Hormone Hostage

THE HORMONE HOSTAGE KNOWS THAT THERE ARE DAYS IN THE MONTH WHEN ALL A MAN HAS TO DO IS OPEN HIS MOUTH & HE TAKES HIS LIFE INTO HIS OWN HANDS! THIS IS A HANDY GUIDE THAT SHOULD BE AS COMMON AS A DRIVER'S LICENSE IN THE WALLET OF EVERY HUSBAND, BOYFRIEND, CO-WORKER, OR SIGNIFICANT OTHER!

DANGEROUS: WHAT'S FOR DINNER?

SAFER: CAN I HELP YOU WITH DINNER?

SAFEST: WHERE WOULD YOU LIKE TO GO FOR DINNER?

ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE



DANGEROUS: ARE YOU WEARING THAT?

SAFER: WOW, YOU SURE LOOK GOOD IN BROWN!

SAFEST: WOW! LOOK AT YOU!

ULTRA-SAFE; HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: WHAT ARE YOU SO WORKED UP ABOUT?

SAFER: COULD WE BE OVERREACTING?

SAFEST: HERE'S MY PAYCHECK.

ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: SHOULD YOU BE EATING THAT?

SAFER: YOU KNOW, THERE ARE A LOT OF APPLES LEFT.

SAFEST: CAN I GET YOU A PIECE OF CHOCOLATE WITH THAT?

ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME WINE.


DANGEROUS: WHAT DID YOU DO ALL DAY?

SAFER: I HOPE YOU DIDN'T OVER-DO IT TODAY.

SAFEST: I'VE ALWAYS LOVED YOU IN THAT ROBE!

ULTRA SAFE: HERE, HAVE SOME MORE WINE.


13 THINGS PMS STANDS FOR:

1. PASS MY SHOTGUN

2. PSYCHOTIC MOOD SWING

3. PERPETUAL MUNCHING SPREE

4. PUFFY MID-SECTION

5. PEOPLE MAKE me SICK

6. PROVIDE ME with SWEETS

7. PARDON MY SOBBING

8. PIMPLES MAY SURFACE

9. PASS MY SWEATS

10. ****Y MOOD SYNDROME

11. POOR MEN SUCK

12. PACK MY STUFF

& MY FAVORITE ONE
13. POTENTIAL MURDER SUSPECT