Dominican women and cheating

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

From what I can see, it's cultural and handed down over the generations, to both men and women.

An American friend I had here in SDQ was engaged to marry a Dominican. She made it clear from the get-go that she would not tolerate cheating. He cheated anyway and the friend broke up with him immediately.

His family, with whom she was close, did contact her... but to tell her she was being unreasonable. His mother, at one point her future suegra, said, "This is just what men do, you have to get used to it. Now get over it and take him back." (BTW, he was from a prominent family with tons of money, so this wasn't a "trap the gringa" situation.)

The guy who cheated had a sister. I'm sure the mother taught her the same thing...

catcherintherye said:

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

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hahahaha,
sadly I agree.
AZB

G5ive said:

My girlfriend used to go out with a guy that cheated on her constantly when she used to live in DR, even had a kid with another girl a month into their relationship and my girlfriend would get mad she said it would hurt but yet they continued in the relationship for 5 years? My girlfriend even accepted the little girl he had with another girl.

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Be careful she is probably still seeing him because she sees him as a real man and you probably as a pendejo who worships the ground she walks on.

Men will be men anywhere on earth, it is not natural to be with one woman only, even though some of you manage to do it, God bless you guys, your much better than I ever can or will be. Dominican women accept this reality and as long as the man has his responsibilities straight and takes care of his woman and kids, then it is, if not acceptable it is ignored as long as he provides for his family.

catcherintherye said:

They "put up" with it because it is convenient for them, and frankly, the girls in those relationships condone that behavior because they do exactly the same thing.

What's good for the goose is good for the gander.

It works for everyone's benefit.

Click to expand...

Catcher what an opportunistic creature you are, thanks god you are a person cuz if you were a virus there would be no antibiotics for you. I hope this is not an indication of your personality cuz if it is you must be a sad person. I feel sorry for your neighbors.

Badpiece got it. You can try to suppress the fact that you're a man and like other women all you want but that will never go away. It's a physiological thing. Now in our societies it's been drilled into us since we're little that "cheating" is a bad thing and shouldn't be done and as a result some people do suppress those feelings, others would probably like to but don't have a lot of choices so they stay with that one woman - Maybe they feel that's the best they can do.

Anyhow, Why do women stay? Mostly is because it is not seen as big of a deal in The DR as it is in The US. People would look at the woman like "Is she crazy staying around after this?" Kind of like you are right now...But in The DR there's not the same reaction from peers thus is a lot easier to stay in the relationship.

If on the other hand it was the woman who cheated it would be extremely hard for the guy to stay in the relationship even if he wanted to due to that same peer pressure. Every other guy would look at him like he was such a puss...it would be unbearable.

i suppose they all just like sex with different people - I beleive sex and marriage sometimes go together though lol

Beyond what has been discussed in this thread I think part of the reason is that some Dominican women fall in love very hard and therefore allow themselves to be taken advantage of.

Women put up with it when they have no choice, usually economic. Once women begin to get better educated and have more job opportunities - meaning the option of being able to support themselves if they leave the marriage - tolerance decreases and you get more divorces and remarriages as opposed to the old model of parallel families.

Not to say that there won't be some who always put up with it, for cultural and psychological reasons outlined above.

...

Let's be real now, most Latino/African/Caribbean people are CHEATERS!! I am not saying they are the only ones, but around 60% more than your average 'white' person. What I mean is, the men does it, and the woman is ok with it. Many people think it's mostly because of economics reasons, like the man provides for his wife so she sticks with him, but that isn't the reason. I have no idea what the real reason, but I can tell you guys, my grandma (who is Haitian from a upper class family) married my grandpa who was from middle class, so she didn't need his money or support. Yet, every few days, she would iron his clothes and get him ready to go see his girlfriends!
Now, I am half Haitian-Canadian and still a teenager, would I put up with cheating? I can't even answer that yet. My mom Canadian doesn't understand why someone would cheat, but my Dad is trying to make me understand that 'it's normal for men to cheat' I am also quite conscient that dating someone from a culture in which cheating is normal, I might have to deal with some late night 'work shifts.'

Vacara said:

Catcher what an opportunistic creature you are, thanks god you are a person cuz if you were a virus there would be no antibiotics for you. I hope this is not an indication of your personality cuz if it is you must be a sad person. I feel sorry for your neighbors.

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Catcher you can be my neighbor anytime.

G5ive said:

Doesn't it make more sense to just leave the person and do what you do without being tied to a boyfriend then?

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No it doesn't make sense to just leave your man or woman because as a man you can truly love a woman and still have little trysts with other women. I actually think it is better in some relationships when the man has some fun on the side as long as he and his little side kicks realize that is all it is.
Go ahead ladies start bashing me but deep in your hearts some of you will agree with me,Lets just see if any of you will do it in writing.

You know why guys cheat? Because even true love can be boring "Night After Night"...

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Berzin said:

You know why guys cheat? Because even true love can be boring "Night After Night"...

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Funny video! I remember watching that episode as a kid, but was too young to understand the full meaning LOL
But men dont hold the monopoly on being bored. I just overheard a bunch of married women in my gym change room talking about things that would make their men cringe. Yes the truth does hurt sometimes!
Usually the woman is beyond bored, long before the guy is...i.e. the headache excuse, faking it, etc.
The truth is the typical guy thinks he is a lot better lover than he really is (as most women know the really good ones are the exception and not the rule!!!), leaving alot of women bored and sexually dissatisfied ...who really want "what she is having" cause that is not what she is getting at home LOL.

Remember that famous line from the lady in When Harry Met Sally

YouTube - Katz's Delicatessen - in "When Harry Met Sally"

To the OP most DR women put up with it for a variety of reasons (1# reason is financial security) because they know that they will leave one cheat for another one, so what is the point. Better to stay with the devil you know, who is the father and provider of your kids than the devil you dont know.

Like in alot of other developing countries there is a mentality that a 'good' woman will know how to keep a man, and that will include not making a big fuss if he makes a mistake and has a 3 kids with his mistress because hey its normal, my dad and grandad did the same thing. No wonder many developing countries remain poor and underdeveloped generation after generation.

Obvious abnormal behaviour becomes normal (like teen pregnancy) because it is so common, happens generation after generation and no one really questions it or thinks about the negative consequences especially for the kids who are left to deal with the confusing mess...

Also the stigma of being labelled a whore or a 'S' if they go from one man to another man in search for the faithful one, or go out and cheat themselves, will keep them in a situation they are really unhappy in.