Tom F., I LOVE your suggestion!
The wedding traditions in the DR are pretty much the same as the rest of the western world.
Usually the man proposes. If the couple decides to have a church wedding/reception then the preparations are mostly done by the bride's family. Weddings can be expensive and so some people opt to have smaller gatherings or just marry in civil court. The wedding industry (and yes, I call it an industry) is cashing in everywhere, including the DR and US. The average wedding (whatever that means) here in the US costs about $25,000. That's a good downpayment on a home, a kid's year (or two) of college tuition, ect. etc, but whatever ones want to do, more power to him/her, right?
Those Dominicans that can afford it throw the biggest bashes in town and you read all about them in the pages Ritmo Social ;-)
Dominican weddings are more similar to certain European weddings. For example, the day of the wedding would consist of actually two weddings - the civil ceremony and the church ceremony. The couple would marry in civil court or in a judge's chamber the morning of the wedding or even the day before the actual church wedding. My husband and I didn't have to do this two years ago when we got married though. The priest made us sign the marriage certificate during the actual church ceremony, which fulfilled the legal part of the wedding.
Also, the American tradition of having a bridal party, i.e. bridesmaids/groomsmen, etc. etc., is not that popular in the DR. What is more traditional at home is to have children in your wedding - the ring bearer, the flower girls, etc. Though American weddings do have children in the wedding party at times, it is becoming more popular to have adults than children. By the same token, you don't know how many times my husband and I have gotten wedding invitations that read 'adults only" wedding. To me, children provide a certain innocense and warmth to weddings that it's just unimaginable for me to keep them out of weddings :-( But that's just me, I suppose.
Another difference is that we have what we call "padrinos and madrinas" - literally godparents of the wedding. The godparents of the wedding are usually the mother of the groom and the father of the bride and their role is to serve as witnesses. Along with the couple, the godparents also sign the marriage certificate. You can also have other "madrinas" (godmothers) for certain aspects of the wedding. This does not have the same significance as the role of the parents mentioned above though. Bluntly, this only means that the "madrina" is going to contribute (financially) towards something - the wedding cake is the most common.
Another tradition that we have is to have a child (usually a boy) carry what we call the "arras" or coins. On a silver tray, the boy would have 13 coins (they are usually 10 cents coins) that at some point during the ceremony will be passed to the priest. The priest will pass them to the groom and he in turn will pass them to the bride. Briefly, this whole exchange signifies that the couple plegdes to provide for each other and that material goods are to be shared equally. The whole thing is very symbolic and actually more romantic than I have described it.
In addition to the flower girl, the ring bearer and the coins bearer, we also have a child that carries a bible, which is something that I have never seen in the US. To give you a better idea of the whole thing, this is how we did it for our wedding: We had four children (all cousins of mine) in the wedding ranging in ages from 5 to 12. We had the ring bearer, the coins bearer, a flower girl and the oldest child, 12, carrying a fancy white bible. To include some American traditions, we had my husband's brother serve as pseudo best man and my sister as maid of honor of sorts
The processional is different as well. Mother of the groom and groom escorting her enter the church first. Mother of the bride is escorted by the father of the groom, second. Wedding party comes next. In our case, the children walked in in pairs (hah... they looked so cute) and finally my father and I walked in.
We had a Roman Catholic ceremony which lasted a whopping 1:30 hours - thank goodness we were sitting throughout it, with the occassional standings/kneelings for Communion, signing of marriage certificate, etc.
Oh, I almost forgot, another Dominican tradition is to have what is called a "ceremonia cantada" meaning that every piece of music was actually sung, instead of being just instrumental. The processional music was a sung Ave Maria. "Por Amor" was also sung halfway and "Eres Tu" was the recessional song.
We followed the ceremony with pictures and then proceeded to have the reception in the Colonial Zone. Many couples choose hotel receptions, but that option never crossed our minds since we wanted a site with a lot more character and romantic atmosphere. It used to be that Dominican wedding receptions consisted mostly of cake and champagne, along with light appetizers at best. Today, sitdown dinners are in vogue. I didn't want people to be confined to a set table, so we had people mingling by having food stations throughout the courtyards. We also had a buffet table.
I broke tradition by not having hard liquor at the reception ("what, no wiskey" said one of my uncles). We wanted our reception to really reflect our family's entertaining style - for us, the most important things were to have high quality wines (you definitely find great labels in Sto Dgo), and exquisite champagne, extraordinary food and the most delicious cake! Our expense went to having the above things instead of having multiple cheaper stuff.
I also forgot to mention that we too have the usual pre-wedding festivities that you have here in the US. Usually, there's a bachelor party (despedida de soltero) and what you call a bachelorette party (despedida de soltera). There is also the usual bridal showers. Hubby's bachelor party took place in the DR. All the males, including the dads went to Casa de Campo to tackle the Teeth of the Dog. My Dominican girlfriends had a more raunchy idea for my bridal shower, including giving me the usual racy undergarments, making certain jokes, and having some passed appetizers in the form of, shall I say, a certain male organ. To this day, I still don't know who's idea that was. What we don't have at home is the American tradition of the rehersal dinner that is hosted by the groom's family.
The reception was a blast! We started out with a small band and then moved on to a DJ so that we could have a variety of music for our mixed crowd (Dominicans, Americans, Finnish, English, Japanese and believe it or not an Egyptian/Omani couple). In an attempt to provide "international" music, the DJ's first English selection was U2's "Bloody Monday" or is it Sunday? We all had a blank look for a moment, but then he got it together quickly and changed to more "appropriate" festive songs. The crowd never stopped dancing for the rest of the night - shoes and ties were taken off to the sounds of merengue, cumbia, ballads, a bit of reggae (Jimmy Cliff's Reggae Night sticks in my mind) and American music.
Things we skipped for the reception were the usual rituals of the bride throwing the bouquet - I kept mine as we travelled to our honeymoon, and the garter belt thingy. I personally had never seen the ritual of the groom removing the garter belt from the bride until I started attending American weddings. I had been to around 12 Dominican weddings before coming to the US and never saw that ritual. So, we skipped that. The whole thing didn't appealed to my husband anyway.
Hubby and I were EXHAUSTED around 12:15 am and there still many folks around then. Dominicans LIKE TO PARTY!!! We decided to leave anyway and we spent the first night in a small hotel in the Colonial Zone, which was perfect! The next day we headed for our honeymoon in the Samana Peninsula and Punta Cana (two weeks in all)
Many couples decide to honeymoon in Samana. My own parents had honeymoon there, but suprisingly, I had never been to Samana, though my Dad insists I was conceived there
Aside from Samana, Puerto Plata and Punta Cana are also very popular destinations. Many other couples choose to go abroad - popular destinations are: in the US, New York City, Miami; in Europe, Spain, Paris, Italy and Greece. Surprisingly, not too many couples choose to honeymoon in other Caribbean islands.
Well, I think I have covered all. If there is anything I have missed, I am sure other Dominicans on the board can fill in. Keep in mind that my wedding was a bit different and I was marrying an American so there were certain non-Dominican elements incorporated. Good luck!
Regards,
Natasha
