Jealousy & Gossip and the Dominicano/a

J

jrf

Bronze
Jan 9, 2005
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Okay, so I just came back from a two week stay in the RD.

(the last two galleries are my latest photos jamesfriesen's Photo Galleries at pbase.com)

I have been there numerous times the last two years and have always had a cell phone but usually was the one to call first or to stop by their homes to visit.

The last two times I have been more busy than usual helping out with the project there so I decided to see who would call me.
Well, it turns out that my cell phone was pretty quiet.

I spend a lot of time with some of the Haitians in the Sosua/Batey/PoP area as well as having just as many Dominicano friends.
As it turns out someone started a rumour that I was with a Haitiana and was asked if I slept with her.

I said 'no' and what were they talking about?
Turns out the normal hug, or hand shake, or joking greating was not there nor wanted.
She didn't even want me to come near her.

She did come out and say that they were jealous of my time and my 'novia' probably had Aids and all Haitians are bad.

Well, I guess it was my first taste of racism. I know they are different people but to me even since the first trip they are the same-much as most people are equal.

I was really taken aback. I will have to wait and see what will happen.

Is it the jealousy thing? or the racism thing? She basicly said she was 'racista' and felt that was okay.
I'm saddened by this sign of ignorance and am not sure how welcome I will be when I return.

Thoughts?
 
R

Rocky

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Apr 4, 2002
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www.rockysbar.com
Dominicans have had wars with the Haitians and have never had a friendly relationship with them.
It's no more strange than Jews and Arabs fighting for centuries.
Combine that with the fact that Haiti was the aids capital of the Western hemisphere, when it first came into the public eye, and you have a situation without solution.
Dominicans will never like Haitians.
 
A

aleco

New member
Apr 28, 2005
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Good old Jealousy!

Jrf,

As a Haitian-American, most of my closest friends are Dominicans; and we have no problems with each other?s culture/race. So I think what happened with your Novia is probably more in the line of jealousy than racism.

Your girlfriend is probably jealous that you decided to share some of your time with the Haitians instead of her. She?d probably feel just as jealous if you spend most of your time with Germans, Americans, Canadians etc? It?s just that the mere factor that they are Haitians make it a bit more irritating because of Dominicans? perceptions of the Haitians living in the DR.

Please don?t feel that ALL Dominicans HATE Haitians because of what happened. At least it?s not so from my personal experience with my Dominicans friends (both here in the States and in the DR).

Just, my 2 cents?
 
J

jrf

Bronze
Jan 9, 2005
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Thanks aleco. The dominicana is not actually my novia but a friend and I know her husband and her family as well.

Funny thing is and a great surprise is that she actually phoned me today here in Canada.

With each trip I learn a bit more and being more assimilated (a bit any way) and after getting to know people a bit more you get deeper into the things of life that do matter.

Friends are friends and people are people. I love both cultures deeply.
 
A

azabache

New member
Apr 25, 2006
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You are not alone

jrf said:
I'm saddened by this sign of ignorance and am not sure how welcome I will be when I return.
Click to expand...
Ignorance is exactly the problem...and it's the ignorance that brings on the jealousy.
Somehow it seems that every racial group or class needs another group to put their foot on so that they can feel a little taller....very sad. My Dominican wife had a similar experience here in Chicago. She (we) met and made friends with a large Puerto Rican family. We were embraced and accepted just like we were born into the family. One day one of the Puerto Rican family members saw my wife hanging out with a Mexican lady and some of her family members who she had met at the local gymnasium. Word traveled back to the rest of the PR family and soon almost everyone began to treat her (and me too) rather coolly. It's not just ignorance and jealousy,.....it's stupidity too.
 
K

Kyle

Silver
Jun 2, 2006
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it is what it is....we have the same situations here in the US. you don't have a problem, others do.

quiet as its kept there are a lot of people on DR1 that are not as friendly as they promote on this site.

but thats another thread....
 
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