Hold on to your balls

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Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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I decided to have my Great Dane castrated. He went to the vets a week ago. The vet took out his balls and left the sac in place and Tyson came home. Sleepy but fine. An hour later his ball sac was the size of a football. The vet came out and re-operated under a tree on the patio, with the drip hanging off a tree. Blood everywhere. He took out blood clots from his sac and pronounced that he would then be fine, but he was inflamed. He has been out every day since to check. This afternoon he decided to take off the whole ball sac as it was still the size of a football. All was prepared. A sheet was put on our outdoor dining table. The drip was hung from an ivy plant. His scalpel was taken from his tool box. A plastic bag was prepared at the ready, and off we went.

An hour later. Blood everywhere. Balls in the dustbin (garbage for US readers). Table covered in blood. Sheet in dustbin. Floor ankle deep in blood. Mr Matilda passed out and on bed in bedroom. Dog still alive and asleep at my feet.

Meatballs for tea on the table where it all took place.

Be warned any males if you ever come to eat at my house. Now I know how to do it!!!!

Only in this country!!!!

Matilda
 

whirleybird

Silver
Feb 27, 2006
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I decided to have my Great Dane castrated. He went to the vets a week ago. The vet took out his balls and left the sac in place and Tyson came home. Sleepy but fine. An hour later his ball sac was the size of a football. The vet came out and re-operated under a tree on the patio, with the drip hanging off a tree. Blood everywhere. He took out blood clots from his sac and pronounced that he would then be fine, but he was inflamed. He has been out every day since to check. This afternoon he decided to take off the whole ball sac as it was still the size of a football. All was prepared. A sheet was put on our outdoor dining table. The drip was hung from an ivy plant. His scalpel was taken from his tool box. A plastic bag was prepared at the ready, and off we went.

An hour later. Blood everywhere. Balls in the dustbin (garbage for US readers). Table covered in blood. Sheet in dustbin. Floor ankle deep in blood. Mr Matilda passed out and on bed in bedroom. Dog still alive and asleep at my feet.

Meatballs for tea on the table where it all took place.

Be warned any males if you ever come to eat at my house. Now I know how to do it!!!!

Only in this country!!!!

Matilda

Mr WB has enough problems at the moment and, now he has read your Tyson report, I think I will find it hard to persuade him to come back to visit you ever again!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Hope Tyson is now feeling better and Mr M has recovered enough to eat the meatballs for tea.
 
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Lambada

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Mar 4, 2004
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You've GOT to write a book, Matilda. Called Balls In The Dustbin. That post was so so hilarious.:laugh::laugh:

'Meatballs for tea' indeed...............;)

Sounds like Tyson will be on molasses to build up his blood supply again.
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
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Well he is on the sofa with me and can't get comfortable. Probably as he does not have to work out where to put those things between his legs. God knows how men manage arranging them all the time! I am thinking of buying him 2 ping pong balls on a bit of string and tying them round his backside so the other dogs don't laugh at him. We used to wear them on our heads in England in the 80s but I can't remember what they were called???
 

Fernandez

Bronze
Jan 4, 2002
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Matilda,

was that recipe for Italian meat balls or Polish, sprinkled with a bit of dill-

perhaps the best post I have read all year.

thanks.
 

whirleybird

Silver
Feb 27, 2006
3,264
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Well he is on the sofa with me and can't get comfortable. Probably as he does not have to work out where to put those things between his legs. God knows how men manage arranging them all the time! I am thinking of buying him 2 ping pong balls on a bit of string and tying them round his backside so the other dogs don't laugh at him. We used to wear them on our heads in England in the 80s but I can't remember what they were called???

Were they just ear muffs? How you doing with SLABS btw?
 

Hillbilly

Moderator
Jan 1, 2002
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For those that go to Matilda's for dinner:

Mexican Oysters

A big Texan stopped at a local restaurant following a day roaming
around Tijuana. While sipping his tequila, he noticed a sizzling, scrumptious looking
platter being served at the next table. Not only did it look good, the
smell was wonderful.

He asked in Spanish to the waiter, 'What is that you just served?'

The waiter replied, 'Ah senor, you have excellent taste! Those are called
Cojones de Toro, bull's testicles from the bull fight this morning. A
delicacy!'
The cowboy said, 'What the heck, bring me an order.'

The waiter replied, 'I am so sorry senor. There is only one serving per
day because there is only one bull fight each morning. If you come early
and place your order, we will be sure to save you this delicacy.'
The next morning, the cowboy returned, placed his order, and that evening
was served the one and only special delicacy of the day. After a few
bites, inspecting his platter, he called to the waiter and said, 'These
are delicious, but they are much, much smaller than the ones I saw you
serve yesterday.'

The waiter shrugged his shoulders and replied, 'Si, Senor.

Sometimes the bull wins."


HB
 

cobraboy

Pro-Bono Demolition Hobbyist
Jul 24, 2004
40,964
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Matilda, why did you choose to have Tyson neutered.

BTW-I won't breath a word to Toby, who is now 6 months old (he's 5 here):
TobySeat.jpg


That's the full rear seat of a 15 passenger Ford E350 van, seats 4 people...:surprised
 

Matilda

RIP Lindsay
Sep 13, 2006
5,485
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Tyson is a fantastic dog. He has fathered many puppies. However, I do not want any more, and I do not think his wives want any more either. One of the females has been spayed but for any intelligent person they know it is a much larger operation to have a female spayed than a male neutered. The same goes for the female human which is why so many intelligent men have vasectomies. He had a major infection in one foot which needed a general anaesthetic. So if he was going to have to have a general it made sense to have him neutered at the same time. Plus it takes away the chance of testicular cancer which can be prevalent in Great Danes. Hence I decided to have it done. It was not my fault the vet had to do it three times.

matilda
 
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whirleybird

Silver
Feb 27, 2006
3,264
322
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Back to topic please. It's best not to feed trolls, it only encourages them. :D

What are trolls here? My only recollection is the cute little things which were made of rubber with long hair back in the UK when I was a teenager... are they different here?
 

Chirimoya

Well-known member
Dec 9, 2002
17,850
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Although Matilda's OP was the dog's bollocks (or not, as the case might be :D), it was generating responses from trolls (or over-sensitive males as the case might be :D). Best to leave it as is, for the moment at least.
 
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