Older woman; much, much younger guy

contasm · Dec 16, 2008

?Love?, emotions, attention and adulation play important factors for these mature women once they are ?courted? by a much younger Dominican. The age difference factor amplifies the fact that these 2 persons are at very different stages in their respective lives. Generally, the ?sponsor? is well settled down, with a career of her own and clear path on what she wants her life to be. On the other hand; the tiguere she just met and ?fell in love with?, without the benefit of even a high school education, is just starting to figure out how to make it in life, and that directly translate into getting a ?visa pa Nueba Yol? via ?la vieja? that he just met ( his owns words !!!!)
It is obvious to the outside observer, that in many cases, the difficulties that start appearing once the guy gets to Miami or Toronto, are not necessarily related to incompatible personalities, or cultural differences, but the fact that Jane wants to sign up for a wine and cheese tasting outing while Jacinto wants to dance (and drink) the night away at ?La Rancheta Dominicana?. Different outlooks, different expectations.

Saludos
Contasm

mike l · Dec 16, 2008

contasm said:
?Love?, emotions, attention and adulation play important factors for these mature women once they are ?courted? by a much younger Dominican. The age difference factor amplifies the fact that these 2 persons are at very different stages in their respective lives. Generally, the ?sponsor? is well settled down, with a career of her own and clear path on what she wants her life to be. On the other hand; the tiguere she just met and ?fell in love with?, without the benefit of even a high school education, is just starting to figure out how to make it in life, and that directly translate into getting a ?visa pa Nueba Yol? via ?la vieja? that he just met ( his owns words !!!!)
It is obvious to the outside observer, that in many cases, the difficulties that start appearing once the guy gets to Miami or Toronto, are not necessarily related to incompatible personalities, or cultural differences, but the fact that Jane wants to sign up for a wine and cheese tasting outing while Jacinto wants to dance (and drink) the night away at ?La Rancheta Dominicana?. Different outlooks, different expectations.

Saludos
Contasm

"Things change people don't ", is a rule I have found to be true in the most part.

Dogs do there business wherever conveniant is another observation.

I have actually seen many horror stories about bringing your new "special friend" both male and female to a new country whereby todays job applicant that works for Arby's now wants a new Mercedes!....SL and will trade up just to get one!.....on a constant basis!

AnnaC · Dec 16, 2008

And the point of this thread is?

contasm · Dec 16, 2008

AnnaC said:
And the point of this thread is?

I just wanted to point out that in many cases, when there is a considerable age different ( 8 or plus years, and yes? this is very subjective) between partners, sometimes conflicts start to appear when life objectives are different, not necessarily because of mismatched personalities or cultural issues. That?s all

Why is my tread been questioned?, I see all kind of ?questionable? topics? been talked about in this very same forum like Cocomordan, but it seems you do have a ?problem? with some of my post. It?s just my opinion, which I hope would help some people understand this particular issue, which by the way, I have personally experienced.

Saludos
Contasm

AnnaC · Dec 16, 2008

contasm said:
It’s just my opinion, which I hope would help some people understand this particular issue, which by the way, I have personally experienced.

Saludos
Contasm

You are/were in a relationship with a younger man and he wanted to go out dancing and drinking after arriving in Miami? Sounds interesting. Tell us about it.

BTW the Cocomordan discussion was interesting and informative which has only been lightly covered once before.

This younger/older relationship subject, be it males or females has been discussed many times.

If you want to start threads think of something interesting to discuss that we haven't cover a few hundred times and which will not lead to more bashing of women.

contasm · Dec 16, 2008

AnnaC said:
If you want to start threads think of something interesting to discuss that we haven't cover a few hundred times and which will not lead to more bashing of women.

It?s definitely not my intention to bash any women or men in this forum; we already have our ?regular? and ?untouchable members? who are experts at it who freely do so. I do agree that some topics tent to ?resurface? once in a while, but that?s the cyclical nature of this forum, just like tflea?s topic ?Already Started?

Anna, please let the board flow naturally, open to ideas, new or old, as long as we all behave and follow guidelines, I don?t think we need extreme close patrolling from moderators.

I think I did open an interesting topic, I could have perhaps rephrased differently, but basically wanted to hear about ladies encountering that particular issue, and I?ll repeat the given scenario; the couple is compatible in terms of personalities and both understand the basics of each other?s cultures, but what about goals, aspirations, objectives? are they very different when there is considerable age gap between a NA woman and a Dominican man.

Ladies and gentlemen, your comments are welcome.

Saludos
Contasm

nsdr · Dec 17, 2008

I don't understand why a young Dominican - either male or female - would be interested in a much older person for a romantic interest - other than for financial reasons. Generally a young person enjoys being with people their own age.

Hillbilly · Dec 17, 2008

I have seen it more than once. Boy toys are well known along the North Coast....

HB

Kyle · Dec 17, 2008

let it be told that some women don't age like others. i've seen some hot over 40 even over 50 women tourists that are hotties. i can see why dominican men flock to them.

having looks and pesos is a double bonus right ? :ermm:

jrzyguy · Dec 17, 2008

i dont this is a unique dominican thing. I see older (rich) men with younger (very attractive) women here in NYC. Its pretty common. So what is the issue when it goes the other way around?

bachata · Dec 17, 2008

jrzyguy said:
i dont this is a unique dominican thing. I see older (rich) men with younger (very attractive) women here in NYC. Its pretty common. So what is the issue when it goes the other way around?

They agreed with this Dominican slang. Es mejor comerse un biscochito entre dos y no una plata de mierda uno solo....

JJ

Richard Alberto · Dec 17, 2008

AnnaC said:
You are/were in a relationship with a younger man and he wanted to go out dancing and drinking after arriving in Miami? Sounds interesting. Tell us about it.

BTW the Cocomordan discussion was interesting and informative which has only been lightly covered once before.

This younger/older relationship subject, be it males or females has been discussed many times.

If you want to start threads think of something interesting to discuss that we haven't cover a few hundred times and which will not lead to more bashing of women.

BTW hows the Cocomordan training coming along?

Kyle · Dec 17, 2008

can women over 40 still possess this skill ? or do their muscles turn to flab ? :laugh:

like making love to a bowl of Jello..:ermm:

laurapasinifan · Dec 17, 2008

Kyle said:
let it be told that some women don't age like others. i've seen some hot over 40 even over 50 women tourists that are hotties. i can see why dominican men flock to them.

having looks and pesos is a double bonus right ? :ermm:

that is amazing since you swear that all men tourist over 40 are fat and out of shape and need to tie dollar bills to their belt to get action.. ha ha ha

bad bad bob

laurajane · Dec 18, 2008

jrzyguy said:
i dont this is a unique dominican thing. I see older (rich) men with younger (very attractive) women here in NYC. Its pretty common. So what is the issue when it goes the other way around?

I have been thinking the same thing for ages, So i am glad someone else thinks the same....What is the big deal?

For years men have been dating younger women, it has been a status symbol for decades perhaps longer. Yes people point fingers and snigger behind their backs but why on earth do people have a problem when the roles are reversed.

I know some think that its different that a older woman probably believes that the younger man has fallen head of heels with her, but most women are very aware of the situation but would not voice it. And i dont really believe the men who date younger women are not also convinced that their woman is with them because really she likes old men...oh wait for it "she likes a more distinguished man that knows how to treat a woman"..they fall for it hook line and sinker too. But either way everyone is entitles to be with whom they choose...live and let live!

As for the OP original question or comments rather, if you put asside the age difference, culture difference and that they both have agreeable personalities, i think it just comes back to how some relationships all over the world dont work out, same ethnic background, same cultures included. Sometimes it just doesn't work out, boredom, infidelity, financial problems and wanting different things. No one enters a serious relationship knowing it wont work out, but sometimes that just what happens.

sammystorm19 · Dec 18, 2008

I feel age is just a number. If you are happy with that person for whatever reason it is, then all the power to ya!!!

Thats my 2 cents worth!!!

And before it is asked......NO I am not dating a younger guy at all. I like them around my age, which isn't that old at all.

Cheers

Erin

contasm · Dec 19, 2008

Taking a closer look at my original post, I might now recognize that expectations are indeed very much influenced by culture. See, I mention the age gap reference (please readers, let?s stick to the example provided; older NA woman and younger Dominican man, because this setting seems to be the one that is most likely to fail).
because, for example, younger Dominican man, returning to DR for a visit after being sponsored by NA woman, HAST TO, MUST be back with the latest running shoes and a heavy ghetto gold chain around his neck, this is what is expected of him and he needs to satisfy those expectations in front of his peers, from his own social circle in DR. This type of expectation is part of his culture!!!! I failed to make this link in my original post. An older, more mature woman, might be at stage where, perhaps, saving for a home down payment is first priority? because that?s what has been ?drilled? into her head from the time she was 13 !!!!

I know, I know? this topic is very confusing; too many factors involved; age, gender, culture etc?

I believe age gapers will never be culturally compatible, they might, in some cases, be able to tolerate and understand it each other?s culture, but stats and reality tell us that these relationships don?t not last?..

Saludos
Contasm

Kyle · Dec 22, 2008

laurapasinifan said:
that is amazing since you swear that all men tourist over 40 are fat and out of shape and need to tie dollar bills to their belt to get action.. ha ha ha

bad bad bob

did i hit a nerve young man ?

aranoid:

resistance is futile....

laurapasinifan · Dec 22, 2008

Kyle said:
did i hit a nerve young man ? aranoid:

resistance is futile....

I am sure...but not mine!

resistance to Aging? or getting into a debate about it with you? ha ha ha

merry christams!

"young man"?? come on, once and old geezer....theres no going back they say!! ha ha ha

bad bad bob

Kyle · Dec 22, 2008

seriously, i've never had so much fun at this age. i thought i was going to be walking around with Depends undergarments in my knapsack. now i just carry trojans and a big smile :laugh:

Feliz Navidad bob !!!

Older woman; much, much younger guy

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