street beggers, limpia bota boys, etc.....

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Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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I am creating this as a spinoff of another thread where people are talking about giving money to street beggers. I want every tourist that reads this to give the next street begger they encounter in the DR 100 pesos and pay specific attention to the beggers reaction. Do you think he will say "thank you"?????? Nope, he wont. He will take it, stuff it in his pocket and walk away from the fool who gave him 100 pesos. That is the attitude here. Someone in the other thread even claims that Dominicans are far more generous than tourists when it comes to the beggers. That couldn't be further from the truth. Philantropy is nonexistant in this country. Contrary to what many people think, the truth is that this is a culture of "haves" and "have nots". If you are a "have not" you are simply on the bottom of the totem pole (immediately above Hatians and street dogs). A wealthy Dominican will step over a man dying in the street before he will give him a peso. A wealthy Dominican woman driving an SUV will run over a poor Dominican crossing the street if he dosent get out of her way. And then she will keep going. That is the way it is here. Anyone who claims that Dominicans are a generous, caring, considerate lot has no clue.


Now, the reason why beggers make a bee-line for tourists is simply because tourists are the only FOOLS who will give them anything. That is why they walk away without saying "thank you" after you give them something. They are not thankful....they simply got money from a fool and it is time to move on in search of the next fool. Give a limpia bota boy some money and it's the same thing. He wont thank you. He does not recognize the act of you giving as being generous, he simply sees it as your stupidity in giving your money to someone else. Now months ago, I decided to stop giving for this reson. Then, one day, I was eating a meal alone at an outside restaurant in the capital. I was sitting at the counter with my back to the street when I heard a young boy say, "Amigo, yo tengo hambre. Favor comprame algo". I tried to ignore him but my heart got the better of me. I turned around and saw a young barefoot limpia bota boy looking up at me with wide eyes. I turned back around to the counter and looked up at a rack of different kinds of bags of patato chips. I then said to the boy " Are you hungry? Pick a bag of chips and I will buy it for you". He shook his head. Confused, I asked him, " you dont like patato chips???", to which he replied, " no, dejame ver la carta" ( I want to see the menu) while pointing at the menu at the counter. At this point, he figured I was a fool and would buy him whatever he wanted. I was shocked. I then said to him " do you want a bag of chips or not"? and he made a face and walked away. I swear to God that is a true story.

That is the attitude here. If you give, you are a sucker. Next time you are in a casino and ask for a drink, tip the waitress who brings it and see if she says "thank you". She wont.


Larry
 
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El Tigre

El Tigre de DR1 - Moderator
Jan 23, 2003
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Larry,

I don't agree with you in some points. You can't generalize like that. Yes this is true in many cases but when I have been around the monument in Santiago and give to beggers I've gotten thank yous with a big smile. Who knows maybe that big smile is "OH YOU ARE SUCH A SUCKER" but I've gotten a thank you with a smile. In some other cases I have only been given what you describe as "gotcha, let me move to the next sucka". There was this one lady with like 5 kids by the monument one time asking for money to feed her children. I gave her 100 pesos, she took it, stared at me up and down, turned around, gave me her back and kept walking. I followed her, tapped her in the back and said "you could at least say thank you since I have no obligation with you or your kids". She looked at me with dismay and sort of whispered a thank you. Who knows why she didn't thank me. We can sit here an speculate for hours. I did note it as rude not saying thank you. Therefore, I told her to thank me.
 
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Jostan

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Jun 17, 2006
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I think in comparison with the USA and Canada (and also Holland) you dont see a lot of beggers (excluding the shoe kids) I think that's kind of strange, since the DR is a lot more poor.

As for your experience with the boy, lol, that's so rude. It never happened to me though. The boys that I met only asked me if they could have the rest of my food when I was finished (uh yes..ofcourse you can have it) and they were always very gratefull and nice.
 
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chuckuindy

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Mar 8, 2004
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What I find even stranger Larry, is even with Dominicans that you have known for some time they never say thank you for any thing you do for them. A good example of this was on my last trip. I invited one of my g/f?s and her sister and another friend of mine to go to the beach for the day. None of them had bathing suits so I offered to purchase them.

We went to 3 different stores but the girls could not find anything they liked, finally at the fourth store I made the purchase, $92.00USD. From there we went to Jumbo to buy some picnic food for the day, $44.00USD, and bought some beer and a few other things which totaled another $35.00USD.

At no time during the day did any of these three women say thank you. It is just a way of life for the DR people. I am not so sure that they are non-appreciative or just think it is your duty.

Chuckuindy
 
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Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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chuckuindy said:
What I find even stranger Larry, is even with Dominicans that you have known for some time they never say thank you for any thing you do for them. A good example of this was on my last trip. I invited one of my g/f?s and her sister and another friend of mine to go to the beach for the day. None of them had bathing suits so I offered to purchase them.

We went to 3 different stores but the girls could not find anything they liked, finally at the fourth store I made the purchase, $92.00USD. From there we went to Jumbo to buy some picnic food for the day, $44.00USD, and bought some beer and a few other things which totaled another $35.00USD.

At no time during the day did any of these three women say thank you. It is just a way of life for the DR people. I am not so sure that they are non-appreciative or just think it is your duty.

Chuckuindy
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Chuck,

Sorry to be so blunt but they never thanked you because they think you are a sucker for spending your money on them. Some concept if you reach into your pocket and give a begger 20 pesos.

Larry
 
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rellosk

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Mar 18, 2002
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Larry said:
That is the attitude here. If you give, you are a sucker. Next time you are in a casino and ask for a drink, tip the waitress who brings it and see if she says "thank you". She wont.
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That might be because in some casinos the house keeps all tips.
 
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macocael

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Aug 3, 2004
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Larry, while the previous thread may have occasionally painted an overly bright picture, your own analysis is too harsh. You cannot expect a palomo whose whole life is characterized by neglect and abuse to exhibit the bourgeois proprieties in this situation. He doesnt even know they exist and as far as he is concerned the world is an extremely unjust place and it simply isnt fair that you should have and he should not. Therefore, in his view his "job" is to get from those who already have. while asking to see the menu, in your view, is impolite, offering the hungry boy a bag of chips in his view is being downright cheap. What should it matter to you, who have so much, if the boy asks for a meal? Anyway, that is how he sees the matter. Yes, some consider you a pendejo for giving, and that is wrong. But you have to learn to draw a fine line and impose controls in a subtle way so that you can give, but not have the whole world knocking at your door to receive.

And you are wrong about Dominicans not giving. They most certainly do. My mother in law's humble home is a place where those who havent may receive if their need is genuine. From each according to his ability, to each according to his need. While that ideal is not exactly incarnate in Dominican society, I have seen it in operation plenty of times in the community.

IT is certainly a shame that in a putatively Catholic country, so many rich people do nothing for the poor and that the divide between the haves and have-nots is so great. But not all rich people conform to that pattern. And why should anyone be surprised if at the traffic intersections the beggars enforce their will on an otherwise neglectful society? For 0nce Mr Nobody can compel the attention if not the compassion of Mr Yipeta and force him to recognize the existence of the widespread misery in this country. Do you know Ruben Blade's Song, En El Semáforo, "esto es lo justo, el impuesto a la miseria hay que pagar." Giving the shirt off one's back is not intended to earn you the gratitude of the beggar; it is simply intended to clothe a man who has none. Those of you who are offended by the bad manners of the poor forget that their situation admits of little in the way of the social niceties. Survival is the paramount virtue, not politeness.
 
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Mirador

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Apr 15, 2004
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macocael said:
..... Giving the shirt off one's back is not intended to earn you the gratitude of the beggar; it is simply intended to clothe a man who has none. Those of you who are offended by the bad manners of the poor forget that their situation admits of little in the way of the social niceties. Survival is the paramount virtue, not politeness.
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Macocael, te felicito!, palabras muy elocuentes las tuyas.
 
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chuckuindy

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Mar 8, 2004
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macocael said:
Survival is the paramount virtue, not politeness.
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Profound, and true, however many Dominican families, even among the poor, teach their children good manners.

Chuckuindy
 
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Larry

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Mar 22, 2002
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macocael said:
while asking to see the menu, in your view, is impolite, offering the hungry boy a bag of chips in his view is being downright cheap.
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Really? Well, how many Dominicans do you think this boy approached? If he did approach any, do you think he would have the gall to refuse the chips and ask for the menu?

The bottom line is that foreigners exhibit something that is not seen here from Dominicans. We WILL give and that is something not common in this culture. So it is interpreted as us being fools. Thats why the boy said to himself, "ah, this gringo will buy me something, so I will tell him I want something more expensive. He is a fool." That same boy would never ever do that to a Dominican.

And, you are wrong when you say this is not a selfish society. Sure people can come on here and give examples of what their family members do or some act they have witnessed in an attempt to discredit what I have said but as a whole, this is an extremely selfish society. No doubt about it.

Larry
 
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AZB

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Jan 2, 2002
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chuckuindy said:
A good example of this was on my last trip. I invited one of my g/f?s and her sister and another friend of mine to go to the beach for the day. None of them had bathing suits so I offered to purchase them.

Chuckuindy
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I am surprised that you have never figured this out yet: When you ask a barrio girl out for beach, she will never have a bikini, even if they live by the beach. They always want the sucker to buy them the bikini, always. They must have 10 different bikinis at home yet they always want more.

Now about tipping:
I was in a restaurant yesterday eating lunch and a legless man walked in with his brother. They announced to the public that the brother was trying to raise 40k pesos to buy prosthesis for his missing leg. Many people dug into their pockets and gave out 20 pesos / each. I also gave him 20. They were very thankful and gave their blessing to everyone. Usually the real beggars who really need money (missing limbs) thank you from their hearts. Now things maybe different in SD where you have many alcoholics and losers as beggars who expect people to throw some cash at them.
AZB
 
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baileyboy

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Jun 27, 2004
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I too, agree with AZB. Whenever my husband (who is Dominican) sees someone who is less fourtnate than himself (disabled in some way) he always gives 50 or 100 pesos, if he has it. He will also give them the last 20 pesos if that is all he has on him.

Being from Cda, I thought this was odd. Here my husband does not have much money for himself, yet he was willing to give up his last few pesos to some of these people. I personally do not give beggers (in Cda) anything. But I found his kindess very touching. Even when I'm in Cda and saw someone in a wheelchair who could not take care of themseves, handicap or mentally disabled, I still would not give any money. I wouldn't go up to them and offer them some money. I guess b/c I know that we have free healthcare here, and that someone else would take care of them.

The street beggers or windshield washer guys on the street corners in Cda annoy me b/c here they are standing out there begging every single day at the same corner, when there are many jobs that they could be working at. We have job banks set up to help you find jobs. But they would rather hang out on the street begging. To me this seems like laziness on their part.

But my husband has taught me that the disabled people in the DR don't have anyone else to take care of them. The majority of people we have encountered in the DR have never come up to us, or him to ask for the money, he will see someone in life struggling and he will offer a little help. There are some people who have a limb missing or in a wheelchair or is mentally disabled have asked us for some money, but where we can see they are in no shape or form able to care for themselves or work for money, we will give them some money. And the gratitude is always forthcoming, once he has offered something. These people are people really in need, and every little bit of help counts. Never once have these people NOT said thank you, or expressed their gratitude.

Is it shallow that we only recognize those that are physically disabled? Maybe, but we don't know the ulterior motive that the other people have. Maybe they too have valid reasons for begging, but one can never be sure.

With the street beggers and limpia botas, he will not pay any attention to them, for the exact reason Larry has mentioned. One time we were eating at a restaurant outside in POP and a street begger (boy) came up and asked my husband for some money. The boys legs was all mangled in some sort of accident on a scooter and on crutches. My husband said no, and the boy left. I asked why he did that, he said he knows that this particular boy does drugs, and he would not give any money.

My husbands entire family is that way, both his parents have the biggest hearts and generosity that I have ever met. They have instilled those same values and manners into their children.

my two pesos.
lisa
 
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Boletero

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Jun 16, 2006
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hey bailey are u from Cda as cour de laine , idaho? or is Cda in DR? and what does that stand for?
 
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DRsherry

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Boletero said:
hey bailey are u from Cda as cour de laine , idaho? or is Cda in DR? and what does that stand for?
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Cda is short for Canada. I am from Canada, my husband is from the Dominican Republic.

lisa
 
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Batman4eva

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Jul 16, 2006
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diablo loco tu si eres taca?o. I remember when I was in DR my friends used to buy me stuff to eat. But I know what you mean a lot of ppl are ungrateful. Ethnicity doesn't make personalities, but environment can sure help.
 
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D-Money

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Apr 13, 2006
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The country is poor and the barrios are infected with crime.What do u expect, the country has had economic deprivement for a long time.
 
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