Off resort sankies...I got out in time..list of red flags to watch for

I am starting this thread to warn women about off resort sankies. With normal evolution present in all aspects of societies, I regret to announce that the honorable job of sankie is no longer reserved to resort workers. This breed of off resort sankie is similar to it?s cousin the resort sankie but more difficult to spot at first. This bread has elected to hide amongst real people to get a fresh crop of undoubting tourists, ready for the picking.

This next part is about rude awakening. Mine but even more the sankie that I married and ALMOST imported into Canada. Thanks God for process oriented slow civil servants, guess they do serve a useful purpose after all; they are like the pest control of the nation. They do not have a 100% success rate but in my case they were good enough. I was also to have one of the new kinds of off resort sankie, the lazy kind. This is probably the first sankie that was so lazy that he became victim of himself.

I want to warn all women that are now reading this, especially the ones thinking poor girl, she really got taken in but I am different, I have been warned and my man is so much not like that. Be careful, not all sankies are the same. Although they share one goal in life, get the most out of an unsuspecting person for the least amount of work. Some will actually work hard at it as they know it is just for a short time. After that their favorite snack will have ripen enough for the picking, and I do compare myself as a fruit, I have never been fed so much manure, been groomed for eating and plucked as I have with this man. These sankies love to immigrate to a new country where they will be taken care of by their sponsor. The sponsor being responsible for that person for 3 years. 3 years can mean A LOT of expenses being racked up by and for that ?So Loving Man?.

As I said I was taken, much taken, we got married but unfortunately hi sankie instincts were so strong and he was so good as a sankie that he fell prey to himself. He was so sure of himself, was so sure that he was saying all the right things, doing the right things, knew enough of everything and was dumb enough in other areas that he was a sure fit for immigration. The more he got convinced the lazier he became, to the point, thank God again, that he became openly jealous, was so apparent at ?not asking for money? to get some, not doing anything for me. I spent 6 months with him over in the DR and as time went on he did less and less, to the point of being arrogant and not even hiding his sankie pre-dispositions. In one day he found out that I did not love him anymore. That he was not getting anymore money. That he was not immigrating to Canada and that his chances of immigrating here are now and for at least 40 years nil, zero, caput, fini. Non existent.

So PLEASE, be careful, if you see a man that is just too good to be true and so caring and loving in DR that it is almost not possible, tell yourself that is it not true and possible , he isn?t true and just a well trained sankie. They make their life career at pleasing unsuspecting women so that they can live off them for as long as they can. One thing usually gives them away. As with any other trade, they have to invest in the tool of their trade, themselves. They will usually be well dressed, well groomed and don?t even own enough money to cover their ass if they had to. Try this little test, ask your wonderful man to show you what he owns, if, a part from what he has on his back, if he can keep it long enough, if it fits in a shoe box, he?s a sankie and you are most likely being taken for the ride of your life. I say that because being part of the crowd that has been sankified, I see it happening to others and sucking the life out of you is exactly what is going to happen.

So for all you women in love over your head with a Dominican, please take time to wakeup and smell that that bitter-sweet smell, by the way, wake up its not roses, it?s **** and you are deep in it. By the way I have passed the bitterness and hurt part and I can read this and laugh at myself. I have now views or aspirations of getting your sankie away from you, I am just trying to spare you a lot of hurt and a lot of expense.

- C

Thank you for your support.

I was pleasantly surprised and encouraged when reading the responses to my posting. I have rarely seen such great support and would like to thank all of you (except for one individual, who that is, will become clear in a few words). Your support and encouragement is greatly appreciated.

As for the other response, comparing sankies to an adventure is like saying that Hurricane Katrina was an interesting weather pattern. Both are devastating phenomenon that destroys people?s lives. As for when will sankie threads stop, probably when the last sankie dies, which is not for a forcible future. Too many people rather live off others than live for themselves. Researchers have tried to eradicate infectious parasites for a long time but they keep thriving off others, plus I don?t think sanitizing the island would be viewed as acceptable, regardless of the good it would do.

Anyone even just alluding to loosing respect for victims of affection predators is not worth any empathy or sympathy themselves. Not condoning these actions automatically reflects approval and even denotes tendencies that that person might have to enjoy the fruit of other people?s labor.

signs and more signs

AnnaC,

I will try to write as many details as I can without putting too many personal details, figure you understand why.

To me clear signs that someone is a sankie is that he is far too willing and way too fast at accepting what you offer. This will be visible at different degree but will always be there.

Out of my personal experience, and please do remember that at that time I could not see it because my brain was being clouded by love. At one time he told me that his work was really dangerous. When I met him he was providing security for a government official at the resort where I was. We continued to have a relationship on the phone and he was really nice. When I returned there for a vacation, thinking that I might see him, you never know. He magically appeared. He said he was going to spend a bit of time with me because he missed me a lot. Then he told me that his work was really dangerous and that because of that and because he wanted to spend what ever little time I was going to be here with me so he quit his job. He then stayed with me and my 12 year old daughter for 5 weeks.

After that time, I returned to Canada because I had to work. He stayed on and we continued our relationship on the phone. I knew he didn?t have much money so I am the one that invested large amounts of money buying long distance cards. We would talk for hours and he would never ask for anything but he would explain how hungry he was, or how much his mother was sick, I loved the man so what else could I do but to offer help. He always knew how much to say no and then at the last minute would tell me how much he appreciates me doing that for him or for her BUT he would ALWAYS ACCEPT. We continued our relationship and I felt good that I loved him, that he loved me and that I was able to help the man I loved, telling myself that if the roles would be reversed he would do this for me in an instant, after all, I always have to insist (sankies are smart enough to know that you NEVER say YES at first, it looks too much like begging).

As we continued our relationship and since we had gotten married the last time I was there, things kept on the same, he would talk and I would send him money to ease his suffering.

I then decided that I want to be with the man I love and decided to move to DR, I planned to go there for 6 months, get organized and see about making it more permanent. I went there; after I told him that I couldn?t pay for everything, he got a nowhere job. He worked at running around as a go-for in a small company. We had a great time, as long as I had money we lived well, life was tough, we would live on the money I had saved up. We talked and he sort of led me to think that life would be so much better if we were in Canada, he would get a great job, buy a house etc...

I returned to Canada and started the process to have him immigrate to Canada. During this time he continued to work, suddenly, a few days before Christmas he told me that he had lost his job, his boss didn?t like him anymore. Then a few days after he said that he had received his last pay and got robed on the way home, nothing else was taken but his money and bonus. That lasted for 7 months. I visited him in March. I had sent him money to pay for the rent on our apartment and was surprised to find that he had also enough to buy himself designer clothes. I found it funny and was asking myself, why would you buy expensive new clothes just to stay at home, he should have used the money for something more useful, after all I was depriving myself to be sure he had enough to pay rent and have enough to eat.

During this time I was encouraging him to find a job, he told me he was looking every day, but could not find one. I sort of got on his case for him to get a job or else when the consular people would ask him what he does for a living it would look bad. Like magic, two days after he found a job. I had also enrolled him, and paid for, and English course. It turned out that he attended 1 class and decided that it gave him headaches and he couldn?t go anymore. I then started to have doubts, I still loved him but I was thinking that he was starting to show too many signs that I was providing for him and he was enjoying life.

Now I have stopped all procedure for him to immigrate to Canada, I do not send him money, have not called him in several months (he has never called me) and I have started the proceeding for a divorce. I wish I could have read a story like this two years ago, things might have been different

Pest control

I guess there is a guardian angel up there looking out for me. I cut it close; the call to be interviewed was days away when I pulled my sponsorship. Luckily I managed to get high level support at the government to pull the plug.

The pest control is that the government seems to be slow and while you are going through this whole process you find is very aggravating. This is all done with reason. These are actually cold and unemotional people, and it is a good thing that they are. They guard our borders against predators that feed off good people?s emotions and sentiments. They are the raid of our nation defending us against evil and bad, spraying around a generous portion of slowness and incorporation. This usually discourages the less vigorous and sankies from making to the end of the process. In my case I must admit that it worked really well. I promised never (like life warranties, or 3 months, which ever comes first) to complain against how slow and unresponsive government workers are. :smoke: