What to buy to someone who's difficult to give gifts to?

mariel

Dominisueca
Apr 7, 2004
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6
0
And that someone is my mom. Her birthday is this Feb (I'm actually going to be there this year) and I'm clueless (as my sisters are) about what to give her, and here's why:

- she doesn't want any house-related gift (and with reason)
- she was given a gift certificate from Casa Mora but came back home complaining she didn't find anything to her liking. BUT if she's just window shopping then she finds 100 things she'd like to get (bad timing maybe?)
- when I gave her jewelry she didn't wear it at work (I'm not saying when she goes to work, but after she's come to her office and in the security of those 4 walls)
- when my sister gave her a set containing a body cream and a body splash, she rejected the gift and said they didn't smell like anything
- once a LONG time ago she said Avon perfumes and creams smelled like cockroach (how does a cockroach smell?)
- being that she's a very independent woman, she won't accept money from me (and to her that'd be a tacky gift)
- books, CD's, etc. are a no-no (don't ask)
- for some unknown reason to me and my sisters, she won't let us take her out to dinner or to a weekend in an AI.

I don't know what she likes when it comes to clothes and I don't know her size either, so I don't want to risk buying some pieces here that she'll reject. I made her a photo album with photos from my travels and will give it to her then, and I was thinking about a pair of shoes and a matching purse (my sister would have to find out her size and if her style has changed since I was last there) but I'd like alternatives, if possible. I'm a very practical person and my motto is "if I don't like it I don't give it away".

Let it be known that I'm not complaining about how she is, but how she makes the situation more difficult than it can be.

So, any ideas?

Moderator: feel free to move this thread to a better forum if by any chance I posted it on the wrong one.

PS: Is this read DR related? Yes, both me, my mother and my sisters are Dominican born and raised, but I live in Europe.
 
Last edited:

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
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www.rockysbar.com
And that someone is my mom. Her birthday is this Feb (I'm actually going to be there this year) and I'm clueless (as my sisters are) about what to give her, and here's why:

- she doesn't want any house-related gift (and with reason)
- she was given a gift certificate from Casa Mora but came back home complaining she didn't find anything to her liking. BUT if she's just window shopping then she finds 100 things she'd like to get (bad timing maybe?)
- when I gave her jewelry she didn't wear it at work (I'm not saying when she goes to work, but after she's come to her office and in the security of those 4 walls)
- when my sister gave her a set containing a body cream and a body splash, she rejected the gift and said they didn't smell like anything
- once a LONG time ago she said Avon perfumes and creams smelled like cockroach (how does a cockroach smell?)
- being that she's a very independent woman, she won't accept money from me (and to her that'd be a tacky gift)
- books, CD's, etc. are a no-no (don't ask)
- for some unknown reason to me and my sisters, she won't let us take her out to dinner or to a weekend in an AI.

I don't know what she likes when it comes to clothes and I don't know her size either, so I don't want to risk buying some pieces here that she'll reject. I made her a photo album with photos from my travels and will give it to her then, and I was thinking about a pair of shoes and a matching purse (my sister would have to find out her size and if her style has changed since I was last there) but I'd like alternatives, if possible. I'm a very practical person and my motto is "if I don't like it I don't give it away".

Let it be known that I'm not complaining about how she is, but how she makes the situation more difficult than it can be.

So, any ideas?

Moderator: feel free to move this thread to a better forum if by any chance I posted it on the wrong one.

PS: Is this read DR related? Yes, both me, my mother and my sisters are Dominican born and raised, but I live in Europe.
Buy her a two week vacation to the DR.
 

Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
17,850
982
113
How about a pampering session at a spa, or a day out somewhere, with a meal in a nice restaurant?
 

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
Buy her some nice hair products like Sebastian and a bottle of perfume. These could easily set you back US100 but she would really appreciate it. A nice bottle of lotion would be icing on the cake.
 

marliejaneca

Bronze
Oct 7, 2003
980
10
0
How about a pampering session at a spa, or a day out somewhere, with a meal in a nice restaurant?

Excellent suggestion, Chiri.

Also,

You could maybe go "window shopping" on your way to a restaurant and when she sees something she likes, run into the store and buy it for her right then and there - that way "bad timing" would turn into "good timing!"

Chip - she had already stated she didn't like her last gift of lotions etc. If she is anything like me - I find perfume a personal thing, some scents just don't work well on some woman. Example: I can use Calvin Klein Eternity but Calvin Klein Escape just smells horrible on me!! LOL She would have to find out what scent she likes etc. which would then maybe ruin the surprise.

Marlie
 

miguel

I didn't last long...
Jul 2, 2003
5,261
2
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113
Muy facil.......

VERY, VEEEEEEEEEERY easy.

This is how us (siblings and I) dealt with my mom (granted, she was NOT a complainer when a gift was given to her....because even if she didn't like the gift, there's no way in hell she would have said anything negative about it...because she wouldn't want to offend the giver!):

One of us would ask her to write down 15 things she would like you have, WHATEVER she could think of......

Then we would get her 8 (because we are 8.....we asked for 15 so she wouldn't know what she was going to get) of the things she wanted.

It became a routine and it worked like a sharm!!.

 

Chip

Platinum
Jul 25, 2007
16,772
429
0
Santiago
Excellent suggestion, Chiri.

Also,

You could maybe go "window shopping" on your way to a restaurant and when she sees something she likes, run into the store and buy it for her right then and there - that way "bad timing" would turn into "good timing!"

Chip - she had already stated she didn't like her last gift of lotions etc. If she is anything like me - I find perfume a personal thing, some scents just don't work well on some woman. Example: I can use Calvin Klein Eternity but Calvin Klein Escape just smells horrible on me!! LOL She would have to find out what scent she likes etc. which would then maybe ruin the surprise.

Marlie

Sorry I didn't remeber about the creams, but what about Sebastian hair products? I hav bought this stuff many times over the yers fro the wife. Typically I would get a shampoo, conditioner and a treatemnt which would usually set me back around US50.

Also, she could have her mother made a fitted suit as it is apparent that she still works. These are what the majority of the professional women wear here and will cost around RD1500 with the material.

Also, too a nice camera phone would be nice, of course she will need a computer to download the pictures if she doesn't have one.

Finally, a gift of money maybe what she really wants, but just doesn't want to come out and ask for it.
 

margaret

Bronze
Aug 9, 2006
1,222
99
48
- Collect images of everyone in the family past and present, make her an amazing scrapbook (or get one of her grandchildren to make it).
 

corsair74

Bronze
Jul 3, 2006
1,330
116
0
Always works for me.

American Express gift card.

With picky women, I've always found it best to do gift cards. And with an AE gift card, she could use it anywhere that takes American Express.

Granted, it's not as impressive as a gift you've actually put tons of thought into and spent time shopping for. But it's also nowhere near as tacky and unoriginal as giving your girl money either.

And to top it off, it will give her an excuse to go shopping. Perfecto! The only downside being that you may have to go shopping with her.

Good luck.


Vince.
 

AZB

Platinum
Jan 2, 2002
12,290
519
113
me confused, I thought your mom died many years ago. So you must be talking about the lady who acted like your mom in SD.
lets see, how about taking her to a beach house for a week and we all join you. I will make my famous tandoori chicken for her.
AZB
 

mariel

Dominisueca
Apr 7, 2004
514
6
0
Thank you everyone. You've given me plenty of ideas to explore. Who knows, maybe I'll end up making a goodie bag.

AZB & Chiri: no problem, I can understand you/he only saw Mxxxel and thought it was your/his brother of another mother ;)
 

expatsooner

Bronze
Aug 7, 2004
712
11
0
I agree with Margaret - photos turned into scrapbooks/calendars/mugs etc are in my opinion the best gifts for those hard to buy for loved ones.

We don't live close to my family at present so my mom and grandma loved their Christmas present that my sister and I arranged. We gathered up photos of each little family group (aunts/uncles with spouse/children) and used them to make a page for a 12 month calender.

I"ve also had photos turned into puzzles, coasters and all sorts of things as gifts. The web site Kodakgallery is good for me since I live out of the country but there are tons of sites and other places such as Walgreens that offer lots of options such as printing up your photos in a hard back book.
 

DrChrisHE

On Probation!
Jul 23, 2006
599
0
0
Hey--is your mom my grandma? Boy do I know this story. NOTHING anyone gives her EVER passes--it's either too expensive, 'you shouldn't have' or 'can't accept that." It drives us all nuts! I think you are a wonderful human-being for NOT giving up! I find it especially difficult when I put a lot of thought into a gift and people do this.

I don't know what your budget is but I do like the spa idea but ALL of you go together. You could do something like a MYSTERY day where you blindfold her and bring her to the spa, beauty salon and then a nice meal. WHILE at the salon and spa, take note to whether she likes anything specific and most places will sell you consumer sized products or you could later go out and get them and make a "basket" of her favs. How about a new cell phone or camera? Both are of higher quality out of the DR than in.

I do like Miguel's suggestion and it is what my kids do with me (they are 9, 12, and 17 and how many macaroni sculptures can one really use?) I usually give them a broad price range so if they want to collaborate, they can get something nice (usually with dh chipping in) OR services given by them (one of my kids loves to do foot massages) OR specific creations that each excels in such as Charcol or Prismacolor drawings.

Our extended family is big on gift cards: iTunes, Body Shop, Face Shop, online catalogs, Walmart, CostCo, or dept stores that have online ordering. You'll probably have to help her with it but it IS a way around giving money. Restaurants even have gift certificates now.

I absolutely agree that buying perfume for someone else is a bad idea unless you KNOW they have a "signature" scent.

The window shopping was a great one too but I wouldn't go buy it in front of her; have one of you go back and get it and surprise her.

Another idea would be tickets to an event like a play or if you have bucks...a season pass. Other ideas: If she cooks, some new cookware, high quality knives, new measuring devices (My favs are from the Pampered Chef); if she collects baskets, masks or anything like that, you could add one (I know it's a house gift but collections are different). I think at a certain age most people who are not poverty stricken have enough STUFF so the shared experience and pampering gifts are more appreciated.

Let's face it though...some people just don't know how to graciously accept a gift without ruining it for the gift giver.

Buena Suerte and let us know how it goes!
Paz y salud,
Chris