Do expats feel accepted by Dominicans?

C

Chip00

Guest
I would like to know the member expat's opinions about whether they really feel "accepted" by the Domincan community in which they live and why or why not.

This idea came from another thread so as not to hijack that thread with this topic I decided to start a new one.

My wife is Dominican and it has been my experience that the majority of Domincans I have met and have interacted with have been very accepting of me. I won't hesitate to add that even though I have lived in the states for the majority of my life that I have never felt more accepted anywhere than I do here.

Also, we live in Santiago and used to live in Moca and I understand the attitude of the people that live in the "interior" towards foreigners is substantially different from the attitudes of the locals that live in the tourist areas - which may be one of the reasons for differences in feeling "accepted" by the community. I am interested in hearing everybodies experience and opinions.

Chip
 

AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
519
113
Chip I am not surprised that you have been accepted with open arms by the dominicans. the reason is simple: you have integrated well among the dominicans, you speak very good spanish and you have taken time out to learn about their culture and their customs. I try to do the same and I am glad to admit that I also feel accepted by the vast number of dominicans around me.
AZB
 

MommC

On Vacation!
Mar 2, 2002
4,056
7
0
dr1.com
Well I live in a predominately tourist area.....and my Spanish even after all these years stinks!!
However, I am creating a vegetable garden at a friends house-and the neighbours are doing the work. They laugh at the garden but they know it's for me and so they've offered their help. No I'm not paying them, just for the dirt and the fencing.
Today I had a minor emergency in the PapaTony had to be admitted to a clinic in SPM. He didn't want me driving in SPM so he drove us back to Juan Dolio to park the jeepeta at the condo and a Dominican friend from San Pedro came to pick us up to take us back to San Pedro to the clinic.
Once there he realized he's left his xrays,blood test results etc. in the jeepeta.
Since I was back in Juan Dolio I called a friend (Dominican) in Guayacanes to see if he could come take them back to San Pedro to the clinic (I was hot, tired, stressed and really didn't look forward to traipsing back to where I had just been back and forth four times already today).
Within five minutes another friend (also Dominican) had arrived by motoconcho to relieve me of the xrays and 2 minutes later was on the guagua headed to SPM and the clinic.
Once there he handed over the xrays,stayed for a few hours to be there if anything else was needed and went to the supermarket to purchase a few necessities that we had neglected to think of when we hustled PapaTony to be admitted.
Didn't cost us a cent and I know that tomorrow help is just a phone call away (even with my poor Spanish).
Have we been 'accepted'??? You bet!!!
 

CFA123

Silver
May 29, 2004
3,512
413
83
Chip,
As I started reading your thread I was mentally preparing my answer... but by the end of your post you'd hit on what I was going to say.

When I lived in Santiago, I felt a tie to the community. Co-workers became friends, I became a familiar face at the colmados, restaurants, and other regular stops. They pretty much know you're living there & by default you're part of the Dominican community.

In Cabarete, though I've spent a lot of time there, it's not the same. While you might have one foot in the Dominican community, most people still have the other one firmly planted in the expat/tourist community. (before anyone yells, i realize there are several exceptions!)
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
9,478
410
0
80
www.ginniebedggood.com
I would like to know the member expat's opinions about whether they really feel "accepted" by the Domincan community in which they live

Yes. The beginning signs were there from the get go when there were few expats living where we do, but the 'almost full process' took about 8 years, I'd say. But a lot of expats won't be able to answer this Chip because they don't live in a Dominican community........... I'm serious. They may not even fully understand the implications of the question.
 

jaguarbob

Bronze
Mar 2, 2004
1,427
60
48
I would like to know the member expat's opinions about whether they really feel "accepted" by the Domincan community in which they live and why or why not.

This idea came from another thread so as not to hijack that thread with this topic I decided to start a new one.

My wife is Dominican and it has been my experience that the majority of Domincans I have met and have interacted with have been very accepting of me. I won't hesitate to add that even though I have lived in the states for the majority of my life that I have never felt more accepted anywhere than I do here.

Also, we live in Santiago and used to live in Moca and I understand the attitude of the people that live in the "interior" towards foreigners is substantially different from the attitudes of the locals that live in the tourist areas - which may be one of the reasons for differences in feeling "accepted" by the community. I am interested in hearing everybodies experience and opinions.

Chip

Just about all my contacts here in SD are with Dominicans,and my small house in El LImon is in a all Dominican barrio...I have very little contact with expats,except for my friend who lives in Sosua.and occasionaly here on el conde where the upper class expats congregate daily..and no nothing about Dominican culture...just the girls.....and I agree it is much different on the north coast, there are so many expats living there,and dominicans tend to look at gringos differently
on the whole,I love the regular dominican and especially the people from the lomas and barrios in Samana.
bob
 

Ken

Platinum
Jan 1, 2002
13,884
495
83
My wife and I lived in Samana from 1986 to 1997. Although foreigners were there as tourists and on boats heading toward the Caribbean or north toward the US and Canada, there were very few who lived there. We were very well accepted by the Dominican community and still have friends there. When we go back on an occasional visit, people seem glad to see us, even people we can't remember the names of. Young men who were boys when we lived there come and talk to us about when they carried water jugs for us, etc.

Now I live in Sosua in an area upscale area. There are Dominicans I am very friendly with, but as others have pointed out, it is not the same. Although life is much easier for us now than it was living in Samana in the 1980s and early 1990s, I do not have the same feeling as being part of the community as I did then.
 

KateP

Silver
May 28, 2004
2,845
6
38
After being in the country for 10 years, my co-workers tease me and say that my Canadian passport was bought and I'm really from Moca or whereabouts :cheeky: I totally agree with what everyone's said so far. As long as you try to fit in, make an effort to learn the language and customs and don't have a "superior" attitude, you usually get accepted pretty well.

1 year after arriving to the country, I ended up living in Ensanche Isabelita. Not the new part, the old, poor part. It was funny to see how people actually tended to protect me and watch over me. I'd have to walk from our house on calle 14 up to Los Tres Ojos to catch the bus and almost everyday a neighbour would stick his/her head out the window to see how I was or a more fortunate neighbour would give me a ride, without the intention of flirting with me.

I've found that in general, even with the hardships of the part few years, Dominicans tend to be very friendly, always willing to help and the kind of people that wouldn't hesitate to give you the last bit of food they have to make you feel welcome. That I find is the richest resource they have.
 

cobraboy

Pro-Bono Demolition Hobbyist
Jul 24, 2004
40,964
936
113
I would think there are different levels of acceptance, some with very subtle differences, that takes place over time.

Our esteemed Hillbilly has a different level of acceptance than a seedy whoremonger expat on the North Coast.

"Feeling" accepted and being accepted may be different animals.

It's just part of primordial human nature: it's hard to be fully assimilated into the "pack" as an "outsider". It can be done, no doubt, but it doesn't happen overnight, nor would it happen with all Dominicans.
 

Squat

Tropical geek in Las Terrenas
Jan 1, 2002
2,239
168
63
No problem whatsoever...

In Santiago I don't feel like I am not dominican in the eyes of the locals... In Luperon, back in the 90's, life was easy, and I was really well accepted...

In Las Terrenas, and Saman?, it's ok, but I can see the native of LT & Saman? resent foreigners. They resent that they haven't done anything except selling land, and drinking the money away while playing dominos. As a result they start to feel like 2nd class citizens, since any improvement in LT & Saman? has been the result of efforts made by foreigners or dominicans from Sto Dgo/Santiago/Macoris...

But back to the topic, I still feel very well accepted anywhere, and I must say being fluent in spanish helps a great deal !
 
Feb 7, 2007
8,005
625
113
Been here for 2 years... feel accepted.
The closest friends already told me I am *dominicano adoptado*
yes, I do feel *adopted* by the country and its people, have no problems with the locals, speak the same slang.

I have had no adaptation problems, in my short 26 years I lived in Europe (born), USA, South America and DR. Have no adaptation problems - european culture->american culture->south american culture->caribbean culture. Travelled throughout the world on business, spoke very well spanish when I came, been through and lived through several different cultures, styles, ways of life, ideosyncracies... so adaptation was OK, and acceptance came along.
 
C

Chip00

Guest
Dissenting opinions?

I'm glad so far that the expats that have posted feel like I do that they have been accepted by the Dominican community.

I'm surprised that we don't have any expats that feel like they haven't been accepted - this based on other threads where people were expressing that a gringo would never be accepted by the Dominican's as one of their own. I know there is a substantial number too. I would like to hear everybodies opinion regardless of stance.
 

djlawlaw

New member
Jul 6, 2006
142
2
0
This thread was really inspiring. I want to thank the moderator for picking such a topic. I just recently moved here and was wondering if I would ever be accepted. I have met a few Dominicans here and they have treated me like a neighbor. My Spanish is not great, but I am learning more and more each day. I feel that as soon as my Spanish becomes flawless, I will be accepted more and more. It also helps that I look Dominican or so I am told.
 

Ricardo900

Silver
Jul 12, 2004
3,269
37
48
I Have One!

I'm glad so far that the expats that have posted feel like I do that they have been accepted by the Dominican community.

I'm surprised that we don't have any expats that feel like they haven't been accepted - this based on other threads where people were expressing that a gringo would never be accepted by the Dominican's as one of their own. I know there is a substantial number too. I would like to hear everybodies opinion regardless of stance.

I knew an expat living in Santiago for almost a year and he was definitely not accepted, they didn't like him and stole from him every chance they got and I mean steal anything that isn't bolted down. His attitude was "screw you too" and it made the situation worse. I guess the point of the story is, if you act hospitable and try to fit in, you should be fine. Dominicans are real easy going, including the ones in NYC. If you go against the grain, buck the system and try to do it you're way you'll lose everytime.
 
Last edited:

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
5,485
338
63
I feel I am well acccepted too. I think being married to a Dominican helps and it certainlyhelps speaking Spanish. Everyone is still very protective of me, especially since I was shot - all the motoconchos take me anywhere for free for example, and everyone is always asking how I am. However there are some foreigners who are not as well accepted - if they don't speak Spanish, if they treat people badly, as they do not behave as they are used to in their own country, and if they constantly criticise - then they have more problems I think.

Matilda
 

Ken

Platinum
Jan 1, 2002
13,884
495
83
However there are some foreigners who are not as well accepted - if they don't speak Spanish, if they treat people badly, as they do not behave as they are used to in their own country, and if they constantly criticise - then they have more problems I think.

You have hit the nail on the head, Matilda. It is the attitude of the foreigner that is most important. Demonstrating that you are learning the language is more important than speaking perfect Spanish, djlawlaw. Lots of Dominicans are trying to learn English or another language and they know how much time and practice this requires. Doing your best in Spanish is part of how you demonstrate acceptance of the people and the country, and this helps to get their acceptance of you.

People are sensitive and can tell if they are accepted by you as equals, or if you consider them second class citizens, not quite as smart or capable as you and people like you in your own country. Anyone with that attitude is never going to be accepted here, and expats like me won't want you around, either.
 

Lambada

Gold
Mar 4, 2004
9,478
410
0
80
www.ginniebedggood.com
People are sensitive and can tell if they are accepted by you as equals, or if you consider them second class citizens, not quite as smart or capable as you and people like you in your own country. Anyone with that attitude is never going to be accepted here, and expats like me won't want you around, either.

I'll second that!!

The other thing I notice is a certain wistfulness among those of us who arrived when there weren't all that many foreigners here.......... which sends a message to people thinking of moving here. Don't go to areas saturated by foreigners.
 

manunut

New member
Nov 17, 2006
272
2
0
Things Not So Real In Tourist Zones

just want to comment on you 1st line about being in moca and santiago as opposed to a tourist zone.
i have lived worked in all but 2.i have also lived in non tourist zones and barrios in sto.domg.in a nbr of the tourist zones your just seen as a mark more or less as opposed to human by dominicans who are more "fly by night"than us ex-pats that live here.
what i mean is the "centeres"of all tourist zones attract guys and girls from all other parts of the country and it's a bit the "streets are paved with gold"attitude.as in ALL gringos,especially of a cocasian nature will be looked upon as a cash cow.when you live in the barrios-non tourist zones the people dont/cant mix you up with all the other joe's,so yes you get to know the real people a hell of a lot more and they appreciate your presence/custom etc:much,much more.
an awful lot of natives DO look at ALL gringos in the vast nbr of tourist zones as......well scumbags,drunks,whore mongers,mafiosos etc etc.living in guyacanes as opposed to juan dolio(next door)or sabanetta as opposed to cabarette or sosua does mean you get a lot more acceptance or "normal"treatment in my personal experienced.
 

jackieboo

On Vaction without a return ticket!
Mar 18, 2006
362
0
0
Accepted where?

I think the question should be more like "where do you feel accepted in the Dominican Republic?"

On the streets of Sosua, no. On the beach in Cabarete, no. At the Car Wash on a Friday night, you bet!

I don't find it so different here than I did in the U.S. Every person is an individual and by grouping them in to 'THE DOMINICANS' and 'THE GRINGOS' is demeaning to both demographics? Each persons reason for living here is different, me, I didn't come here to become a Dominican. I came here to just 'be' me.

I love my Dominican friends and I love my Gringo friends, it's all about the people and not the stereotype.
 

Rick Snyder

Silver
Nov 19, 2003
2,321
2
0
When I moved here in July of 96 I spent my first 4 months living in SD. I was looked upon as a 'cash cow' but that was of my own doing. Not being able to say a single word in Spanish helped the 'cash cow' image escalate. After moving out here to El Seybo and putting all my faith in the hands of my soon to be Dominican wife I soon lost that 'cash cow' image. The fact that there were no ex-pats in the vacinity made my necessity to learn Spanish paramount due to the fact that my wife knew no English.

So here we are almost 11 years later and I feel accepted by the Dominicans in my little corner of the world. Being married to a Dominican may have helped but with the disposition of the Dominican people I don't think it matters. I guess I feel fortunate in the fact that there are no other ex-pats in my neck of the woods because of the things that are posted on this board by those that live around them.

Am I accepted by every Dominican in my little town? No I don't think so but in all honesty I don't expect or desire to be except by 100% of the population here. To be accepted by all would require to be accepted by the bad element too and that is not my desire.

Like Jack I came here not to be Dominican but to be me and live watching my son grow up and my dying here.

Rick
 
Last edited: