With respect to Hillbilly's three rules, and taking into consideration that I am a male who married a Dominican female, rather than the other way round as implied by the wording of the rules, I have to say that while the rules ostensibly make sense, given the amount of tigueraje here and the numbers of buscavidas you are likely to meet, I dont think they will apply to the majority of cases, simply because the majority of Dominicans you might meet will not have a travel visa or a bank account or an equivalent education. That is just wishful thinking, and you may well discount a perfectly viable relationship if you stick to such rules without a generous amount of reflection on your particular situation. My wife certainly met none of these qualifications, and as my work often caused me to drift among the lower elements of Dominican society, I was of course well aware of the potential problems of such an unequal relationship.
But there are other guidelines as well. Family for example. Here --at least if you live here, rather than just marry someone from here -- you are not marrying an individual, you are marrying a family unit, usually quite an extensive family unit, and your life will be determined to some extent by interaction with all those people as well as your spouse. So you have to ask yourself -- what sort of family is it? are they slothful, sit around haciendo esquina, tomando ron, doing nothing, or do they have an ordered household, discipline, work, and so on? Do they care for one another genuinely? Is the family well bonded? These sorts of clues will go a long way toward helping you decide if in fact the person you are hooking up with is worth a long term commitment. I knew once I met my mother in law, and brothers and sisters in law, that I would be tied to a very good bunch of people. And in fact over the years they have helped me far more than I have been a help to them.
There is the individual's character as well. My wife, for example, is poorly educated, but very intelligent; poor in material things, but rich in spirit; without resources, but gifted in business matters and a whizz at saving money, making a buck, getting the best deal, and so on. She has innate good taste, despite never having had the advantage of growing up in tasteful surroundings. Well, those qualities more than make up for what she doesnt have, and was deprived of having simply by an accident of birth.
Linguistic and cultural differences complicate these decisions, but in the end we are still talking about criteria that dont really change across borders though they may be inflected somewhat by the location. I wouldnt choose my partner in my native country for their wallet, so why should I do so here? However, I would certainly take the consequences of an unequal economic relationship into consideration. Same with education. For some people, the requirement that their partner have an equivalent education is axiomatic. Either here or back "home" that was never the case for me, so long as native intelligence was present. And I think it is unreasonable to expect that your partner here have an equivalent education. Very few Dominicans do. But do they show an interest in new things, in learning, in the so called finer things in life? If so, you probably have a good partner there, one that will enjoy learning about life at your side.
Well, I dont mean to impugn these rules, obviously offered to everyone in good spirit, in order to help them avoid what could be a terrible mistake. But they do seem a bit unrealistic and strict. It is undoubtedly a sticky problem, and I imagine it is even harder for foreign women than for foreign men to suss it all out. I wish you luck.
But there are other guidelines as well. Family for example. Here --at least if you live here, rather than just marry someone from here -- you are not marrying an individual, you are marrying a family unit, usually quite an extensive family unit, and your life will be determined to some extent by interaction with all those people as well as your spouse. So you have to ask yourself -- what sort of family is it? are they slothful, sit around haciendo esquina, tomando ron, doing nothing, or do they have an ordered household, discipline, work, and so on? Do they care for one another genuinely? Is the family well bonded? These sorts of clues will go a long way toward helping you decide if in fact the person you are hooking up with is worth a long term commitment. I knew once I met my mother in law, and brothers and sisters in law, that I would be tied to a very good bunch of people. And in fact over the years they have helped me far more than I have been a help to them.
There is the individual's character as well. My wife, for example, is poorly educated, but very intelligent; poor in material things, but rich in spirit; without resources, but gifted in business matters and a whizz at saving money, making a buck, getting the best deal, and so on. She has innate good taste, despite never having had the advantage of growing up in tasteful surroundings. Well, those qualities more than make up for what she doesnt have, and was deprived of having simply by an accident of birth.
Linguistic and cultural differences complicate these decisions, but in the end we are still talking about criteria that dont really change across borders though they may be inflected somewhat by the location. I wouldnt choose my partner in my native country for their wallet, so why should I do so here? However, I would certainly take the consequences of an unequal economic relationship into consideration. Same with education. For some people, the requirement that their partner have an equivalent education is axiomatic. Either here or back "home" that was never the case for me, so long as native intelligence was present. And I think it is unreasonable to expect that your partner here have an equivalent education. Very few Dominicans do. But do they show an interest in new things, in learning, in the so called finer things in life? If so, you probably have a good partner there, one that will enjoy learning about life at your side.
Well, I dont mean to impugn these rules, obviously offered to everyone in good spirit, in order to help them avoid what could be a terrible mistake. But they do seem a bit unrealistic and strict. It is undoubtedly a sticky problem, and I imagine it is even harder for foreign women than for foreign men to suss it all out. I wish you luck.
