Drunken Irishman

pedrodominicus

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Dec 2, 2003
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking.":p
 

Bronxboy

Well-known member
Jul 11, 2007
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An Irishman walks into a bar in Dublin, orders three pints of Guinness and sits in the back of the room, drinking a sip out of each one in turn. When he finishes them, he comes back to the bar and orders three more. The bartender asks him, "You know, a pint goes flat after I draw it; it would taste better if you bought one at a time." The Irishman replies, "Well, you see, I have two brothers. One is in America, the other in Australia, and I'm here in Dublin. When we all left home, we promised that we'd drink this way to remember the days when we drank together." The bartender admits that this is a nice custom, and leaves it there.

The Irishman becomes a regular in the bar, and always drinks the same way: ordering three pints and drinking them in turn. One day, he comes in and orders two pints. All the other regulars notice and fall silent. When he comes back to the bar for the second round, the bartender says, "I don't want to intrude on your grief, but I wanted to offer my condolences on your great loss." The Irishman looks confused for a moment, then a light dawns in his eye and he laughs. "Oh, no," he says, "Everyone's fine. I've just quit drinking.":p

good one!!!
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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In the same vein:


Paddy had been drinking at his local Dublin pub all day and most of the
night. Mick, the bartender, says "You'll not be drinking any more tonight,
Paddy."

Paddy replies "OK Mick, I'll be on my way then". Paddy spins around on his
stool and steps off. He falls flat on his face. "What the...." he says and
pulls himself up by the stool and dusts himself off.

He takes a step towards the door and falls flat on his face again. "Damn!"
he says.

He looks to the doorway and thinks that if he can just get to the door and
get some fresh air he'll be fine. He belly crawls to the door and shimmies
up the door frame. He sticks his head outside and takes a deep breath of
fresh air, feels much better and takes a step out onto the pavement and
falls flat on his face.

"Bi'Jesus... I'm soused," he says.

He can see his house just a few doors down, and decides to try for it. He
crawls down the street and shimmies up the door frame, opens the door and
looks inside. He takes a look up the stairs and says, "No flappin' way."

But he somehow crawls up the stairs to his bedroom door and thinks, "I think
I can make it to the bed." He takes a step into the room and falls flat on
his face again. He says, "This is hell. I gotta stop drinking," but manages
to crawl to the bed and fall in.

The next morning, his wife comes into the room carrying a cup of coffee and
says, "Get up Paddy. Did you have a bit to drink last night?"

Paddy says, "I did Jess. I was totally p!ssfaced. But how'd you know?"

"Mick called.. You left your wheelchair at the pub."

HB, "wishin' ye all top o' the day!!"
 

Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
9,099
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This thread portrays the Irish...............

(sorry the kid from the colmado was at the door with my beer)

as a bunch of drunks. Is this appropriate? ......hic...... :knockedou
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
18,948
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Of course not. but it is good humor!~~~ We could do Polish jokes, or other ethnically inappropriate jokes, but the Irish are easier to deal with....

HB
 

DOMINCAN BOY

On Vacation!
Jun 6, 2006
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A burly Irishman is drinking in a bar. A tiny gay fellow sits beside him. After a few beers, the gay guy whispers, ?Do you want a blow job??

The gigantic man flips out, roars in anger, and tosses the little guy out of the bar, then returns to his stool.

The shocked bartender says, ?I?ve never seen you react like that. What did that guy say??

?Dunno. Something about a job.?