Conduct while living with a famiy in DR?

NYC2DR

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Nov 24, 2008
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I see all of the posts about living in DR, but I notice all of the post are about independent living. My situation is different because I'll be living with a family. A mother, father and two sons. Can you provide advice as far as living with a family?

I'm sure they'll cover the basics with me, but what about how I fit it? Should making it to dinner be a priority? I'm American and did not eat "family dinner" every night and I understand Dominicans are extremely family oriented?

Also, should I bring a gift when I move to DR or is this something I should consider when I move out? I'll be in DR the entire 2010 calendar year.

Any suggestions/advice will be appreciated.
 

las2137

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Sep 1, 2008
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I have lived with host families in a few countries and have found that a small gift is always appreciated. I suggest something typical of the area where you are from- if you are from NYC it could be a photography book of NYC, I [heart] NY t-shirts, etc. Make it simple but thoughtful. When I was in high school, my family hosted a German exchange student for a year, and he brought us a small toy Trabant, something we still treasure 15 years later.

I haven't lived with a Dominican family, so I can't give much advice on living with one. From what I understand, however, nightly dinner is not as big of a deal here as it is in the States since the big meal of the day is at lunch. It is common on the weekends to go visiting relatives (or receive these visits), especially for Sunday lunch. It would be a good idea to tag along on these, especially during your first weeks.

Take cues from the "parents" and be honest and open about any questions you have. In my experience, the more open I was about being totally confused about some cultural norm, the more willing my hosts were to accept what they considered quirks (and what I considered normal!). Also, it's a great conversation opener.

Best of luck and enjoy your year!
 

MikeFisher

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Feb 28, 2006
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when living with a family making it for dinner is essential,
at least at the dominican families where i stayed.
if you have a specific work shedule they will be flexibel in case of the 'exact' time, but to meet up for dinner is a big point, doesn't matter to where your way leads you afterwards.
Mike
 

GringoCArlos

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Jan 9, 2002
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Definitely bring some welcoming gifts for the family when you come for the big move...
doesn't matter if they are professionals, travel to NYC every year, or whatever - they live in the DR and are welcoming you into their home

....NYC hats or t-shirts for the boys
or ....a NYC 2010 calendar with scenes from the city
or.......pick up a box of fresh canoli on the way to the airport
or..........a small US flag ( like 6" x 9") with a little flagpole
or.............a NYC tote bag for the wife
or.....if they don't speak very much English, and you don't have a lot of Spanish, a basic English to Spanish phrase book (rather than a dictionary) so you can communicate and understand what you both are talking about.....if the adults don't use it, the kids definitely will
or....a 2010 NYC appointment book -it will impress their visitors on their desk at work

As for daily life while you are here next year, bring some recipes for the food you cook at home in NY for the weekends in the DR - they will probably enjoy trying new things too.
 

MikeFisher

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and very easy to please their 2 boys.
bring them 2 baseball gloves and a couple balls, that present never fails, even if they would have a glove in the house, b/c what you bring would be a original american/NYC baseballglove, nothing can beat such boy's toy here.
Mike
 

Hillbilly

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Jan 1, 2002
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More information needed:
Where will you be staying--what city or town?
Does this family host you for religious or cultural exchange?
How old are the boys?
Has the family traveled? To where?
Is this AFS or something similar?

Depending on the level of sophistication of the family, your "gifts" could either be tacky or misunderstood. Like, what woman really wants an iron for her birthday>?

With a bit more information, we can help you a little bit better..

HB
 

MikeFisher

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from my readings on his other postings he will stay with the family of his NYC barber/friend for one year to better his spanish skills and to get better in the understanding of dominican culture/daily life, he has savings to spend that 1 year here, work is not needed to make money for a living.
afterwards he wants to run a business in NYC with mostly latin people involved, so he want's to dive deeper into the latin culture first.
Mike
 

Hillbilly

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At that socio-economic level he will be supporting the family so everything that was suggested is appropriate. Tshirts, coffee pots, the whole 9 yards...with a bottle of JW Black (or Green or Blue) or White Label...they really do not know the difference in the taste...

Have fun with this "Total Immersion" course in Spanish..

HB
 

GringoCArlos

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...in another thread he mentioned his host family were professionals, but didn't provide more info than that.
 

Hillbilly

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"Profesionales" in this society can be, and often is, almost anything. While it IS a step above being a "Bachiller", which in Real Speak means the person knows next to nothing but can opine on everything, being a profesional in the DR is not a ticket to economic success.

I also have to wonder about the family of a barber becoming profesionales. Going forward, without knowledge of the who, what, where, and when of this post is meaningless speculation (As I have speculated on the down side)....

Now, you tell me where they live (Piantini vs Guachupita for example) and then we have a better idea on how to help this person make a good initial impression.

HB
 

ExtremeR

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Mar 22, 2006
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Anyhow, I am pretty sure if he brings a coffe "greca" as a gift to their family, they will be offended, the only instance in which they will be thankful of that is if they are dirt poor like living next to a "ca??" in Capotillo and still.....The idea of the baseball gloves (leather ones) is pretty good, even rich families would be thankful of that.
 

minerva_feliz

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May 4, 2009
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I'm sure that any of the gifts mentioned would be fine (the cookware is a little much, isn't it?). Here are my ideas: A nice set of Dominos, checkers/chess board, or playing cards that say NYC, or something about where you a from or a sports team; a smelly decorative candle; baseball hats for the guys; small in-expensive body cream or perfume for the girls (hit a sale at B&B Works, that stuff is sold at way over retail here!). I think those things works for whatever level of "professional" they may be, and no need to worry about sizing (if you get shirts, make sure they are sized small, people don't generally wear baggy clothes here).

It's good to express yourself and your concerns, but remember to be polite and not criticize something too harshly or directly. You will be their guest and they will probably be giving you the best food they can buy on the best plates they own, so try to be flexible in your expectations when served boiled plantains 3 nights a week.

Just smile, learn to greet and interact Dominican style with warmth and you will be fine.