Looking for your ADVICE!!

Hello Everyone!!!

I know what I'm about to post is not directly about Dominican Republic but since I am a Dominican I'm sure you can overlook that fact. Please reply only if your comments will be constructive(I don't need any silly comments, thanks!)

Ok...here it goes!!
I met this girl here in Massachusetts where I live and there is sort of a little problem. Before I met her I had planned to go to Dom. Rep for my vacation which is on the 31st of this month. The problem is that I do like this girl enough to really go after having something sirious with her but I as I had already planned I don't want to have any commitment when I go to DR because I want to be able to do whatever I want. Now, we have been talking about this for a little while and we never really get anywhere. I'm starting to feel a bit selfish because in a sense I want to have her and also do whatever I want when I go on my vacation. I did mention to her that I was not ready to have anything sirious at the time but that's only because of my current situation. What I've been planning to do is go to DR and when I come back start all over again but she doesn't like the idea even though she has accepted somewhat. The issue here is that I'm feeling guilty because she's a sweet heart and I don't want hurt her in any way. So, here is the question:

Should I just commit to her and go on vacation and behave like a commited man or should I go to DR, do whatever I want, and when I come back work on getting commited?

P.S I really just want to do the right thing here so please help out as best as you can.

Thanks in advance!

Best wishes always,
DR-Defender

for your ADVICE!!

Amigo, if you are in true love with this girl and you want to share your life with her, you should go on holliday and behave like a engaged person has to.
be honest, look from the other side, what would you do if she was going on holliday and go arround (intim) with every one who wants to go with her.(because that's the way you say, you're doiing normaly on holliday). If you know this, would you wait for her till she comes back and start a serious life with her?
I do not know you, but I do'nt think so.
Good luck and have a nice time.
Vaya con Dios
Henry

Since you are somewhat undecided on this issue, perhaps the trip would be a good test of your true feelings of this women. In other words, come on down as a single guy, and see if while you are here you spend every moment thinking about her, calling her daily,etc. OR after a day or so you have to make a big effort just to think of her and questions start to form in your mind about if she really is the one for you.
Good luck and have a great trip!!

follow your head not your heart.When a man is in the begining of a relationship, we tend not to think ,If you think this could be serious then you need to be sure you are making the rigth decsion.Go and enjoy your vacation,but do what you know is rigth.And you will know in your gut what is right.

Bring her with you. If she is cool, you'll have a great time with her. Make sure you discuss the whole itinerary with her first (type of accommodations, etc.) so there are no surprises.

KK I won't judge you as others do

KK

I think KK hasa fine idea, take your girlfriend along and find out how you do "away from home" Some suggest you are "not ready" or intend to "fool around," they must either behave that way themselves or have intimate knowledge of you. Take your future wife and have fun, or better yet, save the money and you and your bride honeymoon in the DR

Girl's point of View

I think I speak for many girls when I say that the issue of Trust is a huge one in a relationship! If your "girl" trusts you enough to let you vacation in the DR by yourself (even if you do have some issues to work through), Don't abuse that Trust!!! I also agree with many others here on the board who mentioned that if at all possible, take your "girl" with you. Show her the uniqueness of being a Dominican and show her that being Dominican doesn't mean that you'll fool around on your "partner" any chance you get! If the girl cannot, for some reason, vacation with you, then respect her enough to not jeopardize that fragile trust between you now.

How old are you?

He thought I "somewhat" accepted his idea of his 2-week vacation. After all, we had talked about it for some time, and I finally said : "Do as you please, I don't mind".
I never was able to look at him straight in the eyes afterwards.

Now, on a much more positive note:

If you are asking for advice from people you don't even know, I guess you must be pretty mixed up with your feelings for this girl. You feel committed, but is your hart committed, or is it your head.... or whishfull thinking ?
Take this opportunity : introduce her to your family and friends. Show her what your beautiful island is all about. Let her learn about your culture and yourself.

US and RD 's cultures are worlds apart... Get a glimpse at the future for you both. See how you both can walk through life together.
You know her country, her way of life, her family, her friends.
Let her know yours. Let her feel the warmth of the Dominican people.
Still unsure about your feelings for someone back home ? After such a trip, you would know !
Life is short. Don't waste your time, or hers (theirs ?) playing cat-and-mouse year after year. Find out now !

DR Defender, Dominicans are like two-headed monsters, my advice to you is to use the head that is going to rule your concience later, the other head you can use it when you get back to your girlfreind.

Try priceline.com and bid on your price. I did and saved $375 on my round trip ticket for the end of august.

Re: Maybe I was not clear enough....!

First of all I would like to thank all of you who actually took the time to read what I posted. However, it seems to me that some of you didn't even understand what I was asking. Some of you quickly assumed the woman I was talking about was not Dominican and I do apologize if I was not clear but that had nothing to do with the issue to begin with. And some of you were under the perception that she was my girlfriend when I believe that I emphasized it enough that I was only seen her. Do not get me wrong. I am not lashing out at anyone here. I appreciate the feedback from all of those who were actually trying to help.

Now, let me make things clear since it seems to me that I was not on my previous message according to most of the replies I received. The woman I'm talking about is Dominican (although she was born here and is very americanized in my eyes) and she is not my girlfriend. That is part of the problem. Also, before I forget let me let you guys in on a little secret. I'm Dominican but I came to this country when I was a little boy and pretty much know life as it is here in America. This will be the first time in 14 years that I will be visiting my country.

Back to what I was originally writing about. The reason I asked for everyone's opinion was because I was not sure if to make this woman my girlfriend before I left on my vacation or not. I would like to because its hard to find women like her these days. She's definitely someone who I would like to build something with. Again, my question is this:

Do I make her my girlfriend and go on vacation as a committed man or do I wait until I come back and then continue the relationship?

I know it does sound kind of selfish and that's what's bothering me. When I met her I was honest with her about the vacation I was about to take and I told her that I didn't want to be in a sirious relationship at that time. However, the problem is that we have gotten close as time has gone by and now things are a little different. I don't feel that it's right for her to sit here and wait while I go over there and do whatever I want to do. But I've been planning this vacation for a while and I was really looking foward to being able to be free and not have any restrictions. This is why I feel like I'm between to walls closing in on me. It seems like a simple decision but I know that I can't have both even though she seems ok with the idea of letting me go as a single man. But I know its not really what she wants.

What would you do?

P.S and for the person who asked me what my age was I really think that's irrelevant. I believe you're assuming that I'm immature for one reason or another. If I am wrong I do apologize. However, if I am right then you need to realize that even wars can be won with a little advice. I always try to learn from others and will continue to do so even as I age.

Thank you and sorry for such a long message...

Always,

DR-Defender

Re: Maybe I was not clear enough....!

walls closing in?

forget it

enjoy!

Put yourself in her position and then ask yourself the same question.

This was clear enough.....

Amigo, for my opinion, if you sure will go on with this girl, don't wait to get envolved with here till you come back from vacation, (maybe another guy walks away with her if you do).
and if she also seriously wants to be with you, she has to trust you for the time that you will be away, and, like someone else already mentioned, you for youre self can find out, if you love her enough to be true to her on your vacation.
have a nice time and good luck.
Vaya con Dios.
Henry.

Re: Maybe I was not clear enough....!

To put it in a few more words than Zippo - the only person you have to live with for the rest of your life is you. You should always do what you want and be committed mostly to yourself. You should however, be aware of the possible consequences of your behaviour.

If this girl really is "the one" you may end up behaving even though you are "free." If she's not and you commit, you may still fool around. Then again maybe she is "the one" and you commit and fool around anyway, in which case keep quiet. Let's face it - most men are weak in that sense. Acceptance of that can make life easier on one's self.

I personally would go as a free man. I also have no problem having no one in my empty apartment to return home to after vacation (which is a consequence of my behaviour - "selbst ist der mann"). I also am completely aware that my "partner" at home may be doing the same thing - its part of the deal.

Bring condoms just in case.

Re: Maybe I was not clear enough....!

There is going to be a lot of available women in DR. So you have to be strong and sure what you want if you won't "fool around". It is too easy to have a holiday romance, a lot of fun and no problems. If this girl is the one for you, don't let yourself to be fool. No girl can handle her man to be with somebody else! Good luck and have a nice holiday

Co?o dude your a Dominican, man, your going to be 3000 miles away from her. Of course your going to behave like a "comitted man" Give me a call when you get here and we will Party.

This is a natural feeling we all have in our blood just do it dude.

Miguel

PS: I was at the Merengue bar in the Jaragua last night and damn I had these 3 fine ladies just beggin for me to pleasure them. and you can never forget about those Euro babes in Juan Dolio.