Dominicans: Are they pathologically inconsiderate?

George Holmes

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Nov 15, 2006
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Controversial title I know, but stay with me on this one.

I am totally fed up with people who talk in cinemas, theatres, lectures, concerts etc, and who not only do not turn off their phones, but actually answer them when they ring. Why spend several hundred pesos on a ticket, then talk through the event, spoiling it for you and the people around?
I am also fed up with people just dropping litter everywhere, and not doing it in a sly subtle way, but so brazenly that it seems they think there is an invisible litter bin just below their hand.
Don't even get me started on the queue etiquete, or lack of...
It just seems that Dominicans have no consideration for the feelings of those around.

Now, at the same time I acknowledge that I can't walk along a road in the campo without every passing vehicle offering me a bola, nor can I pass my neighbours' front doors in the campo without being offered a coffee or a meal. I frequently find people going miles out of their way to help me in minor and inconsiderate things. They are also very open to tell me about themselves.

So there appears to be a contradiction: are people here just inconsiderate to people they don't know, or are they inconsiderate yet generous, or is it a rural/urban divide? How can one make sense of Dominican etiquete, and is it justified to confiscate someone's phone if it rings in the cinema?

Calling all anthropologists out there.
 

Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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Do you remember being a child, and promising yourself that you would never become like your parents?
How you would always remain a kid and hold onto those values?
Well, Dominicans have achieved it.
Right or wrong, good or bad, that's what they are.
Kids in adult bodies.
If you look at any and all of their behaviour, you will realize that what seemed inexplicable before, can be easily explained, if you think of them as kids.
Be it about not being punctual, not understanding danger levels, tossing trash, not understanding the value of money, etc, all of the above, are child-like attributes.
When gringos move here, they all want to have some of that "happy go lucky" action, the Dominicans all have, yet, they want to be responsible, like adults from the industrialized nations, who worry about tomorrow, plan for the future, act responsibly, etc, and can never achieve that easy smile, Dominicans have.
You can't have both.
This is not derogatory, simply a fact, and it does not apply to every single Dominican, as some are a lot more traveled than others, but is common enough to make the generalization.
Not counting the highly educated Dominicans, the mean average adult male is comparable to a 4 to 8 year old child in North America, maturity-wise.
 

George Holmes

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I like your hypothesis, it makes a lot more sense to think of Dominicans as just having thrown their toys out of the pram. But how then do you make sense of the other half, which is the constant offers of meals and coffee, people always strangers a free lift, people going out of their way to help you? The willingness to help others is something I have never seen in other any country I have lived in (Spain, the UK, and the US).

The other bit is how to deal with this. I was in the cinema this evening, and found myself wondering if it is acceptable to go to the person talking on their phone, take it from them, and then turn it off?
 

Rocky

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I like your hypothesis, it makes a lot more sense to think of Dominicans as just having thrown their toys out of the pram. But how then do you make sense of the other half, which is the constant offers of meals and coffee, people always strangers a free lift, people going out of their way to help you? The willingness to help others is something I have never seen in other any country I have lived in (Spain, the UK, and the US).
It's a kid thing too.
Kids will lend their friends their bike, let them play with their toys, share food.
Seems perfectly natural to me.

The other bit is how to deal with this. I was in the cinema this evening, and found myself wondering if it is acceptable to go to the person talking on their phone, take it from them, and then turn it off?
Unless you think you are capable of dealing with a classroom of thre hundred 6 year old kids, leave it alone.
Learn acceptance.
Don't go to the places like theaters, if you know their comportment will make you crazy.
Next time you see a motoconcho driving forward, looking behind, remember he is a kid.'Next time you see a driver pull out onto the highway in front of you, almost pushing you off the road, remember he is a kid.
The next time the oncoming driver won't turn off his highbeams, remember he is a kid.
Next time your girlfriend shows up 2 hours late, or not at all, remember she is a kid.
If you can achieve this level of understanding, you may be happy in this country.
If not, you are doomed to be frustrated, exasperated, pizzed off, and generally unhappy.
 

cobraboy

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Jul 24, 2004
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Do you remember being a child, and promising yourself that you would never become like your parents?
How you would always remain a kid and hold onto those values?
Well, Dominicans have achieved it.
Right or wrong, good or bad, that's what they are.
Kids in adult bodies.
If you look at any and all of their behaviour, you will realize that what seemed inexplicable before, can be easily explained, if you think of them as kids.
Be it about not being punctual, not understanding danger levels, tossing trash, not understanding the value of money, etc, all of the above, are child-like attributes.
When gringos move here, they all want to have some of that "happy go lucky" action, the Dominicans all have, yet, they want to be responsible, like adults from the industrialized nations, who worry about tomorrow, plan for the future, act responsibly, etc, and can never achieve that easy smile, Dominicans have.
You can't have both.
This is not derogatory, simply a fact, and it does not apply to every single Dominican, as some are a lot more traveled than others, but is common enough to make the generalization.
Not counting the highly educated Dominicans, the mean average adult male is comparable to a 4 to 8 year old child in North America, maturity-wise.
You know, that's prolly the best distillation of an answer I've ever heard re: the DR.
 

canadiangirl858

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Oct 17, 2006
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Do you remember being a child, and promising yourself that you would never become like your parents?
How you would always remain a kid and hold onto those values?
Well, Dominicans have achieved it.
Right or wrong, good or bad, that's what they are.
Kids in adult bodies.
If you look at any and all of their behaviour, you will realize that what seemed inexplicable before, can be easily explained, if you think of them as kids.
Be it about not being punctual, not understanding danger levels, tossing trash, not understanding the value of money, etc, all of the above, are child-like attributes.
When gringos move here, they all want to have some of that "happy go lucky" action, the Dominicans all have, yet, they want to be responsible, like adults from the industrialized nations, who worry about tomorrow, plan for the future, act responsibly, etc, and can never achieve that easy smile, Dominicans have.
You can't have both.
This is not derogatory, simply a fact, and it does not apply to every single Dominican, as some are a lot more traveled than others, but is common enough to make the generalization.
Not counting the highly educated Dominicans, the mean average adult male is comparable to a 4 to 8 year old child in North America, maturity-wise.

Huh, now I understand my ex-husband. A bit late though.
Thanks for the explanation.
 

2LeftFeet

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God I wish I could be that way--Just footloose and fancy free!!!

I don't think there are too many Dominicans in Switzerland-- Either they adapt or there are a lot of missed trains!
 

Lambada

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I think it's a question of priorities. People are more important than films, so talking to a person who calls you is more important than watching the film. Likewise people are important when Dominicans offer to share their food, have time to listen to you and will always respond if you are doing market research or a questionnaire. There is an innocent quality about some Dominicans: full of wonder, quick to laugh, quick to share whatever emotion you feel, a lot of empathy.

I wonder if this will change as society in the DR changes (which it currently is)?

I'm not saying anything different from Rocky really but I'm using different language just in case child-like gets misinterpreted as childish (which is not what he's saying) by people for whom English may not be their first language...............;)
 

Rocky

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I think it's a question of priorities. People are more important than films, so talking to a person who calls you is more important than watching the film. Likewise people are important when Dominicans offer to share their food, have time to listen to you and will always respond if you are doing market research or a questionnaire. There is an innocent quality about some Dominicans: full of wonder, quick to laugh, quick to share whatever emotion you feel, a lot of empathy.

I wonder if this will change as society in the DR changes (which it currently is)?

I'm not saying anything different from Rocky really but I'm using different language just in case child-like gets misinterpreted as childish (which is not what he's saying) by people for whom English may not be their first language...............;)
You are correct, of course, Lambada, that we are saying the same, with different words.
It's one of the reasons I mentioned it being neither good nor bad, nor right nor wrong.
It just is.
Many words have developed negative meanings, when they are not intended to be.
Take ignorant, for instance.
Call someone ignorant, and it's an insult, yet it just means, a lack of knowledge, and nobody knows everything.
I am totally ignorant about rocket science, yet don't feel bad about it, and anyone who calls me ignorant for that reason, can kiss my derri?re.
Calling Dominicans childlike, is but the explanation of why they are the way the are.
It can be as much of a quality as it can be a deficiency.
Dear mother, used to say, "Don't be so immature".
Like it was a negative thing.
When in fact, she just wanted me to live in her adult world.

This major difference in cultures, is the reason that us gringos, can never fully assimilate.
Someone mentioned above,
and there is something to be learned from them....take the best leave the rest
That, is the secret to success in the DR.
It is not the path for financial success, but it sure is the best route to happiness.
 

Rocky

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A note to George.

I like the nature of your question, and the way you worded it.
I have to admit that I don't recognize your DR1 name, but you seem like a class act.
Your question has crossed every single gringo's mind, who ever lived here.
I know that I have not offered any actual solution, for an individual incident.
That's because I have nothing worthwhile to contribute, as a solution.
The best I could offer, is the part about understanding.
It sure helped me develop the patience needed to live here and be happy.
 

Criss Colon

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Jan 2, 2002
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"What A Country!"

"Dis Contry Bean Berry Berry Gud to me"!!!!!

Where else in the World can one live and not have to accept responsibility for one's actions??????

Take for example; the other day I arrived at the "La Cadena" Supermercado. As I exited my vehicle,I realized that I had to take a pi$$. "No problem",I just stood beside my van and let it fly!! Problem solved!!
As I left the supermarket,I noticed some old envelopes and papers on the floor of my van."No Problem", I just put down the window,and let it fly!
Later,I became "Horny"! "No Problem",I just called a "Pretty YOUNG Thing" I know,met her at my apartment,took off my clothes, and "let it fly"!!

PS, Don't step in any "Puddles" at "La Cadena"!:cheeky:

CCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCCC
 

pkaide1

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Aug 10, 2005
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It is very sad that you are putting all Dominicans in the same boat. Considering them to be the same is like saying that all American are nothing, but rednecks and crackers, which we are not, just my opinion.
 

Kyle

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Jun 2, 2006
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the Bible states, "where there is no vision, the people persish". not saying that i am a christian but i think this best describes the situation....
 

dv8

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Sep 27, 2006
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mr holmes, welcome, my complaining buddy!
rocky have made it clear for me that i will never even get used to the life here. thing is, i do not like children, and now i have to live among millions of them, everyday.
it all makes perfect sense.
i fell the need of banging my head on the wall..... :ermm:
 

Tuan

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Short answer to OP's title question: "YES".

Corollary to Rocky's postulate "they are children", which derives from Dominican cultural inheritance: "they are ARAB children"
 

mountainfrog

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Dec 8, 2003
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Two Types of Kids

...Kids in adult bodies.

This is not how they see themselves and call them that, you'll
get your nose punched.
Just listen to any sentence that starts with 'Soy una persona...' and choose from the following:
'good, polite, honest, respectable, law abiding, responsible, sincere, serious'...

Yes, kids will be kids, however, grown ups acting like kids are persons without education.
Claro, no tienen la culpa...

m'frog
 

Mirador

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Apr 15, 2004
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the Bible states, "where there is no vision, the people persish". not saying that i am a christian but i think this best describes the situation....


Kyle, you forgot to add the rest of the Proverb (Proverbs 29:18) "... but he that keepeth the law, happy is he"

What happened to the following admonition?

?Whoever does not welcome the kingdom of God like a little child will certainly not enter it? (Mark 10:13-16).

I am Dominican, and the analogy of using ?childlike? to describe typical Dominican behavior has crossed my mind in the past. At one time, I found myself being increasingly paternalistic, a trait that at first I attributed to old age, but later came to realize that most Dominicans are indeed childlike. My current wife, who is from a remote rural mountainous village, and who has strongly matured in our over seven years of marriage, one day, spontaneously, voiced the exact same thought, to describe our neighbors in Azua.
 

M.A.R.

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Feb 18, 2006
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Wow Rocky!

Do you remember being a child, and promising yourself that you would never become like your parents?
How you would always remain a kid and hold onto those values?
Well, Dominicans have achieved it.
Right or wrong, good or bad, that's what they are.
Kids in adult bodies.
If you look at any and all of their behaviour, you will realize that what seemed inexplicable before, can be easily explained, if you think of them as kids.
You can't have both.
This is not derogatory, simply a fact, and it does not apply to every single Dominican, as some are a lot more traveled than others, but is common enough to make the generalization.
Not counting the highly educated Dominicans, the mean average adult male is comparable to a 4 to 8 year old child in North America, maturity-wise.

wow you had all that bottled up inside, what type of Dominicans are you coming in contact with???? those are incredible observations.
ok you did say not all,thank you for that.