Dominican Form Of Poligamy

May 31, 2008
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I am doing some research behind what I consider a Dominican phenomenon. I would like to hear opinions of men and women on this matter if you would like to cooperate.

I don't know about you but I know a bunch of Dominican men who have 2,3 and more ?complete families?, what I mean is that, yeah there married and with that women have kids, yet in another street, barrio, pueblo and/or country they have another women and kids. Some how these multiple families seem to function. My questions then are:

To Women:

1.Why do you put up with it?
2.What is the motivation behind accepting him be part of the time here and the other there. **** I have even seen instances when the wife and the Querida are comadres. Why, what the logic behind this?

To Men:

1.so is this what have your cake and ice cream is like?
2.Do you consider it to be ok?



General Question:

observe your family and you will notice, a bunch of aunt and uncle not from your grandmother and brothers and sister not from our mother, yet you never remember them marring anyone else. What do you think is behind this phenomenon of the Dominican Culture, is it only exclusive to Dominicans?
 

Squat

Tropical geek in Las Terrenas
Jan 1, 2002
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One thing I observe is the fact that from an early age, Dominican girls prefer the "tigueres" (bad boys) over the more serious boys. Often they will date a married man, knowingly, and get pregnant from him. It is complete mystery also why most women actually prefer those men who are openly lying, cheating and frequently beating them up...

I think it is anchored deep inside the culture. Maybe somehow transmitted by the mother. The value system is wrong: What is good is seen as bad, and what is bad is seen as good.

-Is it because of the fact that a huge amount of kids are raised by single mothers, and most of them are from different fathers ?
-I don't know...

But don't be mislead ! it takes 2 to dance... Often foreigners will endlessly complain on how bad are Dominican men, while completely ignoring Dominican women. Think ! If men are such, women have a lot of responsibility to bear...

It is a wrong system of value...

No one reads, if a youth reads, they'll call him "pendejo"... The only way it would be valued to read would be to study to become a lawyer, so you could lie, steal, and trick people to make a lot of fast money.

No wonder virtually all politicians are corrupt...
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
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One thing I observe is the fact that from an early age, Dominican girls prefer the "tigueres" (bad boys) over the more serious boys. ...
I don't think that it's particular to Dominican women.
The same was true of a lot of the young ladies I knew, when growing up in Canada.
Having been the somewhat delinquent non conformist in my teen age years, I benefited from the above mentioned syndrome. ;)
 

rio2003

Bronze
Aug 16, 2006
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Hi there allaboutbeingdominican,

Is/Are your question/s only directed at Dominicans? I understand that you are talking about the Dominicans or are you including non-Dominicans in the set up as well? I ask because I know a couple of those myself, but being a non-Dom wondered if I was eligible to answer you........

Got to be PC here ......lol

Rio
 
Mar 2, 2008
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Bo knows football, but Rocky knows women.

I have to agree with Rocky regarding the fact women are attracted to the bad boys across cultures. However, in my experience in the US, women use the bad boys but want a long-term relationship with the good, hard-working, provider type. Or, may start out with one or the other type and change at some point (biological clock ticking, desire for a walk on the wild side, need for companionship, you name it for the reasons).

In any event, it appears Dominican women are not as sophistacated or educated as NA women (generally speaking) and therefore may not have the same understanding of their options (which may also be limited), so therefore often end up with several bad boys and no stable provider (until they meet the gringo of their dreams).

Just my thoughts with no real data to support them. The thing is, if anyone thinks they can figure out women or relationships they have got their their work cut out for themselves. I wish you all the best. I understand straight jackets provide enormous comfort and security.
 

drloca

Silver
Oct 26, 2004
2,097
216
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I don't think that it's particular to Dominican women.
The same was true of a lot of the young ladies I knew, when growing up in Canada.
Having been the somewhat delinquent non conformist in my teen age years, I benefited from the above mentioned syndrome. ;)

Only in your teens Rocky??;)
 

Rocky

Honorificabilitudinitatibus
Apr 4, 2002
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The thing is, if anyone thinks they can figure out women or relationships they have got their their work cut out for themselves. I wish you all the best. I understand straight jackets provide enormous comfort and security.
I agree.
Women would be in a better position to illuminate us on this topic, as man's understanding of women is limited to
008.gif
.
 

drloca

Silver
Oct 26, 2004
2,097
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I agree.
Women would be in a better position to illuminate us on this topic, as man's understanding of women is limited to
008.gif
.


You guys make me laugh...you claim not to understand women yet you cant seem to live without them...in most instances anyway!;)
 

rio2003

Bronze
Aug 16, 2006
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I am sorry that I haven't answered you yet allabout - I truly think it's a combination of things - but being a bit of a straight talker don't know whether my "tell it like it is" style can take another harpooning!!!
The jury is out at the moment.........

Rio
 

Berzin

Banned
Nov 17, 2004
5,898
550
113
We all know what women in the DR happily put up with from dominican men, and as much as they tell US they hate it those are the type of men they respect.

So dominican men have different families in different places because they can get away with it.

The women put up with it. Regardless of what culture you live in, you only do what you can get away with, conscience and morals be damned.

And as why the chicas like the tigres, its' the same thing here. Its' not a phenomenon restricted solely to the island.

Nine times out of ten the tigres are made out of paper machey, which is the amusing part. Fake wanna-be gangsters who dress up to play the role but don't have the heart to live it...but hey, the chicas buy it so what can you say?
 
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PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
One thing I observe is the fact that from an early age, Dominican girls prefer the "tigueres" (bad boys) over the more serious boys. Often they will date a married man, knowingly, and get pregnant from him. It is complete mystery also why most women actually prefer those men who are openly lying, cheating and frequently beating them up...

I think it is anchored deep inside the culture. Maybe somehow transmitted by the mother. The value system is wrong: What is good is seen as bad, and what is bad is seen as good.

-Is it because of the fact that a huge amount of kids are raised by single mothers, and most of them are from different fathers ?
-I don't know...

But don't be mislead ! it takes 2 to dance... Often foreigners will endlessly complain on how bad are Dominican men, while completely ignoring Dominican women. Think ! If men are such, women have a lot of responsibility to bear...

It is a wrong system of value...

No one reads, if a youth reads, they'll call him "pendejo"... The only way it would be valued to read would be to study to become a lawyer, so you could lie, steal, and trick people to make a lot of fast money.

No wonder virtually all politicians are corrupt...

Is not about dating the bad boy or behavioral heritage...
This boils down to economics and street smarts...

A young woman can and will date guys her age/equivalent but soon after they realize that chances are too great that he won't be ale to support her at all, much less provide a comfortable living without having to be a paired horse in the daily grind for survival...

They understand economics at younger ages... A married man IS supporting a wife/family already, chances are that he can support her much better if she can move and position herself to be the #1 focus of his attentions...

Your wife will await you home to list all the stuff that went bad with the bills/house/kids/etc... The querida/second/third wife will await you with the food you like and to tender to your every mental/social/bodily needs...

The reason some men have up to three families, is b/c they can afford to pay the upkeep of such enterprise...

My father had us (main family with my mom), my step brothers and sister (with Querida 1) and a step sister that grew up with us under the same roof from Querida #2. After that he had 3 others with no kids around (thanks God!)...

The wives don't like it much, as they must share the nights and little of the daytime, if any left, to socialize with the man. But again, it's a woman's dream to be able to be living like a lover and not have the man grumbling for too long around the house...

My mom and three queridas knew each other well, the others, only us the boys knew about (teaching the kids the ropes, lol)...

I find that it does great to a man's mental stress of everyday life to be able to hold such arrangements... Somehow my dad was always smiling!

My step siblings are just like my main siblings... We treat each other as family no matter from where/whom you came to be about...

Is the economics that play the greatest role on who gets to be able to have such kind of arrangements...:cheeky:
 

DQ2U2

New member
Feb 7, 2008
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I see groups of cavewomen looking at groups of cavemen shaking their heads saying "Hey, them there with the kickstands aint too bright"

lol
Hugs
D
 
Mar 2, 2008
2,902
544
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Is not about dating the bad boy or behavioral heritage...
This boils down to economics and street smarts...
A young woman can and will date guys her age/equivalent but soon after they realize that chances are too great that he won't be ale to support her at all, much less provide a comfortable living without having to be a paired horse in the daily grind for survival...


I agree that eventually it comes down to economics as far as the cognitive aspect of relationships goes. However, there is another part that is far more primal and powerful. The biological attraction is set in play by pheromones. What exactly makes pheremones effective and selective is still very much an unknown. Still, it is evident that women, while cognitively attracted to "the provider" type, are more compellingly attracted to those individual men who emit the most effective phermone. Research has indicated the bad boy pheromones are way more effective than the good boy pheromones.

I'm just stating the facts as I know them. Rebuttals only will validate an abundance of good boy pheromones.
 

PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
Is not about dating the bad boy or behavioral heritage...
This boils down to economics and street smarts...
A young woman can and will date guys her age/equivalent but soon after they realize that chances are too great that he won't be ale to support her at all, much less provide a comfortable living without having to be a paired horse in the daily grind for survival...


I agree that eventually it comes down to economics as far as the cognitive aspect of relationships goes. However, there is another part that is far more primal and powerful. The biological attraction is set in play by pheromones. What exactly makes pheremones effective and selective is still very much an unknown. Still, it is evident that women, while cognitively attracted to "the provider" type, are more compellingly attracted to those individual men who emit the most effective phermone. Research has indicated the bad boy pheromones are way more effective than the good boy pheromones.

I'm just stating the facts as I know them. Rebuttals only will validate an abundance of good boy pheromones.

So that's what they call money nowadays...
 

Celt202

Gold
May 22, 2004
9,099
944
113
As Criss Colon has pointed out the most confusing day of the year in the DR is Father's Day.
 

PICHARDO

One Dominican at a time, please!
May 15, 2003
13,280
893
113
Santiago de Los 30 Caballeros
As Criss Colon has pointed out the most confusing day of the year in the DR is Father's Day.

Au contraire!!! In the DR that's about the surest thing you can have!!!
Did you think women will let a deadbeat live the high life?!?

LOL!!! That's the day mommy tells you who to buy or crayon a card to...
 

cabaretesunshine

New member
Apr 3, 2008
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to quote Allaboutbeingdominican: I don't know about you but I know a bunch of Dominican men who have 2,3 and more ?complete families?, what I mean is that, yeah there married and with that women have kids, yet in another street, barrio, pueblo and/or country they have another women and kids. Some how these multiple families seem to function. My questions then are:

To Women:
1.Why do you put up with it?
2.What is the motivation behind accepting him be part of the time here and the other there. **** I have even seen instances when the wife and the Querida are comadres. Why, what the logic behind this?

To Men:
1.so is this what have your cake and ice cream is like?
2.Do you consider it to be ok?

allaboutbeingdominican: I am also intrigued by this culture's "mating" norms and have observed distinctly different attitudes among Dominican women I personally know. As 2 examples: Woman#1 has refused to allow the wandering husband to return to the casa even though she was pregnant with his 4th son during his escapades. She recently gave birth and has the full support of the wanderer's family. He, on the other hand, is living with a 14 year old girl in less than his normal standards and his family has not accepted her at all "into the fold". On the other side of the spectrum is Woman#2 who has 4 grown children with her husband. They are all university students now. Recently, the husband made it known (to his brother and male cousins) he had a girlfriend from a nearby town. He has not ever been seen in public with her in the town of his family. The girlfriend, however, has flaunted her relationship with the guy by frequenting the 'la bamba' (carwash) in Woman #2's town and mingling with Woman#2's neighbors. Woman#2 makes no secret that she is deeply hurt. All who know her empathsize with her situation and don't like the girlfriend 'rubbing the wife's nose in it' so-to-speak. The men relatives sympathize with the wife but just say it is normal for men to do this here. They extend greetings to the other woman when in public as a polite gesture but share their displeasure in the wandering brother's "taste in women", claiming the girl has no class and acknowledging his wife does! ~ There also appears to be a 'class system' here aside from the 'good guy'/'badboy' male. Many educated males are faithful and truly good to their esposas/union libres (whichever the case may be). I'm not saying all educated males are this way. Yet, in conversations, these men will not hide from admitting they are faithful and respect their woman because, as they put it, they know that, to respect her, is a positive reflection upon themselves and their children and they seem to also have their priorities in place and think of the future for their children.
~ Hope this adds some light.