cedula, now you see it , now you don't

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
i have finally got the call - my papers are ready and i can go to SD to pick up my cedula/residence. i have to bring, however, additional 1000 pesos - new charge for releasing my residence the same day (apparently).
so i took a day off work, swallowed some dramamine and off i went.

in SD my abugado picked me up and drove me to the meeting point with puerto rican girl smugglers, or at least something you would have expected from the lowlives hideout that from any government agency. narrow street with overflowing rubbish bins behind ferreterias and some repuestos garages leads to cement and wood warehouse that looks nothing like any official building and everything like a background from steven segal movies.

the "office" itself consist of two tiny rooms, no bigger than my wardrobe with entrances blocked by two desks between which one has to squeeze (natural selection, dominicans do not want all those "canadian fatties" to get cedulas ;) ). then one has to wait their turn in a usual chaos. snap - the fat woman takes you passport and fills up two sheets of paper, snap - another fat woman (how do they get into the room?) with a tooth braces (betty la fea) takes your pictures, misspells your names, takes a scan of your fingers and gives you few more sheets of paper, snap - thin woman put a few stamps and gives you... a piece of paper.

at this point it turned out they run out of plastic and do cedulas will be released today. yes, i have to came back another day. yes, all this travelling, doping with drugs - for nothing.

i get the residence although honest to god i have no idea what i paid 1000 pesos for since i have to go back to SD anyways. worse still, what was supposed to take "half an hour" took 4 and i misses the chance to see chirimoyas again. after i was finally released from the talons of bureaucracy i found myself waiting for metro to POP over a sandwich when minovio called inquiring about cheesecake. he then ordered me to go to la cuchara de madera and get it as "it's closed, you walk straight and then turn right behind the car place and right again". armed with those vague guidelines from minovio i challenged myself to a little cheesecake adventure and finally SUCESS! i maneged to find the place , get the goodies and go back unharmed!

so - now i have a box of dulces from the best shop in DR and i have to back to stock on some more.

oh, and get a cedula, of course..... :D

i admit, i got seriously upset yesterday and even called minovio with lots of f-words in the conversation but today my nerves have calmed considerably. in uk i could complain and get my expenses back, in DR i'll moan and whine and then try to see the bright side (in that case, the prospect of more cheesecake and chirimoya).
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
2
0
113
Que dramatica!

i have finally got the call - my papers are ready and i can go to SD to pick up my cedula/residence. i have to bring, however, additional 1000 pesos - new charge for releasing my residence the same day (apparently).
so i took a day off work, swallowed some dramamine and off i went.

in SD my abugado picked me up and drove me to the meeting point with puerto rican girl smugglers, or at least something you would have expected from the lowlives hideout that from any government agency. narrow street with overflowing rubbish bins behind ferreterias and some repuestos garages leads to cement and wood warehouse that looks nothing like any official building and everything like a background from steven segal movies.

the "office" itself consist of two tiny rooms, no bigger than my wardrobe with entrances blocked by two desks between which one has to squeeze (natural selection, dominicans do not want all those "canadian fatties" to get cedulas ;) ). then one has to wait their turn in a usual chaos. snap - the fat woman takes you passport and fills up two sheets of paper, snap - another fat woman (how do they get into the room?) with a tooth braces (betty la fea) takes your pictures, misspells your names, takes a scan of your fingers and gives you few more sheets of paper, snap - thin woman put a few stamps and gives you... a piece of paper.

at this point it turned out they run out of plastic and do cedulas will be released today. yes, i have to came back another day. yes, all this travelling, doping with drugs - for nothing.

i get the residence although honest to god i have no idea what i paid 1000 pesos for since i have to go back to SD anyways. worse still, what was supposed to take "half an hour" took 4 and i misses the chance to see chirimoyas again. after i was finally released from the talons of bureaucracy i found myself waiting for metro to POP over a sandwich when minovio called inquiring about cheesecake. he then ordered me to go to la cuchara de madera and get it as "it's closed, you walk straight and then turn right behind the car place and right again". armed with those vague guidelines from minovio i challenged myself to a little cheesecake adventure and finally SUCESS! i maneged to find the place , get the goodies and go back unharmed!

so - now i have a box of dulces from the best shop in DR and i have to back to stock on some more.

oh, and get a cedula, of course..... :D

i admit, i got seriously upset yesterday and even called minovio with lots of f-words in the conversation but today my nerves have calmed considerably. in uk i could complain and get my expenses back, in DR i'll moan and whine and then try to see the bright side (in that case, the prospect of more cheesecake and chirimoya).
Are you sure you want to live in the DR?.

All you do is complain about EVERYTHING!!.

Didn't your "minovio" told you, AHEAD OF TIME, that the DR is a "different monster" than from where you come from?.

You want "things" to be done the way you are used to, go back to your country. Plain and simple.

I can bet my life that if there was no "minovio", the last place on earth you want to live at is the Dominican Republic. I mean, that's what we get from all your complains.

Ohhh, the the power of "binbin".

Btw: Welcome to the DR and the way "things" are done over there. Don't like it, you know what to do.

Btw 2: don't think I don't understand your frustrations, ALL THE TIME. The DR is NOT for everyone. That's why it's taking me forever to relocate over there. See, unlike you, I have been "doing my homework" for years and I still do not know if I can make it over there. And if I think I can't make it, why in hell would I relocate NOW and be miserable, like YOU sound all the time!.

Again, welcome to the DR, the country that WILL NOT adapt to you!.
 

eralc777

New member
Aug 6, 2005
579
6
0
Well...that was a bit harsh! Somebody is being a grumpy pants today (oops still in teacher mode! Im a KS1 teacher and proud!)

I dont think you complain all the time Dv8. It must be frustrating for you to nearly get the cedula and then not. I will keep this in mind when I go through it all...the trip to SD sounds good just for the cheesecake haha!!

Just relax, have a beer and Im sure it will be ready in its own sweet Dominican time.

How long have they said you will have to wait?
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
2
0
113
No senor.

Well...that was a bit harsh! Somebody is being a grumpy pants today (oops still in teacher mode! Im a KS1 teacher and proud!)

I dont think you complain all the time Dv8.
Actually eralc777, I am in a great mood today.

Look at her posts, she complains about EVERYTHING DOMINICAN. Well, except her "minovio".

Come on man, what did those "fat women" did to her other than do their jobs?. Why is it her business how those "fat women" can fit in that tiny room?.

And those are only 2 of her MANY complains on that post alone!!.

I just hope that "fat" and "ugly Betties" don't "run" in her family!.
 
Last edited:

Mirador

On Permanent Vacation!
Apr 15, 2004
3,563
0
0
...the country that WILL NOT adapt to you!.


"Dominican Republic, the country that will not adapt to you"

Now that's a better slogan (at least more realistic) than the "Dominican Republic, Inexhaustible" currently being used by the Ministry of Tourism.
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
miguel, spot on, if it was not for minovio i would have never lived here because this country sucks.
but, there you have it - the power of love.

sad you can see i complain - which i do but you can't see the humour, well, whatever, dominicans would not recognize humour even if it slapped them in a face with a wet cedula.

i don't care for DR to change i just care to live somewhere else one day...
 

BushBaby

Silver
Jan 1, 2002
3,829
329
0
79
www.casabush.org
Actually eralc777, I am in a great mood today.

Look at her posts, she complains about EVERYTHING DOMINICAN. Well, except her "minovio".

Come on man, what did those "fat women" did to her other than do their jobs?. Why is it her business how those "fat women" can fit in that tiny room?.

And those are only 2 of her MANY complains on that post alone!!.

I just hope that "fat" and "ugly Betties" don't "run" in her family!.
Miguel,
GROW up & stop attacking people please. I have MET Dv8 & she is NOT a complainer - she is VERY down to earth & recognises (probably better than YOU) the failings of this country and OTHERS (including her own!!). Dv8's post was written in a HUMOROUS manner that is not complaining - just factual with a slight twist of exaggeration for humour effect!! Very British & totally understanderble to someone with an open mind!!

If you intersperse a bit of humour in your posts maybe people here might appreciate you & your contributions as much as they do Dv8's posts!! ~ Grahame.
 
Last edited:

2LeftFeet

Bronze
Dec 1, 2006
1,147
14
0
From what I'd read repeatedly here on these boards is that Dominicans love to whine and complain-- (not my observation-- I'm not fluent in the language so I wouldn't know nor do I live there)

So-- If she is "whining and complaining" she is assimilating and acclimating to her new enviroment quite nicely!!!

Can't fault a girl for trying :)
 

Chris

Gold
Oct 21, 2002
7,951
28
0
www.caribbetech.com
Miguel, you need to be able to read 'English' before you'll completely understand dv8. ;) Remember the story, how do you know that a British Airways Plane has just landed?
The whining does not stop even after the engines are turned off!

(Not trying to get at the Brits .. just trying to get to Miguel!)
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
9,478
410
0
80
www.ginniebedggood.com
All you do is complain about EVERYTHING!!.

No she doesn't. She is recounting a highly amusing narrative using a very British sense of humour. I appreciate your problem in understanding this, Miguel. English isn't your first language is it? And if your are in US you may have adapted to their sense of humour. The British sense of humour is somewhat different: it is fuelled by subtlety. What dv8 doesn't say is almost as important as what she does say, that is what makes it funny. It requires not just reading the words and seeing the obvious but appreciating subtlety. Hard to do if UK English isn't one's first language but not impossible since dv8 has obviously managed it. Give it a try, Miguel. Search for your appreciation of the subtle. We can wait.
 

SantiagoDR

The "REAL" SantiagoDR
Jan 12, 2006
5,808
948
113
dv8

The VIP fee is not refundable, even if you do not get VIP service.
Or as the Dominican people always say, it's NOT THEIR fault.

Congrats on getting the Residency dv8, I am a little suirprised tho. They would not give me mine until I came back with the Cedula card, you were lucky they gave it to you without having the actual Cedular card in hand.

I think they at least did that part right for you, once your photo was in the computer and the Cedular number issued, you basically had your Cedular and they could continue to issue the Residency card. (See, they do, do some things in this country logically).

I assume you had to still go to the other place to get the Cedular card, or do they do that at Immigration also now?

I must admit also that I really liked the comment (Phrase):

"Dominican Republic, the country that will not adapt to you"

... that is a humorous statement, you have to live here to fully appreciate that comment.
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
santiago dr, i have now a piece of paper that i assume to be a copy of my actual non existing cedula.
i forgot to mention that in order to punish government for my pains i made a face while having my photo taken and now will spot a whining expression for ever on my documents...
so, i presented a paper cedula at the migracion and got residence, easy peasy. apparently it is not the first time it happens....
my major complaint here is why can't my abugado pick up a cedula and send it to me? they already have my pics, my signature and my fingerprints (scary, that!). come to think of it in polonia one has to both apply and pick up own ID...
 

SantiagoDR

The "REAL" SantiagoDR
Jan 12, 2006
5,808
948
113
my major complaint here is why can't my abugado pick up a cedula and send it to me? they already have my pics, my signature and my fingerprints (scary, that!). come to think of it in polonia one has to both apply and pick up own ID...

(1) How much money did you set aside for for greasing palms?

(2) Send it to you? (You must be referring to using Metro/Carribe transport, definitely not the "mail" service).

(3) Remember to check those Dominican Holidays before you head off to SD again.

(4) Remember also, that once before they ran out of "Cedular Card" stock and they just extended the expiration on all the cards for one year.

(5) Another thing, you must wait until AFTER the year shown on the Cedular to renew it, another Dominican Thing. My original had an expiration year of 2004, and when I went to renew it, they said come back in 2005.

i forgot to mention that in order to punish government for my pains i made a face while having my photo taken and now will spot a whining expression for ever on my documents...

My original Residency photo was so bad that even I could not reconize myself, all the photos taken that day looked llike ghostly images......
 

Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
17,850
982
113
No she doesn't. She is recounting a highly amusing narrative using a very British sense of humour. I appreciate your problem in understanding this, Miguel. English isn't your first language is it? And if your are in US you may have adapted to their sense of humour. The British sense of humour is somewhat different: it is fuelled by subtlety. What dv8 doesn't say is almost as important as what she does say, that is what makes it funny. It requires not just reading the words and seeing the obvious but appreciating subtlety. Hard to do if UK English isn't one's first language but not impossible since dv8 has obviously managed it. Give it a try, Miguel. Search for your appreciation of the subtle. We can wait.
Lambada, BushBaby and Chris get it.
Like dv8, I've been bashed on several occasions for whining when attempting observational humour or satire. dv8's sense of humour, while possibly influenced by her time among the Brits, probably also owes a lot to her Polish origins. Remember all those Cold War jokes from the other side of the curtain? The ultimate case of using oneself as the fall-guy while poking fun at the system. For me, the best sense of humour involves the ability to laugh at oneself.

Having said that, I agree that Miguel has coined an excellent new slogan - true on so many levels.
 

M.A.R.

Silver
Feb 18, 2006
3,210
149
63
miguel, spot on, if it was not for minovio i would have never lived here because this country sucks.
but, there you have it - the power of love.

sad you can see i complain - which i do but you can't see the humour, well, whatever, dominicans would not recognize humour even if it slapped them in a face with a wet cedula.

i don't care for DR to change i just care to live somewhere else one day...


you have me rolling on the flo......well i saw humor there...that bit was funny...

...and are you sure you went into a real government agency?....it doesn't sound like a legitimate place and why didn't you lazy "minovio" go with you, maybe its time to get a new 'minovio".
 

dv8

Gold
Sep 27, 2006
31,266
363
0
apparently the place was legal as can be, chiri would go blue in the face seeing all those SUVs of fat abugados in front of the building! c:cheeky:

minovio has to work and EARN THE MONIES. failing to take a day off to come with me i can put up with but NOT EARNING ANY MONEY qualifies as a strong minovios changing factor. ;)
 

planner

.............. ?
Sep 23, 2002
4,409
26
0
dv8 has a very unique sense of humour. Polish birth, years in UK, English as her second language and quite frankly she IS wharped........LOL

She will admit to complaining and whining and makes no apologies for it. My experience is she writes in a very very humorous fashion and she is equally funny in person. Even more so as we get to see those "faces" she makes.....