Dominican "secret" to happiness?

I my experience away from the tourist areas here in Cibao, I have made the observation that inspite of all the problems they have here, Dominicans generally seem happier even though they have less material wealth. Dominicans are much more socially open that say Americans or Europeans this based on my experience as an American and my somewhat extensive travelling in Europe.

For example, I find it much more easier here in the DR to make casual acquaintances that in the States or Europe. Here in the DR I can greet perfect strangers and start up a conversation with a smile and Dominicans generally respond quite well whereas in the States or Europe if I tried to start up a conversation with a unknown fellow more than likely I would be seen as "odd" at best but more than likely as "gay".

If it was a women in the States or Europe, it may seem as an intent to be promiscuous and depending on how pretty she thought she was compared to me she may not even respond or a minimal response as possible - this I know becasue it has happened to me(hell I'm ugly what can I say).

Also, if I were to greet a small unknown child in the street in the States at least one would be labled as a potential child molester. In the DR you are looked at as odd if you have a cold heart for children.

I'm curious to know what is happening to the Western countries? My mother said when she grew up in the US in the 40's everybody knew their neighbor. Where I grew up as we became older more and more neighbors to their very best to avoid one another. Where we lived for 4 years in Orlando we were friends with only one couple across the street and the others were basically unknown. Here in the Dr I know all of my neighbors and if I'm feeling like a need to a little gibber jabber to brighten my day well I'll just step out of the house and find a neighbor to chat with. Guess what, here if a neighbor sees you coming they won't run inside or try to pretend that they don't see you. Maybe it has to do with something that the US has a severe problem with deviant behaviour and thus people have adjusted. In fact I searched a list of registered sex offenders within 5 miles of my house and there were over 300, quite scary.

I already have two very good friends here in the DR which is more than twice that I had when I lived in the States. I don't think Dominican guys are so self conscious about being "approached" by a gay guy that they put up some kind of front. For this reason I must already have like 10 acquaintainces that I could call up and go over their house to have a cold one or two. I also don't think that the real beauties here(there are thousands of them mind you) feel like they are waisting their time having a polite if somewhat frivolous conversation with a ugly sad sack like me.

I grew up in the Deep South, Charleston SC, where supposedly genteelness reigns. In fact it was voted as the friendliest City in the US at some point. However, I can tell you it is not even in the same league as Cibao. I don't understand why things are like they are with respect to valuing genteelness and the family so much but I sure hope it never changes. Maybe this is why Dominicans don't seem to get to riled about all the goings on around them, heck when they can just step out of the house and invite the neighbor over for a bite and a cold one and a good conversation about baseball.

montreal said:

Woohooo! ; )
Is it hot in here?

Click to expand...

Ok I'm blushing. However, you haven't seen me in person and obviously I'll only post the best looking photos of me. Fact is, when I was growing up I must have been been rejected more times than the humback of Notre Dame. I've had girls hang up on the phone in mid conversation, completely ignore me when asked if they would like to dance and otherwise ignore me for most of my adult life.

I've been thinking why is it that Dominicans and Europeans/Americans on the most part differ with respect to friendliness, and I think it must have to do with trust.

I think most Dominicans trust that in informal situations that the other person will not show aggression and behave in a respectable manner. This gives the "greeter" confidence that they won't be "shown up" or ridiculed in front of others.

On the other hand Europeans/Americans seem to have an uneasy time with respect to meeting with strangers with an underlying tension whether based in something sexual or certain readiness to "defend" oneself, either by words or physical means.

When you get down to it the Dominicans "method" is certainly superior and more advanced culturally IMO. I base this on the opinion that with regard to cultural aspects such as this, the ultimate form of said aspects would be one where it embodies the application of the "Golden Rule".

What is interesting is that it could be said that because the Northen Europeans are more primitive in this aspect of social interaction that they have had by necessity to create more laws to compensate for their lack of initial "trust" in strangers. By the same token, therefore one could postualte that Dominicans, because of initial ability to trust strangers, have therefore not had the necessity to implement complicated laws like the Northern Europeans in order to keep the "peace".

An example of this in practice would be the interaction betweeen family members. Typically, family members establish "rules" if you will based on verbal agreement and trust where each party believes and knows that the other family members will not make decisions or take actions to compromise or hurt them. If you apply this to a societal level, it could be postualted that this is the reason that some societies characterized by this type of "familial" social aspect have "lagged" with respect to Northern European types societies with regard to creating complex legal systems. Simply put the Dominicans have not had the pressing need to create similar complex legal systems that characterizes the Northern European societies as it functions more or less closer to the "honor sytem" type of social interaction.

The odd thing is that it would seem to be apparent that there are some distinct advantages of the Northern European type of system. One it keeps people "honest" because they fear retribution but a positive side effect is that people more or less have confidence that the other person will be responsible with respect to their social responsiblities because of this manmade "accountability", ie laws.

However, this type of "system" has it's limitations - basically to what can be "governed" by law. Since for the most part laws don't necessarily dictate (as of yet anyway) norms social interaction (ie how to greet somebody) therefore people are not held accountable for their actions, more or less, in Northern European systems and therefore, becasue of this inherent lack of structure, lack confidence that "strangers" will act in a respectable manner(because they don't have to).

The Dominican system is quitre different of course and obviously has it's advantages as is apparent. There are some obvious disadvantages to this type of system as most would already suspect. Obviously, with a "familial/honor" type of system there is felt less of a need to have complicated legal systems like that of the Northern European and therefore laws aren't as strong. However, such a system will be more readily open to abuse as there are fewer "checks" in place to keep people honest, as is readily apparent here in the DR with the amount of corruption with respect to abuse of public monies.

The next question is how do we take the best from both and is it even possible? Modern societies have learned over the centuries from the previous societies for instance the Persians, Greeks, Romans, etc and I don't see why we shouldn't expect it to continue to evolve. How to put it into practice would be intersting to say the least. All I know is it that the DR could be one of the better places to live on this planet if they could have some leaders who wouldn't abuse he system so much. No how do we get the people to change their way of thinking to propose laws that actually can be enforced without getting rid of their socially superior ability to trust?