There is to be a party in my house tomorrow. And no this is not an invite!
First I knew of it was when a powerful and important Dominican man turned up at my gate yesterday with a group of bodyguards I assume. Black glasses, gun stuck in trouser types. He obviously didn't know who he was as his name was on his jacket.
He then proceeded to inform me that he had agreed with my husband (who for obvious reasons had forgotten to tell me) than he was having a small party in my garden on Saturday (tomorrow). I asked if he wanted me to do anything and he said just to provide breakfast as the party is from 10-6.
Ok bacon and eggs I thought, but no he wantes guineo and salami, or mangu if I could do that . Fine. For how many???
300 people!!!
He is providing 4 pigs a goat and chicken and all the drink. I assume he will bring the cups, plates etc too
I worked out I would have to peel 1200 dammed bananas and how the hell do I get them all cooked, so hopefully I think I have persuaded him that ham and cheese sandwiches would do (but not toasted as that would take 5 hours).
He seemed to get a bit excited about the pool - explained that lots of people would swim (joy, joy), and mentioned something about music too.
So my questions are:
1. Do you think 300 will turn up or could it be more - or (please God) less?
2. What sort of a mess are we looking are afterwards (worst scenario)?
3. Where can I buy the stuff which shows up if they pee in my pool?
4. Can you keep pool water if it gets full of beer and other stuff - like put lots of chloro in it?
5. Do you think they will nick all my fruits and veg in the garden?
6. Anyone has any valium?
Desperately worried Matilda
First I knew of it was when a powerful and important Dominican man turned up at my gate yesterday with a group of bodyguards I assume. Black glasses, gun stuck in trouser types. He obviously didn't know who he was as his name was on his jacket.
He then proceeded to inform me that he had agreed with my husband (who for obvious reasons had forgotten to tell me) than he was having a small party in my garden on Saturday (tomorrow). I asked if he wanted me to do anything and he said just to provide breakfast as the party is from 10-6.
Ok bacon and eggs I thought, but no he wantes guineo and salami, or mangu if I could do that . Fine. For how many???
300 people!!!
He is providing 4 pigs a goat and chicken and all the drink. I assume he will bring the cups, plates etc too
I worked out I would have to peel 1200 dammed bananas and how the hell do I get them all cooked, so hopefully I think I have persuaded him that ham and cheese sandwiches would do (but not toasted as that would take 5 hours).
He seemed to get a bit excited about the pool - explained that lots of people would swim (joy, joy), and mentioned something about music too.
So my questions are:
1. Do you think 300 will turn up or could it be more - or (please God) less?
2. What sort of a mess are we looking are afterwards (worst scenario)?
3. Where can I buy the stuff which shows up if they pee in my pool?
4. Can you keep pool water if it gets full of beer and other stuff - like put lots of chloro in it?
5. Do you think they will nick all my fruits and veg in the garden?
6. Anyone has any valium?
Desperately worried Matilda