Verizon troubles

My aunt just installed DSL in her house for the first time. I've heard about their sucky service. Hopefully it won't go down often.

Mike - are there any other high speed internet providers in Santiago?

Can I? Huh? Can I?

Can I print my Dear Codetel complaint letter? Huh? Can I?

Dear cretins,
I have been a Codetel customer since 9th July 2001, when I signed up for your 2-in-one deal for internet hi-speed modem and telephone. During this three-month period I have encountered inadequacy of service which I had not previously considered possible, as well as ignorance and stupidity of monolithic proportions.
Please allow me to provide specific details, so that you can either pursue your professional prerogative, and seek to rectify these difficulties - or more likely (I suspect) so that you can have some entertaining reading material as you while away the working day smoking Marlboros and drinking cuba libres.
My initial installation was cancelled without warning, resulting in my spending an entire Saturday sitting on my fat ass waiting for your technician to arrive. When he did not arrive, I spent a further 57 minutes listening to your infuriating hold music, and the even more annoying Dominican robot woman telling me to look at your helpful website.... HOW? I alleviated the boredom by playing with my testicles for a few minutes - an activity at which you are no-doubt both familiar and highly adept.
The rescheduled installation then took place some two weeks later, although the technician did forget to bring a number of vital tools - such as a drill-bit, and his cerebrum. Two weeks later, my hi-speed modem had still not arrived. After 15 telephone calls over 4 weeks my modem arrived... six weeks after I had requested it, and begun to pay for it. I estimate your internet servers downtime is roughly 35%... hours between about 6pm -midnight, Mon-Fri, and most of the weekend.
I am still waiting for my telephone connection. I have made 9 calls on my mobile to your no-help line, and have been unhelpfully transferred to a variety of disinterested individuals, who are it seems also highly skilled ball jugglers. I have been informed that a telephone line is available (and someone will call me back); that I will be transferred to someone who knows whether or not a telephone line is available (and then been cut off); that I will be transferred to someone (and then been redirected to an answer machine informing me that your office is closed); that I will be transferred to someone and then been redirected to that irritating robot woman...and several other variations on this theme.
Doubtless you are no-longer reading this letter, as you have at least a thousand other dissatisfied customers to ignore, and also another one of those crucially important testicle- moments to attend to. Frankly I don’t care, it’s far more satisfying as a customer to voice my frustrations in print than to shout them at your unending hold music. Forgive me, therefore, if I continue.
I thought Tricom were chit, that they had attained the holy pizz-pot of god-awful customer relations, that no one, anywhere, ever, could be more disinterested, less helpful or more obstructive to delivering service to their customers. That’s why I chose Codetel, and because, well, there isn’t anyone else is there? How surprised I therefore was, when I discovered to my considerable dissatisfaction and disappointment what a useless shower of bastards you truly are. You are sputum-filled pieces of distended rectum - incompetents of the highest order.
Tricom - wankers though they are - shine like brilliant beacons of success, in the filthy puss-filled mire of your seemingly limitless inadequacy. Suffice to say that I have now given up on my futile and foolhardy quest to receive any kind of service from you. I suggest that you cease any potential future attempts to extort payment from me for the services which you have so pointedly and catastrophically failed to deliver - any such activity will be greeted initially with hilarity and disbelief - quickly be replaced by derision, and even perhaps bemused rage.
I enclose two small deposits, selected with great care from my cat's litter tray, as an expression of my utter and complete contempt for both you and your pointless company. I sincerely hope that they have not become desiccated during transit - they were satisfyingly moist at the time of posting, and I would feel considerable disappointment if you did not experience both their rich aroma and delicate texture.
Consider them the very embodiment of my feelings towards Codetel, and its worthless employees.
Have a nice day - may it be the last in your miserable short life, you irritatingly incompetent and infuriatingly unhelpful bunch of twats.

Wepa!!! May I use your letter (with appropriate changes of names) as I could not improve on the language to address my distaste for other (appropriate) Dominican companies! Canadian Bob.

Hehehe! I love it! Good news for our business

Rocky, WELL DONE ! !

An exceptional piece of work! Great humor! I may nominate Rocky for a Pulitzer Prize! [I do exagerate, . . a little, . . at times]. You have captured perfectly the extreme frustration of North Americans [& probably Western Eurpoens too] in attempting to deal rationally with public [?] utilities & the government in this 3rd world disaster. I think that each of us has a similar tale of woe; but none has told it so artfully. It made my day! Great job. On behalf of Verizon, thank you!

Hi everyone is it posible to have satelite dish installed and not have any problems with internet ???

canadian bob said:

Wepa!!! May I use your letter (with appropriate changes of names) as I could not improve on the language to address my distaste for other (appropriate) Dominican companies! Canadian Bob.

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Take it away, Bob....

mickey1gbr said:

Hi everyone is it posible to have satelite dish installed and not have any problems with internet ???

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hehehe! yes, but it is more expensive... :devious: but then we 'select few' don't worry about those verizon bozos...

Geez, I think I'm writing from the verizon connection at the moment.

Hey Mike,
I updated from 384 to 768kb/s without any troubles... It just came 5 days late, but that was it...
Funny thing is that my upload was 256, when I had the 384 plan, and now it is only 128 upload... However, it is slightly cheaper...
I usually bitch a lot about Verizon, but service has been good to me lately (maybe it's just luck...)
I guess it all depends on the human being behind the 220-111---

I had some problems in my old appartment, but I must say I'm a bit impressed after I moved to my new appartment in Sosua last summer. I'm using internet for work, and a lot of other stuff, like watching tv from my home country. I'm using the nternet for I'll guess about 6 to 7 hours in average every day, and I haven' been offline for more than a couple of hours since last june.

Chris said:

Hehehe! I love it! Good news for our business

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I agree with you
We now have SIP-VOIP over WiFi as well

Arjan

On the main Sat connection 500ms, one of the lowest
Used Satellite is Amazonas on 61 deg, (part of Hispasat), spot-provider is Telenor-USA
We use Vonage on 1 system, with PAP2, over a 3Km distance (with other users)
In our office we have Sky-Voice, with a RT31P2

you want to test it call 646-217-4059, (looks like) a NY number, but is here at my desk in Juan Dolio.