Will I have to fight somebody?

bachatony1 · Sep 22, 2008

I've read several threads here about sexual harrasment in DR: everything from chiflas to serious groping in taxis etc... My issue is this: I'm a 26 yr old married man and my wife is 24 and very pretty. I'm used to people trying to flirt with her until they find out that we're married. But, will guys in DR try to go further?

Here in U.S., if they say something inappropriate, I will firmly let them know that she's my wife. If they touched her, I would be compelled to fight them and I am by know means a violent person. I'm very laid back.

What can I expect in DR? Do guys lay off when they find out a girl is married? Am I right in wanting to defend my woman? If I had to fight, which is a last resort, how much trouble could I end up in?

AZB · Sep 22, 2008

don't worry, nothing will happen to you guys. Just concentrate in having a good time. there are plenty of single women looking for action in resort area. No guy will bother looking for trouble when so many tourist women are looking at these guys with avid eyes.
AZB

J D Sauser · Sep 22, 2008

bachatony1 said:
I've read several threads here about sexual harrasment in DR: everything from chiflas to serious groping in taxis etc... My issue is this: I'm a 26 yr old married man and my wife is 24 and very pretty. I'm used to people trying to flirt with her until they find out that we're married. But, will guys in DR try to go further?

Here in U.S., if they say something inappropriate, I will firmly let them know that she's my wife. If they touched her, I would be compelled to fight them and I am by know means a violent person. I'm very laid back.

What can I expect in DR? Do guys lay off when they find out a girl is married? Am I right in wanting to defend my woman? If I had to fight, which is a last resort, how much trouble could I end up in?

I would not recommend to try to prove your more man than some idiot who may be hiding a knife or even a gun to surprise you with. Emotions do fly high very quickly here... even if you win, can you take on his cousins too?

She will get "piropos" even if she wasn't all that pretty. You will get some too! That's part of life here... so you first need to learn to "read" into it, what is indeed an unfriendly take over attempt.
Then, besides you demonstrating that you are her man by body language, it will much depend on HER learning the Dominicana's body language to clearly indicate that she is not interested. If you and especially your wife observe Dominicanas in a bar, dancing or tipico environment, you will quickly appreciate that they can very clearly show that there is NO chance, may be a chance or beg to be rescued from the jerk their with. I think that prospecting men, will read the woman more than man... this is how they do it, because they feel confident their girl will set the record straight for them too. If the woman behaves "available" or just bored with you... they won't even take you into account.

I have had situations where guys would look and smile at my girl, and I would just smile back and say "... que, te gusta ella, eh? jajajaja...!" (... so, you think she's pretty, huh?

) . I have always got back either apologies or laughter from them and usually flattering coments not just about her but me being a "tiguere" (you're cool). It's always better than to get into a fight with unclear terms and unknown number of opponents.

... J-D.

Bronxboy · Sep 22, 2008

J D Sauser said:
I would not recommend to try to prove your more man than some idiot who may be hiding a knife or even a gun to surprise you with. Emotions do fly high very quickly here... even if you win, can you take on his cousins too?

She will get "piropos" even if she wasn't all that pretty. You will get some too! That's part of life here... so you first need to learn to "read" into it, what is indeed an unfriendly take over attempt.
Then, besides you demonstrating that you are her man by body language, it will much depend on HER learning the Dominicana's body language to clearly indicate that she is not interested. If you and especially your wife observe Dominicanas in a bar, dancing or tipico environment, you will quickly appreciate that they can very clearly show that there is NO chance, may be a chance or beg to be rescued from the jerk their with. I think that prospecting men, will read the woman more than man... this is how they do it, because they feel confident their girl will set the record straight for them too. If the woman behaves "available" or just bored with you... they won't even take you into account.

I have had situations where guys would look and smile at my girl, and I would just smile back and say "... que, te gusta ella, eh? jajajaja...!" (... so, you think she's pretty, huh? ) . I have always got back either apologies or laughter from them and usually flattering coments not just about her but me being a "tiguere" (you're cool). It's always better than to get into a fight with unclear terms and unknown number of opponents.

... J-D.

Yep, just say " Te gusta? pues, ella esta conmigo" a little smile and go on your way.

AnnaC · Sep 22, 2008

If your wife isn't a Dominican they will try to "charm" her no doubt about it. Just tell your wife that it's their job at the resort and they say the same things to every woman.

Out of the resort the "charm' will be in order to sell something. A nik nak or themselves.

But I don't think anyone will touch her in the way you're thinking. What J.D Sausers posted is good advice.

MrMike · Sep 22, 2008

Dominicans are socially obligated to flirt and oggle or else their friends will harrass them about being gay.

I personally refrain from sexually harrassing my workers and have been repeatedly pulled aside by some of the male supervisors and told that I was losing their respect by not acting "like a man".

So it's part of the culture.

Also, be aware that if you choose to get physical, you will never get a fair fight out of a Dominican. They are social people with lots of friends and will not consider it cowardice to mob you as a group, especially if you are a foreigner. It is also not uncommon for them to carry hidden weapons such as knives and guns. They are usually pretty laid back and will try to resolve most issues by talking, but if you do manage to get them riled, all bets are off.

Mr. Lu · Sep 22, 2008

What's with the macho bravado BS? Keep it cool. By the title of your post it looks like you are ready to come down and beat on the first guy that says hello to your girl. If you come with the predisposition to fight you might end up with a shank in your ribs. I've seen it. Not fun. You might be tough, but some some dudes here are tougher. Keep it cool, always.

All most guys will do is stare, and blow a kiss. He might say something and whatnot. Rarely will you have an extreme act of aggression. Also, I might add that the "higher class" the establishment, the less likely there will be a problem.

Take the advice posted above and enjoy your vacation.

Mr. Lu

rdidwhat · Sep 22, 2008

I was there a few years back with my ex who is phillipino and very exotic looking especially in the D.R since there are so few asians.

The worst I got was cat calls and a couple of stupid comments thrown our way like "can I borrow her."

I would smile and keep it moving if I were you. Even a great fighter can get hurt by a machete or flaco and 5 of his boys.

M.A.R. · Sep 22, 2008

MrMike said:
Dominicans are socially obligated to flirt and oggle or else their friends will harrass them about being gay.

So it's part of the culture.

.

LOL........so true

one thing though, if he is much older than her, they will call him 'suegro', thinking he's her father.

Lambada · Sep 22, 2008

And if all else fails & your wife's admirer is a little persistent, stay with the joking, smile & ask 'How much will you pay me for her?'. The admirer will usually melt away - either shocked that the gringo could barter his wife or............broke! If you're really confident & he's with friends, find out how much they can raise in a whip round.

Just remember this is all about the guy looking good with his friends, as MrMike said, not about you or your wife. Think about a bunch of schoolboys after school with one being dared by friends to chat up the schoolgirl with the shortest skirt, biggest boobs etc. Keep it at that level & you'll be fine. Don't make it about you, because it isn't & if you do, you won't.

And could I suggest that when something inappropriate is said back in the US, that you let your wife handle it? Good for her self confidence.

And when you see how good she gets at this, it'll be good for yours, too.

Bronxboy · Sep 22, 2008

Lambada said:
And if all else fails & your wife's admirer is a little persistent, stay with the joking, smile & ask 'How much will you pay me for her?'QUOTE]

Like the old merengue song "Te compro tu novia!!!!" lol

dv8 · Sep 22, 2008

i have seen more actual harassment in the UK or poland than DR. yes, a man can whistle or say how pretty i am but i have never been groped or touched by a stranger.
my friend was some time ago approached by aguacatero who smacked his lips and said: "you white woman want to f**k?" but one can just ignore it and walk by.
only once i was asked by a young dude: "you want to go with me?" when i was walking with miesposo to which miesposo answered in a gravely tone of the voice: "la gente muere por menos que eso".

bachatony1 · Sep 22, 2008

Mr. Lu said:
What's with the macho bravado BS? Keep it cool. By the title of your post it looks like you are ready to come down and beat on the first guy that says hello to your girl. If you come with the predisposition to fight you might end up with a shank in your ribs. I've seen it. Not fun. You might be tough, but some some dudes here are tougher. Keep it cool, always.
Mr. Lu

LOL! The title's not all it seems as you will see if you actually read the post. Just trying to attract attention so I can get some good answers, which I have. Thanks everybody! Like I said, flirting and words don't bother me, It's just a couple of the threads I've read here, one about a taxi driver and another about a guide at 27 Charcos, that had me a little concerned. I'll make sure I don't take things too seriously, though. Thanks!

Bronxboy · Sep 22, 2008

bachatony1 said:
LOL! The title's not all it seems as you will see if you actually read the post. Just trying to attract attention so I can get some good answers, which I have. Thanks everybody! Like I said, flirting and words don't bother me, It's just a couple of the threads I've read here, one about a taxi driver and another about a guide at 27 Charcos, that had me a little concerned. I'll make sure I don't take things too seriously, though. Thanks!

Yep, at the end of the day, the lady stays with you and no one else!!!!!!

Plus, I like that my lady gets looks. It makes me feel good.

laurajane · Sep 22, 2008

I can not count how many times men have attempted to chat me up here and when i say i am married, their reply is " I don't mind"!

Men will even approach me while i am walking down the street with my husband, one even stopped his car once and asked my husband if they could do a switch, me for his wife. My husband said no of course ha ha!

I am sure however that there will be no need for you to step in, take it as a huge compliment if someone hits on her, and as did i, she will tell them that she is not interested

laurajane · Sep 22, 2008

Oh a few motoconcho guys have tried to get frisky but i tell them to stop and get off without paying, uuurrggghhh!

badpiece33 · Sep 23, 2008

bachatony1 said:
I've read several threads here about sexual harrasment in DR: everything from chiflas to serious groping in taxis etc... My issue is this: I'm a 26 yr old married man and my wife is 24 and very pretty. I'm used to people trying to flirt with her until they find out that we're married. But, will guys in DR try to go further?

Here in U.S., if they say something inappropriate, I will firmly let them know that she's my wife. If they touched her, I would be compelled to fight them and I am by know means a violent person. I'm very laid back.

What can I expect in DR? Do guys lay off when they find out a girl is married? Am I right in wanting to defend my woman? If I had to fight, which is a last resort, how much trouble could I end up in?

Your wife may have to fight off some Hot Dominican women after you, Little role reversal for a change

M.A.R. · Sep 23, 2008

laurajane said:
I can not count how many times men have attempted to chat me up here and when i say i am married, their reply is " I don't mind"!

Men will even approach me while i am walking down the street with my husband, one even stopped his car once and asked my husband if they could do a switch, me for his wife. My husband said no of course ha ha!

LMAO laura sooo true, they also reply, if you tell you are married..... "I'm not jealous" hahahaha

hahah wow those motoconchos have no self control...lol

ExtremeR · Sep 24, 2008

The trick is on the lady, men here will always try to get a window to make signs to her, if she keeps staring at one of them unintentionally they might get the wrong idea and start making signs to her or even follow her when she goes to the bathroom or sending their phone numbers in papers out of your sight in the bar. If she just have a good time without staring at anybody you will have no problem.

Fight here is only necessary if the offender cross the line touching her and stuff like that.

freeair · Sep 24, 2008

wow!those are so shocking...mama mia..lol

Will I have to fight somebody?

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