Please help me plan my life...

Gitana · Jul 12, 2006

Ok, here's the situation, and I'll try not to make this too long. I'm not getting any younger, I'm not earning enough money and I've been trying (without success) to finish my college degree so I can get a decent salary.

I have, however, some pretty decent equity in my house, so this is the plan (kind of) I have been thinking about (I'm almost decided)...

I sell my house. From that I take apart enough money to survive for a year and save the rest. I stop working or work only part-time so I can FINALLY finish my degree. I go back to working (with a decent salary) and buy another house.

The budget would be around $1,500 USD a month.

I live in Central Florida and was thinking about doing that here, then I realized with the same amount of money I would pay here for a boring apartment I can go to the DR and live close to the beach, which is kind of a life dream, plus the adventure, plus the weather. I live alone with my 11 year old daughter, so it would have to be some place reasonably safe. I say reasonably because I understand there are no guarantees in life. I would prefer it's not some isolated "foreigners-only" place, though...

I will definitely need Internet, preferably hi-speed, because that's how I'm going to be taking my classes, and maybe my daughter too.

I realize the first thing I need to do is go and see how comfortable (or not) I am with living there, and I'm planning to do that soon, but I wanted you guys' feedback, if you please.

Do you think it's doable? or do I need a reality check?

Rocky · Jul 12, 2006

It would be meager, but doable.

samanasuenos · Jul 12, 2006

Hello dear and thank you for being brave and posting, knowing that you will get some rude replies. Or perhaps they will behave for now.

You may not like what I recommend, and if so then please see a financial counselor - you may find that he/she supports most of what you are going to hear. Or perhaps I am just old school.

Anyway, my gut feeling is that the one thing you have now is a house. Keep it. Do not touch your equity. People are doing that like crazy these days. It only means more debt. And that equity is best saved for an emergency we hope that you and/or your daughter never have.

I finished my degree while working days and going to night school - for six years. Hang in there.

Stay home. Take your classes on line. Go for the new job. And once you have a higher salary, take vacations to different RD locales for years before you even consider a move.

Also, emergency medicine and ambulances in the RD are not up to Florida standards. Additionally, many pedestrians are hurt by crazy drivers. Not a safe place for a kid-o like your little girl.

Now is the time to suck it up and make a reasonable plan. Stick to it and always "keep your eye on the prize." It has been done.

Just do not touch your equity.

Good luck! - Sam

Hillbilly · Jul 12, 2006

Unfortunately, I am going to back Samanasueños' recommendations.
Education, on line, is very expensive. education at a University here is very expensive, especially for a foreigner.
Once you have an education, it is with you forever. It is your eternal back up.
Be wise, pay the price in exhaustion, exasperation or whatever, but get it done.
You have the ability to get government loans, scholarships and medical care there, so take advantage of it.

Once it is done and the higher paying jobs come on line, then your whole outlook will change, i am sure.

Plus, the DR will be here, no matter. Take a few vacations here if you can, but visit the real parts of the country rather than the toruisty areas. We;ll point you in the right direction.

And very good luck.

HB

carina · Jul 12, 2006

I agree with the above posters. Put yourself and your education first, as well as your kid.
I live in Puerto Plata with my 16 yr old son, and 1500 US is not alot of money here when calculating costs of schools, raising a kid, living in a descent house, medical insurances etc.

Wish you very good luck though with whatever you deside.

Hipocrito Mejia · Jul 12, 2006

You've gotten some very good advice from sam and HB. They're steering you in the right direction.

Don Juan · Jul 12, 2006

Don't do it!

Do not sell your house and do not take out a loan on your equity!!!! If you were single my response would probably be different but your child has to be taken care of in the best possible way! She also needs a good education that will cost you less in Florida than DR.
What you and daughter need to do is spend a few bucks and come see for yourselves what is like in DR.
One of two things will happen: You'll either hate it and realize what a dumb idea it was in the first place and make other, more realistic plans or.....You'll love it and find the incentive to work very hard to obtain your degree sooner because DR is where you and daughter want to grow roots. Or at least, visit often!

Remember, business before pleasure!

frndms · Jul 12, 2006

Dear friend,
I think I must agree with the other posters too. You must never sell your house unless its to buy a new one. Keep it. Honestly, if you are opting for a career change you can still work and study part-time. No need to leave your job. Honey, your daughter's wellbeing is more important. If you like DR you can always go for a visit with your daughter and decide later. No need to rush things. One at a time. I personally did a career change way back and I'm living in Malaysia where most things are cheaper but I did not sell my house or other assets. Its too risky we must save and save for the children even though you have only one child. Think about her future too. If you are thinking about ladies and good life its every where and anywhere.. even in the place where you live.. think ten times before you make final decision.
Good luck.

JRR · Jul 13, 2006

just some thoughts!

I would not advise selling your home. I agree with the other posters. The only exception I would find is that if you were to refinance and were able to rent your home out to tenants that would cover your complete mortage, taxes, and other expenses on your home, it would give you the opportunity to see the DR and see how you like it. My children are grown so I can't give you any real advice on schools. You would have to do some intense invesigations as to what it would cost you to live here, how much schooling will cost for your daughter, and how much it will cost for you to take the classes you need to finish on line.

JRR

samanasuenos · Jul 13, 2006

I would maybe agree with JRR on the renting out of your house, to tennants, but it is hard to find good tennants. And you would be a long-distance land-lord. You could come home to a torn-up house.

I know you need a break and a ray of sunshine at the end of the tunnel. I can identify with your frustration and yearnings, but please just hang in there and do nothing rash. Later, after some time has passed - you will thank us.

-- Sam

abe · Jul 13, 2006

I sold my house a very long time ago to have an adventure in the Caribbean. I walked away from a tenured teaching position with full benefits and a decent double house where the tenants were paying the mortgage.

I have not regretted one part of the decision EXCEPT the selling of the house. I got swindled pretty fast by the Pirates of the Caribbean, the equity I had liquidated from the sale of the house was gone and I had to start over.

I have no kids, so imagine if I had had one or two, etc.

I will say though that I know Florida's school system may not be that much better than what you could cobble together in the DR for your child, but that in itself is not sufficient reason to ditch your house and come to the DR.

Buy a few more merengue records, a case of Presidente and keep working on your security.

Good luck.

Rick Snyder · Jul 13, 2006

Gitana,

Welcome to DR1 the helpful message board. After reading your OP and the other responses that you have received I will have to agree with all the other posters.

I must also question you concerning your OP. In the first sentence you said "I'm not earning enough money". The immediate question to me is do you mean you don't make enough to pay your mortgage and survive or you're just not making what you would like to or think you should be making? I only ask this as it would be an indicator as to whether you are desperate or you can hang in there till a later time. If you can hang in there then what everyone said is the way to go.

Rick

Gitana · Jul 14, 2006

First of all, thank you, thank you, thank you everybody for your responses. I really appreciate it.

Rick Snyder said:
Gitana,

In the first sentence you said "I'm not earning enough money". The immediate question to me is do you mean you don't make enough to pay your mortgage...

Rick

Rick:

That's exactly the problem. My house has an ARM, so the mortgage interest is not fixed and it's going up already. I will probably have to sell it regardless unless I can refinance, but I haven't been able to do that, in part because of the low income. That's why I was thinking if I have no other choice but selling, I will put most of that money in some kind of savings account, but financially it makes sense to stop working so I can finish my degree in one year. I will almost recover the money I spend with the difference in the first year salary.

Buy a few more merengue records, a case of Presidente and keep working on your security.

Abe:
Now THAT is good advice.

I won't do anything on an impulse, I understand it's a very important decision and I'm not thinking about moving permanently, just for one year until I finish my education. And I won't do it without going there a few times and getting to know the place first. And I will definitely NOT do it if I don't feel that my daughter is going to be safe.

About my girl's education, I have thought about it, but since it would be only one year, I think she wouldn't get behind in subjects like science and math, and if she gets a little behind in English or Reading, she will have time to get up to date later, plus her Spanish will improve tremendously.

What you and daughter need to do is spend a few bucks and come see for yourselves what it is like in DR.
One of two things will happen: You'll either hate it and realize what a dumb idea it was in the first place and make other, more realistic plans or.....You'll love it and find the incentive to work very hard to obtain your degree sooner

Don Juan:
I will definitely do that.

Honey, your daughter's wellbeing is more important

frndms:
You got that right.

If you are thinking about ladies and good life its every where and anywhere..

I AM a lady!!!! LOL
Actually the opposite is true. I'm worried about what would happen to my love life and whether I will ever be able to date with all those dominicanitas around willing to go with men twice or three times their age. :ermm: (No offense, I'm only talking about what I've read here.)

Take a few vacations here if you can, but visit the real parts of the country rather than the toruisty areas. We'll point you in the right direction.

Hillbilly:
That's exactly what I want to do, and I will count on you guys for advice.

I know you need a break and a ray of sunshine at the end of the tunnel. I can identify with your frustration and yearnings, but please just hang in there and do nothing rash. Later, after some time has passed - you will thank us.

YES, I DO!!
And I'm grateful to all of you already. It's so nice to be able to get all this feedback.

Thank you all again.

Gitana

abe · Jul 14, 2006

Gitana=gypsy

Somehow I hadn't paid enough attention to your NAME!

Perhaps the choice of name is meaningful here--the urge to travel and see different things is incompatible with a certain kind of security. Yet it can breed a different kind of security--that of knowing that you are able to adapt and thrive in whatever environment you put yourself.

However, Daughter of Gypsy may not be a Gitana in her own right.

I understand perfectly the conflict playing out within you right now. Unlike many others on this board, you appear to be actually taking in the thoughts and advice of others. That's a good start.

Good luck.

Rick Snyder · Jul 14, 2006

Gitana,
Thank you for your response to my questions as this puts your OP into a different light and our members can maybe readjust their responses to your request for guidance. As it is apparent that the ownership of a house is very important the feasibility of holding that ownership is where your problem seems to be and for that I have no advice except to suggest the idea of a female boarder as a way to help with expenses. This suggestion is made without any prior knowledge of the size of you house, area you live in and a host of other questions.

Rick

Don Juan · Jul 15, 2006

Calculated risk?

abe said:
Somehow I hadn't paid enough attention to your NAME!

Perhaps the choice of name is meaningful here--the urge to travel and see different things is incompatible with a certain kind of security. Yet it can breed a different kind of security--that of knowing that you are able to adapt and thrive in whatever environment you put yourself.

However, Daughter of Gypsy may not be a Gitana in her own right.

I understand perfectly the conflict playing out within you right now. Unlike many others on this board, you appear to be actually taking in the thoughts and advice of others. That's a good start.

Good luck.

wow! what a great post!

Gitana, please pay special attention to the second paragraph above...Your daughter's future must be paramount in all decision making. What is best for you now, may not necessarily be for her.
Excuse my concern, but I also have children and will sacrifice whatever in order to ensure their well-being. If I did not have them, I would have probably given up all I have here and headed for the sun & fun of the tropics. But I am from DR and know the freedom and trappings of my nation. In my honest opinion, Florida gives you the best option (as compare to DR), for success at this point in time. Try to save your house at all costs and sacrifice and work hard to succeed and some day you'll come visit on your own terms with the security of knowing that you have a nice place to go back home to.
Your plan sounds like a great, attractive idea but one way or another you have to earn your degree, and location won't make a bit of difference unless you're willing to work very hard for it. Matter of fact, living in DR may turn out to be a distraction from your goals. It may be too much fun for your own good. I tell friends that want to make drastic changes, one thing always: Do not burn bridges!
Consult with a financial advisor. He/she is can tell you better that anyone here can.

carina · Jul 15, 2006

Don Juan, your post is as good as the one you refer to.

I live here in DR, and I love it. With all its ups and downs.
Doing your degree online might be harder from here, than you plan.
For the heat, for the lack of electricity ( you need a backup absolutely ).
There will be many moments you will feel really tired, because there has been no water in your house for days, and your daughter will need time to adapt, find friends etc etc.
Many, many details come in, that will take your attention from the screen to study. If you plan on staying for a year, it also might not be worth to buy all the backups for electricity for example, that you need for studying. ( Internet contracts for instance goes for a min. of 18 months )

Think it over. Do what´s best for your kid and you. Come and visit and don´t let the resorts make you believe that is everyday life here.
Every day life here is, in my opinion so much better than the resorts, but it takes time to adjust, to settle for both adults and kids.

Also consider the costs for 1 year or more here. Life here is not that cheap anymore.

Lambada · Jul 15, 2006

Sorry to go against the flow a bit, but I would like to ask a question of Gitana.
Is the value of your property about to drop substantially? If it is, then maybe selling while your market is high may not be such a bad idea? I still wouldn't suggest you come here to DR though, for the reasons others have outlined above. Live where your cost of living is cheapest plus you qualify for loans and grants while studying. Put any equity you do gain into something very very safe which will not drop. And if you can predict those things take up part time employment as a financial consultant............

The very best of good luck to you. Your education will never fail you.

Gitana · Jul 16, 2006

Is the value of your property about to drop substantially?

Lambada:
I don't think so. There's talk about a "bubble" but I don't think it's going to happen, specially not anytime soon. There's no way that house values are going to stay climbing like they did in the last three years, but I think they will remain pretty steady. I would LOVE to keep my house. I would NEVER sell my house just to go live at DR, I'm just thinking it might be a good place to go for a year if I have to sell my house anyways.

Doing your degree online might be harder from here, than you plan.
For the heat, for the lack of electricity ( you need a backup absolutely ).
There will be many moments you will feel really tired, because there has been no water in your house for days, and your daughter will need time to adapt, find friends etc etc.
Many, many details come in, that will take your attention from the screen to study. If you plan on staying for a year, it also might not be worth to buy all the backups for electricity for example, that you need for studying. ( Internet contracts for instance goes for a min. of 18 months )

carina:
Thank you. That's the kind of specific details I want to know. I'm aware I really won't know until I go there and see by myself, but still I want this kind of "food for thought".

Perhaps the choice of name is meaningful here--the urge to travel and see different things is incompatible with a certain kind of security...

:cheeky: My first husband was from Spain, we were kind of hippy at the time and his mother used to say I looked like a gitana. She didn't mean it in a nice way, but I loved it. It does describe me in a way.

However, Daughter of Gypsy may not be a Gitana in her own right.

I ran it by her, making sure to tell her it's not something that we WILL do, that it's just a thought and I wanted to know how she feels about doing something like that and she was actually excited. Of course she has no clue what she's saying or where she would be going and that can change anytime. I'm just saying, I was surprised she looked at the bright side of the adventure. OF COURSE, as long as she has internet

Also consider the costs for 1 year or more here. Life here is not that cheap anymore.

Hey! THAT was my original question!! Even I forgot it.

Thank you everybody, I will keep exploring my choices and looking forward to going on vacation.

Please help me plan my life...

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