Met Dominicano through his sister in law...genuine?

VeronicaRose · Mar 26, 2009

Hey everyone,

This is my first post and so far I've found all the info on here and the responses very eye opening and helpful. I know that there are some cases in which Canadian/Dominican relationships work, which is very encouraging, but it seems like 90-95% of them end up in heartache, loss of money, confusion, etc. Here is my story...

In December, I went for a massage, and the receptionist and I got to talking, as well as the massage therapist and I (they're sisters). When we were talking, the receptionist (From Guatemala, but moved to Canada years and years ago...maybe 15 or so) told me she met her husband on the cruise line they both worked on, and that he was originally from the DR. She asked if I was single and said that her brother in law, in the DR is single and really good looking, very nice, etc. Long story short, he phoned me the next day and since then we've been talking on the phone, msn, webcam, emails. Wondering if there's ANY chance that this could be genuine, because I'm clinging onto the fact that I met him through a family member, and not at some resort.

Any advice or thoughts or questions are GREATLY appreciated.

Thanks!
VR xo

AnnaC · Mar 26, 2009

What does he do for a living?

I'm trying to get the relationship straight. This lady that wants to introduce you to her bother in law is what to you and your sister?

I don't mean to sound harsh but why do you need to be set up with someone you've never met? Have you ever been to the DOMINICAN REPUBLIC?

Ask yourself this, why does he need to be set up with someone from Canada when there are so many beautiful Dominicanas in his country. I mean it's different when two people meet on their own and think there is a spark or whatever to pursue.

Chip · Mar 26, 2009

More than likely he genuinely wants to leave the DR in any way shape and form - including breaking hearts along the way.

If you want to meet an eligible Dominican do yourself a favor and look for one who has a job and an education the equal of yours otherwise you will just be a business opportunity for him.

jalencastro · Mar 26, 2009

huh?

AnnaC said:
I'm trying to get the relationship straight. This lady that wants to introduce you to her bother in law is what to you and your sister?

i'm trying to figure this one out too....LOL :ermm:

catcherintherye · Mar 26, 2009

Just a hypothetical scenario:

Husband to wife (receptionist): My brother wants to move up here, so we can hang out together and have fun, like we used to do in SD. But he will need a visa, so see what you can dredge up for him, will ya?

Wife to husband: Okay, anything for your familia, mi amor. I'll keep a look out for a likely sponsor para tu hermano.

Later at the reception desk, with masseuse and prospective sponsor:

Wife to prospective visa sponsor: You look like you'd buy just about any line I'd try to sell you, whoops, I mean you look like a nice lady. Do you want to meet a wonderful man, who will help keep my husband away from me? He's hang like a horse, and good looking to boot. Dominicano, you know!

Prospective visa sponsor: Sure! Sounds like he is a real catch. I'll bet we'll be happy for ever and ever. My prince has come.

That evening, the receptionist at home with hubby:

Husband to wife: Well, how'd you make out today? I have to call my brother tonight.

Wife to husband: Great. I think I got a keeper for your brother. Now, will you let me have tonight off, por favor?

VeronicaRose · Mar 26, 2009

Thanks for your responses, guys.

Sorry for the confusion on the relationship: The receptionist is my 'boyfriends' sister in law. The receptionist's sister is my massage therapist (sorry I threw that one in there, it was irrelovant to my story! furthering confusion...

)

AnnaC: He is a welder and just opened his own shop with his brother in the Dominican (I've seen the business cards, so I'm sure it exists). I haven't been to the Dominican ever. I guess I was open to being set up with someone I didn't know because for some reason I trusted his sister in law, she seems really genuine and we just clicked really well and she said that him and I would get along well. (Am I sounding severly naive right now??)

Another thing is: I've had past long distance relationships and made the mistake of being the one to visit him first, and I told myself that in the future, it would have to be the man come to see me first.....I feel I've been trying to justify this in this case seeing as I live in a free country and am able to leave whenever I want, without the hassle of a visitors visa etc.....but I'm thinking now of saying to him that if I'm as important to him as he says I am....he can find a way, hell or high water, to come and see me, if he's being sincere about this.....

VeronicaRose · Mar 26, 2009

catcherintherye: thank you for your scenario...it's opening my eyes and I'm no longer thinking that this is picture perfect....i feel so confused though because I know that there are some success stories, few and far between, but they CAN happen. trying to tell myself I don't owe him anything and i am free to walk away at any time, especially since we've only been 'dating' long distance for 3 and a half months. part of me wants to stick around and see if it's legit. thinking of just not putting in effort and letting him do all the work for a while and seeing if it lasts. what do you think?

Chip · Mar 26, 2009

VeronicaRose said:
Thanks for your responses, guys.

Sorry for the confusion on the relationship: The receptionist is my 'boyfriends' sister in law. The receptionist's sister is my massage therapist (sorry I threw that one in there, it was irrelovant to my story! furthering confusion... )

AnnaC: He is a welder and just opened his own shop with his brother in the Dominican (I've seen the business cards, so I'm sure it exists). I haven't been to the Dominican ever. I guess I was open to being set up with someone I didn't know because for some reason I trusted his sister in law, she seems really genuine and we just clicked really well and she said that him and I would get along well. (Am I sounding severly naive right now??)

Another thing is: I've had past long distance relationships and made the mistake of being the one to visit him first, and I told myself that in the future, it would have to be the man come to see me first.....I feel I've been trying to justify this in this case seeing as I live in a free country and am able to leave whenever I want, without the hassle of a visitors visa etc.....but I'm thinking now of saying to him that if I'm as important to him as he says I am....he can find a way, hell or high water, to come and see me, if he's being sincere about this.....

A couple of things, there is a welding shop on every corner here in the DR and that doesn't necessarily mean this guy could take care of you or even has a decent income.

However, I do like your last statement.

catcherintherye · Mar 26, 2009

"part of me wants to stick around and see if it's legit. thinking of just not putting in effort and letting him do all the work for a while and seeing if it lasts. what do you think?"

Honestly, I think you would be wasting your time, but that is something you would have to decide.

I think at this point you have to work on percentages. Although there is a very slight (almost non-existent) chance that it's legit, it is much more likely that it is not. If you were a gambling person, it would be very slim odds.

AnnaC · Mar 26, 2009

VeronicaRose said:
Thanks for your responses, guys.

Sorry for the confusion on the relationship: The receptionist is my 'boyfriends' sister in law. The receptionist's sister is my massage therapist (sorry I threw that one in there, it was irrelovant to my story! furthering confusion... )

Another thing is: I've had past long distance relationships and made the mistake of being the one to visit him first, and I told myself that in the future, it would have to be the man come to see me first.....I feel I've been trying to justify this in this case seeing as I live in a free country and am able to leave whenever I want, without the hassle of a visitors visa etc.....but I'm thinking now of saying to him that if I'm as important to him as he says I am....he can find a way, hell or high water, to come and see me, if he's being sincere about this.....

I can see you have an open mind so I will continue.

You've been introduced by HIS family and they have HIS best interest at heart not yours.

Yes you live in a free country but so does he. He is FREE to come to Canada anytime but he has to convince OUR Canadian government that he will return to the DR when his visa expires.

Has he ever visited his brother in the 15 year?

Do a little testing, if he has a business and some money have him apply for a visitor visa to see his brother, do not, I repeat do not get involved or he won't get it for sure. If he can get here to see his brother and meet you in person then you know there MIGHT not be any other agendas.

Good luck and keep an open mind. People are really trying to help you. There are some lovely fish in the sea but there are sharks too so we need to alert you of that fact. Not sure where you got your figures

but a 5% chance of happiness is kind of a high risk investment.

Good luck

2dlight · Mar 26, 2009

Let him visit you...

"AnnaC: He is a welder and just opened his own shop with his brother in the Dominican (I've seen the business cards, so I'm sure it exists)."

A business card does not a business make, it just proves business cards were printed. Anyone can now print those at home.

jrhartley · Mar 26, 2009

seems a strange thing to give someone before a date - a business card ! or am I being old fashioned

AnnaC · Mar 26, 2009

jrhartley said:
seems a strange thing to give someone before a date - a business card ! or am I being old fashioned

They've been chatting for 3 months so I'm sure he's doing anything and everything to prove he's not a, well you know

aranoid:.

VeronicaRose · Mar 26, 2009

yikes....eyes are WIDE open. thanks guys. it's true that HIS family has HIS best interest.....the thing about the visa: he said his highschool burned down and his highschool certificate was lost: again, something that his family backed up...having his best interest. i understand that a highschool certificate is needed in order to visit canada....it seems very ironic and strange to me he doesn't have it though and that it was lost in a fire: don't they keep back up copies of those things that will enable a resident to LEAVE their own country?? i think so....

that being said, he said he's tried to apply for a visa and has been turned down many times without explanation: i've been looking on websites and on this one as well and i found somewhere on here that said visas aren't being handed out right now for dominicans to come to canada...?

he hasn't come to see his brother. i don't know if he's left his own country. making me think: criminal record? no money? what's the deal?

i feel so upset that this pretty much is a guaranteed failure: i've always wanted a foreigner for a husband

i'm trying to keep my head up and just see what happens.....still any more advice is appreciated, and i'll answer any questions. i need to be shaken to see reality in this case, because i desire to see the good in people....and admittedly i can be naive.

jalencastro · Mar 26, 2009

I'm a private detective and can go scope this guy out for you if you want, I am headed to DR in a few months, here is my business card....LOL, sorry had to throw that joke in there.
Veronica, it does seem like everyone is keeping this guy's interests in mind and yours are pretty much ignored. Don't be fooled, always go into these kinds of relationships with eyes wide open...it's healthy to have doubts, you have listed many already that make this relationship very questionable. In any case good luck and enjoy yourself, no need to stress this one much

Chip · Mar 26, 2009

VeronicaRose said:
yikes....eyes are WIDE open. thanks guys. it's true that HIS family has HIS best interest.....the thing about the visa: he said his highschool burned down and his highschool certificate was lost: again, something that his family backed up...having his best interest. i understand that a highschool certificate is needed in order to visit canada....it seems very ironic and strange to me he doesn't have it though and that it was lost in a fire: don't they keep back up copies of those things that will enable a resident to LEAVE their own country?? i think so....

that being said, he said he's tried to apply for a visa and has been turned down many times without explanation: i've been looking on websites and on this one as well and i found somewhere on here that said visas aren't being handed out right now for dominicans to come to canada...?

he hasn't come to see his brother. i don't know if he's left his own country. making me think: criminal record? no money? what's the deal?

i feel so upset that this pretty much is a guaranteed failure: i've always wanted a foreigner for a husband i'm trying to keep my head up and just see what happens.....still any more advice is appreciated, and i'll answer any questions. i need to be shaken to see reality in this case, because i desire to see the good in people....and admittedly i can be naive.

Hey, you're coming around! As for as wanting to meet Dominicans, I understand there are large communities in some of the major cities in Canada. Why don't you take the time to learn Spanish and merengue/salsa dancing and start frequenting the areas where they hang out? Dominican guys typically being on the darker side are very much attracted to lighter skin women, even if they aren't considered really exceptional where they are from. Good luck.

AnnaC · Mar 26, 2009

His high school burned down? Get the name I'm sure someone on DR1 can check that out. He doesn't need it for a visit. Watch out for what sounds like BS. What city does he live in?

Here's what he needs to apply

To visit Canada, you must:

have a valid travel document, such as a passport
be in good health
satisfy an immigration officer that you have ties, such as a job, home and family, that will take you back to your country of origin
satisfy an immigration officer that you will leave Canada at the end of your visit and
have enough money for your stay. The amount of money you will need can vary with the circumstances of the visit, how long you will stay and whether you will stay in a hotel or with friends or relatives. For more information, ask the Canadian visa office in your country or region.

You may also need:

a Temporary Resident Visa, depending on your citizenship (see Visas and Exemptions below)
a medical examination and
a letter of invitation from someone who lives in Canada

If you've always wanted a foreigner for a husband and you live in the Toronto area give the latin clubs a try, at least they already have a visa. Ok I'm trying to add little humour here. But do ask them how they got here

catcherintherye · Mar 26, 2009

Veronica,

I really think you have enough information, you just need to process it on your own.

You're looking for a feel-good romantic ending. Unfortunately, those kind of ending are few and far between, and every scam artist in the world knows how to hold the happy ending out as bait.

A word to the wise: rely on your intelligence and common sense, and stop believing in happy endings. They don't exist. The best we can expect is a sense that it's been interesting, and that we weren't too badly hurt in the process.

carlam · Mar 26, 2009

Hi Veronica,

I am pretty new to this site, and have only answered a couple of times to other questions asked by others, but i read everything daily, and I will give you my opinion,
the person who I knew was also from the Dominican Republic and I was from the US, he was a police officer, and not a worker from any of the resorts, really nice guy to talk to and did not ask for anything right away, but soon small requests starting coming and I learned quickly what western union was, and now, well, I am a lot wiser,
So be wise right away, do not make a mistake you will regret later, and if it is the real thing, it will continue on, and if not, you will not have lost anything, including your own self-worth.

Music · Mar 26, 2009

If you do ask them, you will get the same answer for most of them LOL

AnnaC said:
[/LIST]If you've always wanted a foreigner for a husband and you live in the Toronto area give the latin clubs a try, at least they already have a visa. Ok I'm trying to add little humour here. But do ask them how they got here

VeronicaRose- Keep your eyes opened I agree with Ana this whole thing about the high school burning down is BS. Besides you did mention he has been dined a visitor visa but did not get a reason why? Why wouldn't he know why he was denied? Is it me or dont' they tell you why but I could be wrong.

Besides, he's not the only guy out there, I say date and explore what's out there and don't waste too much time on this guy

Good luck!

Met Dominicano through his sister in law...genuine?

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