A woman of quality

how do you go about meeting one from a good family and removed from the bar tourist enviorment?

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Don't spend time in a tourist area and hang out in hooker bars etc.

If your a tourist, forget it. The so called "good girls" in most cases are not going to give you the time of day. I'm talking girls that work, have been through uni, educated, good background etc.

Then again, all depends on your definition of good girl?

If you don't speak Spanish well and have something interesting to say, forget it as well. For example calling the country "the Dominican" vs. the Dominican Republic. Or the DR. Same rules apply as to someone who could not speak English coming to your city to try to pick up good girls. Communication would be lacking. Thus boring.

To not meet the ones associated with the bar and tourist environment, don't go to bars looking for girls.

It can be done

First we must define a ?good girl?, if you are looking for someone who is totally innocent, a virgin, a university graduate or some woman that has a passport and visa, it is going to be tough. If you are looking for a woman who lives on her own, has a good job, and money in the bank, it will be even tougher. If on the other hand, you are looking for a raving beauty who knows how to treat a man, is sensitive, warm, and intelligent (street wise) the DR has more that its share. These beauties can be found in urban and rural settings all over the DR, and would make any man a wonderful wife or girlfriend.

There are several cautions one must take if you are seriously seeking a woman in the DR. Sure we all know about HB?s RULES, but they do not apply in all situations. Caution number one is to understand the culture of the Dominican Republic. Even before you learn your first Spanish word, study the culture of man, woman relationship in the DR. Without understanding the basic culture any relationship is doomed.

Second, Robert is right, stay away from tourist areas. Most, not all, but most of the women working in the resorts, bars, disco?s, and clubs are after your money. They are extremely good at what they do and will break your heart before you know what hit you.

Third, be prepared to spend some money. 99% of all of the women you are likely to meet will expect you to help support them and many will expect you to help support their family. There is nothing wrong with this and it is one of the cultural things I was talking about. One must also consider the expense of travel, telephone, and other expenses related to a L/D relationship. Only you will know if the rewards are worth the price. In my case it has been worth every penny.

If by chance you do fine Ms. RIGHT, be honest with her. Tell her and her family what you are willing to do and what you are not willing to do. Be very straight forward and firm. Never waver no matter what situation she or her family tells you that has befallen them. You also need to learn to trust her. There can be no relationship without trust on both sides. If she betrays your trust then you must deal with it.

Good luck in your search.

Chuckuindy

Right on

Chuck is pretty much on point here. As many know, the Dominican Republic is a very large island and has millions of people living on it. The ratio of women to men is very, very good also. However, if you do not get off the resorts or away from the coast your chances of finding a good woman are very slim. Getting off the coast does not mean running directly to the nearest barrio!

Become friends with educated, cultured Dominicans and remain friends with them. Let them know that you want to be their friend and you too do not have "ulterior motives". (Which means stop staring at their 15 year old daughter!)

Learn their culture and by all means at least try to learn some conversational Spanish. Dominicans are very patient people. If they notice that you are trying they will appreciate that (especially the older family members).

You will then see a relationship evolve over some time. Then in time, those beautiful Latina family members that have heard so much about you from the family will begin to show up to possibly meet this interesting foreigner. It doesn't always happen but if you are patient there is good chances for you.

I agree with you guys--learning the culture, language and avoiding the tourist areas.

All the posters are offering excellent advice, Fireguy, you need an "IN", someone to bring you into the fold, who will show you around to the nice pick-up spots. And if you can't find that "IN", create your own. Sit at a nice bar in a non-tourist area, look for a group of girls sitting at a table, get eye contact, give a nice smile, wait for reaction (positive/negative), send over drinks, if you are lucky you'll be invited over, start making light convo, and witty jokes, don't alienate any of them, treat-em all equally nice. Tell-em your new in town and would like to know where to go and if they would like to hang-out. Hang-out, have a good time, exchange numbers and now you will be officially "IN", Enjoy!

p.s. Look for the Hottest chicks in the place sitting together, because all of the other hot chicks will see you frolicking with these girls and having a good time. They will make and keep a mental note of you.

women of quality

The short answers are to spend time at a private university and/or a church. If you are looking to relocate to the DR you will find many good gals from good families at either locale. You should also be able to speak on a variety of topics in spanish. I recently attended the wedding of a cousin of my GF. She (the cousin) met her foreign (French) spouse at the beach but that was very hush hush because, to many a good family, it is an inappropriate venue to meet someone at the beach or a bar. Yes, you'll meet many possible good girls while banking, shopping etc., however, you're more likely to find the best Dominicanas in church or a good university. Also, the HB rules should always be at the forefront as chuckuindy has pointed out. There are many more details to consider, but this is the short answer. Good hunting. TO

***First of All, The Dominican Republic is not called The Dominican. I never heard that until now. Please if you are willing to relocated to The Dominican Republic then please call it by the right name.***

If you are looking for a "good girl" you better have a great buddy that is going to guide you and you need to have a good head on your shoulders. Why you might ask. Well, MOST Dominican women love tourist; They see the green. Its going to take alot of time until you find what you are looking for, and you must know spanish; They will use that against you. The natives there are very smart and they would love to be with a tourist because in their eyes they see a free trip out of there. Please, Please, Please! Use your brain and pick carefully. I hope everything goes well!! Good luck!!!

Third, be prepared to spend some money. 99% of all of the women you are likely to meet will expect you to help support them and many will expect you to help support their family. There is nothing wrong with this and it is one of the cultural things I was talking about. One must also consider the expense of travel, telephone, and other expenses related to a L/D relationship. Only you will know if the rewards are worth the price. In my case it has been worth every penny.

Chuckuindy[/QUOTE]


Seriously consider this portion of Chucks' advice and keep in mind what he also said about learning the culture, because this will be a problem. And here is MY take on it.

As a tourist who visits often, you are entitled to know what you will come up against before you go down this road. My own personal feelings about this are pretty straightforward. It is not your responsibility to take on the financial woes of a whole family, regardless of how much you think you are in love with a dominicana. And especially if the girl has children from another man. It is not your responsibility to take care of anyone over there if you are not living there. And if you do live there financial assistance should extend soley to your wife and children.

The reason I say this is because there should not be a separate rule for tourists and for natives. A dominican male can have kids all over the place, not give up a dime for support and live off others and that seems to be acceptable on a cultural level. But as soon as the tourist steps in, all of a sudden it is socially acceptable to demand money from said tourist.

I ran into a situation like this with a girl that I liked and it was just humiliating. Long story short I did not feel responsible to take care of another mans' child, her rent, her sick mother and so on. This was a girl from a supposedly good family who had an extended network of family members all over the island. But as soon as I hit the scene she was inundated with all manner of woes that of course needed my financial assistance to remedy, becuase noone in her family could help her with her problems. But lo and behold when there was a party to go to they were ALL there drinking up my booze and eating my food. I took a good look around and said, "Damn, ain't this some ****? Where the hell were all these "primos and primas" when her kid was sick?"

Unless you are Mr. Money Bags and want to play the role of Big Daddy then you will have no problem meeting a nice girl who will spend your money on some no-good beer-swilling lowlife while she tells you she loves you over the phone. And she'll be having this conversation with you while she's lying in bed with him and they'll BOTH be laughing at you all the way to the nearest Western Union office. You may think that you are helping out-but in reality you will be nothing but an LDP-"Long Distance Pendejo".

Dominicans with real class would never think of asking a tourist for money to subsist on. But if you want to meet these types, you have to live there or spend alot of time there and ingratiate yourself into the culture and meet people. This will not happen in a span of 1-2 weeks while you're on vacation. Some might disagree with me but this is just my 2 centavos.

Wow!

Berzin said:

It is not your responsibility to take on the financial woes of a whole family, regardless of how much you think you are in love with a dominicana. And especially if the girl has children from another man. It is not your responsibility to take care of anyone over there if you are not living there. And if you do live there financial assistance should extend soley to your wife and children.

A dominican male can have kids all over the place, not give up a dime for support and live off others and that seems to be acceptable on a cultural level. But as soon as the tourist steps in, all of a sudden it is socailly accpetable to demand money.

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Wow! This is so true.

Chuckuindy

Fireguy1 said:

but how do you go about meeting one from a good family and removed from the bar tourist enviorment?

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there is only one way my friend!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! only one!!!!

double date with AZB


bob

Originally Posted by Fireguy1
but how do you go about meeting one from a good family and removed from the bar tourist enviorment?
if that is your question, then I am afraid you have alot to learn. Just stick with whores for now and then we will talk about the next stage later.
AZB

AZB said:

Just stick with whores for now and then we will talk about the next stage later.
AZB

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You will enjoy the good girls a lot more if you take AZB's advice. Plus you will be supprised how many good girls these working women know.

Chuckuindy

Fireguy1 said:

but how do you go about meeting one from a good family and removed from the bar tourist enviorment?

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You have to come highly recommended!
Specifically from an established (financially & socially) Dominican. Do you hang out with Dominicans in your neighborhood? If you do than that's a start, if you are of Character and display the attributes of higher-class individuals, i.e. the way you walk, talk, and pretty much carry yourself in a social enviornment and also show your desire to learn proper spanish, they will trust you and consider you one of their own, then the doors will open my friend. In other words, you have to be invited inside.

Also, even if you relocate down there, it does'nt necessarily mean you will hook-up or get connected with the upper-crust. Upper-class dominicans are very snobbish and they will judge you on how you look, mannerisms, and finally, they always always want to know what you do for a living. It's a guaranteed question they will ask and judge you on, never fails with them.

Ricardo

Also, even if you relocate down there, it does'nt necessarily mean you will hook-up or get connected with the upper-crust. Upper-class dominicans are very snobbish and they will judge you on how you look, mannerisms, and finally, they always always want to know what you do for a living. It's a guaranteed question they will ask and judge you on, never fails with them.

Ricardo[/QUOTE]

In other words, a snob is a snob. An upper-class dominicana will want to be with someoen from her pwn social class. And if you are an upper-class american than stay home. You'll be getting the same thing and it will cost you alot less.

Berzin said:

Also, even if you relocate down there, it does'nt necessarily mean you will hook-up or get connected with the upper-crust. Upper-class dominicans are very snobbish and they will judge you on how you look, mannerisms, and finally, they always always want to know what you do for a living. It's a guaranteed question they will ask and judge you on, never fails with them.

Ricardo

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In other words, a snob is a snob. An upper-class dominicana will want to be with someoen from her pwn social class. And if you are an upper-class american than stay home. You'll be getting the same thing and it will cost you alot less.

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pretty much

I think most people think that ricardo is only talking about lamas or ochoas etc. He is simply talking about the upper middle class folks. People who own a decent house in a respectable area and own late model cars and hold respectable paying jobs. These people are almost always decently educated thus, no need to be impressed with a dollor spending gringo. They do OK at their own pace.
These are the girls that you would want to hook up with. The girls who work at verizon's main office, tricom main office (not call centers or cell repair shops), the girls who work at banks, in administration offices of companies etc etc. these are the girls you will not meet walking down the street in the afternoon looking for a bola (lift, with thumb sticking out) from strangers or go to bars alone looking available. They will not just date you because you are a foreigner and have a visa to offer her. I can never take a girl seriously if she doesn't work or doesn't have a decent job. The girls who work at beauty salons, Bancas de apuestas are almost all trashy. I say if you can't pin point a trashy girl from a decent classy girl then don't even read any further. You will not know what I am talking about. The trashy girls don't have jobs and are always short on cash. they never have minutes in their cell to call you, they never have money to take cabs, conchos to go anywhere. They have no clue where to even look for a job. They make a date with you then turn off their cell phones and disappear. They never say "no" but always cancel on you the last minute. They have a huge bag with a ton of problems inside. Their lives are a mess. They usually come from broken up families and live with a cousin, tia or a friend in a one room hooker motel. ete etc etc. Do I have to tell more?
these are the types of girls most foreigners hook up with. Then the same foreigners make fun of dominican ways.
Now if you are young enough (not looking like her grand dad), you can at least begin to look in the right direction. Do not go to sleazy bars, carwashes or tourist bars looking for love. The girls who work in tourists areas in small bars and restaurants are all low class bitches. They are nothing but problems.
Now if you date a girl who is from a middle class family and works and lives with a whole family then chances are you will be a happy camper. The middle to upper middle class girls are labeled snobby because they do not pay attention to gringos or their cheap talk. They are in fact, are the most friendliest types you will find anywhere. Just learn to speak spanish and you will be all set. Learn to dress well, behave well in public places, be respectable and show respect to the girl and the customs of the country. Do not act like you are a foreigner and everyone should worship you. This will not work here in santiago.
So from now on, look for girls in banks, big corporation offices ex: verizon, tricom, grupo M (office level girls) etc and find out where they go to have fun. Then go to those places ex: francifol cafe, tribecca bar, ahibar restaurant / cafe, hang out in plaza internacional, shop at super market nacional and talk to girls who are shopping along side to you, join a gym, become friends with respectable dominican families and have them invite you their their social parties, get to know married dominican guys and let their wives set you up with decent girls, go hang out in PUCMM university etc etc, the possibilties are endless. The decent girls are all around you and waiting for a nice guy to take them away from their loneliness.
Now when you are going out with a girl who is a lawyer, doctor or simply holds a good job or from a good family, you will notice, that your life will become 100% more easy. Here is an example: My doctor girlfriend has visa to go to USA, she can talk to people of all kinds of educational levels. She is not impressed with fancy cars, resorts or huge houses. her family has all that so she doesn't need to date a guy who can impress her with wealth. She always comes to me in taxi or family car. I never have to give her a thing ex: buy her family an inverter, send money for this and that, look for a job, send her to school or get her a visa etc etc. She has it all.
Now if I can find someone like that, why is anyone having any trouble? I am a simple average looking guy with average IQ. if I can do it, so can many of you.
AZB