American Girl Dating Dominican Man - Need Advice!

Mayresue · Jan 31, 2006

Ok ? Well I?m a born and raised American Girl (25). I work in a construction field and have met a Dominican Man on the job site and have been dating him for the past (2) months. Our relationship in the beginning was not that serious to me and I mean he is a contractor and travels around, but as time has gone on I have really fallen for him. BUT there have been some major problems with our relationship, he is always with his friends (the men he travels & lives with), he will come down to my house late in the night, he has never even spent a full day with me, we have never been out in public together, he tells me he?ll call then he won?t, he gets mad at me for the silliest things, seems to be very jealous as well, but I love being with him. He is the first man I?ve been with that makes me feel special and happy.

So he left here and went away to visit some family out of state. He was supposed to stop by to see me before he left but I never heard from him. I was very upset, it wasn?t until the next day he calls to tell me why? he goes on and on about how I didn?t kiss him when I seen him on the job site and was very upset by it. Saying I don?t want anyone to know about us, (I live in a small community, where everyone talks about everyone) and me being White and him Black, is a big deal to people here. I could careless what anyone has to say, and furthermore I?d sooner move him right in than blink my eyes.
So there he was already out of state ? so mad at me ? hung up on me, and me with no numbers to reach him. No idea where he was or who with. He ended up calling 3-days later ? calmer ? but still something was up ? I told him how I missed him with no reply from him. Then the next night I went out to eat and his boss was out, needless to say his boss told me he was going out of state to get married. I was heart broken. I called him and he started yelling at me asking me who told me that, and that was crazy and told me not to ever call him again and hung up on me. Never heard from him again, didn?t even know if I would see him come back.

The next weekend I went out with some friends, and some of his friends were out. I tried to pry some information out of them, but most of them don?t even speak English and the ones who did told me NO he wasn?t getting married. But would they tell me??
So that night I had a few people over to my house including his friends and after a few too many beverages I ended up kissing his one of his friends. I was so mad at him and thought he had gotten married and after lack of judgment I thought that would hurt him, but in the long run it only hurt me.

So needless to say he came back yesterday and I talked to him on the job site yesterday, which did not go over well, he was upset with me, threw his hand in my face saying he didn?t get married, his cousin told him to tell his boss that so he could leave for a week, then preceded to tell me he had bought me a ?ring? and was going to give me a ?ring? but he knew about me being with his friend, he said a few other choice words and walked off.

He ended up calling and leaving me a few messages last night, asking me how could I do that to him (being with his friend) and told me he would never forget it. I have not spoke with him yet again and I don?t know what to do? I want to believe him, but what if he did go get married? How in the heck will I ever know? Do you think he just wants me around while he is here then when he leaves town he?ll leave me again? I just do not understand men, especially this Dominican Man! I care about him so much and I have no idea what approach to take? HELP

palmiche · Jan 31, 2006

Mayresue said:
Ok ? Well I?m a born and raised American Girl (25). I work in a construction field and have met a Dominican Man on the job site and have been dating him for the past (2) months. Our relationship in the beginning was not that serious to me and I mean he is a contractor and travels around, but as time has gone on I have really fallen for him. BUT there have been some major problems with our relationship, he is always with his friends (the men he travels & lives with), he will come down to my house late in the night, he has never even spent a full day with me, we have never been out in public together, he tells me he?ll call then he won?t, he gets mad at me for the silliest things, seems to be very jealous as well, but I love being with him. He is the first man I?ve been with that makes me feel special and happy.

So he left here and went away to visit some family out of state. He was supposed to stop by to see me before he left but I never heard from him. I was very upset, it wasn?t until the next day he calls to tell me why? he goes on and on about how I didn?t kiss him when I seen him on the job site and was very upset by it. Saying I don?t want anyone to know about us, (I live in a small community, where everyone talks about everyone) and me being White and him Black, is a big deal to people here. I could careless what anyone has to say, and furthermore I?d sooner move him right in than blink my eyes.
So there he was already out of state ? so mad at me ? hung up on me, and me with no numbers to reach him. No idea where he was or who with. He ended up calling 3-days later ? calmer ? but still something was up ? I told him how I missed him with no reply from him. Then the next night I went out to eat and his boss was out, needless to say his boss told me he was going out of state to get married. I was heart broken. I called him and he started yelling at me asking me who told me that, and that was crazy and told me not to ever call him again and hung up on me. Never heard from him again, didn?t even know if I would see him come back.

The next weekend I went out with some friends, and some of his friends were out. I tried to pry some information out of them, but most of them don?t even speak English and the ones who did told me NO he wasn?t getting married. But would they tell me??
So that night I had a few people over to my house including his friends and after a few too many beverages I ended up kissing his one of his friends. I was so mad at him and thought he had gotten married and after lack of judgment I thought that would hurt him, but in the long run it only hurt me.

So needless to say he came back yesterday and I talked to him on the job site yesterday, which did not go over well, he was upset with me, threw his hand in my face saying he didn?t get married, his cousin told him to tell his boss that so he could leave for a week, then preceded to tell me he had bought me a ?ring? and was going to give me a ?ring? but he knew about me being with his friend, he said a few other choice words and walked off.

He ended up calling and leaving me a few messages last night, asking me how could I do that to him (being with his friend) and told me he would never forget it. I have not spoke with him yet again and I don?t know what to do? I want to believe him, but what if he did go get married? How in the heck will I ever know? Do you think he just wants me around while he is here then when he leaves town he?ll leave me again? I just do not understand men, especially this Dominican Man! I care about him so much and I have no idea what approach to take? HELP

Are you looking for a stereotyped opinion?

Who needs good advise/protection? You from him or He from you?

Or just read what has been said about Latin men!

Also read what Latin men said about Gringo girls!

Ohhh, just call Walter Mercado.

C'mon how can you post your life on this board to know what to do? Follow your heart but keep an eye on your wallet.

RP23 · Jan 31, 2006

Let him go. Who knows what he could be doing? I really didn't understand how he would leave and not tell you where he was going. By the way I understood the story I think your better off with out him. The start of the relationship was a headace and you can tell how the rest of the relationship would have endded up. Forget him and get with someone else.

Good luck.

blondytomato · Jan 31, 2006

I agree with RP23 , you know you can only take people at face value.Dont understand why you would want to marry a man who has never taken you out or spent a full day with you ??????.
Reverse psycology seems to be the name of this guys game he is taking the heat off himself by trying to place the blame on you for your actions .
Goodluck xx

rellosk · Jan 31, 2006

Mayresue said:
... he gets mad at me for the silliest things, seems to be very jealous as well,

That behavior is GUARANTEED to get worse as time goes on. So, magnify what's going on now in both frequency and intensity and if that's something you can live with then continue, otherwise end it.

sunshine_79 · Jan 31, 2006

Mayresue said:
BUT there have been some major problems with our relationship, he is always with his friends (the men he travels & lives with), he will come down to my house late in the night, he has never even spent a full day with me, we have never been out in public together, he tells me he?ll call then he won?t,

And just what is it about this man that makes you so "happy"????

I've got two words for you: Booty and Call.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but if he won't go out in public with you then he is ashamed and is having "secret sex".

Oh God, I just thought of something - you don't give him money, do you?

Cut your losses, kick his a** to the curb and remain single until you learn how to respect yourself.

daydream · Jan 31, 2006

Mayresue said:
he is always with his friends (the men he travels & lives with)

he has never even spent a full day with me

we have never been out in public together

he tells me he?ll call then he won?t

he gets mad at me for the silliest things

seems to be very jealous as well

He was supposed to stop by to see me before he left but I never heard from him

hung up on me, and me with no numbers to reach him.

he started yelling at me asking me who told me that, and that was crazy and told me not to ever call him again and hung up on me. Never heard from him again, didn?t even know if I would see him come back.

threw his hand in my face

And all of this makes you happy? WHY?

Walk away - you deserve better

Daydream

AnnaC · Jan 31, 2006

How do we get through to young women that the first time a man, whether he is from the DR or the moon shows disrespect you dump him because it's only the beginning.

And if it's about the sex you can't give up then shut up and keep him because no one should put up with that and no one that loves you would do that to you.

Goes on a week's vacation without saying anything? Give your head a shake.

DominicanScotty · Jan 31, 2006

Aye yie yie.........................

Did I say already?????? AYE YIE YIE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

ElvisNYC · Jan 31, 2006

I agree with everyone here ! You're getting played by this guy.. If you like that stuff, and won't feel emotionally attached, go for it ! But this guy is not serious with you !

He barely calls you and lies too much - signs that he's not straightforward .. I've done that, so I know !

AnnaC · Jan 31, 2006

Mayresue said:
BUT there have been some major problems with our relationship,
he is always with his friends (the men he travels & lives with),

he will come down to my house late in the night,

he has never even spent a full day with me,

we have never been out in public together,

he tells me he?ll call then he won?t,

he gets mad at me for the silliest things,

seems to be very jealous as well,

but I love being with him.

He is the first man I?ve been with that makes me feel special and happy.

Can you pleeeeeease tell us dumb people how this could make you happy. That 20 minutes or so must be really good :classic:

Sorry that is all I will say.

qgrande · Jan 31, 2006

This story has all the alarm bells ringing. Please Mayresue, you ask for advice? Read back your post and think what advice you would give yourself.

RP23 · Jan 31, 2006

Mayreasue, Mayreasue, Mayreasue!

What brain you were useing to think with? The one inside your skirt or are you using the brain thats inside your head? I know you liked the little attention he gave you, but really think about it. He wasn't giving you what you need. Mayreasue you are 25yrs old you should know better. Your young and at a great age to be single and have fun. Think about it there is always fish in the sea. Don't make the same mistake again!

miguel · Jan 31, 2006

Oh, poor baby!

If this is not a joke, and since I am in a very good mood right now, I will answer all your inquiries with some very "wise" words:

Are you fricking kidding me?. What are you, 5?. Are you that desperate that you don't know when a man is "cleaning the toilet" with your face?. Do you enjoy being treated like schit?. Are you in such a need to be "loved" that you will lose your self-respect, self-morals and self-value?.

1- He does not spend a full day with you because you, to him, are just an easy lay.

2- He does not take you out because he has someone else and do not want to be seen with you, the other woman

3- He does not call you because he is with his significant other.

4- He gets mad a you because he is playing "mind games" because he knows that he found a naive and desperate girl that is too deep into him.

5- If he makes you happy and special while abusing you this much, girl, you need a shrink.

6- He probably did get married. His friend did not lied to his boss, he is lying to you that he did not.

I can go on and on but I will stop here just to tell you that:

The moron does not care about you!. Take a fricking hint, if he does not care to call you for days, if he does not spend time with you, if he does not want to be seen with you, HE DOES NOT WANT YOU!. He wants sex and nothing more. To him, you are nothing more than a second banana", a lover.

Now, go outside, see if you can "spot" your self-respect and pick it up from the froor and say goodbye to this man that WILL only treat you the way YOU let him treat you!.

Don't forget that SOME of us guys can spot a "floor mat" when we see one.

Anna, sorry but to me, this is one of the top 5th stupidiest thread ever on this forum.

See what I mean when I say to send me some rope so I can hang myself. After reading such thread and so much stupidities on a 25 year old, can you blame me?.

Where do they find all these smart" people!.

Btw, there's no good advice to be given here. She is 25 and even though is being treated like garbage, she still claims that he makes her happy and special!. Oh boy!

Btw # 2: Some of the members here will "sugar-coat" your situation but in my book, you are old enough to know the difference between being treated with respect and being treated like a "floor mat". You have to make up your own mind. If you like to be treated like schit, stay with him. If you like to be treated with respect and care, he is not the man for you and since you are 25, you should know that he is treating you like schit. You have the last word but don't forget that he will only treat you the way you let him treat you!.

Erin24 · Jan 31, 2006

hmm

I knew that was comming from miguel sooner or later.. yikes!
i agree though, when i read it i thought this guy was no good. i don't know why you do not see that. even while writing the post you should have known, as you stated all those horrible things! :ermm:

Jersey Devil · Jan 31, 2006

sunshine_79 said:
And just what is it about this man that makes you so "happy"????

I've got two words for you: Booty and Call.

Sorry if this sounds harsh but if he won't go out in public with you then he is ashamed and is having "secret sex".

Oh God, I just thought of something - you don't give him money, do you?

Cut your losses, kick his a** to the curb and remain single until you learn how to respect yourself.

Sunshine,

You beat me to it. This is classic booty call activity.

JD

Chris · Jan 31, 2006

I read this thread from the bottom up and when I got to the post where I had to scroll and scroll and scroll, I just knew it was Miguel. :classic:

Now, go to Miguel?s post, reread it and you'll have all the reasons why you should never ever have anything else to do with this person. Change your telephone numbers, change your e-mail, get a new cell phone, anything... but get out! :tired:

AZB · Jan 31, 2006

the moment he goes out of town she sticks her tongue in his friend's mouth. A class act. we are surely dealing with a person who feels pure strong love for her man. yeah right. My a$$.
AZB

miguel · Jan 31, 2006

Chris said:
I read this thread from the bottom up and when I got to the post where I had to scroll and scroll and scroll, I just knew it was Miguel. :classic:

Now, go to Miguel?s post, reread it and you'll have all the reasons why you should never ever have anything else to do with this person. Change your telephone numbers, change your e-mail, get a new cell phone, anything... but get out! :tired:

Since I have the rope around my neck and I have a little time before I "kick the chair", I just need to ask you if you are giving me a compliment or are you trying to kick the chair before I do?. Or is it a "stab" and then a compliment?. Or are you confusing me with Nals, hehe?.

Scroll is my middle name, right next to ax hole, hehehehe.

Btw, do not think for one moment that you are the only one here that wants to "kick the chair" before I do. Take your number and stand behind Asscott, AZB, Anna, Charlie, Carina, Potato Salad, Nals, Suarezn, Dominicanscotty and a few thousands more, hehehehe. Oh, I can feel the LOVE!.

Btw2, AZB, when someone tells you to wait while he picks another call, WAIT PENDEJO!.

laurapasinifan · Jan 31, 2006

you cant change people.....you cant like this little something that is so special and build a life on it alone, hoping to correct rudeness, insecurity, selfishness, irresponsibilty, and hotheadedness..........and this is the hardest part for young poeple to accept....sound advice learned from experience of older people.....and i KNOW it is so hard to accept, you can reason it away so many ways, you figure you will have an answer for each road block.... and sure enough , as it is ordained in history, you will at one point realize that the older folk were right!.. and now it is your turn to TRY and convince someone younger not to make your mistakes.....and the cycle repeats itslef every year

one day if we talk to enough people one person will heed advice well given, and act upon it and make their life better, BEFORE they even live it!!!!!!!!!!

good luck

bob

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