I feel the hate....but don't know why?

Yayow · Apr 24, 2009

You know I can feel the hate, I just don?t know why it is so strong. Since I have been perusing the forums on this site, I have noticed it in many of the postings. I personally don?t know why everybody seems so concerned with it, because as far as I am concerned it is a personal preference. Why such a virulent criticism regarding a person?s dress. What I am talking about is the apparent desire of many North Americans to wear shorts and sandals. Posting after posting there are snide remarks about this particular style of attire.

Now I have heard the Dominican saying before regarding men wearing shorts, ? Shorts are for children and clowns?, says who? I simply don?t get it, why does what I choose to wear concern so many people out there. I am one of those, I guess you would call us, ugly Americans because I wear shorts about 90% of the time, my footwear varies. I have lived in the Dominican Republic now for a little over a year and a half, and I really didn?t know it was such a problem until I recently began reading different postings on this site.

Now at one time in my life my mother would dress me and I understood that she was concerned in how I looked and presented myself while out in public, that is after all a mother?s prerogative. But now that I am grown can?t I wear what makes me feel comfortable? After all it is the Caribbean, at least it was the last time I looked and most days are very hot. Now I don?t make snide remarks if I see someone running around in long pants and a tie, I may think to myself that they look a little uncomfortable, but I don?t have any desire to run up to them and tell them about themselves.

I guess now that I have reached this stage of my life, I would like to take it a little bit easier and maybe the shorts or a symbol of that. I have been retired now for a little more than 2 years. Before that I was a Detective in NY and as such wore a suit and tie just about everyday. If I never have to put on another one of those, I would be very happy. Actually in storage as I am sitting here writing this, I have probably 20 suits, and different other combinations of sport jackets and slacks, and at least 50 different ties. And you know what, I haven?t thought at all about bringing them down here. I guess I feel that my obligation when I go out in public is to have on clean clothes, have them pressed neatly, and not wear anything that would be considered vulgar or offensive.

But then again maybe I am missing something, hopefully some of you that have made comments about this phenomena would comment and help educate me.

Thanks,

Yayow

Frank the Tank · Apr 24, 2009

Oh, boy. Here we go again.

badpiece33 · Apr 24, 2009

If you are in a tourist area such as Sosua or Punta Cana by all means wear your shorts and cut offs but if you are going into a city such as Santiago or Santo Domingo you should dress as people who live there so you wont stick out like a sore thumb. You can't get into certain establishments in these cities with shorts or sleeveless shirts. We are just trying to show you the proper attire for the Dominican Republic. Thats all.

NALs · Apr 25, 2009

Badpiece said it all.

When you decide to visit the Dominican Republic, forget the shorts. The tourists areas are the Dominican Republic in name only, the real DR lies elsewhere on the island. Hence, in tourists areas you can wear them with no problems, in the DR you cannot.

-NALs

Thandie · Apr 25, 2009

In Bermuda very successful, wealthy, well travelled and highly educated business men wear shorts to work and it is normal and not looked down upon. As my Bermudian friend said 'we wear shorts, and no ties because it is hot'. LOL
Similar temperture but Bermuda shorts work there but not in the DR.

The way you dress and look in the DR is VERY important!!! Image is everything!!! Dont forget it is a very classist society. People will comment and whisper about the way you dress, so there is pressure. You have to be very conscious of what you wear.

People spend alot of money to present themselves in a certain way, hair, name brand designer clothes, etc., even when they cant afford it.
People are way more judgemental about what you wear and the way you look, than what Americans, etc are use to.
You have to be very conscious of this if you want to 'fit in' with the locals.
Dont expect an open mind in this area. Tigueres dress one way, professionals one way, nice rich respectable girls another and tourists another.
Now that I am back in Toronto I notice how 'boxed' dress styles are in the DR, and there is very little variety to the way Dominicans dress. I actually missed the variety and originality. In the DR the way you dress, you fit into box labelled A, B or C. Period.
In Canada I know male doctors with long hair in a ponytail and earrings and most could care less, as long as he is a good doctor. That wouldnt happen in the DR. Different culture, values and mindset.

Seems very superficial, but that is the way it is. Dont expect a change anytime soon. Just have to conform and adapt if you want to have a comfortable life there.
Or you can head to Bermuda, you wont stick out like a sore thumb.
But....unfortunately it is about 1000 times more expensive to live there compared to the DR.

But hey I understand your frustrations about something that seems so trivial and unimportant. Every immigrant in their new country has some culture shock, thats normal. Now you know how recent immigrants to the USA feel.
Just buy some light weight nice dressier pants and be glad you dont have to wear winter boots and goose down jackets LOL.

Lambada · Apr 25, 2009

Even in tourist towns there are certain activities for which shorts/sandals would not be permitted, for example, there is a dress code for governmental offices, Courts, etc. This applies to everyone, regardless. The poorest people here will go round the barrio borrowing the correct clothes for a doctor's appointment, visit to Fiscal, etc if they do not actually own them themselves. If they can make that sort of effort it shouldn't be beyond the ability of most foreigners to respect the local conventions. They can think what they will about these conventions but if they do not abide by them they are in fact damaging themselves. Being attired in such a way that the locals view as tiguere or slobbish does not mean you are, but it means the locals think you are. Therefore you are making the job of acceptance into the host culture that much more difficult. Common sense says make it as easy as you can.

When you enter what is a tribal culture, the norms of the tribe prevail over the norms of the individual. In the society you come from, Yayow, there is emphasis on the individual and individual rights (same as for me coming originally from UK). Here the primary reference group (family, tribe) is more important than the individual. It possibly stems from survival skills, greater strength as a small group than as an individual.

Does that help any?

? bient?t · Apr 25, 2009

Real men wear shorts

Alright, here's the scoop:

Badpiece is not Dominican, and NALs hasn't visited the island in ages. One thinks he knows, and the other thinks we think he knows.

Now, I don't always wear shorts, but when I do, I make 'em look good.

Stay comfortable, my friend.

Hose-B
A Dumbminican who visits often

Tamborista · Apr 25, 2009

Yayow,

It is perfectly ok to wear shorts to a Jimmydr BBQ but for goodness sake, put on a pair of slacks to cruise chicas on El Conde mate!

tambo'

whirleybird · Apr 25, 2009

? bient?t said:
Alright, here's the scoop:

Badpiece is not Dominican, and NALs hasn't visited the island in ages. One thinks he knows, and the other thinks we think he knows.

Now, I don't always wear shorts, but when I do, I make 'em look good.

Stay comfortable, my friend.

Hose-B
A Dumbminican who visits often

Sorry, but how helpful was that?

Thandie · Apr 25, 2009

A Bientot,

Just have to say I love your writing style and your wit LOL

I agree it is important to feel comfortable, and I have seen some Dominican men jazz up long short outfits, depending where they are going. I was raised in the Caribbean so very use to the heat, and my other expat friends couldnt understand how I could wear pants and long sleeve shirts without being uncomfortably hot or sweating to death. They put on a pair of pants and were close to fainting. lol

badpiece33 · Apr 25, 2009

? bient?t said:
Alright, here's the scoop:

Badpiece is not Dominican, and NALs hasn't visited the island in ages. One thinks he knows, and the other thinks we think he knows.

Now, I don't always wear shorts, but when I do, I make 'em look good.

Stay comfortable, my friend.

Hose-B
A Dumbminican who visits often

And this is why you will always be considered a chopo Dominicanyork!!! Wear your shorts and always be looked on as a just a tourist or worse, a tigere, I believe I am there much more than you so I do know what I am talking about. Stay comfortable my friend and learn how to assimilate into your surroundings and wear a pair of light slacks.

? bient?t · Apr 25, 2009

I wish I was a t?guere: they get all the good girls. But next time I'm home, not only will I wear shorts, but will go shirtless around the city, sporting my new Yakuza tattoo.

mike l · Apr 25, 2009

I will start wearing long pants when the girls stop wearing padded bras!

At least with shorts you know what you are getting!

El Tigre · Apr 25, 2009

I am Dominican. Live in NYC. Travel to the DR often and the ONLY ONLY ONLYYYYYYYYYYYYY time you will catch me in shorts is in a resort. I learned this lesson the HARD way. Went somewhere in shorts thinking what the heck I don't live here bla bla bla...well...everyone gave me a bad eye. My NY state of mind said F these people but then I realized that it ain't normal or "standard" for a Dominican of stature (if you will) to wear shorts outise of a resort of their home. What does that make me??? A wanna-be? No...I'm just going with the flow. If shorts where a "NORMAL" thing I would wear them. But it's not.

ExtremeR · Apr 25, 2009

? bient?t said:
Alright, here's the scoop:

Badpiece is not Dominican, and NALs hasn't visited the island in ages. One thinks he knows, and the other thinks we think he knows.

Now, I don't always wear shorts, but when I do, I make 'em look good.

Stay comfortable, my friend.

Hose-B
A Dumbminican who visits often

And you think we think you know just because you visit the island every 2 months like an out of touch Dominican York, in this country males only wear short only when we are going to the beaches, the pool or sleeping in the house.

Besides those 3 scenarios you will just stand out as a ridiculous sinverguenza even though if you are using the new trend in shorts, the squared ones, I remember once I was buying food one sunday, and one guy went in his boxer to buy the food with his kid on his arms, the poor guy had to ignore all the "sinverguenza" calls and "barbarazo", so he won't be embarrased in front of his son.

For the OP, if you want to stand out like a "ridiculo" and actually enjoy it, go around the city; malls, movie theaters, restaurants in shorts. Now if you want actually to blend in the culture and maybe sport a good fashion wear long pants.

badpiece33 · Apr 25, 2009

? bient?t said:
I wish I was a t?guere: they get all the good girls. But next time I'm home, not only will I wear shorts, but will go shirtless around the city, sporting my new Yakuza tattoo.

In all seriousness if you go shirtless in some areas of the Capital or Santiago the police will stop you and really give you a hard time, I have seen it happen to people on numerous occasions. I had a buddy of mine stopped in his car on Maximo Gomez in the capital because he was operating a car without a shirt.

? bient?t · Apr 25, 2009

ExtremeR said:
And you think we think you know just because you visit the island every 2 months like an out of touch Dominican York, in this country males only wear short only when we are going to the beaches, the pool or sleeping in the house.

Besides those 3 scenarios you will just stand out as a ridiculous sinverguenza even though if you are using the new trend in shorts, the squared ones, I remember once I was buying food one sunday, and one guy went in his boxer to buy the food with his kid on his arms, the poor guy had to ignore all the "sinverguenza" calls and "barbarazo", so he won't be embarrased in front of his son.

For the OP, if you want to stand out like a "ridiculo" and actually enjoy it, go around the city; malls, movie theaters, restaurants in shorts. Now if you want actually to blend in the culture and maybe sport a good fashion wear long pants.

An out-of-touch Dominican? How 'bout a secure-in-his-skin Dominican? "Rid?culo" say you? Not a chance, my friend. But while I admit to deep paranoia and insecurities, on the outside, I'm the man. And everybody knows it.

I know what I'm talking about. Again, shorts are OK. You folks are atrasados: shorts is the new black.

ramesses · Apr 25, 2009

So here I am with my so, so, so pearly white skin and my camera and knapsack wandering around town aimlessly....but I have long pants and long sleeves on and I blend right in....I am not wearing shorts so everyone now thinks I am dominicano.

El Tigre · Apr 25, 2009

So let me get this straight. You post a thread saying you feel the hate but you don't know why. We tell you why and you don't want to accept it. Hummmm. Tell me again why you decided to post about this subject???

Thandie · Apr 25, 2009

El Tigre said:
So let me get this straight. You post a thread saying you feel the hate but you don't know why. We tell you why and you don't want to accept it. Hummmm. Tell me again why you decided to post about this subject???

The OP did not respond to any posts yet.

I feel the hate....but don't know why?

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