I feel insecure about my dining etiquette..

poetic125 said:

So I am a Dominican American from new York. I feel insecure about my dining etiquette when eating with my boyfriends family (who are very dominican from santo domingo). My parents are more from el campo, and never tought me formal table etiquette.
1) When do i know when Im suppose to serve the food for my boy friend ..or when he is suppose to serve it himself?
2)When I meet some one for the first time do i say "much gusto"...and then when i say bye i say "fue un placer"? Does this apply to everyone i meet for the first time?
3)When I go into his aunts house do i have to give every one a kiss on the cheek when greeting them.
4) I feel like people think im stand offish...but its that i sometimes dont know what to do immediatly. I am very "simpatica y buena jente" ..i am very outgoing but more when i can speak in english.
5)When eating at the family table is it rude to converse?
6)When i eat at some ones house do i say"gracia por la comida"?..it sounds weird.
7) Is over all american table manners the same as dominican..like if i take an ettiquete class in the city can it be applied when eating out in DR.
8)when a guy says "quidate" when leaving..what do i say?
9)when some one tells me "fue un placer" do i say "gracias"

Click to expand...

1. Let your boyfriend's mother handle her baby. Help her instead... you'll make more points.
2. "Mucho gusto" is adequate. "Gracias por to'o" can be switched with your "fue un placer" at your will.
3. Follow what's going on, if they do it, it will be likely that somebody grabs you and gives you a hug and a kiss on a cheek.. just let yourself be hugged and go with the flow. Some of the old men can be grumpy at times, and you will notice that people just pay their respects to that person but don't try to jump all over them. But usually people are quite warm and touch and are used to be touched.
4. The best way IN is thru the kids and the ol' folks. If the ol' folks receive respect (you may even be a little old school) you will have protection and their blessings. Kids will approach you. They are courious and will respond incredibely to you giving them just your time. If you become their princess... every body will love you.
5. That will depend on the social class. Some families don't even get so organized that they would really all sit down together and have an orderly meal together. It can get loud and soon enough nobody is listening, just talking... and each one louder than the other. Upper class folks may try to show more sobrety, at the beginning at least. Women may automatically segregate themselves from the men and boys at a certain time. You may not get to see much of your boyfriend and maybe not enjoy too much what you see. Just look the other way, make friends and have a good time yourself and let him and his good ol' boys have what they deem to be a good time.
6. I have seldom seen Dominicans to be overly vocal about being thankful for a meal. I usually say "gracias estaba rico/delicioso" before leaving the table. I would not specify "... por la comida".
7. Agian, I think if you behave in an educated, respectful and helpful manner you will not run into trouble, even if it's a bit different to how they may behave... you can always adjust as you go to the lower end, if you see that you have been welcomed by a wild bunch.
8. "quidate" means "take care (of yourself). It's well meant... You can answer with a warm "... y tu (or Usted if they are older) tambien!".
9. "fue un placer" means it was a pleasure. Just like in English you would not answer with thank you, you will return a warm "igualmente!".

poetic125 said:

So I am a Dominican American from new York. I feel insecure about my dining etiquette when eating with my boyfriends family (who are very dominican from santo domingo). My parents are more from el campo, and never tought me formal table etiquette.
1) When do i know when Im suppose to serve the food for my boy friend ..or when he is suppose to serve it himself? Only ifyou are going to be a subservient, meek little wifey. Offer to serve him, but let him fend for himself, if he knows what's good for him.. Most Dominican men do not know how to behave...
2)When I meet some one for the first time do i say "much gusto"...and then when i say bye i say "fue un placer"? Does this apply to everyone i meet for the first time? Mucho gusto is more than adequate. Go with that.
3)When I go into his aunts house do i have to give every one a kiss on the cheek when greeting them.Embrace and sort of smooch the women. Extend you hand to the men. When you get to know and like them, THEN you can give them an embrace and peck.
4) I feel like people think im stand offish...but its that i sometimes dont know what to do immediatly. I am very "simpatica y buena jente" ..i am very outgoing but more when i can speak in english.
5)When eating at the family table is it rude to converse? Most people talk at table, but the best stuff comes afterwards...do not sweat it.
6)When i eat at some ones house do i say"gracia por la comida"?..it sounds weird. The best thing, is to say "Buen Provecho" as you get up from the table. "Gracias por todo, fue muy buena la comida" will more than convey your appreciation.
7) Is over all american table manners the same as dominican..like if i take an ettiquete class in the city can it be applied when eating out in DR. Table manners are good manners. Some small things change, but generally speaking, good manner are fine.
8)when a guy says "quidate" when leaving..what do i say? This is "cuidate" and it means "take care"...you can say "igualmente" and "gracias"
9)when some one tells me "fue un placer" do i say "gracias"

Click to expand...