After submitting to X-rays, an electrocardiogram
and blood tests, the anxious patient waited for
the doctor's return.
"Howard," the physician began, "I have good news
and bad news."
"What's the good news?"
"My son has been accepted to the Harvard School
of Medicine."
"And the bad?"
"You're going to pay for it.
*********************************
Two policemen came to Mr.. Wilkens and said,
"Excuse me, Mr.. Wilkens, but we have some
important information about your wife."
"Well ... tell me!" said Mr.. Wilkens.
The policeman explained further: "We have some
bad news, some good news, and some great news.
Which do you want to hear first?"
Mr.. Wilkens, expecting the worst said, "Give me
the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you
sir, but we found your wife's body this morning
in Chesapeake Bay."
"OH, MY GOD!," gasped Mr. Wilkens. "What can
the GOOD news be?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her
up, she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen
good-sized crabs on her."
"Well, if that's the good news, what can the
GREAT news be?"
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up
again at 6:00."
************************************
Gallery Owner: I have some good news and some bad
news.
Artist:What's the good news?
Gallery Owner: The good news is that a man came
in here today asking if the price of your
paintings would go up after you die. When I told
him they would he bought every one of your
paintings.
Artist: That's great! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: The bad news is that man was your
doctor!
***************************************
Wife: I have some good news and some bad news.
Husband: What's the good news?
Wife: The good news is I found a picture that's
worth $500,000.
Husband: Wow! That's wonderful! What's the bad
news?
Wife: The bad news is that the picture is of you
and your secretary!
**********************************
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed
that it was your blood they found all over the
crime scene
Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good
news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down
to 130!
*********************************************
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: The good news is they are naming a
disease after you!
and blood tests, the anxious patient waited for
the doctor's return.
"Howard," the physician began, "I have good news
and bad news."
"What's the good news?"
"My son has been accepted to the Harvard School
of Medicine."
"And the bad?"
"You're going to pay for it.
*********************************
Two policemen came to Mr.. Wilkens and said,
"Excuse me, Mr.. Wilkens, but we have some
important information about your wife."
"Well ... tell me!" said Mr.. Wilkens.
The policeman explained further: "We have some
bad news, some good news, and some great news.
Which do you want to hear first?"
Mr.. Wilkens, expecting the worst said, "Give me
the bad news first."
So the policeman said, "I'm sorry to tell you
sir, but we found your wife's body this morning
in Chesapeake Bay."
"OH, MY GOD!," gasped Mr. Wilkens. "What can
the GOOD news be?"
"Well," said the policeman, "When we pulled her
up, she had two five-pound lobsters and a dozen
good-sized crabs on her."
"Well, if that's the good news, what can the
GREAT news be?"
The policeman said, "We're going to pull her up
again at 6:00."
************************************
Gallery Owner: I have some good news and some bad
news.
Artist:What's the good news?
Gallery Owner: The good news is that a man came
in here today asking if the price of your
paintings would go up after you die. When I told
him they would he bought every one of your
paintings.
Artist: That's great! What's the bad news?
Gallery Owner: The bad news is that man was your
doctor!
***************************************
Wife: I have some good news and some bad news.
Husband: What's the good news?
Wife: The good news is I found a picture that's
worth $500,000.
Husband: Wow! That's wonderful! What's the bad
news?
Wife: The bad news is that the picture is of you
and your secretary!
**********************************
Lawyer: I have some good news and some bad news.
Client: Well, give me the bad news first.
Lawyer: The bad news is that the DNA tests showed
that it was your blood they found all over the
crime scene
Client: Oh no! I'm ruined! What's the good
news?
Lawyer: The good news is your cholesterol is down
to 130!
*********************************************
Doctor: I have some good news and some bad news.
Patient: What's the good news?
Doctor: The good news is they are naming a
disease after you!