help her out then do so sporadically. Don't make it an expected thing
    By nature I am a generous person. But that's where I've found it to be a difficult thing, because it seems that you cannot be generous without it, at some point, becoming an expected thing and, therefore, the basis of most relationships.


    AZB:
    Anyway, a decent girl from a good family can't go out alone with a tourist to spend a weekend in a resort.
    When it comes to committed relationships, I am actually pretty old fashioned, in the sense that I do believe in romancing a woman. I would never expect the type of woman you've mentioned to simply go spend a weekend at a resort (or anywhere else, for that matter) with me. I think we all know that those type of women are a dime a dozen. Well maybe not a dime, but they certainly exist by the dozens.
    Some foreigners have so much to learn.
    Hence, the need for a forum such as this, and our willingness to ask the questions to which we need answers.


    SweetSue:
    Hey mister, what is the difference between D.R. and the U.S.A.? So many folks these days are money grabbers. If you find someone you care for, set boundries, and go for it. Life is too short to get to worried about a few bucks.
    Hey, miss, I don't know that there is a difference between the DR and the USA. I think that, to a large degree, relationships there and in the US are probably pretty similar. What I do know (based upon my experiences) is that here in the states there is certainly the expectation that you take care of and do for the woman you are dating, and I don't have a problem with that. The problem usually exists with the lack of reciprocity. The impression that I've gotten from reading several posts on this and other forums is that if you date a Dominican woman you not only take care of and do for her, but her family as well. So, rather than go on impressions, I thought it better that I ask the question. And, finally, were it a matter of just "a few bucks" I would never have bothered to ask the question.

    Thanks all.
    Last edited by jackquontee; 12-17-2005 at 10:43 AM.

  9. #9
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    Jack,

    don't lose your head over the first cute thing you see and I think you are smart enough to see through people from the little I know about you.

    Take your time, as Oprah says " everyone shows you who they really are at some point"

    don't miss that point and good luck.

  10. #10
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    Red face

    Hello,

    Money Money Money...
    I thought we were talking about love?

    It sounds like you never dated a US, european woman

    In a couple of days I will compleano a 1 year relation with a wonderful dominican mother, who tries to raise 2 childrens, to build HER home with blood and tears, these 95 % of women you are talking are fighting for living, and we should be proud to know these dominicans
    as these 95 % of men are working and selling for a couple of pesos, what we used to pay 10 times more in a MALL.

    Yes MONEY again, yes dominican have a FAMILY survival system, yes you marry a dominican family, when you fall in love...
    So?
    yes the 10 children pay all together for medecine for their old mother,
    so be part of it, be part of a family

    I am so proud of her and dominican people
    What would you do back in the US, if you had once no electricity for 15 h...
    Kill youself I suppose
    and no water?

    So Merry Xmas all of you, and care more this person you love

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